Subject: [PW!] Fun with Guns
Date: Friday, January 28, 2000 9:45 PM
A fat old man in a gray coat-and-tie business suit marches into the
Lobby of Saffron City's tallest structure, the Silph Co. building. The
man's old age can be best noted by the white beard on his face and white
hair on his head, partly concealed by a top hat. His attire makes the
fellow look like the epitome of capitalism. He approaches the front desk
with his briefcase in hand and grins flirtingly at the blonde female
receptionist, "Why, hello there, miss." The capitalist says in a deep
voice, "I do believe... I say, I do believe that I need to see one Dr.
Henry... could you tell me, I say could you tell me what floor he's on?"
The woman behind the counter, who absolutely adores men with money and
power, returns the flirting smile and says, "Sure, I'll find out right
now." As she types into her computer to search the many offices in the
building, she leans forward to show off her cleavage, visible due to her
very low cut blouse, "We hardly ever get men who are so handsome and
well educated as yourself, sir. Let me guess, you were born and raised
in Fuchsia City?" The woman winks at the man, who nods in return. Once
her search is complete, she says, "Dr. Henry's office is on the Ninth
Floor. The Pokemon Control Lab, room 904."
"Many thanks, miss. I do so greatly appreciate your helpfulness." The
man bows to her and high-pitched murmuring escapes from his belly. He
uses his free hand to rub his rather ample stomach area upon hearing
this, "I knew I shouldn't have eaten so many scrambled eggs this
morning..." The man chuckles, then heads over to the elevator. He pushes
the button and the elevator, which travels at incredible speed, goes
from the 10th floor to the Lobby in a few seconds. The well-dressed
gentleman steps into the elevator when it opens, pushes the button for
the ninth floor, and rubs his belly again, "Almost there."
Ping! The old man steps out of the elevator and approaches the closest
door, which just happens to be Room 904. He knocks on the door three
times and says in his deep voice, "Male Mr. Mimes, I say Male Mr. Mimes
Mate in the Morning."
The door opens up and a poorly-dressed ugly man who has a black beard
messy black hair narrows his dark eyes at the unknown visitor. The
scientist who wears camouflage under his lab coat blurts out, "Who the
hell are you?"
"Where are your manners, boy?" The old man shakes his head, "I cannot
believe you've forgotten about me already! Well, perhaps this'll, I say
perhaps this'll jog your memory..." The gentleman wraps his fingers
around Dr. Henry's neck, pulls the scientist's face up to his own, and
kisses him on the lips for a moment before releasing his neck,
simultaneously shoving Dr. Henry back into his Pokemon Control Lab. The
old man enters the lab too and shuts the door once inside.
Dr. Henry backs away from the intruder and spits out the old man's
saliva, "Yer a damn sick old guy, you know that, man?! If ya ever kiss
me like that again, don't be surprised when you wake up dead the next
mornin'. Who told you about this place?"
"Minax." The supposedly southern gentleman pulls off his fake white
beard and top hat with attached white wig to reveal that he isn't a
gentleman at all. She is actually a red haired, brown-eyed woman that
Dr. Henry does recognize - Minax. The female Rocket, still disguised
like a fat man from the neck down, chuckles at the surprised expression
on the corrupt scientist's disgusting face, "Don't worry, Henry, I'll
remember to never kiss you like that again, upon your request."
Dr. Henry crosses his arms and takes a step back to admire Minax's
ability to disguise herself, "Why did ya pick such an ugly disguise? I
mean, couldn't you have pretended to be one'a those business woman types
with their nylons and short skirts?"
"I would've picked an uglier disguise, but I couldn't find a Dr. Henry
mask, so I settled for this." Minax explains while taking off her gray
coat and undoing her dark blue tie, "I figured if that actress...
What'shername Goldeenburg could do it, so could I." Minax tears her
fancy white shirt open, releasing Omelette, the small Chansey that acted
as the ample belly. The Chansey toddler takes a deep breath and
stretches out her small limbs, happy to finally be out of concealment,
Dr. Henry licks his lips when he sees Minax's rubbery black top, the one
that keeps her large breasts in position. He stares at Minax's chest
while saying, "For some reason, they didn't look as appetizing when I
thought they were man-boobs."
"My eyes are up here, Henry." Minax removes the gloves that made her
beautiful manicured hands look like wrinkled old man hands and uses one
of the gloves to slap Henry on the face, "I didn't come here just so
that you could question your heterosexuality. I came here for a very
important reason. Omelette, this young Chansey here..." Minax places one
of her hands on Omelette's head, "...is frightened by my pistol's loud
gunshot. Her crying really bothers me, and instead of getting rid of the
Chansey or the gun, I'd like to just get rid of the loudness of my gun.
I'm talking about a silencer. Got one?"
"Well, I'd have to see the gun myself." Dr. Henry searches Minax's body
with his eyes, happy to have an excuse to ogle her.
"Here." Minax unties her plain brown belt and drops her gray male pants
revealing another belt concealed underneath which is tied around her
usual tight blue jeans. It is on this belt where Minax's three
Pokeballs, sheath with skinning knife, sack, and holster with gun is
located. Minax pulls her silver pistol out of its holster and hands it
to Dr. Henry. She walks over to a white desk in the room, shoves the
papers on it aside, and hefts herself onto it, expecting to wait a long
time for Henry's gun analysis.
Dr. Henry glances at the gun for a second, then looks up at Minax with a
smile, "Wow! It's a modern variation of the 45 caliber Colt 1911
Government model. I believe the ammo shot from this gun doesn't go
faster than the speed of sound, so it should be easy to add a silencer.
It would take me a while to make the silencer, though, so I'm going to
have to borrow the gun for a while. This pistol's a classic - it got us
through two World Wars! How did you get your hands on it?"
"Bradley from the gun shop got it for me before he went to jail." Minax
shrugs at Dr. Henry's hype, "I wasn't aware that it was a classic. I
don't know much about guns. The only thing I care about is the trigger's
location and where to point the barrel."
Dr. Henry chuckles at Minax's naivety about the weapon she often uses,
"Is it okay if I keep the gun for a few days? I'll let you borrow a
magnum or an illegal uzi you can use to defend yourself while I make the
silencer for your pistol."
"I don't need a different gun - I'm trying to *cut down* on loudness,
and I don't think it's too wise to put an illegal gun on my belt. You
can keep my pistol, but first there's something else I need to talk to
you about." Minax hops off of Henry's desk and approaches him. She pries
the pistol from his fingers so that he doesn't hold a weapon while she
scolds him, "Last time I visited you, it was about a Ditto problem. You
gave me a salt-filled Pokeball that I thought had resolved the problem,
but I recently found out that Doppler hadn't been killed by the
Pokeball, after all. Do you have any idea why that is so?"
"Salt-filled Pokeball...?" Dr. Henry narrows one eye, trying to
remember, "Oh yeah! After you left, I thought about it and realized that
the Ditto could turn into any inanimate object or steel object to avoid
the dosage of salt. Since that first idea, I've thought about many
possible ways to kill a Ditto, one of the few Pokemon I have trouble
with, but only one method has been proven to work on an actual Ditto.
It's a bullet filled with a fast-working Arbok venom, various salts, and
a certain liquid extracted from Psyduck cells that halts the Ditto's
ability to Transform. It is built in a contour that can penetrate the
Ditto's blob-like skin and it immediately explodes once inside the
Ditto. Quite expensive to make. I only have one such bullet."
Minax raises her eyebrow to show interest, "Really? I'm interested in
purchasing this bullet. Would it fit in my pistol?"
"Actually, no." Dr. Henry shakes his head, "Because of the bullet's
contour, a revolver is the only type of gun that can be used. A revolver
that looks like this." The mad scientist reaches for a silver revolver
casually placed on a nearby table. Though Henry keeps most of his guns
in his secret lab, he keeps this particular gun out where everyone can
see it since it isn't illegal unlike the majority of his weapons. He
offers the revolver to Minax, "You can use this while I put the silencer
on your pistol."
"This is a fun gun. I love Russian Roulette." Minax takes the revolver
and hands Dr. Henry her pistol. She opens the revolver's chamber and
spins to see that there is only one bullet in the gun, "Is this the
bullet that can kill a Ditto?"
Dr. Henry nods with a grin on his face, "What is it with your hatred for
Ditto, anyway? Did one kill your parents or something?"
"I wish." Minax sighs, recalling sad memories, "I don't have a problem
with most wild Ditto. There is this one Ditto, however, who I absolutely
hate. His name is Doppler. One year and a month ago, he attacked Celadon
City while I was in it. Celadon City was my home for my first five years
as a Rocket. Many of my Rocket friends died when he destroyed the city.
I really started to hate Pokemon after that, especially him. It was
after the Celadon Cataclysm that I became who I am today. I became
Minax. It wasn't enough for Doppler to create one Minax, however, he
wants to create a second Minax. Well, I don't intend on that happening
any time soon, so I have to go put an end to this evil Pokemon. How much
for the bullet?"
"I don't know, it's kinda one of a kind..." Dr. Henry begins, reaching
behind his back with his free hand.
Minax shuts the chamber on her revolver and slides it into her holster.
It fits inside just as well as her pistol. She opens up her sack and
removes a few coins of a large denomination. She places them on the
scientist's desk, "This should cover it."
"It sure does! Thanks!" Henry puts Minax's pistol on his desk after
counting the large sum of money, "I'll have the pistol's silencer done
in a week. I wish you good luck on your quest to kill that Ditto. Anyone
who hurts you deserves to be killed!"
Minax grins sadistically at the scientist, "I'll hold you up to that
comment." She pries Omelette away from a Rattata cage that the Chansey
was observing, gets back into her costume, and the same fat old
gentleman that entered Room 904 leaves Room 904. Thanks to the uncanny
ability to disguise herself which is a result of extensive Team Rocket
crossdress training, the security cameras scattered all over the Silph
Co. building have no record of Minax's visit.