From: Shimarisu
Subject: [PW!] Nisemon gets Caught
Date: Sunday, January 16, 2000 10:32 AM
"Nisemon gets Caught"
Nisemon felt awfully groggy. It seemed to have been a terribly long time
since the Ditto had any grip on reality, and the haziness that blocked
out any clarity of thought was akin to coming out of a long dream.
The Ditto opened its eyes, and stared up at the ceiling. "So that's it!"
thought Nisemon. I *am* coming out of a long dream! Slowly, Nisemon
raised a hand up into the light, where it was visible. The hand was
clean, perfectly manicured, free of any marks that might suggest that it
had been subjected to labour of any kind. And it was very white, the
sort of hand that might be covered up at all times. This person must
really like wearing gloves.
"Who am I?" wondered Nisemon. The form on the bed - for indeed it was a
bed, if a bit of a scruffy, smelly, dirty one - sat bolt upright. And in
front of the figure's eyes, a mirror was stuck to the wall. A poorly
made, plastic one - which offered a warped reflection if anything.
Nevertheless, Nisemon didn't care. "Mirror!" shouted the as yet
unidentified form. "Mirror!"
Nisemon heaved the human form forward, and tried to melodramitically
pull the plastic mirror off the wall, but it seemed to be bolted there
permanently. After a considerable about of time spent scratching the
sides, trying to lever it off, it occurred to Nisemon to actually stand
up properly and *look* in the thing. So the Ditto did. And there
displayed, in all his glory - or rather not so, as it was a really
poorly made mirror - was the bishounen, lavender haired member of Team
Rocket that Nisemon had up to this point been impersonating so well.
"Ohhhh." Said Nise-James, in realisation. "But I'm not James! I feel
crappy!" Nisemon suddenly looked down, and realised that 'James' was
still wearing Tracey's nerdy shorts and T-shirt. A thought materilised
in the Ditto's mind. It would be really funny to morph into somebody
else at this juncture, somebody who *really* wouldn't be seen dead in
these clothes - not even if his partner actually forced him into them.
Nisemon laughed, a manic, anime villian laugh - which was somehow tinged
with an edge of childish mirth, and looked into the mirror again to
behold the form that had already been taken on. "Bwahahahahaahaaaah!"
laughed Nisemon, pointing at Kiniro's face in the mirror. "I bet you
feel *really* silly now! This'll teach you!"
"Erm, could you keep it down in here?" a voice rang out from towards the
back of the room. "You're disturbing everyone."
"What?" Nise-Kiniro swung round, to behold Officer Jenny standing
behind the bars. Bars?
Officer Jenny looked perplexed. No, she looked downright astonished.
"H...how did you do that?" she stammered.
"How did I do what?"
She pointed a trembling finger. "The hair," she said. "How did you
change your hair so quickly?"
Nise-Kiniro facefaulted, fell off the bed, then righted himself in a
single frame of animation. "Are you crazy?" he asked, incredulous. A
*lot* had changed besides the hair. Kiniro was nothing like James, he
was not! There were the jet black eyes for a start. And the pained,
accusing expression. And the stature - Kiniro knew *exactly* what he was
about. If anything, Kiniro was the anti-James. And emaciated, miserable
Purple Girl was the anti... now hang on! Nisemon sniggered. Spun round.
"I get it now!" the Ditto laughed in Jenny's general direction. "I get
the joke!"
"Listen, Mr master-of-disguises," started Jenny, completely failing to
acknowledge that there was an entirely different person in the cell from
the one she'd previously beaten over the head, and dragged off to
prison. "Listen to me. Either you keep quiet, or I take you out of this
cell, which just so happens to be right next to my office, and put you
in one with another prisoner. And so help you if you do, you pervert,
because they'll no doubt tear you apart!"
"Eh?" Not for the first time in the Ditto's life, Nisemon was utterly
confused. "I'm a pervert? Why am I a pervert?"
"Are you completely INSANE?" raged Jenny. "Do you even *understand* why
you're in here?"
"No," answered Nisemon, truthfully.
"Well then, I'll tell you. Do you think it's *normal* to go
propositioning young children? Is this something you do every day?"
"Yes... and um, yes..." answered the bewildered Nisemon.
Jenny was utterly dumbfounded. She staggered back a couple of steps,
before falling backwards. She sat up, to face the abomination before
her. This was like nothing she'd ever had to deal with before...
"Do you mean him?" Nisemon pondered. "That kid in Pewter, the crazy
little one, who looked like he was itching for a Pokemon battle? The
really, really freaky one? I'd make a guess, he was at least 15. Do you
think I fancied him? Are you MAD? I was asking, did he fancy ME! I was
James at the time, who doesn't fancy James?"
"You were... what?" flustered Jenny."
"I was James. James. And anyway, what does it matter, propositioning
children. How do you know who are children and who are not? Everyone
looks about 14 years old, unless they have white hair I guess, or a
couple of lines to denote wrinkles." Nisemon pulled at Kiniro's face to
try to replicate the effect. It didn't work, so instead, he morphed into
Professor Oak. Right in front of Jenny. "I mean, how old are you?"
Nise-Oak continued. "You look... ooh, about 16. Old enough to be a
police officer? Is this world *completely* crazy? Or is that just me?"
"You... you, what ARE you?" Jenny continued to stammer.
"What am I?" Nisemon grinned, slipping into Mewtwo expressions. "I am
the truth. I am the genuine article. And you, human, are crazy." Slowly,
the form of Professor Oak moved to the front of the cell. Jenny twitched
nervously, trying to inch backwards on her behind, but there was a wall
in the way.
"Check these bars out," Nisemon gleefully continued. "Look at them. Just
look at them, woman! Are you daft? I mean, anyone can get through
these!" To demonstate, Nise Oak squeezed between two of the bars. And
got stuck halfway through. "Did I say anyone?" Nisemon blushed, trying
to compensate for the error. "Well, some people can." Without thinking,
the Ditto morphed into Murasaki, and quickly slid through. So quickly,
that Nisemon fell right on top of Jenny.
"Sorry about that, crazy woman. And bai-bai to you." Holding Tracey's
shorts up as was necessary, Nisemon scrambled to Murasaki's feet, and
ran towards a door marked 'Exit'. Before leaving, Nisemon indicated the
sign, and addressed Jenny one final time.
"Christ. How dumb can you be?"
And the confused Ditto, was, as bad writers say for want of a
descriptive passage, gone.
- Shimarisu
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.