From: <lordlocke@my-deja.com> Subject: [PW!] Look Out! It's Coming! Run For Your Sanity! It's... Date: Thursday, February 24, 2000 10:46 AM A figure, dressed in a blue overcoat and brownish-red knickers, watched as the sun rose over the bow of his ship. The stormy seas seemed to calm before him as the sun changed the water from dark and murky to bright, blue, and glistening. "Today... is a good day to be a ship captain." *sigh* "Just not on this ship." As Captain Alexander Samuel Steven Hole, taking another swig of wiskey from the bottle he almost always kept nearby, headded back towards his cabin to make final preparations for the day, the sun rose high enough into the sky to reveal the lettering upon the side of the ship, revealing a name worthy of the ship, it's captain, and the crew that manned it... The Barely Floating Peice of Crap. A few moments later... "LAND HO!" Matey, the first mate, lowered his telescope. "Finally..." he added under his breath. The news of land was quickly noticed by the crew. "LAND? No way!" "We finally made it!" "Freedom, sweet freedom!" "I thought we'd never see land again!" "Hey, the ship didn't fall apart! Jones, you owe me a thousand bucks!" *grumble* "Damn it. I thought this ship falling apart and forcing us to swim to land was a sure-bet." "Frankly, so did I..." *WHAM* *WHAM* Captain Hole looked down upon the two who had wagered on the durability of his ship. "For your information, this ship has survived DOZENS of voyages!" "Parts of it, anyways." Matey made sure that he was quiet enough for Captain Hole not to hear. *SPLASH!* *SPLASH!* *SPLASH!* "MAN OVERBOARD! THREE OF 'EM!" Captain Hole and several crew members ran over to where the shiphands had fallen overboard. "It looks like they've decided they're close enough to land to make it there with less effort then trying to get back on the ship." "Um, captain, we're still about a good six hours from land." Captain Hole paled. "Um... they wanted the exersise?" One of the crewhands watched on in awe. "Lucky bastards. It looks like they're gonna actually get away." "Wish it was me." "Me too..." "Me three..." The rest of the crew looked at Captain Hole oddly. "Um, I mean, IS THIS MUTANY?" The entire crew stood straight at attention. "NO SIR!" "Good. I don't want to have to tack on another six months to any of your terms of service... or make ya walk the plank." "May I, sir?" "May you what?" Captain Hole looked quizzingly at the crewman who had spoken up. "May I walk the plank?" "NO!" For a moment, it seemed if Captain Hole had sprouted horns. The flaming breath was a nice touch as well. The crewman fled for a corner for the ship, cowering in fear. "Scary!" "Anyone ELSE wish to make it known that they'd rather risk death in the sea then continue to crew the ship?" Matey spoke up this time. "But Captain, I though you knew." "Knew what?" "EVERYONE would rather risk death at sea then continue service on this ship. They do NOT, however, wish to risk having their... "employment" upon the ship increased by any more than it is." "Oh. Quite right, Matey. Sorry." "No problem, Captain." Captain Hole turned his attention back towards the escaping crewmen. "Well, it looks like we're gonna need some replacements for them when we reach Vermillion City. Who's up for recruiting?" One crewman spoke up. "I'll get the gunny sacks!" Another one rose up. "I'll get the clubbin' sticks!" "I'll find some rope!" A third crewman also stood, eager to introduce others to his fate. Captain Hole bigsweatted. "Um... how about we just ask people if they'd like to join the crew?" Everyone else started laughing. "But Captain, once they find out WHAT ship they're manning, they'll run as if their lives depended on it." *Sigh* "Very well... how's our passanger doing?" "He'd underneath with the ship's bard." "Bard? I never knew we had a bard?" "Remember, the thief we picked up at Vermillion?" "Oh yeah... I thought we had him killed?" "Nah. It seems he has a nack for storytelling. Our passangers find him quite amusing." Inside the ship's mess-hall... *Poke* "Do something funny!" Demieo Locke shook his head. "Could you stop poking me, Mr. Haights?" "Call me Newton." "Fine. Newton, could you stop poking me?" "Do something funny!" *Sigh* "Fine." Demieo pulled out a cheese sandwich and began to eat. "What kind of cheese is that?" "Brie. Why?" "Brie... in a cheese sandwich... that's... FUNNY!" Newton Haights broke out in laughter. *Sigh* "I hate my life..." Demieo then turned his attention back to the parchment on the table. "'Mikey raised the Pokeball comtaining his first Pokemon high ovr his head...' Geez... writing bad stories for the entertainment of the crew, and entertaing annyoing passangers. I swear, if I ever get off this ship, I'll never steal again! In the meantime, though..." Demieo rifled through a rather-large wallet. "I'm sure Mr. Haights won't mind if I take some payment for my services." Demieo emptied the wallet of money, then put it back in the hystarical Newton's pocket. Satisfied with the job-well-done, Demieo took another bite of his sandwich. "Geez. Brie in a cheese sandwich. I wonder who hired this chef, anywho. It can't cook a decent meal to save it's life. The metallic tang isn't helping either." Demieo pulled out the end of a screw that was sticking out of the sandwich. "Figures." Meenwhile, the Magnamite that was known simply as Chef continued cooking the night's main course: Iron Nails in a Mercuric Sauce. Yum yum. Back on Deck... "Hey, where's our navigator?" Captain Hole didn't spot her among the crowd. "Currently working on the fastest course from Cinnibar to Vermillion, sir!" In the Chart Room... "JIGGLY!" Navi was so happy! All this paper to draw on! Connect the dots no less! Navi drew a wonderful series of swirls and bends going from dot V to dot C. How she loved this ship! Back on Deck... "That's what I was afraid of." Captain Hole continued to survey the crew. "Where's the Head of Security?" "She's sleeping off a hangover." "Why is that?" "She attempted to drink our passanger under the table, in order to conduct an, ahem, 'strip search.' Purely for security reasons, she says." "Uh huh..." Quarters of the Head of Security... "Uhhh..." A ravishing, late-teen, blond, over-developed female turned over in her well-fernished bed, clutching her head. "Stupid men don't know that they want... ME!" Venus D'Amore turned again. "I wonder how a passanger had built up a tolerance to liquor rivaling that of that drunkard among drunkards, Captain Hole." Back on Deck... Captain Hole quickly downed another gulp of wiskey, then sneezed. "Hmmph. Hope I'm not coming down with something. Either that, or someone's talkin' about me..." "Captain, maybe you should go see the doctor." Matey, for some reason, had a HUGE grin on his face as he said that. Captain Hole's face turned white with terror. "NO! That's ok!" Inside the Medical Office... "Aw, doc, could ya get me a band-aid? I skinned my knee when I fell!" *sputter* *sputter* *WHIRRRR!* "Doc? DOC!" "CHANCEY!" The Chancey in the doctor's coat raised the chainsaw over it's head... Back on Deck... again... "Did you hear that, Captain?" Matey looked a little worried. Captain Hole finished downing another swig of wiskey. "Hear what?" "Never mind." "Well, everyone make preparations for when we dock. We stay put for no more than a week!" A very unspirited "Aye Captain!" followed. A few hours later... Captain Hole then turned so he was facing the city, appearing nearly-dramatic. "We'll be at the Cinnibar docks for one week, and ONLY one week. Matey, take Venus D'Amore and those three and start recuiting new crewmen. Have Demieo Locke set up shop in front of the ship to get us potental passangers or cargo. Everyone else has leave for ONE WEEK! Remember, if you're late, you'll get yourself another three months aboard this ship. Try and run, and I WILL find you. I'll be in the liquor hold if anyone needs me." With that, Captain Hole dissapeared down inside the ship. Matey shook his head, then turned to the rest of the crew. "You heard the captain! Make best of this week! You never know when you'll see land again!" "Aye, Matey!" With that, everyone, save Matey, Venus, Demieo, and the three other recruiters left, as quickly as they could. However, none would leave town. While they all knew that Captain Hole possibly couldn't catch ALL of those that tried to leave, none of them wanted to risk getting caught and having to serve and ADDITIONAL three months on that floating hell-hole... The Barely Floating Peice of Crap. TBC? (OOC: Whadda ya guys think? Ya like? BTW, if you're in the Cinnibar area, wanna go for a ride somewhere, and don't mind if the trip takes a while, be sure to sign on with either Matey, Venus, or Demieo. They'd be GLAD to bring you along for the ride.) From your, friendly, demented, neighborhood LORDLOCKE Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.