From: RobfromVoid <RobfromVoid@prodigy.net> Subject: [PW!] Backpack Surprise Date: Tuesday, January 25, 2000 10:55 PM Blink. A naked Slowpoke who has just materialized out of nothingness opens his eyes to find himself in a quaint violet-walled Pokemon Center, "I do believe I have mastered my newest psychic power. In a mere nine Teleportations, I find myself in the place that the ridiculous wanna-be super hero human said he was taking my minions. Now, where is the local replicon?" Luthor is startled when he is hefted off the ground by the pale hands of the very person he was asking about - Nurse Joy. "Wow, you DO speak English. I thought that the Pokémaniac was pulling my leg." The cheerful nurse smiles as she stares into Luthor's mesmerizing wide eyes, "And you're a cute one, too! It's hard to believe that such a cute little Pokemon would put up such a fight. You have your master worried about you! When he came here and healed your friends, he told me that you might come along. You're going to have to stay right here until he comes back for you, Slowpoke #2!" Luthor's eyes narrow as Nurse Joy speaks, and ten seconds after she is finished with her excited little speech, Luthor has his own speech for her, "Infidel! One, Luthor does not have a master - Luthor is his own master. Two, Luthor has no friends - friends are for the weak; Luthor is all-powerful. Three, Luthor's name is Luthor, not Slowpoke #2. If you refer to Luthor as the fecal matter of his own species one more time, Luthor will be forced to snap your neck with his frightful powers." Nurse Joy blinks and sets Luthor down on her counter. She is solemn and speechless for a moment, before her carefree smile returns when she sees a small black backpack in the Lost and Found box underneath her counter, "Look, Slow... uh, Luthor, your mast... er, the Pokémaniac who says that you are his frien... um, Pokemon left you this backpack so that you'd know that I'm not lying. He asked me to give it to you." She pulls the backpack out and puts it in front of Luthor. Luthor grins at his backpack, the one the Pokémaniac stole from him. The Slowpoke struggles to open it with one of his paws, "Of course. Super heroes always have pity for the villains. I'm certain that all of my minion's prisons are within my backpack. Bwa... ha... ha... ha... Huh?!" Luthor stops when he finally manages to open the backpack. What he sees within surprises him to the point that his eyes grow wider than they usually are, "This... this cannot be. It is not possible." "What? What's inside?" Nurse Joy's curiosity leads her to look into the backpack. She sees nothing inside. "It's just empty." She looks up at the Slowpoke, whose jaw has dropped by this point. The nurse looks concerned, since it is her job to keep Pokemon healthy, and the expression on Luthor's face can't exactly be described as healthy, "Why are you so shocked?" "JUST empty?!" Luthor snarls at Nurse Joy's indifference, "Don't you understand the ramifications of this phenomenon, you ignoramus?! Backpacks can't be EMPTY. That concept is absurd. Backpacks are supposed to be bottomless pits where you can put anything and everything you own - whether it be a comic book or an intergalactic space ship! Yet the super hero who thinks that Luthor should be imprisoned has managed to empty my backpack. He has confiscated all my belongings..." After five seconds, Luthor gasps, "He took Luthor's Pokemon League application and Official Pewter City Pen!" Nurse Joy raises an eyebrow at Luthor, "You can just get another application here, though I doubt that they'd let..." Luthor simply ignores Nurse Joy and interrupts her, "Luthor must chase after this super hero to get back his pen. Fortunately, the thieving rogue foolishly revealed to Luthor where he was headed. Since Luthor's memory is infinitely more powerful than the greatest super computer in the universe, Luthor knows that the do-gooder is on the road to Safari City to earn a Marshmallow Badge so that 70 Pokemon will serenade him." Luthor glares at Nurse Joy, "Tell me where Safari City is." "If you mean the Safari Zone, you can just head southward and follow the signs." Nurse Joy furrows her brow, "Though I doubt that they give out Marshmallow Badges in the Safari Zone." She stops suddenly and wags and finger at Luthor, "But you're not leaving this place, anyway! Your master gave strict orders that you stay right here and wait for him to come back!" "Luthor already told you that he doesn't have a master! You *will* cooperate... or else..." A tiny purple sphere drops from the white tip of Luthor's tail. The Slowpoke pushes the button on the sphere and it enlarges into a Masterball. Luthor looks up at Nurse Joy, one paw ready to open the Masterball, "Be warned that the most powerful Pokemon ever created, other than Luthor of course, is trapped within this maximum security prison. Luthor will release Bane if you don't cooperate." When she sees the Masterball, Nurse Joy steps away from her counter with hands up in surrender. She's only seen a Pokeball like that one in the news once to keep a supposedly indestructible Pokemon under control, "Okay, you can leave, Mr. Luthor - just don't open that Pokeball." A few Chanseys run over to restrain Luthor, but Nurse Joy orders them to stop before they get close enough to put a straight jacket on him. The Chanseys all obey the Nurse since she usually knows best. Once Luthor has used telekinesis to strap his small black backpack back onto his back, he bites the Masterball, falls off the counter, and backs out of the Pokemon Center ever so slowly. Once outside in the deep purple fog, Luthor spits out his Masterball and pushes the button on it with his paw, releasing a black-spandex wearing, but relatively harmless, Machop. Bane stretches his small muscular arms out and speaks. The broken translator on the Machop's evolution suit translates every word Bane utters, albeit poorly, "Too long in ball. Me no like be in ball. Where go now, Luthor?" "We must head southward to Safari City!" Luthor points westward with one paw, convinced that the direction he is pointing in is actually south. The purple fog in Lavender Town blocks the Slowpoke's view of the sun, his only point of orientation. Bane's instincts, enhanced by the suit he wears, tell him that Luthor is pointing the wrong way, "Me no think..." "That's right, Bane, you don't think." Luthor nods, "That's why I'm the super villain and you're merely my minion." -Luthor