From: Newton P. Haights (newhaights@aol.comanyte) Subject: Re: [PW!] Call of the Tour Guide Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2000-09-14 16:26:23 PST > A tailed boy, much shorter than Cade, was challenging another boy's > Farfetch'd with his Mankey. He paused and noticed the rather attractive > girl watching the match. 'Helloooo beautiful' Cade thought as a grin > spread across his face. He spun his pimp stick and fixed his hat as he > made his way to the girl. > > Mara looked up at the pimp wannabe, "May I help you?" > > "Yeah, I lost my number can I have yours?" Cade winked and smiled, > knowing she could never resist his amazing charm. "What...did you just say?" Mara said, clenched teeth. Cade, of course, was completely oblivious. "My, that uniform looks tight. Mind telling me how one gets into it?" Slightly oblivious, Andrew piped up, "Calm down, Mara, don't let him get to you, just ignore him..." "Don't tell me you're on his side!" "I'm not saying that, he's just not worth the energy." "...you're right." He turned to Cade. "It's a 'gi,' not a 'uniform.' And..." She counted to 10, muscles still tense. "...I don't appreciate you using that type of conversation with me." "Whoah, girly likes the rough stuff. That's cool with me..." There went the anger-management. "I'm warning you, 'buddy,' you do NOT want to mess with me.'" "Mara...calm down..." "SHUT UP, Andrew." "...eep." "Last chance, girl. You can let me be your sugar daddy...ore are you not woman enough for such a manly man as myself?" Cade grinned obliviously. *bam bam twist twist twist scream pain twist tie bam bam bam* Andrew winced. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone twisted like a pretzel before." "Looks like this here 'sugar daddy' needs some salt instead." Mara said before he punted Cade clear into the next town... ...or rather, towards... **The BFPOC "travel agency..."** > "Damnit Venus, where were YOU? I left you to tend to the desk while > I went and got us something to eat!" As Venus D'Amore, the ship's > security officer, walked over to her seat, Dirkas Locke, ...a wandering ditto, posing as Demieo Locke... > the > entertainment coordinater, was sitting behind a table, holding a pair of > sandwiches, and the look on his face was one that suggested that he'd > like nothing better then to watch his 'partner' choke on one of them. <snip> > "It happened last week! And the week before! Face it, anyone would > have to be CRAZY to willingly board this ship. You and I wouldn't be > here if the Captain didn't have blackmail on us." > > "I guess you're right..." Dirkas grumbled to himself and began to > chow down on his sandwich. "At least Newton's too busy with Chef to > bother me right now..." ...aaaaAAAAHHHHH! *whump* Cade hit the ground...right in front of the table. He got up a bit dazedly. "Heh, *her* loss." Upon seeing the beautiful... Er, the buxom... Er, upon seeing Venus at the table, he sprang to his feet. "Well, hel-lo . . . what's a beautiful girl like you doing in a town like this?" Venus gasped. This was the first time *Venus* had ever been the target of a cheesy pickup line. Well there was that one time, but...but that was a long time ago, at a port far, far away...by some odd little boy with pointy hair and squinty eyes...those eyes unnerved her to no end. How anyone could SEE with eyes always squinty like that... Anyway...nevermind all that. Venus and Cade sauntered off somewhere, let's leave them to their own devices. *ahem* Dirkas looked at the spot where Cade landed. He looked at the spot where the two left. He looked at the ship. He looked at his pseudopod hands. He looked at the paperwork on the desk. He grumbled. "That Demieo guy doesn't pay me enough for this." He wandered off looking for that cheapskate... *Back at the fight...* Andrew drifted off...for some reason, he got bored of the fight..."Huh?" He looked off into the near distance. Some man, about Gads' age, with blue pants, blue vest and a white shirt, looking all pirate-y like, melted into so much goo, then reformed. Andrew knew what this meant. He's finally gonna get a Ditto. *In the woods...* "No, I will NOT pay you extra." "Aww, come on..." "No." "Aww, screw you." Dirkas stormed off. "I never should have paid that ditto...can't follow a simple direction like 'answer to Demieo.'" Demieo trudged off to the ship. Surely by now they'd have figured out the switcheroo... **Back on the ship...** Captain Alexander S. S. Hole turned to Matey. "Have you seen our... er... travel agents ... lately?" Matey pondered. "You mean Venus D'Amore and Demieo Locke? No...must still be *laugh* trying to get someone on the ship." Alexander laughed as well. "And did you ever find out what he did with that ditto?" Matey shrugged. "Must have thrown it overboard. Haven't seen it." Somewhere, someone facefaulted. **Back in the woods...** "Let's see, the ship was ... here . . . " Demieo looked at a map of the surrounding area. Luckily, he bought the map IN Hellion Town, instead of asking Navi for one, so he could find his way around...barely. "...and that would mean I am . . . Oh wait, that's not right. I almost got confused by an upside down map, like that idiot I've been writing about..." He sighed. Suddenly... "Hey, you!" Demieo looked around. He saw nothing, and so he went back to the map. "I said, hey, you!" *smack* After extracting the Pokeball from his cranium, Demieo looked up again. He saw a kid in front of him. "What do you want?" "What do you THINK I want?" "Uh...it wouldn't be a trip on a (very prestigious) ship, would it be?" "Uh, no..." "Damn." "Let's try this again." The kid threw another ball at Demieo. It bounced off. "Hrrm...Maybe it needs weakening...that's what they all say...Snicker, go!" "Pika!" "Zap that Ditto!" "Pi, pika!" *Zap* "I AM NOT A DITTO!" "Sure you're not. Snicker, zap 'im again!" "Pi!" *zap* "Ow." "...hrrm. Try it again." "Pi." *zap* "Ow." "Pi." *zap* "Ow." "Pi." *zap* *thud* "Uh-oh, he fainted. Maybe Gads has a potion I can use..." **Back at the battle...** Andrew walked back to the pier, dragging a minorly scorched... "MINORLY?" Aren't you supposed to be unconscious? "Oh yeah." *faint* ...ok, majorly scorched Demieo Locke along with him. "Hey Gads, I got a fainted Ditto here..." "I'm kinda busy here..." "Just tell me if I can borrow a Revive." "Sure." Gads tossed a Revive to Andrew. Luckily, Demieo came to before Andrew could adminster the medicine. "Wha...where am I?" "I think you're on the Hellion Town pier." "Oh...who are you?" "Well, my name is Andrew O'Reilly." "Wha? Did you say 'O'Reilly?'" "Yeah." "Hrrm. Coincidence." Demieo regained full consciousness and looked forward. He looked at Andrew more closely... "Oh no..." He looked at Mara, who was still watching the battle. "Oh goddish no." He looked at the battle. "Don't let it be..." He looked at one combatant: a teenaged Mankey/human hybrid. "AAAAAAHHHHH!" Demieo ran off into the woods like a madman. "I wonder what that was about?" Andrew pondered. TBC...