From: Cat-Gonk (gjaniMPERATOR@iinet.net.au)
Subject: [PW!] Continuity Fix.
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
Date: 2000/04/11
(Author's note: This is what I do in English Lit...)
Viridian Forest, 120 kilometres north-east of Hellion Town.
"Galahad! Pin Missile!"
18th Annual Hive Games, Day Two.
Ducking out from behind a tree, Galahad cut through the forest canopy
with a hurricane of blasts from his stinger. The wickedly curved barb
held in his two needle-shaped hands like a biological rifle, the
Beedrill scanned the leafy foliage and the night sky above him for his
assailants. A red sash adorned his torso, marking him out as a fighter
from Hellion Hive.
Galahad was fighting in the "Outgunned" event. One Beedril would take
on two three-Pokemon teams, his power level equal to the combined
rating of his opponents. Whoever was alive by the end of the time
limit won. So far, he'd only claimed one kill and seconds were ticking
away.
Two green-sashed Beedrill zoomed past him, their initial charge merely
an attempt to confuse Galahad so that the second squad could attack
him unawares. Not falling for the ruse, Galahad caught the would-be
ambushers as they flew up from the cover of the forest floor, and
sprayed them with poisonous stingers. His aim was true, and two
assailants hit the ground. Surging forwards, he used his detached
stinger like a bayonet and rammed it through the torso of the second
squad's last member as it attempted to break away. Galahad's wings
carried him into the air, and he spun and fired, his shots carving
through a thick tree-trunk, felling it and revealing the reminder of
the first team.
buzzed a huge Beedrill to the young Felix
Charlesson beside him. Unlike most Beedrill hives, Hellion was ruled
over by a male of the species, Leon Charlesson's third Pokemon,
rightfully returned to the wild.
Two opponents left. Clipping his stinger back to his lower body,
Galahad extended his arms forward and fired the lance-like frontal
stingers at his enemies. The first caught one as it turned to draw a
bead on its foe, the sharp-pointed projectile impaling the Beedrill on
its length. Galahad's second shot narrowly missed, leaving one
shell-shocked opponent left who promptly turned tail and ran.
Galahad could win this by default. If he let his foe leave the arena,
the victory was his. However, the Beedrill's honour would not allow
such an action.
It would take too long for him to use Pin Missile, and without his
lances, close-combat was out of the question. Powering up Agility,
Galahad rushed full-pelt fowards, and rammed his body into one of
Viridian Forest's many trees. The impact was enough to topple the tall
trunk, it fell forwards, and crushed Galahad's cowardly foe under its
weight.
A strange form of insectoid applause filled the forest. Weedle squires
brought Galahad curative items, and carried their champion off the
battlefield to his proud trainer, Felix Charlesson.
[PW!] Continuity Fix.
By Cat-Gonk.
"Choose your image, sir."
In a dark chamber, four viewscreens appeared around a reclined chair
covered in arcane technological devices. One panel displayed the image
of a strange gold and blue suit of high-tech armour, Ancient Egyptian
in appearance. The second showed tattered clothing, though covered in
gold and jewellery. A teenage boy appeared in the third, and the
fourth was another suit of armour, though red, purple and yellow with
a heavy pistol holstered at the waste.
"Ancient Egyptian. South Seas can wait for the next forum I post in,"
said a voice. "Remind me again what the problem is."
A sound-wave display flickered into life. "In three hours, an NPC will
attempt to sabotage the Hive Games, an event occuring in one of your
posts. This will spark an all-out war between Hellion Town and
Viridian City, culminating in the destruction of both. As Viridian
City is a part of direct continuity, you will be removed of the powers
of authorship should this occur."
The computerised voice continued. "The NPC in question is a left-over
from "Rockets of the Stars and Moon", a post from Dryad a few months
ago. He is expendable. At the moment, he is attending a social event
in a nightclub inside the Celadon Underground."
"You are free to use whatever means necessary." A panel opened up in
one of the walls, a light from inside illuminating its contents. A
host of weapons, from shivs to shotguns, axes to autopistols and
brass-knuckles to bazookas lay inside. A six-barreled assault cannon,
a brace of pistols, a strange pepperbox-style handgun, three hand
grenades and a brutal-looking warhammer were picked from inside by
mechanical hands, and placed on an altar a few metres away.
"Are you ready, sir?" said the computer.
"Meeh. Let's go."
The MegaSound Chair in the centre of the chamber shuddered and jerked
as incredible energies were pumped into its adamantium frame. Sigils
glowed from the raw power of the process as its occupant entered a
world of pure imagination.
------
The hulking, powerful Beedrill dove to the forest floor, narrowly
avoiding a salvo of Pin Missiles. His agile opponent moved too fast
for him to see, and the forest's echoes made any chance of hearing his
opponent impossible.
A lance slammed into Sir Damian's midsection. Another broke through
the silvered membranes of his wings. Five Pin Missiles fired from
point-blank range knocked him into the air, taking the last of his
energy. Hellion Hive's most powerful knight hit the ground,
unconscious.
"That guy's too fast for him," said Felix to his Beedrill as they sat
on the sidelines, watching the battle unfold on a video-wall. "From
what I've seen, if you hit the other guy first you'll win most of the
time."
------
Two thugs came out from inside the alley to greet the approaching
footsteps. One carried a lead pipe, the other a large butcher's knife.
It was a typical night in the back-alleys of Celadon, gangsters out on
the prowl for victims.
"Wot the 'ell?"
The didn't expect to see a man in ancient armour, carrying a heavy
multi-barreled weapon which sparkled brilliantly in the moonlight.
Slowly they backed away, weapons at the ready.
"Who are ya? Whadda ya want?"
The figure's advance continued, gun pointed unswervingly forward. Now
that he was closer, the thugs could pick out a pistol holster on the
both the figure's thighs and shoulders, as well as a large hammer hung
from the figure's back.
"Must be one of dose cosiplay gimps. Let's take 'im out."
The figure's helm retracted into his collar. It was a teenage boy,
with strangely feline features picked out in makeup, a fine sprinkling
of sparkling dust over his face. His dark green hair didn't move an
inch as he walked, though it did not appear to be gelled in place. He
wore a smile as his two opponents advanced, thinking of the cash
they'd get for his outfit at the pawn shop.
He lowered his gun, and extended a hand outwards as if to wave hello.
The man spoke two words in a mysterious, powerful voice which chilled
the two men to the bone.
"Aurora Beam."
A blast of purple energy shot from his open palm, slamming into the
pipe-wielding man's chest with a brilliant rainbow flash of light.
When the second gangster's vision was restored, he saw what was left
of the body as he shivered from the bitter cold of the attack. The
torso was missing, it was as if the remainder of the corpse was a shop
mannequin that someone had thoughtlessly disassembled and left in the
street, except this one was covered in frozen ichor and the head wore
a horrified expression on its rugged face. As the now terror-stricken
man turned his head to face forwards, he saw that the mysterious
golden man was right in front of him, laughing like a child who'd
understood his first knock-knock joke.
From nowhere, a klaxon sounded. "WARNING. WARNING. FAQ SPECIFICALLY
STATES THAT A PG-13 RATING BE PLACED ON ALL POSTS."
"Fifth Element was PG."
No aid came to those alone in the Celadon backstreets. Ironically, it
was something the pair of thugs usually relied on. As the man raised
his hand to fire another blast of energy, a strange scissor-esque
noise cut through the surrounding air as time momentarily accelerated.
(snip)
"Computer," spoke the mysterious man as he brushed the icicles of
frozen blood off his breastplace. "Change appearance to Normal."
"Yes sir," said an artificial voice as if from nowhere. The figure's
armour dematerialised into a sparkling cloud, swathing him in light.
As the energy dissipated, the man stood clothed in a greatcoat, light
olive trousers, black shirt and a pair of running shoes.
Two more thugs rounded the corner, possibly searching for the first
two. Withdrawing an autopistol from inside his coat, the figure opened
fire.
------
His name was Earp. Not the most original codename, but it was a damn
sight more preferable to Hopalong. A recent re-screening of Dragon
Ball Z had led to his appearance matching that of Zarbon, as his
author had not been able to think of a more original template for the
NPC. Clad in standard Rocket garb, like many of the others in The
Hole, he didn't stand out particularly well in the crowd.
He'd been working on a particularly cunning plan for the past few
days, and after having it approved by Boss Rocket, decided to take the
night off before
The party raged around him as The Hole's daily events kicked into
motion, yet he was not getting himself involved. Normally he'd have
lost himself in the pounding beats of his favourite song, Du Hassamu,
unlike many of the other hard-man NPC Rockets that seemed to frequent
this part of the city due to influxes of inexperienced writers. Of
course, Earp was completely unaware of his position as a pawn in a
massive, ongoing game of chess, and blamed his lack of jiggy on an
upset stomach, and the overly tough-looking Rockets seated around the
room as tryhards. Making his way through the crowd and climbing out of
the lowered platform comprising the dance floor, Earp settled for a
closer look at one of the podium dancers.
A man opened the door near the left corner of the room, and walked
down the stairs onto the dance floor. His head was bouncing
ever-so-slightly in time with the music. Odd, Earp hadn't seen him
before. As he stepped off the final step, a bright purple flash of
light surged through the room. No-one noticed, thinking that it was
part of the party.
Then someone noticed the man dressed as if part of a live-action
episode of "Mummies Alive" standing at the edge of the dance floor,
multi-barreled gun lowered into the crowd.
------
Kakuna detonated across the battleground as the Hellion side
retreated, laying down a pattern of covering fire. Thick streams of
sticky fluid cascaded through the air, trapping unfortunates in its
rapidly-solidifying embrace.
Weedle in hand, Galahad squeezed its tail and fired a Poison Sting
into the torso of an oncoming assailant, close enough to attack in
hand-to-hand. The hit momentarily stopped its advance, allowing
Galahad time to fire a single Pin Missile from his tail stinger
without dropping his biological weapon. Though weak, the single
needle-like stinger was enough to drop his foe to the ground, where
another Hellion Beedrill, Raged up for close-combat finished him off.
Viridian was going all-out, but had little in reserve. A minefield of
buried Kakuna detonated through their advance, cutting their numbers
in half. The Kakuna were an unlikely part of the Hellion Hive breeding
program, like the Sniper Weedle and other biological weapons, and were
paying off in battle.
------
All was chaos now. People scrambled up the ladders, clawing and
tearing at each other in an effort to be first out of the killing pit.
The only thing they suceeded in doing was increasing the panic and
ensuring that no-one made it out of The Hole alive.
Earp bolted, his proximity to the exits allowing for a quick escape.
The stereotypical tough-guy Rockets he'd noticed earlier attempted to
draw weapons, but were cut down in bolts of eerie purple fire which
impacted into their bodies with a flash of rainbow-coloured light and
a wave of intense cold.
The man with the gun saw the terror-stricken Rockets outside of the
pit attempt to escape, and ended the lives of all those stuck on the
dance floor with a single fragementation grenade. Bringing his weapon
to bear on those fleeing the nightclub, the mysterious Egyptian opened
fire, the stacatto beat of his assault cannon matching the pulse of
the music.
Ascending the stairs in two fear-enhanced jumps, Earp made it into the
relative safety of Rocket Game Corner, and quietly made his way to the
glass doors of the exit.
------
*CLICK*
*CLICK*
*CLICK*
"Bugger."
The man threw his weapon away with all the strength he could muster as
all six of the assault cannon's barrels jammed simultaneously.
Withdrawing the strange, multi-barreled pistol from his hip holster, a
mental command raised the laptop hung from his waist into a position
where he could reach the keys and see the monitor.
"Computer? Where is my target?"
The laptop's monitor displayed a map of Rocket Game Corner, with a
shining dot displaying the target's position. "There is an exit to
your left, sir."
------
Galahad took a direct hit to the shoulder, causing him to drop the
Weedle serving as his weapon. Using the bristles on his other forelimb
to wrench the protruding lance from his body, Galahad tossed it aside
and watch for his opponent.
It was the Knight that had downed Sir Damian. Galahad caught sight of
him too late, the Viridian Knight had already put Galahad in a
stranglehold and wrenched the life out of him in a twist of his
forelimbs before rejoining the failing Viridian assault.
The final round of the second day simulated a Dawn Raid, and so far,
Viridian was losing. Even with Galahad awaiting retrieval by his
squires or his trainer's Pokeball, Hellion would have no trouble
dispatching the remaining agressors.
------
The doors slid open as Earp hastily made his escape into the
brightly-lit Celadon Plaza, his Rocket uniform hidden under a
trenchcoat to mask him from passers-by.
For a moment, he turned around to take one last look behind him, just
to make sure if anyone was coming. Past the multicoloured gambling
machines, he somehow managed to catch sight of a man with dark green
hair coming out of the steps in the back of the casino.
Suddenly, time froze. He was back in Mount Moon, fighting a tall
Raichu and his seemingly-sentient comrades. He was seated at his desk
in the Diet Coke Bottle, drawing up the plans for the raid on Viridian
Forest's Hive Games. He was in The Hole, wondering where his rhythm
had left him. It felt like his entire life had flashed before his
eyes, but he could only remember three events from what should have
been an entire life stream. It was as if before that, he had not
existed at all.
"I'll just re-write you. You'll be fine."
Earp turned, and felt his body disintegrate as scything rounds from a
six-barreled shot-pistol turned the young Rocket into a fog of blood
and flesh. He felt his consciousness being released from his body and
taken to another plane, one which he seemed to know was not the end of
his existence. The last thing he saw was the man holding a pistol to
what was Earp's throat, and then all was black.
------
"Earp? Earp Greyling?"
"Huh?"
Earp awoke to unfamiliar surroundings. He didn't have a clue where he
was, looking down at his body, he was wearing a lab coat rather than
the clothes he was used to, what were the clothes he was used to? A
woman stood in front of him, and was trying to wake him up.
"Come on. It's your first day on the job."
------
Felix lay down in the grass, staring up at the night sky. He felt
relieved for some strange reason, like a crisis had been averted, but
he couldn't think of a reason. Maybe it was the tension surrounding
the Hive Games, now that Day Two was over, Hellion looked like they
might have a shot at taking victory in the third and final day.
Somewhere else, a man began work on his first job in Sliph Co., though
he couldn't seem to remember what he'd been doing for the past twenty
years of his life, or yesterday, for that matter.
And somewhere outside of the universe, a strangely feline man relaxed
in a bizzare chair that connected him to a digital universe, knowing
that he'd live to write another day.