From: RobfromVoid <RobfromVoid@prodigy.net> Subject: [PW!] A Shape-shifting Super-hero? Date: Tuesday, February 08, 2000 6:00 PM Luthor the Slowpoke stares at the tall buildings seen in the distance to the west. He is walking ever so slowly with a Machop in a black spandex suit next to him, slowing his pace just to keep up with Luthor, his trainer. He's been walking for a very long time, oblivious to his surroundings as he usually is. When he suddenly stops in his tracks, Bane the Machop doesn't even notice. Luthor's eyes widen at the Saffron City buildings that can be seen from as far as the outskirts of Lavender Town, "That blissfully ignorant healer human female gave me the wrong directions! That's not Safari City - it's Metropolis, home to Superman." "What you talk about?" The broken translator on Bane's suit says when the Machop speaks, "Who super man? Me no know." After a few seconds, Luthor rolls his eyes at Bane, "Of course you wouldn't know who Superman is, Bane. You're Batman's villain, not Superman's. But even if you were Superman's villain, I doubt you'd know who he is. You're not the brightest villain in the world, according to my comic books, and they have never been wrong in the past! Well, except about Parasite, but..." "Me bright!" Bane protests, anger visible in his eyes, and he points eastward towards the purple fog of Lavender Town that is still vaguely visible on the horizon, "Me say you to go ask old cat that say master ball to you, but you no listen. You say me crazy. Me think translator on suit make you think me stupid, when me really smartest MACHOP there is in cave. Me no like you say me crazy. Me would leave you, but me need find Silph and you say you take me to Silph so I stay with you." Luthor notices that Bane's anger causes the Machop's muscles to grow a little. The Slowpoke says, "Don't worry, I will take you to Silph. Then you can beat him up for whatever he did to you. In fact, the only reason we're going to Safari City is because that's where Silph is. He kidnapped my loyal troops and I need you to beat him up so that I can rescue the hostages." "Silph..." Bane's muscles grow a little more when he snorts out the name, and various fluids start running through the tubes connected to his head, "You take me to Silph and me teach Silph lesson." Bane slams his fist against his own open hand. "But first we need to figure out how to get to Safari City. Perhaps there's a villain who lives in Metropolis that could help us... But who?" Luthor stares at one of the far away tall buildings seen on the western horizon - the Silph Co. building. Since Luthor doesn't know what "Silph" is, despite the fact that he uses the word to manipulate Bane, Luthor doesn't recognize the building. But using his vast knowledge of comic books, he makes a perfectly logical assumption, "Hmmm, that's the tallest building in Metropolis. That means that it has to be LexCorp! I can ask my namesake, Lex Luthor, to transport us to Safari City, where Silph is at right now. I'm sure that Lex will be happy to comply, especially when I let him know that I'm a fan of his work." Bane's eyes get bloodshot and he shouts the word "MACHOP" which gets translated as, "LET GO!" Frustrated with the slow pace that Luthor has been walking at and eager to get his revenge on Silph, Bane uses his temporary drug-induced strength to lift Luthor off the ground. He carries the small but chubby Pokemon on his back as he runs towards Saffron City at an alarming rate, scaring Pidgey out of the bushes as he runs! Within a few minutes, Bane has run the distance that Luthor would have taken days to cover. When Bane's artificial rush of energy stops, his muscles quickly atrophy and he drops Luthor to the ground. Luthor hits the pavement of Saffron City sidewalk and says, "Okay, Bane, it'll take a few days to get to Metropolis on paw..." The Slowpoke blinks, looks around to see that he is already there, and after a few seconds mutters, "Never mind." He then attempts to orient himself so that he can figure where "Lexcorp" can be found in the giant city of "Metropolis." Luthor squints at the unfamiliar buildings in the area, "I've seen this city be destroyed by giant monsters in their battles against Superman so many times, but I don't remember any of these buildings..." He looks up at the nearest sign, "Saffron City Gym? I can't believe the people of Metropolis misspelled the name of their own city. Then again, if Perry White is considered a great journalist..." The doors of the Saffron City Gym slam open and two lab-coat wearing male psychics kick out a green-haired young woman who is wearing red clothing and black boots. The woman shouts, "You can't kick the great Sabrina out of her own Gym! It's time to play! Watch as I use my psychic powers to make your wieners fall off and balls explode and stuff like that! Gwa ha ha ha ha!" She stands tall and starts waving her gloved hands around in the air, but nothing happens, "Uhh, it's all in your minds." One of the male psychics, who has brown hair and a goatee, shakes his head at the raving lunatic, "You're lucky that we're just banning you from the Gym for life. If we had let you into Sabrina's chamber with that costume on... Well, I can't even fathom what she would have done to you, but it would have been much worse than what you threatened in your lousy imitation. I suggest you leave Saffron City before Sabrina decides to scan the minds of the people in the area. The moment she reads your mind, it'll be gone. Moreso." The two psychics head back into the Gym, slamming the doors on the fake Gym Leader. "Bwa... ha... ha... ha..." Luthor laughs maniacally at the spectacle he's just witnessed, "What a pathetic psychic. If idiotic humans treated Luthor like that, Luthor would show them who's boss with his *real* awesome psychic powers." Pseudo-Sabrina smiles when she hears the Slowpoke's voice, "It's you! It's really you!" She runs over to Luthor, picks him up off the ground as a mother would pick up her child, and hugs him close to her bosom, "Slowpoke #2! You came back! I knew there wasn't a Slowpoke in the world who could resist having a cos-playing Pokémaniac as his master. And look, you brought a Machop to me. Wow, you're the luckiest Slowpoke in the world. I think I'll call you Lucky, like the leprechaun!" Luthor pries himself away from the male Pokémaniac's fake female bosom, "Hey, wait a minute, you're that superhero who took my minions away from me! But I thought you were a tanned man with a horrible fashion sense..." On the only time Luthor had seen the Pokémaniac before this, the insane man was cos-playing the role of a different Gym Leader called Brock. The currently crossdressed Pokémaniac begins, "Well, Lucky, that's because I..." Before the Pokémaniac can explain cos-playing, Luthor comes to his own conclusion, "I've figured it out! Your true identity is Chameleon Boy, the shape-shifting super hero from the 30th century organization called the Legion of Superheroes. You faked your own death and went back in time to help Superman defeat me, didn't you, Chameleon Boy? Or should I say..." Luthor pauses for dramatic effect before revealing the Pokémaniac's secret identity, "...Reep Daggle of the planet Durla?!" The Pokémaniac shakes his head, "Wow, Lucky, being outside of a Pokeball has really screwed with your mind. Oh well, I can fix that." He sets Luthor down on the ground, reaches into his shirt, and pulls a Pokeball out of his brassiere, "Lucky, return!" The red beam that shoots out of the Pokeball hits Luthor on the head, but Luthor isn't sucked in by it. The Pokémaniac growls, "Darnit! The Pokeball doesn't recognize you as my Pokemon anymore. That's okay, I'll just have to weaken you and capture you again. Hmm, what's weak against Water and Psychic? Hey, I know! Grass and Bug... I have just the Pokemon." The Pokémaniac reaches into his shirt a second time, and this time produces a Pokeball that he throws to the ground, "Paras, go!" "Paaarrras?" The small red Paras that emerges doesn't look like a threat to anyone - not even a Slowpoke. Luthor looks up at the Pokémaniac and narrows his eyes, "First, his name is Parasite, not Paras, and second, none of my minions would dare attack me - not even Parasite, the most insane fiend this side of the universe!" "We'll see about that." The Pokémaniac points at Luthor and commands Parasite, "Paras, Stun Spore!" In order to avoid getting punished by his current master for not attacking his previous master and also to avoid getting punished by his previous master for obeying his current master, Parasite skitters away from Luthor and scatters a small cloud of Stun Spore that doesn't hit anyone. He then looks for a place to cower, but can't decide between behind the Pokémaniac's legs or behind Luthor. He gets dizzy from trying to choose the master that he should obey, wanting to please everyone at the same time, "Paaaraaas!" Luthor gets offended that Parasite even pretended to try to attack him and shouts, "Bane, murder them both!" Ten seconds later, when the Pokémaniac and Paras haven't been killed, Luthor looks behind him to see Bane sprawled on the pavement, panting and barely able to move - a reaction to the drugs that temporarily increased his strength earlier. Luthor murmurs something under his breath then says, "If you want to do something right..." He steps up to Parasite, who shrinks in fear, and after quite a few seconds, Luthor Head-butts Parasite, knocking out the weak Bug in one hit. After Parasite has fainted, Luthor looks up at the Pokémaniac who is dressed in Sabrina's clothing, "As you can see, Luthor's physical strength is just as amazing as his mental capabilities. Your measly shape-shifting powers are no match for..." Right in the middle of Luthor's taunts, the Pokémaniac grabs the sides of his head, screams, and suddenly disappears. A silent mental whisper, which Luthor can't hear over his own loud voice, declares, "Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery." "...the incredible, all-encompassing... Hey, where did Chameleon Boy go?" Luthor looks around but doesn't see anything new in the area that could be the "super hero" in disguise. "Curses! Chameleon Boy has escaped yet again. What a coward." Luthor walks up to his frail fainted Paras and says, "Perhaps now that I have defeated you myself, Parasite, you will gain newfound respect for my authority." He recalls Parasite into his Pokeball, recalls Bane into his Masterball, and places them in his backpack, "If only I could find someone to lead me to LexCorp. I'm sure Lex runs a hospital for henchmen." -Luthor