Subject: [PW!] A Silly Birthday Party
Date: Thursday, February 10, 2000 2:25 PM
"Master? Wake up, master. A present has just arrived, presumably because
today is the 39th anniversary of your date of birth."
"To be a Pokemon Master is my... destiny! Huh?" Marvin sits up in his
caravan's only bed and opens his eyes, awakening from a dream where he
was participating in the Indigo League Tournament that he has been
watching on television for more than two months now. Marvin looks at the
purple Ditto on his lap, the owner of the voice that woke him up, "Oh,
Xerox, I had the weirdest dream! And you were there, and Famifax was
there... Hold on, did you just tell me that I have a present?!"
"Indeed, master." Xerox states in a voice that doesn't express any
particular emotion. She points a pseudopod at a giant white cake at the
caravan's entrance. The cake is covered with green frosting and red
cherries. It looks more like a Christmas leftover than a birthday cake.
Xerox says, "I do not know who the birthday present is from, since it
was already there when I awoke."
Marvin giddily laughs at the sheer size of the cake, "I don't care who
put it here, it looks great! I'm going to dig in right now!" He hops out
of bed, puts on his red overcoat to match his white shirt and red pants,
and runs over to the cake!
Xerox slides down the side of the bed and calls out to the hungry 39
year old man, "Be careful, master! It might be toxic."
Marvin takes a big bite of the cake and looks back at Xerox, "Hey! That
never stopped me from eating that weird bouncy clay when I was a kid...
what was it called again? Oh yeah, Silly Putty! The little nut-case it
came in said 'non-toxic', but I couldn't resist eating it, especially
when I used a machine to shape it into cheeseburgers, ice cream, and
other yummy stuff! Mmm!" Marvin continues scarfing down the cake
quietly, trying to not make much noise so that Bozo doesn't wake up to
eat it all.
"I said toxic, not non-toxic." Xerox sighs at Marvin's lack of caution,
"Well, you haven't passed out yet. That is a good sign."
Marvin laughs out loud at Xerox's abundance of caution, "Aww, c'mon,
Xerox - Who in the world would want to kill me?!"
* Meanwhile, in the Diet Coke Bottle From Hell: Evolved Form *
>"Damn ATR!!!" Maria screamed. "If I ever get my hands ahold of the
>who screwed up my head, they'll never recognize the remains!!!"
>Dreadite blinked. "....."
* Back in Marvin's Caravan *
"Mmm-mmm!" Marvin exclaims, munching on the side of the cake with his
mouth, "This cake tastes just like the one mama used to make for me!" He
suddenly bites into something odd - a finger. Marvin lowers one eyebrow
and pulls his lips away from the finger he bit, looking at it. The human
finger has a long green fingernail on it. "What the?! Mama never put
finger snacks in her cakes. I wonder what would happen if I pull on
it..." Marvin pulls on the finger, bringing out a whole hand, all the
fingernails colored green. He continues pulling, drawing out an attached
arm which starts to wiggle around.
Xerox realizes who the cake is a gift from and sticks her tongue out in
disgust, "I feel like I am going to be ill."
Marvin scratches his head, realizing that he hasn't put his top hat on
and that his thinning brown and silver hair isn't combed. When he
notices this, he frantically combs his hair to impress the young woman
who is slowly working her way out of the cake.
To match the right arm that Marvin pulled out, a left arm pops out of
the other side of the huge cake. Both arms start moving up and down in
some kind of sensual dance. While Marvin stares at the mysterious
dancing arms, a long, smooth, bare female leg kicks out of the side of
the cake, green frosting splattered all over it it from the wiggling
toes to the quivering thigh.
At this point, Marvin backs away, wondering if the woman who is working
her way out of the cake is completely nude...
Another leg kicks out of the cake, the momentum bringing out the woman's
whole body! She is a tall, fair-skinned, stunning beauty, with long neon
hair flowing down to her sparsely covered butt. The only thing she wears
other than her smile is a small black brassiere which keeps her huge
bosoms close together and black thong. One DD cup of the brassiere has a
red "T" painted on it and the other cup has a red "R" painted on it,
meaning that it's property of Team Rocket. The girl gyrates in ways not
humanly possible, inching her frosting-covered body closer and closer
Marvin while performing an erotic dance!
Marvin's face gets covered in sweatdrops and he puts up his hands,
telling the girl to move back. Instead, the woman presses herself on his
hands and starts to undo Marvin's belt. He shakes his head and shouts,
"Don't do this, Famifax! It's not right!"
"Don't do whats, Marvy-man?" The high-pitched voice of Famifax asks from
Marvin turns his head and looks down at the ground to see Famifax in her
pink Ditto form. "Wait a minute, if you're not..." He turns around again
to look at the green-haired woman who is trying to unbuckle his pants,
"Then who are...?"
Xerox looks up at Marvin, her eyes squinted from the horrifying
conclusion she just came to a moment ago, "It's Silly Putty."
"GAHHHH!!!" Marvin throws the Silly woman back into the cake and runs
over to his bed again. He hides under the covers and starts murmuring,
"It's just a dream, it's just a dream, it's just a NIGHTMARE! Wake up,
Marvin! Wake up now!"
The Silly woman struggles to climb out of the cake, but eventually gives
up and shrinks down into a green Ditto. Silly Putty crawls out of the
leftover cake, oozes up to the bed where Marvin is hiding, and asks,
"What's wrong, Marv? Didn't ya like my present? I thought you liked that
kind of stuff. When Roxy told me about yer birthday, I just HAD to get
Marvin peeks out from behind the covers, and when he sees that Silly
Putty is in Ditto form again, he throws off the sheets, stands up, and
shouts downwards at Silly Putty, "No, I did NOT like your present!
You're a Ditto, not a human being! What's worse is that you're a *male*
Ditto! How could you even think that I'd want to get felt up by YOU? I'm
not a... you know..."
"Male, shmale." Silly Putty rolls his eyes at Marvin's excuse for not
enjoying the show he put on, "All Ditto are neuter, anyway."
Xerox sneaks up behind Silly Putty and shakes her head, "That is not
entirely true. Although Ditto technically are 'neuter', since they have
no genitals until they Transform into a different type of creature,
genitals are not the only attribute that defines a male or a female. The
mind of a Ditto is what determines their gender, depending on the way
that they think. Males and females have different kinds of thought
patterns and emotions. Other than Ditto who are unsure of their true
self, confused by their lack of genitalia, most Ditto are quite certain
of their role in Ditto society. I know for certain that I am a female
Marvin starts rubbing his cake-covered hands against a purple
handkerchief he conjured up, "Even if Silly Putty *is* a girl Ditto,
what he did is *still* disgusting. I'm not some sort of PokÚphile! Some
way to start off my 39th birthday... 39th... 39th?!" Marvin suddenly
realizes that he's grown another year older and he falls into his green
bean bag chair to sulk, "I've been wasting the last two years of my
life, going from town to town, performing magic... I'm almost 40, for
crying out loud, and where am I? I'm in Viridian City getting groped by
a male Ditto! There has to be something else out there for me..."
"Uh, are you okay, Marv?" Silly Putty starts to head over towards
Marvin, but Xerox stops him with one of her pseudopods.
Xerox turns Silly Putty so that the green Ditto is facing her, "I don't
think he wants your advice right now, Silly Putty."
Marvin looks down sadly and twiddles his thumbs, "People don't even like
my shows. I must be in the wrong line of work. People don't respect
magicians at all... they respect doctors, Basketball players, and
Pokemon Masters... Pokemon... Masters?" He looks up with his watery blue
eyes, "That's it! I'd be dead by the time I'd have a Ph. D., I can't
dribble anything but saliva, but I *can* command my Pokemon to get
Badges! It's the surefire road to fame and success... The Indigo League
Tournament might be over, but I've seen commercials for an Orange
League, where I'd only need to collect 4 Badges! It's on a bunch of
Islands, which is great, since I've always wanted to sail the seven seas
on my very own steamboat!"
Famifax's dot eyes show concern. She looks up at her master, "No more
magics? Noway! Are ya serious, Marvy-man?"
"No, I'm not Sirius, but I'll be twice as famous when I defeat the
Orange Crew!" Marvin hops out of his bean bag chair, runs outside, and
points his index finger towards the sky, "I want to be a Master,
Pokemon! I have the skill to be number one!"
Xerox glances through the open door of the caravan and declares, "...and
thus my master's mid-life crisis kicks into high gear."