From: Cat-Gonk <gjani@iinet.net.au> Subject: [PW!] I'm Too Sexy. Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2000 10:58 PM > Pipian spoke before the Persian could strike, "Perhaps we should move >on to the gym if Blizzard has any intention on obtaining, ahem, Moulneer or >whatever..." > > "It's Mjolnir, and don't you forget it..." > > "Uh, yeah." "Chu?" A small crowd was beginning to form around the Pokemon Pack. Samuraichu looked around nervously, as the murmuring, gasping mob slowly began to converge on the unlikely travelling group. His rodent senses picked up on the sounds of cameras being withdrawn from pockets, as well as clipboards. Flashbulbs started going off around him. As he turned to look at whatever the bright light was coming from, the crowd moved away from his line of sight. "I don't think he's noticed us yet!" whispered one of the swarming throng. "We'll just get in a bit closer!" "Hey? What's going on?" Orion felt himself get shoved away from the Pokemon Pack as the crowd began to reach fever pitch. The scratching of pencils filled the air, punctuated by the high-pitched whine of flashbulbs powering up. Who were these people? What were they doing? Why were they so intent on taking photos? Orion realised their purpose only too late... "It's the Pokemon Fan Club!" he shouted "Run for it guys!" Samuraichu felt hands touching his fur and stroking his tail. Blizzard, too weary from sleeping out on the concrete and still without breakfast, was too tired to put up much of a fight and went back to sleep. Keri made a break for it, and managed to escape to Orion's position where she leapt into his arms and bawled, terrified at the very thought of being violated by these monsters. Darwin launched into a Tackle attack, but found that he was trapped. A pair of small, feminine hands lifted him up off the ground and swung him around in the air. "You're so cute! Aren't you adorable!" Darwin's worst fears had been realised. He'd been caught. By a Lass. The very thought of having to wear hundreds of pink bows in his hair as well as having his fur cut and moussed like a prize Growlithe chilled him to the bone. Her vacant, bleary-eyed stare and idiotic grin was the last thing he saw before he collapsed in a heap. "Okay! One, two..." Samuraichu felt himself being lifted off the ground. Someone had taken his weapon, backpack and his Pokebelt away from him, and his assailants all wore thick, insulated gloves. Too close to aim, and his every limb held down, for all his physical bulk he was unable to do anything to resist without the aid of his morning coffee. ---------- "Rrraaaaaiiii...." Samuraichu awoke, to find himself seated infront of a brightly lit dressing table. Boxes and tins of brightly coloured powder were placed infront of him, as well as various brushes, atomisers and jars. One of them had to contain caffiene. Just one. Any one. The brown ones, perhaps. Maybe the red ones are nice. Oh look, there's more over here. The makeup artist tending to him returned from her lunchbreak, to find that the most exquisite specimen she had ever been asked to prepare for the Pokemon Fan Club was hastily devouring the entire building's stock of Maybellsprout beauty products. But wasn't he just the cutest thing ever? Looking up from his "meal", Samuraichu had hundreds of different shades of makeup plastered across his mouth. Wasn't he so adorable? She wanted to run up to him and give him a nice big hug, if it weren't for the fact that a few of the Raichu's ribs broke from the last hundred squeezes. "It's time for you to go on, sweetie! Just let me clean that mess up, and you'll be alright!" Samuraichu began to back away, the sparkle in his captor's eyes more horrifying to him then a Jynx using Flash. He could fight his way out, if only he had some coffee.... ---------- Darwin awoke, the bright neon pink walls of the room stinging his weary eyes. Quickly, he checked himself over. Nothing. No bow, no hairclips, no collar. He was devoid of any human influence. A Clefairy sat on top of a brightly-patterned bed, the quilt adorned with pink Pokemon. Maybe she could help, thought Darwin, if its vile "trainer" hasn't corrupted its free will. Leaping up, he looked over the fairy Pokemon. It seemed stunned and shocked, probably suffering from the same conditions he was. Bringing his paw up to rouse the Clefairy from its state of shock, the Pokemon fell over, revealing a price tag. $30, from any PokeMart. Now that he had a higher vantage point, Darwin surveyed his surroundings. The room was full of the stuffed toys. "This must be how humans train their young to enslave Pokemon", he thought. "And with the speed and efficiency of my capture, it must be working." Darwin psyched himself up, using a Focus Energy technique. Concentrating deeply, he activated another, more powerful ability, Double Team. His image dividing into a spray of coloured shards, the Eevee prepared to make his escape. <If I am just a target of opportunity,> he thought, <what they've done to Samuraichu must be truly horrifying. Even if he is a Pokemon "trainer", he is still a Pokemon, and I must rescue him.> As the door opened to reveal his captor, Darwin steeled his gaze and opened up with a Skull Bash. Powered up with Double Team and Focus Energy, he sent the Lass flying with such velocity that she punched a hole through the thin, cardboard wall behind her and flew into a tangle of lighting equipment in a room which looked like a photo shoot. Without a moment to lose, Darwin rushed through. ---------- <We have to go and save them!> cried Keri as Orion held her firmly in his grasp. <We can't just leave them with THOSE PEOPLE!!!> "It'll be alright! If we go in, they'll capture you for sure! Darwin and Samuraichu know how to fight better than any of us, but if they can't get out themselves then we haven't got a chance!" Blizzard was asleep, curled up on the lawn. ---------- Samuraichu was dragged into the studio by two toughs, weakened without cappucino. The makeup hid this very well, however, he just looked sleepy and thus, even cuter than before. "Okay!" said a man holding what looked like an expensive camera. "Just lay him down, and we'll take it from here." A crash was heard from the opposite end of the studio. A girl lay motionless on top of a pile of photographic equipment. There was a hole in the wall beside her, but that was masked by a curtain leaving Darwin's entrace unnoticed. "She probably just wanted to have a look, and tripped." said a man in a Pikachu t-shirt. "I'll go get her some help." Darwin watched with horror as the camera crew geared up for a photo shoot. This wasn't like anything he'd ever seen before. These people were going to exploit Samuraichu's looks for their own pleasure. <He was too weak to escape, so he must have been drugged,> thought the Eevee. <Humans get keep getting sicker and sicker each time I look at them.> A styrofoam cup sat on a desk alongside some other photographic equipment. Samuraichu had named all his Pokemon after types of coffee, thought Darwin, wait, maybe that was the key! He wasn't drugged, he'd been captured before breakfast and deprived of his backpack, thus losing his expresso maker! His image only a flicker of movement, Darwin leapt in and out of cover, slowly making his way towards the precious fluid. He had to be quick. The human in the French hat was focusing his camera. It was only a few steps away... <Samuraichu! Catch!> Darwin leapt up onto the table and knocked the cup into the air with a Headbutt. The contents still sealed inside by the lid, the brown nectar made its way straight to Samuraichu. With his last reserves of energy, the mouse Pokemon caught the cup with his tail and poured the contents down his throat. It was time. Wiping the thick, shining makeup off his face, Samuraichu drank the last of the coffee. Seven foot four of very, very angry Mouse glared at the fleeing members of the Pokemon Fan Club. Quickly scanning the area for his Pokebelt, Samuraichu fired a blast of electricity to knock it down from its hook. The impact released his Electrode, Jolt from her Pokeball. Quickly yelping an order in Pokespeak, Samuraichu picked up a telescopic light stand, broke the bulb off the end and the support off the other to form a makeshift pole weapon until he could find his halberd. <Thanks.> He guestured his appreciation to Darwin. <Where are we going?> <I don't know! The exit's got to be somewhere!> <We'll make a dash for it! That way! If we come to a wall, knock it over!> <Right!> Jolt remained behind as the two ran for the exit. Her orders were simple, Explode to cover their exit and make an escape through the roof. Besides, no-one would go looking for her, everyone else seemed to be Magnemite fans. ---------- "Rapidash's long, flowing mane is yet another reason why this Pokemon is my most favourite of all. It's soft, billowing flames gently caress those around it, and it can be styled in a variety of ways. My own personal favourite style is the..." The sleeping members of the Pokemon Fan Club board were awakened when two angry Pokemon broke through the back wall and stormed across the table. Samuraichu kicked three of the humans as he blitzed his way out, Darwin pausing to Skull Bash the chairman. Behind them, they could hear a seething mob of screaming fans chasing after them, each promising more and more revolting torments for the pair to endure such as manicures and fur styling. <They're gaining on us!> yelled Samuraichu as he picked up his halberd, the weapon lying propped against a passage wall. <We've got ten seconds before Jolt sends this place sky high!> Punching through the final wall, the pair were greeted with open skies, and the shapes of Orion and Keri in the distance. Throwing themselves flat to the cement, they braced themselves as the Pokemon Fan Club Headquaters exploded behind them. <A noble sacrifice,> said Darwin. <She'll be out soon,> said Samuraichu. <And with my Pokebelt as well.> And sure enough, through the clouds of thick, black smoke and fire, an Electrode hovered in mid air, a Pokebelt wrapped around its smooth, spherical body. TBC... -- ÇÃt-gôÑk®: NÔvê·Va£¡Às·§TârR ---------------------------- ¿Dº ¥õü ßè!iÈvë Ïn G¤dDì$h? Email: catgonk@hotmail.com IRC: Cat-Gonk AIM: CatGonk Other AIM Screenames: Simyn Gonk, CatGonkNoMiko, Sailor Gonk, ATR CatGonk, Doc Oddish, Mista Meeh, The Kitty Litter Box. http://catgonk.cjb.net/ - Other sites linked to from here. Azure Heights Pokemon Laboratory. http://www.cs.miami.edu/~jam/azure ------ Over 5000 posts to alt.games.nintendo.pokemon, and counting. -=|[Unknown AGNPer]|=- One Half of the Wigglytuff Warlords ------ Obligatory-End-Of-Sig-Quote: "I'm the reason they made the dress code," They figured I wasn't wild when I'm in my french clothes." - Mase, "Feel So Good" Oh well. All sigs end somewhere.