From: Mushboom ( Subject: Re: [PW!] Call of the Tour Guide Newsgroups: Date: 2000-09-08 17:38:32 PST (OOC: Yes, I am still here, I'm just really busy but since it's the weekend I have time to do a PW! or two) Cade strut to the PokeCenter, spinning his pimp stick. He eyed the world map hanging outside of the large building. 'Hmm' he thought 'I could either go down to Viridian and then to Cinnabar then to Fuchsia or go through Mt. Moon and end up somewhere near Cerulean'. He scratched his head as his eyes scanned the map for Celadon, that's where he'd get his best chance at becoming a movie star. 'Lessee...If I head east from Viridian Forest I could probably trek through that uncharted area pretty quick'. Cade never did have the greatest common sense. Nevertheless, the self-proclaimed pimp made his decision and, making sure he had all his gear, he started strutting off toward Viridian Forest. Soon enough he came to the bug infested forest only to be halted by a youngster with a butterfly net. "Hey a******. I'll take you on, b****!" the unusually foul-mouthed Bug Catcher shouted. . "Um...sure," Cade reluctantly agreed, "2 Pokemon each." The kid didn't hesitate, "F***in' go, Weedle!" The small, horned bug appeared letting loose a string of Weedle-expletives. "Let's do it, Pimp Daddy," Cade said. The silver Pokeball on top of his pimp stick opened and released the pimped out Machop. "Okay, Pimp Slap! Now!" "Maaaa," Pimp Daddy reached back and delivered a strong blow to the Weedle with the palm of his hand, "CHOP!" The Weedle was sent reeling, causing its trainer to cuss loudly. "DAMMIT! FOR F***'S SAKE! WEEDLE RETURN, YOU SONOFAB****! GO CATERPIE! TACKLE OR I'LL KICK YOU A**!" The frightened caterpillar rushed towards Pimp Daddy, "Prreee!" It bounced harmlessly off the Machop's chest. Cade bigsweatted, "Um...Low Kick, Pimp Daddy." Obeying his trainer, Pimp Daddy punted the Caterpie into the bushes. "AGH! I F***IN' LOST!" the angry child stormed off, stopping briefly to retrieve his Caterpie. Cade arched an eyebrow but shrugged it off, returned Pimp Daddy and continued into the forest. After an hour or so Cade was thoroughly lost, no where near Viridian let alone Celadon. He checked out his surroundings, he was surrounded by foliage. He grinned as an idea came to him, "Go Skreech! Try and find out where we are!" The Zubat simply hovered and stared straight ahead. "What? What is it?" Cade followed her eyes, to his surprise right in front of him was a large tour bus. He bigsweatted, "Where the hell did that come from?" A portly man in a pith helmet shouted through a megaphone, "Come one, come all! Hellion City forest tours! See amazing back flipping Mankeys and tailed humans!" Several tourists in loud shirts with cameras hanging of their necks clambered onto the bus and it rumbled off into the forest. "Okay that was a little strange..." Cade recalled Skreech as he emerged from the forest to see a bustling city full of tourists and souvenir stands. "Wow, if this isn't Celadon then my name isn't Cade McNown!" Little did he realize, he was in a large crowd which spouted various replies, "You mean this is Celadon?! And here I thought I'd finally found Hellion City" "Cade McNown? The Chicago Bears' quarterback?" "This is Hellion you dumbass". Cade glanced around, "Oops, I guess I'm in Hellion City...Wherever that is..." He wandered through the tourist trap until he came to the docks. A line of gigantic, luxurious cruise ships floated in the water except for one ship which resembled a barely-floating piece of crap and, strangely enough, that was its name as well. He continued down the docks admiring the huge boats until he came upon a battle that was already in progress. >"Monk-chan, I guess it's up to you now." Neither Chansey nor Dow were >in any condition to fight. Both of their trainers sweatdropped, and >brought in new Pokemon. >"He's using his strongest, I'll do the same," thought Felix. "Cygnet, >I choose you!" Throwing Cygnet's Pokeball to the ground, he prepared >for the final round. A tailed boy, much shorter than Cade, was challenging another boy's Farfetch'd with his Mankey. He paused and noticed the rather attractive girl watching the match. 'Helloooo beautiful' Cade thought as a grin spread across his face. He spun his pimp stick and fixed his hat as he made his way to the girl. Mara looked up at the pimp wannabe, "May I help you?" "Yeah, I lost my number can I have yours?" Cade winked and smiled, knowing she could never resist his amazing charm. CAN MARA RESIST CADE'S AMAZING CHARM? WILL CADE EVER LEARN ANY BETTER PICKUP LINES? TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT, SAME PW! TIME, SAME PW! CHANNEL!!!! -Mushboom, yes, Saber STILL hates me