From: RobfromVoid <> Subject: Re: [PW!] Anyone got any Pepto-Bismol? (ATTN: RobfromVoid) Date: Tuesday, February 29, 2000 8:00 PM Marco262 wrote: > Pardus motioned toward a brightly covered caravan parked at the side of > the road. Not caring whether it was a hotel or a bed of spikes, Darian > staggered over to what he saw as a wavering mosaic of colors. As long as > he had a place to lie down. > > Trying to keep his bodily functions in check, Darian knocked on the > door. The middle-aged man that answers Darian's knocking by opening the caravan's door is wearing an Ash Ketchum costume that's way too tight for him, complete with a backwards Indigo League hat on his head. He squints at the visitor, trying to place a name with a face, but only comes up with only an age, "Well, look who's here! It's the 1,5000 year old man! I never asked you this last time we met, but I thought about it after we parted ways in Cerulean City - are you in any way related to Mel Brooks?" Marvin laughs but Darian only makes heaving noises. The magician coughs, "Well, *I* thought it was clever." Pardus, Darian's Persian, steps into the caravan without receiving any indication of invitation. He sniffs the air once and the faint aroma of Ditto fills his feline nostrils, reminding him that this colorful caravan is indeed the one he rode on about a year ago. Xerox, the purple Ditto in the corner, looks up from the novel she's reading and immediately recognizes the Persian that is standing before her. She steps up to him and without doubt in her tone says, "Welcome back, Pardus. Where is Darian McCain, your master?" The Persian responds by raising one paw to the entrance where Marvin is still standing at. Xerox nods and heads towards the door, to see a sickly Darian passed out on the ground just outside the caravan, "Mr. McCain must have returned for more of Famifax's 'sweet loving', but by the look on his countenance, it seems that he has come to terms with how horribly disgusting it is to be romantically involved with a different species. It is about time *someone* shared my view." "Oh yeah!" Marvin exclaims, extending his fingers out to make the Victory sign in true Ash Ketchum style, "Now I remember Darian! He was my assistant during the Pewter City performance and Famifax fell in love with him when he sat on her while she was pretending to be a chair. I'm sure Famifax would love to help cure her old boyfriend!" Marvin runs into the clothing racks to inform the Britney Spearow look-a-like hiding there that, "Your true love has returned and needs your help!" Famifax, who is holding a Richie outfit on a hanger in her hand, looks a little muddled at Marvin's words, "My wha-sa-wha? I don't haves no twue luv, nuh-uh! Now tries on this costume an ya'll look juss like a Pokemon Master!" She hands the Richie costume to Marvin and continues to sort through the costumes she has, trying to find more outfits for Marvin, who has recently decided that he wants to become a Pokemon Master, "Isso hard ta decide! They're all sonice! Fersure!" "Does the name Darian McCain ring a bell?" Marvin asks, tossing the Richie costume to the side for the time being. Famifax pauses and stares at a white dress in the costume racks - the same white dress she wore when she first met the person that Marvin is talking about. After a moment of thoughtful silence, her eyes go wide, and she exclaims, "Daree-man! Thas was tha hunkalicious guy! He needs my helps, huh? Then I'm gonna help him up weeeal nice!" Famifax nods and runs out of the clothing racks. She sees Pardus using his teeth to drag in his fainted human companion. Famifax shrieks, "Hey, you mean ol' kitty cat, you leaves Daree-man alone! I'm gonna be the one ta totally cure his sicko-ness! Fersure!" Remembering the way that Famifax would fawn over his trainer, Pardus rolls his eyes and murmurs something in Persianese. He steps away from Darian and sits down next to the only bed in the caravan, his front legs crossed and his head resting on them. Famifax shrinks back down to the pink Ditto form that she rarely holds for too long and oozes up to Darian, who is sprawled on the floor, slowly regaining consciousness. She steps onto his chest and looks down at his woozy face with her black dot eyes, "Ohh, poor Daree-man! Ya looks weally bad an sick an stuff! Iss there anythin I can do ta make ya feel betta, hunkee?" Darian opens his eyes, which are strained from airsickness, and wheezes out, "Anyone got any Pepto-Bismol?" Famifax shakes her whole pink body in a negative response, thinks for a moment, then giggles, "Don't worry, Daree-man. I may no haves that kinda pink goo, but I gotsa much much betta kinda pink goo fer ya - iss called Famifax, an thass me!" Xerox, who is standing next to where Darian is lying down, rolls her eyes, "If this continues, I am the one who is going to be sick." The pink Ditto on Darian's chest sticks out her tongue at her sister, "Yer juss totally jealous cuz I gets all tha guys an you gets zero. So stop bein a crazee sis an mind yer own Beedrillswax!" Famifax looks down at Darian's queasy face again and gets an idea, "Who betta ta help ya than a nice healin lady?" Famifax closes her black eyes and Transforms. When she opens her blue eyes, she is a pale-skinned nurse that resembles one of the many Nurse Joys of the world, "An now, I needs ta gives ya a massage so that ya feels better!" Nurse Famifax, who is sitting on top of Darian's chest with her legs spread, turns Darian McCain around so that she's on his back, and starts to rub his shoulders in order to relax the stressed out individual. Famifax's massage continues and the pretend nurse branches out to different parts of Darian's anatomy. When Marvin comes out of the costume racks wearing a blue tuxedo and golden bow tie, he shouts, "FAMIFAX! Stop groping Darian's butt!" Xerox looks up at Marvin with a sarcastic expression on her face, "She spent a minute on his shoulders, a minute on his back, and she's been rubbing his buttocks for three minutes straight now. I am horribly disgusted, and yet I watch, strangely amused." Marvin scratches his head, which is missing his top hat revealing his thinning brown and silver hair, "Why didn't Darian's Persian stop her?" He looks over at Pardus, who just lazily shrugs in response to Marvin's inquiry. After the Nurse-Joy look-a-like that is Famifax steps away from Darian's rear end, Marvin helps the seemingly young man stand up. Marvin looks into his eyes and says, "It looks like you're feeling better. Do you remember me, Darian? Do you know what my name is?" Darian squints at Marvin and nods, scratching the back of his own head, "Uhh, that magician guy... Mavin the Magnificent?" "Actually, it's *Marvin*. JUST Marvin." Marvin motions to his lack of a top hat, "I'm not going to be Magnificent for a while." He leads Darian over to his green bean bag chair and lets his airsick visitor sink down into it while he explains his situation, "I realized that being a magician hasn't brought me the fame that I hoped it would and that the real road to fame involves becoming a Pokemon Master! I mean, I've never performed on TV, but just look at how they broadcast the League Games. Once I've become famous as a Pokemon Master, I can go back to performing magic shows - but for a TV audience instead. Then I can live in fear of exposition shows called 'The Secrets of the Weird Caravan Guy: Finally Revealed'! Now *that's* fame!" "Uh... huh?" Darian tries to soak in all that Marvin's telling him while simultaneously trying to hold back his lunch, "How?" Marvin smiles and conjures up a cloth map from thin air. He points to a large archipelago of islands at the lower end of the map, "These are the Orange Islands... I've seen commercials on TV for the Orange League that takes place here. Since the Indigo League Tournament is almost over, and since a show called 'Who Wants To Be... a Pokemon Master?' doesn't exist, I believe that this is my best chance to be the very best, like no one ever was. In fact, right now I'm going to head over to Pallet Port to buy a steamboat so I can sail at least one out of seven seas! Would you like to tag along? It's not too far from here..." Darian's decision isn't too difficult to make, since he can't exactly walk straight as of right now, "Sure. For old time's sake!" "It'll be fun having you as a passenger again for a while! Hey, Xerox..." Marvin starts, searching the caravan for his Ditto. Xerox is already heading towards the exit, "Do not worry, master, I anticipated your desire for me to be the one who Transforms into a Rapidash and pulls the caravan southward. I am certain that you figure that Famifax needs to spend 'quality time' with her 'true love', right? It would be a crime to separate them now. After all, they have yet to exchange bodily fluids." Xerox almost gags when she says that last part, as she heads out of the open door of the caravan, slamming it shut. Marvin reaches behind his back and sweatdrops at Darian who is still in his bean bag chair, "Oh, that Xerox - what a kidder!" -Marvin