From: Tech Weaver-ra, The Ever-Living! (theover-powerer@webtv.net) Subject: [PW] Doduo (Birdus Two-headus) Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2000/08/10 [Cue montage] Announcer: Last time, in Poke Wars! *Lt. Surge in impressive entrance pose, Smasher talking with Rush.* Smasher: We'll be going over to the local Gym to take the leader, Lt. Surge. Amber tells me he trains electric Pokemon and has a taste for rare creatures. *Pikatwo, Smasher's siamese-twin Pikachus, on Surge's desk* Amber: What about this Pikatwo you've been telling me about? *Surge's Surfing Pikachu, Pikat-shoo, washing Smasher and co. out of the gym* Smasher: What the flapping blue funt was that!? Amber: Just about any Pikachu can learn Surf, given proper training. *Smasher talking to Surge in his office* Smasher: Ever hear of a... Pikatwo? I may be willing to part with them for the Surfing Pikachu and a Thunderbadge. Surge: All right, you gotta deal. *Amber and Smasher walking down the street at sunset* Smasher: You're sure you don't want to come with me on my journey? Amber: I think I'll stick around here until the next League Games. We'll meet again. Smasher: Excellent! [Cue Intro Sequence] Smasher, "Smasher" Samson. He's a Modern Space-age Poke-trainer. From the Town of Lavender, He wants to make some history. Let's ride with his Poke-horde, With the courtesy of his skateboard. Smasher, "Smasher" Samson We'll have an extremmmmme ollllll' tiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmme! "Willllllmaaaaaaa!!!!" [cut to title screen] Pokemon Extreme! Today's Episode: Doduo (Birdus Two-headus) Written and Directed by Chet "Tech" Weaver. All was peaceful outside Diglett's Tunnel. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and cute little Caterpies were eating the tall, green grass. Everything was nice and sunny. Suddenly, the ground quaked. Caterpies dashed for cover as a trainer wearing a Marowak's skull helmet and a Clefairy on his shoulder, followed by a skateboarding Staryu and a Growlithe, bolted out of the tunnel like a Zubat out of a belfry. The tunnel suddenly erupted with dirt and angry Digletts and Dugtrios. "I knew that wasn't a good idea!" Smasher called out as they ran. "It was obviously wasn't a good idea! In fact, I even told you it wasn't a good idea!" "Then why in Goddish's name did you do it!?" Rush the bi-lingual Growlithe asked. "It seemed like a good idea," Smasher admitted. As fast as the four of them were, the mole Pokemon were faster. They were caught up in the wave of dirt and were carried all the way into town. The wave reared back as it approached a flooded aqueduct and tossed them in. The Digletts and Dugtrios, having done what they set out to do, turned around and went back to the tunnel. The four of them climbed out of the aqueduct and collasped on the sidewalk. "Is everyone okay?" Smasher asked. "Clefairy..." moaned Cliff the Clefairy. He rubbed his head as he got up. Shuriken the Staryu sat up and mimed knocking water out of his imaginary head. Rush stood up, shook the water off of him, and collasped again. "Aye carumba..." Rush moaned. "Ah, man," Smasher realized. "Fire and water don't mix, do they?" "I'm okay," the fire type coughed. "I'm just a bit tired, that's all... I'll be fine... OH! Ohhhhhh....! The pain, the pain...." Rush suddenly sprang to life as a pretty lady walked by. "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Smasher, Cliff and Shuriken collasped again. "Do do duo!" "Huh?" Smasher looked up and saw a familiar Doduo. Then again, all Doduos look the same to him. Little did he know that this Doduo was the only one that escaped after the riot in [PW] Port Pallet Panic! "Do do duo!" the Doduo began to dance. "Do do duo duo duo! Do do duo! Do do duoooooooooooooooooooo!" Smasher pulled out his Pokedex and scanned the creature, even though he's seen literally hundreds of them before. "Doduo," the Pokedex sputtered. "Birdus two-headus." "The Pokedex doesn't usually talk like that," Smasher said. "It must be water-logged or something." "Smasher," the Pokedex noted. "Trainerus Extremus." The Doduo sped off, leaving a trail of flames. A mob of policemen ran by after it. Smasher, now standing, leaned on a telephone pole wondering what that was a about. A hurried and apparently distracted man stapled a flyer to Smasher's face and continued down the street, stapling flyers to telephone poles. "Ow." Smasher said. Another person came up to Smasher and noticed the flyer stapled to Smasher's face. "Wanted, Doduo," the person read. Smasher thought he sounded familiar. "Wanted for vandalism, destruction of public and private property and causing general chaos. Very large reward." He ripped the flyer off Smasher's face. Smasher instantly recognized him. "Lasher," Smasher's Pokedex said. "Rivalis Obligatorus." "Ah, Smasher," Lasher said. "I didn't see you there." "You're not the only one," Smasher said, trying to remove the staple from his forehead. "So what brings you to Vermillion?" "About a million angry mole Pokemon. You?" "An upset Porygon that knows teleport. Looks like we're back to square one. I remember how it all began right here next to this very aqueduct in Vermillion City..." "It was in Lavender. That's where we grew up, moron." "I was merely testing you, you ignoramus! I figured all that blood you lost from that staple to the forehead may have damaged your brain, not that you have one worth speaking of." Smasher picked up Shuriken and looked into his reflective gem. His face was a crimson mask of blood. He began to feel a bit dizzy. "I'm going to the emergency room," Smasher said. "And when I return, I will be the one with the big reward for catching that Doduo!" "Not if I catch him first!" Lasher called out after him. "Team Rocket," Smasher's Pokedex spouted. "Villainous Intriplicus." Meanwhile, across town, three sinister individuals see a similar flyer. For no real reason, they pick up their instruments and begin playing. "Beatin' ya down wit' destructive force! Playin' on bass is Clyde, of course!" "Busting through firewalls with the greatest of ease, to Ian on keyboards code-cracking's a breeze!" "Brave men tremble when they hear me shreak! If you're up against Bon on vocals, you're up a creek!" "Team Rocket!" "Blasting off at the speed of light!" "Team Rocket!" "Playin' evil tunes every day and night!" "Team Rocket!" "Surrendah now or prepare ta fight!" "That's right!" "That's right, folks!" Ian said. "Team Rocket's Terror Trio is back!" "We're here to cause trouble and chew bubble gum," said Bon. "And we're-ah all outta bubble gum," added Clyde. The small group of children standing in front of them remained unimpressed. "Fahget it," Clyde said. "There's no impressin' some people. Let's jus' catch thaht Doduo an' collect thah bounty." "Let's do it!" Bon said. She put a hand on her hip and a finger in the air. "With Ian's brains, your brawn and my exceptional leadership ability, we'll snag that double-decker ostrich AND rob this city blind!" "Best action I've had all month," said Ian. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Where'd ya get the fireworks, Jeffe?" Rush asked. "My back pack," Smasher answered. "Hand me the duct tape." Within moments, Smasher had taped rockets to either side of his skateboard. He pulled out his Pokedex. A small light blinked on a circle. The light was moving about the circle quickly. "This way!" Smasher called. He led his Pokemon through the streets of Vermillion. He eventually stopped at a not-so-busy street and set down his skateboard. "The Doduo should be by here any second," Smasher said. He set down Cliff and picked up Shuriken. He then stepped on his skateboard. "Rush, when it zooms by, light the fuses on the rockets. I'll zoom after it with Shuriken, who'll use his ThunderWave attack to paralyze it! Then I'll snap it up and cash it in!" The Doduo suddenly rushes by. Rush lights the fuse and the skateboard goes rocketing after it. Smasher immediately falls backward and lands on his butt. He watches as his board flies off into the distance without him, then into the air where it explodes. "Y'know, maybe this wasn't such a good plan," Rush said. "Of course it is," insisted Smasher. "We just need a way to keep me on the board." "And a way to get off it before it blows up," added Rush. "One step at a time, Rush. Now, let's get my board back." Smasher's charred skateboard dropped on his head, knocking him down. "Okay, found it," Smasher said. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "This is my most brilliant plan ever, Deadite!" bragged Alan "Lasher" Sandstone. "Ghastly ghast?" Deadite asked. "Sure I'll explain it again," said Alan. "The Doduo will zoom down this street here, where it'll find this bowl of free birdseed. When it eats the seed, it will swallow the ball bearings hidden inside it. Once finished, the Doduo will continue on it's merry way until it reaches the giant electromagnet down the street manned by Rammstien. The Doduo will get caught by the electromagnet, then all we'll have to do is lock it down and get the pay out!" "Ghast! Ghastly ghast!" Deadite bobbed up and down playfully. "Excellent. I hear it coming. You become invisible. I'll hide in the trash can." They hid. The Doduo ran up and stopped at the bowl. Sure enough, one head ate the seed while the other kept watch. The double bird finished eating and dashed away. Alan popped out of the trash can with a walkie- talkie. "Activate the electromagnet, Rammstien!" Alan commanded into the walkie- talkie. Down the street, Rammstien the Seel grabbed the electromagnet's lever with his mouth and pulled. The machine roared to life. At first, metallic objects in the street began to shake. Then coins started flying into the electromagnet, followed by garbage cans, bicycles, cars and signposts. Even objects from inside buildings began to be drawn to the machine. The Doduo watched this with intrest. After a while it got bored and zoomed off to find something else to do. "What in bloody..." Alan started. The garbage can's lid flew off his head towards the magnet. Then he noticed the can he was in was shaking. "Oh, cra-" Alan was soon flying towards the electromagnet himself. "Turn off the magnet!" Alan shouted into the walkie-talkie. "Turn it off! Turn it off!" Rammstien took a moment to consider this command. He tried pulling on the lever some more, but nothing happened. He tried pushing it, but it wouldn't budge. As his master's commands got more and more panicky, Rammstien backed up and headbutted the lever. The machine's roaring quieted as it powered down. Alan skidded to a stop beneath the magnet. He breathed a sigh of relief just before being buried beneath a pile of assorted metal objects. "Ohhhhh... Here's the ball bearings!" Alan said under the rubble. "They were in my pocket the whole time!" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "This isn't going to work," Ian said. "Yes it will," insisted Bon. "Now shut up and keep painting." "An' jus' wat are you supposed to beh doin' whyal we're-ah paintin' this 'ere wall?" Clyde asked. "I'm keeping a look out for cops," said Bon. "Ya mean lahk that won right behind you?" Clyde pointed out. "Yes, like this cop standing right here behind me," Bon answered. "And what are you supposed to do when a cop shows up?" the policeman asked. Before you could say, "You're all under arrest," the cop succumbed to Bon's Vulcan neck pinch and fell unconscious at her feet. "Now get back to work before I do the same to both of ya!" Bon threatened. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "A'ight," Smasher said as he finished duct-taping his feet to his skateboard. "Now we're stylin' on the right track!" "Yeah, but how're you supposed to get off the board before it explodes?" Rush asked. "Details, details," Smasher dismissed, picking up Shuriken. "Now light the fuses. It's coming!" The Doduo dashed by and Smasher rocketed after it. The Doduo turned and Smasher kept going straight forward. In an attempt to turn around, Smasher wrapped an arm around a telephone pole. He spun wildly before being flung into and careening off of several objects like a pinball. Smasher found himself lost, dizzy and rocketing out of control. "THIS plan is definately going to work," Alan told Rammstein as Deadite laid wooden planks and iron girders across the end of an alleyway. It now closely resembled a railway crossing. "All right. Now, the Doduo should be here any second, so everybody hide!" Striped barracades came down, red lights flashed, bells rang and Alan and his Pokemon hid. The Doduo stopped at the barrier, apparently waiting for the train to pass. Alan leapt out with Poke Ball in hand. Smasher zoomed by on his rocketboard, slammed into Alan and took him with him. "We have to stop meeting like this," Smasher said. "People are starting to talk." "Very funny," Alan said. "Now stop this thing before we crash." "Would you believe that I don't know?" "I still say it won't work," Ian said. Bon gave him a neck pinch and added him to the pile of cops behind her. "Of course it'll work," Bon said. "The painting on this wall looks exactly like an empty street. The Doduo will see this street that it's never seen before and check it out. It will then slam right into this street because it's not really a street but a painting of a street painted on a wall! I'm brilliant! Laugh with me!" "I 'ate to interrupt yer laffin'," Clyde said, "But didn' you say earliah that we was usin' Ian's brains?" "Yeah. His brains, your brawn, and my leadership. So?" "But it seems to me that you were dimissing evahrything Ian said about yer plan, which, by thah way, ya got from a cartoon? Now thaht I think of it, it didn' work in thah cartoon eithah. I mean, wot were yah thinkin' lass?" Clyde soon lay at Bon's feet, unconscious. "I shouldn't've done that," Bon said. "Now who's going to move all these bodies?" Manuvering around the pile of unconscious cops and Ian, the Doduo zoomed past Bon and down the painted street before her. "What the..." stammered Bon. "How did... Did you see... That was... Huh!?" Bon took a closer look at the wall. She ran her hands over it. It was solid. Just paint on stone. "But how..." Bon tried again. "That's just... How could... What was... I don't... My head hurts..." Smasher and Alan plowed through the pile of cops and Ian and slammed into the wall. Alan squeezed his way out from between the wall and Smasher and prepared to make a break for it. "You might want to run," he told Bon before dashing down the street. "Painting..." squeaked Bon. "...Run past... Slam into... with the... Run?" Rush, wearing Smasher's back pack and carrying Cliff on his back, dashed down the streets in search of his lost trainer. "Aw, man," lamented Rush. "Where is he? We have to find him before his skateboard..." An explosion a few blocks away suddenly caught their attention. Looking towards the explosion, Cliff and Rush saw a pile of policemen, Smasher, and Team Rocket fly into the air. "Note to self," Bon said into her mini-recorder. "When Ian and Clyde wake up, come up with a catch phrase more original than 'Team Rocket's blasting off agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn!!!'" [Ding!] "Holy frijoles!" Rush exclaimed. "We better catch up with him! Last time someone was flung into the air like that... well, you know what happened." Cliff looked insulted. As he hung on to Rush as he charged through the streets, he couldn't help but wonder if he'll ever live that down. To be continued...