From: RobfromVoid <RobfromVoid@prodigy.net> Subject: [PW!] A Silly Birthday Party Date: Thursday, February 10, 2000 2:25 PM "Master? Wake up, master. A present has just arrived, presumably because today is the 39th anniversary of your date of birth." "To be a Pokemon Master is my... destiny! Huh?" Marvin sits up in his caravan's only bed and opens his eyes, awakening from a dream where he was participating in the Indigo League Tournament that he has been watching on television for more than two months now. Marvin looks at the purple Ditto on his lap, the owner of the voice that woke him up, "Oh, Xerox, I had the weirdest dream! And you were there, and Famifax was there... Hold on, did you just tell me that I have a present?!" "Indeed, master." Xerox states in a voice that doesn't express any particular emotion. She points a pseudopod at a giant white cake at the caravan's entrance. The cake is covered with green frosting and red cherries. It looks more like a Christmas leftover than a birthday cake. Xerox says, "I do not know who the birthday present is from, since it was already there when I awoke." Marvin giddily laughs at the sheer size of the cake, "I don't care who put it here, it looks great! I'm going to dig in right now!" He hops out of bed, puts on his red overcoat to match his white shirt and red pants, and runs over to the cake! Xerox slides down the side of the bed and calls out to the hungry 39 year old man, "Be careful, master! It might be toxic." Marvin takes a big bite of the cake and looks back at Xerox, "Hey! That never stopped me from eating that weird bouncy clay when I was a kid... what was it called again? Oh yeah, Silly Putty! The little nut-case it came in said 'non-toxic', but I couldn't resist eating it, especially when I used a machine to shape it into cheeseburgers, ice cream, and other yummy stuff! Mmm!" Marvin continues scarfing down the cake quietly, trying to not make much noise so that Bozo doesn't wake up to eat it all. "I said toxic, not non-toxic." Xerox sighs at Marvin's lack of caution, "Well, you haven't passed out yet. That is a good sign." Marvin laughs out loud at Xerox's abundance of caution, "Aww, c'mon, Xerox - Who in the world would want to kill me?!" * Meanwhile, in the Diet Coke Bottle From Hell: Evolved Form * >"Damn ATR!!!" Maria screamed. "If I ever get my hands ahold of the scum >who screwed up my head, they'll never recognize the remains!!!" >Dreadite blinked. "....." * Back in Marvin's Caravan * "Mmm-mmm!" Marvin exclaims, munching on the side of the cake with his mouth, "This cake tastes just like the one mama used to make for me!" He suddenly bites into something odd - a finger. Marvin lowers one eyebrow and pulls his lips away from the finger he bit, looking at it. The human finger has a long green fingernail on it. "What the?! Mama never put finger snacks in her cakes. I wonder what would happen if I pull on it..." Marvin pulls on the finger, bringing out a whole hand, all the fingernails colored green. He continues pulling, drawing out an attached arm which starts to wiggle around. Xerox realizes who the cake is a gift from and sticks her tongue out in disgust, "I feel like I am going to be ill." Marvin scratches his head, realizing that he hasn't put his top hat on and that his thinning brown and silver hair isn't combed. When he notices this, he frantically combs his hair to impress the young woman who is slowly working her way out of the cake. To match the right arm that Marvin pulled out, a left arm pops out of the other side of the huge cake. Both arms start moving up and down in some kind of sensual dance. While Marvin stares at the mysterious dancing arms, a long, smooth, bare female leg kicks out of the side of the cake, green frosting splattered all over it it from the wiggling toes to the quivering thigh. At this point, Marvin backs away, wondering if the woman who is working her way out of the cake is completely nude... Another leg kicks out of the cake, the momentum bringing out the woman's whole body! She is a tall, fair-skinned, stunning beauty, with long neon hair flowing down to her sparsely covered butt. The only thing she wears other than her smile is a small black brassiere which keeps her huge bosoms close together and black thong. One DD cup of the brassiere has a red "T" painted on it and the other cup has a red "R" painted on it, meaning that it's property of Team Rocket. The girl gyrates in ways not humanly possible, inching her frosting-covered body closer and closer Marvin while performing an erotic dance! Marvin's face gets covered in sweatdrops and he puts up his hands, telling the girl to move back. Instead, the woman presses herself on his hands and starts to undo Marvin's belt. He shakes his head and shouts, "Don't do this, Famifax! It's not right!" "Don't do whats, Marvy-man?" The high-pitched voice of Famifax asks from behind Marvin. Marvin turns his head and looks down at the ground to see Famifax in her pink Ditto form. "Wait a minute, if you're not..." He turns around again to look at the green-haired woman who is trying to unbuckle his pants, "Then who are...?" Xerox looks up at Marvin, her eyes squinted from the horrifying conclusion she just came to a moment ago, "It's Silly Putty." "GAHHHH!!!" Marvin throws the Silly woman back into the cake and runs over to his bed again. He hides under the covers and starts murmuring, "It's just a dream, it's just a dream, it's just a NIGHTMARE! Wake up, Marvin! Wake up now!" The Silly woman struggles to climb out of the cake, but eventually gives up and shrinks down into a green Ditto. Silly Putty crawls out of the leftover cake, oozes up to the bed where Marvin is hiding, and asks, "What's wrong, Marv? Didn't ya like my present? I thought you liked that kind of stuff. When Roxy told me about yer birthday, I just HAD to get ya something!" Marvin peeks out from behind the covers, and when he sees that Silly Putty is in Ditto form again, he throws off the sheets, stands up, and shouts downwards at Silly Putty, "No, I did NOT like your present! You're a Ditto, not a human being! What's worse is that you're a *male* Ditto! How could you even think that I'd want to get felt up by YOU? I'm not a... you know..." "Male, shmale." Silly Putty rolls his eyes at Marvin's excuse for not enjoying the show he put on, "All Ditto are neuter, anyway." Xerox sneaks up behind Silly Putty and shakes her head, "That is not entirely true. Although Ditto technically are 'neuter', since they have no genitals until they Transform into a different type of creature, genitals are not the only attribute that defines a male or a female. The mind of a Ditto is what determines their gender, depending on the way that they think. Males and females have different kinds of thought patterns and emotions. Other than Ditto who are unsure of their true self, confused by their lack of genitalia, most Ditto are quite certain of their role in Ditto society. I know for certain that I am a female Ditto." Marvin starts rubbing his cake-covered hands against a purple handkerchief he conjured up, "Even if Silly Putty *is* a girl Ditto, what he did is *still* disgusting. I'm not some sort of PokÚphile! Some way to start off my 39th birthday... 39th... 39th?!" Marvin suddenly realizes that he's grown another year older and he falls into his green bean bag chair to sulk, "I've been wasting the last two years of my life, going from town to town, performing magic... I'm almost 40, for crying out loud, and where am I? I'm in Viridian City getting groped by a male Ditto! There has to be something else out there for me..." "Uh, are you okay, Marv?" Silly Putty starts to head over towards Marvin, but Xerox stops him with one of her pseudopods. Xerox turns Silly Putty so that the green Ditto is facing her, "I don't think he wants your advice right now, Silly Putty." Marvin looks down sadly and twiddles his thumbs, "People don't even like my shows. I must be in the wrong line of work. People don't respect magicians at all... they respect doctors, Basketball players, and Pokemon Masters... Pokemon... Masters?" He looks up with his watery blue eyes, "That's it! I'd be dead by the time I'd have a Ph. D., I can't dribble anything but saliva, but I *can* command my Pokemon to get Badges! It's the surefire road to fame and success... The Indigo League Tournament might be over, but I've seen commercials for an Orange League, where I'd only need to collect 4 Badges! It's on a bunch of Islands, which is great, since I've always wanted to sail the seven seas on my very own steamboat!" Famifax's dot eyes show concern. She looks up at her master, "No more magics? Noway! Are ya serious, Marvy-man?" "No, I'm not Sirius, but I'll be twice as famous when I defeat the Orange Crew!" Marvin hops out of his bean bag chair, runs outside, and points his index finger towards the sky, "I want to be a Master, Pokemon! I have the skill to be number one!" Xerox glances through the open door of the caravan and declares, "...and thus my master's mid-life crisis kicks into high gear." -Marvin