From: Bandraptor (bandraptor@aol.com) Subject: [PW!] Airmed and Dangerous! Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2000-10-21 02:57:52 PST A big, red and yellow Arcanine lopes across the vast expanse of land that lies between Celadon and Fuchsia City. From a distance, it appears to be fairly confident in its abilities as a runner--and it is. It's its complete lack of knowledge about the mechanics of turning and braking that has it worried. This, coupled with the fact that it's heading straight towards a large concrete wall, explains the panicked look on its face. Nori, riding on the back of her Magmar-turned-Arcanine, leans in, and asks, "Can you stop without thinking about stopping?" Magmar considers this for a full tenth of a second, then shakes its head no. "Okay..." Nori twitches nervously, "Can you stop *while* thinking about stopping?" Magmar ponders this for a fourteenth of a second, then shakes its head even more vigorously no. Rubix pops up beside Nori, "Why don't you try the hand brake?" "Hand brake?" "Observe." Rubix plucks a Pokéball from Nori's belt, holds it out with his hand, and says, "Magtard, return!" Magmar disappears from beneath them, and they both go flying into the wall. The Wartortle groans, "Momentary...lapse...in judgement...due...to...lack...of sustenance..." At that moment, he is scooped up by a pair of ancient hands. A bearded old man with thick glasses and a white fedora stares down at him, and exclaims, "Why, if it isn't my grandson, Lex! How good of you to come here!" "Lex?!?" Rubix wriggles out of the old man's grasp, "Do I look like a Slowpoke to you?" Nori grumbles, "Yeah, you've got your Lexes crossed or something, old man. Though speaking of Lexus, I don't suppose you could give us a ride into FuchsiAAAHHHH!!!" She screams as the man embraces her, "Just what do you think you're doing?!?!" "Ah, Kimmy. You're here too?" The old man adjusts his glasses, "I'm so glad to see you two. I thought your mother said that you couldn't come to visit me any more, after that little 'incident' at Kabutops Park! Of course, now that you're here, I'll..." "Look." Nori backs away before the man can kiss her cheek, "I don't know who you think we are, but I've never seen you before in my life, and you certainly aren't my--" "...I'll have to inform Cookie of the change in number of dinner guests. I'll have him make all your favorites." "Granpa!" Nori glomps the old man. "I'll have a cheeseburger with extra pickles, an' onion rings, an' maybe a cherry coke to drink." "Pizza for me, thanks." Rubix thinks, "Oh, and some gum." "You shouldn't chew gum," Nori scolds, "it's bad for your teeth." Rubix balls a fist, "I know of something else that's bad for teeth..." "Oh, don't be silly," the old man smiles, as he herds the pair through a gate, and into the compound. The compound is lightly forested, like a park or a zoo, and near the front is a small building, which they enter. "Lex, you're lactose intolerant, and Kimmy, you've been a vegetarian for years. I'll just have Cookie whip you up some of his special Tofudebeet Surprise." "Oh, no...we wouldn't wanna trouble him..." Nori waves her hand in dismissal, "A cheeseburger's fine, really." "No trouble, no trouble," the man adjusts his spectacles again, "after all, you are my grandchildren. I wouldn't want anything but the best for you!" "...thanks..." Nori sighs, as the door to the building slams shut behind them. * * * A wiry young man with black hair and a white labcoat looks up from his dinner, and glances at the gentile who's sitting across from him, "Mr. Hammet, are you *sure* those are your grandchildren?" "Of course they are, Rose!" Hammet gestures to Nori and Rubix, who are fighting over the contents of Nori's plate, "What makes you think they aren't?" "Well, for starters, one of them's a Wartortle..." Hammet dips his fork into the jellowy mass in front of him, "Cookie, this Omastalamari tastes like tofu!" "Oma..?" Nori looks sick, "So that's why it feels like there's a rock in my stomach..." Rubix pushes the dish away, "Ever hear of gastroliths?" "Ahem," Rose gets to his feet, and addresses Hammet, "you know, of course, I didn't invite you here just for dinner. We need to discuss..." his eyes get a sinister gleam, "...the Cerberus Project." "Ah, yes, the Cerberus Project." Hammet stands as well, "I just love that zany aardvark. And his little friend...what was his name? The Tick. Did that upstart Vulpix Network ever get back to us on our idea for a movie?" Rose shakes his head in irritation, "First of all, that's Cerebus. Secondly, what you're thinking of is the Blair Jynx Project, and Vulpix didn't want it, so we unloaded it on some nobody producer for $2000. Thirdly," he points to Nori and Rubix, "this is a confidential matter, and I really don't feel comfortable discussing it in front of those two." "And we don't wanna hear about it!" Rubix snaps, "If you think we give a Raticate's ass about your aardvark, you've got another thing coming, Rosie-boy." Rose scowls, "That's Professor Rosencrantz to you, you rude Wartortle, and I should think my research would be of *great* concern to you. Mr. Hammet, when Silph Co, petitioned you for money eighteen months ago, we were concerned about our failing Pokéball technology. Captured Pokémon no longer exhibited the loyalty, the blind obedience they once did. The newer generations of Pokémon simply weren't as affected by the Pokéball's mind control as their ancestors once were. We endeavored to improve our technology, to make up for these *defects* that were surfacing in the Pokémon species. And thus, the Cerberus project was born." "Yes, yes, so you keep saying." Hammet taps his foot, "And just what have you done with my money? I agreed to fund you, thinking you were going to make a movie about Cerebus." "CERBERUS," Rose enunciates, "after the three-headed monster that resides in the bowels of hell. Three-headed monsters exist on earth as well, and they survive by developing a sort of pack mentality, which enables their three minds to function as one. Dugtrio is one such creature, Magneton is another. We passed those two up in favor of Dodrio for our experiments, because Doduo are common to this area." Hammet glares at him impatiently, "And..?" Rose sweatdrops, "Well, our study of Dodrio isn't quite complete. You see, when our first Doduo evolved, it gained a third head, which promptly began to dominate the other two. It rampaged, and killed all of the Doduo that were in the aviary with it...so all of our research is based on that one specimen. Unprofessional, perhaps, but our findings are really quite amazing! The brain of the third head seems to transmit a steady stream of electrical signals to the brains of the other two, literally forcing them to obey it. We've been able to trace these signals, and we've created a device that mimics the signals exactly. The device is harmless to humans, of course. It works on the same principle as Pokéball technology--the device is registered with a trainer ID, and any Pokémon wearing the device is forced to obey the trainer with that ID." "A device that controls the minds of Pokémon..." Hammet muses, "That's even better than a Cerebus movie! We can order the Pokémon to take their trainers to my park on Isla Navel! Rose, you're a genius!" "Thank you, sir." Rose bows humbly, "Your praise...andyourcontinuedfunding means everything to me. But the credit does not belong to me alone. Only a large chunk of it does. Would you like to meet the rest of my team?" "Of course, of course. Where are they?" "Follow me." Rose leads the group out of the dining hall, and into a cluttered laboratory. One wall of the laboratory is dominated by a large window, which overlooks an enclosed field; and standing in the middle of that field is a three headed bird with brown feathers. When it becomes aware of the group's presence, all three heads squawk in annoyance, and it charges towards the window--only to be violently deflected by a sharp electrical current. "Allow me to introduce Cerberus." Rose gestures to the bird, "No need to worry--we've taken plenty of precautions. The window is protected by a motion-activated electrical grid, detects anything within 5 feet. The walls of the aviary are steel-reinforced, and the top's fenced in with barbed wire." "The top?" Hammet boggles, "That thing can't fly, can it?" "Er...well...we taught it Fly." "Why?!?" Rose grins in embarrassment, "Well, it gets pretty boring around here on Friday nights, so me and the techies loaded that Dodrio up on TMs, and set it on the lab rejects for some colloseum action. It's quite good sport, you know. That thing is amazingly fierce..." "I can imagine!" Hammet shakes his head, "It was born a killer, and it looks like you've nurtured its feral instincts! Rose, what else have you done to that poor bird?" "Well..." Rose begins reluctantly, "Dodrio brains are ordinarily so small, they're difficult to study. We used selective breeding to create a Doduo whose cerebral cortex was approximately 300% larger than that of most Doduos." Hammet gasps in horror, "Was that really wise?" "In retrospect, no..." Rose purses his lips, "its heads were too big, and it was constantly falling over. We gave it a mercy killing." "Then why even bring it up?!?!" "No reason." Rose shrugs, "We also created a Weezing that spewed perfume instead of smog. Half of the techies have perfume allergies, so we ended up calling it 'Sneezing'..." "Um. Hi." Nori taps Hammet on the shoulder, "We're still here, ya know." "That's nice, dear." Hammet turns back to Rose, "Rose, tell me one thing. Is the mind control device in working order?" "Of course." The scientist walks over to one of the lab tables, and returns holding a small, golden headband. "This is only the prototype, of course, and a very tentative one at that. We intend to incorporate the completed version into our Pokéballs, creating a ball that not only catches Pokémon, but makes them loyal as well. But yes, the signals are programmed into this device, and we can easily copy them to make new models." Hammet nods in approval, "In that case, you have no more need of that feathered monstrosity. I want it destroyed at once, I don't like the way it's looking at us." "Hmm..." Rose strokes his chin, "And I don't like having to pay for that elaborate security system. Okay. Fortunately, I keep a Charizard in the aviary, as a means of population control. Did I tell you about our research on Charizards? We were able to teach one of them Rock Slide through breeding." Rose taps a few commands into a nearby computer, and within a few moments, a hatch opens near the top of the aviary, and an albino Charizard drops down to the field. It eyes the Dodrio from afar, and begins to inch towards it. Every few steps, it pauses, and glances in all directions, as if looking for something. Hammet frowns, "What's wrong with that thing? Why does it look so nervous?" "Charizard's a Fire-type. It must be uncomfortable with the concept of playing an Exeggutor," Rose chuckles. The Dodrio simply stands in the middle of the field, staring directly at the group inside the lab. The Charizard grows progressively closer, approaching from behind. It takes a deep breath, and is preparing to exhale a deadly Fire Blast attack, when the Dodrio narrows its eyes, and its entire body flickers from bottom to top, as if the bird itself is composed of flames. There's a flash of lightning, and a second Dodrio appears behind the Charizard; then a brief gust of wind, which leaves a third Dodrio in its wake. The three Dodrio lock eyes, then one turns to flames, another to electricity, the third to ice, and they converge on the white dragon. There's a massive explosion as the three elements collide; and the Charizard falls fainted to the ground. "What the..." Hammet gapes. "Look out!" Rose pushes Hammet to the ground, as the Charizard's body comes flying towards the window. Instants before hitting, the electrical grid kicks in, deflecting the hapless Charizard. The Charizard bounces towards the ground, but Cerberus appears behind it, and kicks it back into the grid. Once again it is deflected, and once again it is returned. The grid sparks a third time, and the Charizard is knocked aside, but this time, the lights in the complex dim around the time of the discharge. Rose's eyes grow wide, "It's activating the grid so frequently, the generators aren't getting time to recharge! It's trying to drain the power!" Cerberus kicks the Charizard one last time, and although the grid sparks slightly, the current produced isn't nearly enough to stop the two-hundred pound lizard from sailing into the window. CRASH! The Charizard crashes through the sheet of glass, and falls to the floor in a heap. The lights in the complex flicker, and die, leaving the dim sunlight from the aviary as the only form of illumination. There is a sound of glass being crunched beneath feet, and the two men look up to see the six-foot tall bird standing not more than a stone's throw away from them. Rose cautiously begins to crawl behind one of the tables, and motions for Hammet to follow him. Cerberus' left head sniffs at the air inside the lab, and it makes a face, obviously finding the smells of chemicals and computer equipment to be unpalatable. Tapping one of its feet in annoyance, it stalks over to the nearest table, and knocks it over, spilling papers onto the floor. It begins to rustle through these with its talons, seemingly amused by the swishing sound that the papers make when brushed against each other; and seeing an opportunity, Rose moves towards the door. Hammet reaches for his "grandchildren", and does likewise. They're about halfway through the doorway, when one of the Dodrio's heads shoots up, and screams, "DRIO!" "Run!" The group runs through the hallway, past the dining room, and out into the forest, with Cerberus hot on their heels. They pass the gated entryway, and Rose points to his left, "My car's parked about a mile and a half down that way! ...Damned employee parking lot..." "Fortunately," Hammet pants, exhausted after the 30 yard sprint, "I always double park." He gestures to a yellow taxi cab, sitting not too far away, and the group clambers inside. "Chauffeur, Saffron City, please." "What took ya so long?" the cab driver demands, "You said ya just had to run inside and grab your wallet!" "Never mind that!" Rose screams, "Just drive!" "All right, but the meter's been runnin'..." The cab driver pushes his seat back, and begins to drive away at a leisurely pace. Suddenly Cerberus leaps onto the hood of the cab, screeching in fury. The cabbie stops short, "What the hell is that thing?!?" He reaches across the passenger seat, pulls a pistol from the glove compartment, and fires three rounds through the windshield, into the bird's head. Cerberus doesn't speak, or even recoil in pain. It stares into the cab for a moment longer...then crackles with electricity, and vanishes. For a moment, everyone in the cab simply stares at the spot where Cerberus was standing, unable to make heads or tails of the situation. Finally, the cabby breaks the silence, "What the fu--" "A Substitute." Rose says quietly, "Cerberus created a Substitute as a decoy, to lure us away from the aviary. It probably escaped through the same hatch that the Charizard used to enter...it could be anywhere by now." "Well, the important thing is that we all escaped unharmed. Isn't that right, kids?" Hammet addresses the Pokédoll and the desk lamp that he dragged out of the building with him, "Now, just make sure you don't tell mommy about any of this, and there will be a special treat in store for you come Christmastime!" TBC... -Beth, of the ever changing sig.