[PW] "Experimental Procedures," or "Chasing Amber"

From: Tech Weaver's Typing Monkey, Cheech (theover-powerer@webtv.net) Subject: [PW] "Experimental Procedures," or "Chasing Amber" Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2000/07/09 [Cue Montage] Announcer: Last time, in Pokemon Extreme! *Smasher sees Anime Convention Poster* Smasher: Oh, no! *Phone booth explodes, Smasher as Captain Anime-zing stands in a crater* Rush: Captain Anime-zing? *Smasher's Pokemon in the convention center, Captain Anime-zing running towards kiosk* Rush: We gotta find him before he buys something! *Proto Man (Shard) stealing Kyle's Pikachu* Anime-zing: That fiend, Proto Man... *Anime-zing charging at Shard* Anime-Zing: Have at ye, villain! *Shard getting away on Smirker* Shard: I don't think so, Captain Anime-noying! *Anime-zing talking with shopkeeper* Anime-zing: I'd like to buy that item! *Chronus the Geodude drops on Anime-zing, the girl dressed as Sailor Uranus recalls it* Rush: Thanks for helping us out, Uranus. "Uranus": Anytime. [Cut to set with white back drop. On a chair is a sign with the Pokemon Extreme logo on it. Smasher, in his normal clothes and Marowak- skull helmet, walks out.] Smasher: Okay, I know we're supposed to have, like, a uh, intro theme or something here, but we don't have one yet. But we're working on it, y'know, so we should have one next time or something. It'll be all cool and stuff, y'know? It'll have explosions and guns 'n stuff with this way cool rock music. Sheeyeah! Cool, huh? But until then, you'll just have to do without it, okay? So just sit back and enjoy the show, 'k? [Cut to title screen] Pokemon Extreme! Today' Episode: Experimental Procedures, or "Chasing Amber" Written and Directed by Chet "Tech" Weaver Smasher awoke to a headache. He felt like a boulder hit him. He opened his eyes to see a figure silhouetted by the lights behind her. "Are you all right?" she asked with a concerned voice. Smasher shut his eyes against the bright light. "Mom?" Smasher asked weakly. He didn't wait for a response. "Oh, I had the weirdest dream, Mom. There was this pimp, and he wanted me to pay him money, then there was this Anime Convention and I turned into Captain Anime-zing, and then there was this time machine and I went back in time thirty..." Smasher felt something on the covers that made him stop talking. Several somethings. Smasher's eyes sprung open. He saw the bed was covered with magna comics and assorted anime merchandise! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Laughing, a familiar-looking girl with short, blonde hair began to pick up the stuff on Smasher's bed and putting them in bags next to it. "I told you it wouldn't work, Rush," the girl said. "Wha... huh?" Smasher flubbed, flabbergasted. "What's going on? Where am I?" Rush the Growlithe stood with his paws on the bed and tried to stop laughing. "Ha ha," Rush laughed. "Y'see, we knocked you out to keep you from buying stuff at the anime convention and kept you sedated her at the Pokemon Center to keep you from going back. Then we, hee hee, we put all the stuff she bought at the convention, Ha ha ha ha, and PUT THEM ON YOUR BED!!!" Rush toppled onto the floor and rolled around, laughing his head off. "He said it would make you're hair grow," said the girl. "It just made them stand on end." "But why's my head hurt?" Smasher asked. He ran his hands through his hair. It was back to its original, non-exaggerated length. "That must've been from when Chronus hit you," the girl said. "Chronus?" "Yeah. My Geodude." A sudden revelation hit Smasher. "You're Sailor Uranus!" he exclaimed. "Yeah, but don't let it spread around," she said, putting the costume back in her bag. "And the name's Amber." [Spinning graphic] "So, Rush hit on you even though he thought you were a lesbian?" Smasher asked, cutting into his pancakes. "He thought I just hadn't met the right man yet," Amber said. "I guess he thought he was that man, though he did point out that he wasn't so much a man as he was a dog." "He may be man's best friend, but he must think he's God's gift to women," joked Smasher. Shuriken the Staryu stuffed some crepes into a metal cup while Cliff the Clefairy batted sausage links about his plate. "What's he doing?" Amber asked. "I think Cliff's making sure the sausage is dead," answered Smasher. "No, your Staryu." "Oh, Shuriken? Well, in the wild, starfish feed on clams by prying their shell open stuffing their stomachs into 'em so they can digest it outside their bodies. I suppose Staryu and Starmie eat the same way, but many places don't serve whole Shellders and Cloysters. So I carry around a metal cup so Shuriken can eat stuff." Shuriken finished stuffing crepes into the cup. He set the cup on the seat of the booth and draped himself over it. Cliff finally caught a sausage link off gaurd and dragged off the table. He munched on it mercilessly. "Animals are weird," Smasher commented. "So why were you dressed as Sailor Uranus?" "At the convention?" "Yeah." "Well, me and a friend were supposed to go as Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus, but she got sick and had to stay home. I came to Saffron because there was this thing she wanted from the convention, which, coincidently enough, was the same thing you were about to buy when Chronus clocked you. By the way, here's the gun you threatened me with." Amber pulled the "Secret-anatomic-sub-thermo-nuclear-ultimate- impressive-anime-ray-gun-of-death" from her pocket and pointed it at Smasher. Smasher quickly grabbed her hand and pointed it in a different direction. "Gah! Don't point that at me!" Smasher tried to not to draw attention to himself as he casually took the toy-like ray gun away. Amber was wide-eyed. "Does that thing actually work?" she asked. "I don't know," Smasher said. He put the gun into his back pack. "And I don't want to find out." Amber decided to change the subject. "So, what are you going to do now that the convention's over?" she asked, sipping her coffee. "I was out that long? Anyway, since I'm in Saffron, I thought I'd take on the local Gym Leader." "You don't wanna do that." "Why not?" "You're Pokemon aren't experienced enough to fight her." "C'mon, they're plenty-" Cliff struck the end of a fork resting on the edge of his plate. It launched a sausage into his face, knocking him over. He scampered up Smasher's back and hid behind his head. "I don't train this guy," Smasher explained. "He's just along for the ride." Rush limped over to their booth. "Rush! What happened?" Smasher exclaimed. "I got a splinter in my paw!" Rush cried, sobbing. He held up his paw, showing the splinter stuck in it. "It hurts! It hurts!" "Okay, give me your paw," Smasher said, pulling out his Swiss Army Knife. "Why?" Rush sniffed. "I'm going to remove the splinter." Smasher pulled a pair of tweezers from from the knife. "No! It'll hurt!" whined Rush. "It won't hurt." "Yes it will." "No it won't." "Yes it will." "It will! It'll hurt! It'll hurt! It'll hurt! It'll..." "There! I pulled the splinter out. You okay now?" Rush sniffed. "Yeah, I guess so." "Good." Smasher put his Swiss army knife back. "Hey, Amber. How 'bout giving me a kiss to make it better?" Rush puckered up. "I don't have to kiss him, do I?" asked Amber. "You don't, but you might hurt his feelings," Smasher answered. "So I won't beat the Saffron Gym Leader. Pratice makes perfect, right? I'll just keep fighting her 'till I beat her." "Trust me, you don't want to have to face off against Sabrina more than once, if at all." "Why not?" "'Cause she's a powerful psychic with powerful psychic-type Pokemon. She's spent her entire childhood training her psychic powers. She never even had any friends. She used to turn her opponents into toys when they lost and keep them in her toy chest forever." "She's that powerful?" "Yeah, but she doesn't do that anymore. She lightened up when Ash Ketchum gave her a Haunter. She'll still give you a horrific, other- worldly punishment for losing, though." "Ouch. How do you know this?" "I've challenged her before," she said sadly. "And lost." "What'd she do?" "I... It's personal. I don't want to talk about it." "Oh." They sat there, in the diner, eating silently for a moment. Shuriken finished "eating" his breakfast and put the cup back into Smasher's back pack. "I guess I'll be heading to the next city," Smasher finally said. "Come with me to Vermillion!" Amber suggested. "It's got a Pokemon Gym I'm pretty sure you can handle, and it's where me and my friend live, so I'm heading there anyway. The sooner I get out of here, the better. I don't want to risk meeting Sabrina again." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Aren't you going to ask how I put all that stuff in my back pack?" Amber asked as they walked down the forest path. "Nah, I can do that," Smasher said. He opened his back pack and pulled out a giant, camouflage-colored Furby. "Mootzy hungry," commented the Furby. "Where did you get that?" giggled Amber. "Got it at a carnival in Viridian City," Smasher said as he stuffed the Furby back into his back pack. "The Wiggling Brother's Traveling Circus." "Ever see their main event?" "Seen it? I was in it!" Smasher displayed the Silver Tornadobadge pinned to his fingerless glove. "Beat Hawk in a one-on-one battle last year." Amber showed him the Silver Tornadobadge pinned to the inside of her vest. "Beat Pidge in a three-on-one two years ago," she said. "I called him 'Kid'. How was I supposed to know he was a seventeen-year-old midget with issues?" "Wow, cool." "You went to a circus in Viridian City?" Rush asked. "Why didn't you bring me?" "Because you could only speak Spanish and you couldn't understand a word I said," answered Smasher. "I don't that's a valid excuse to... hey!" Rush got sucked back into his Pokeball. "He could only speak Spanish?" Amber asked. "I caught him that way," Smasher said as he started down the path again. "I'll have to ask him about that some day. Professor Oak suggested calling him a 'Luchador Retriever.'" "Wait, hold up!" "I'm not going to fast for yo-" Amber zoomed by on her rollerblades. "The King of Extreme, out-raced by a girl?" Smasher commented. "I don't think so! Shuriken, where's my skateboard?" As if on cue, the skateboard fell out of the sky and bounced off Smasher's Marowak-skull helmet. He picked up Cliff, hopped on his board, and took off after Amber. Shuriken followed closely on his own skateboard. "I'm not going to fast for you, am I?" Amber joked as Smasher pulled up along side her. "No way," Smasher said. "I'm just holdin' back so you won't have to cruise through here on your own." "Funny, I was going to tell you the same thing." Amber zoomed off down the path yet again, laughing. "Hey!" Smasher called, picking up speed. He caught up again and started skateboarding backwards. "So, you got a boyfriend?" Smasher inquired in what he thought was a casual manner. "Nah, you?" Smasher thought that was an odd question, but figured she meant girlfriend. "I'm not seeing anyone," he replied. "Would you consider going out with a fourteen-year-old skater with a Marowak-skull helmet?" "Maybe," Amber responded. "Would you consider ducking that branch?" "What?" Smasher's feet suddenly left his board. He hit the ground with enough momentum to bury his head in the dirt like an ostrich. Amber looked back and laughed at him. She tripped over a tree root and flew head-first into a bush. Smasher pulled his head out of the dirt with a little help from Cliff and Shuriken. They went over to help up Amber, but she was already standing. "Are you okay?" Smasher tried not to laugh. It wasn't at Amber's misfortune; He was actually enjoying himself. It isn't everyday you get driven into the ground like fence post. "Yeah, I'm fine," Amber was a bit out of breath. She pulled some twigs out of her hair. She gave a chuckle. "I guess we both should've kept our eyes on the road, huh?" "Yeah," Smasher picked up his skateboard, also a bit out of breath. "Why don't we walk the rest of the way?" Amber smiled. "Sure." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ It was a beautiful afternoon in Vermillion City. The birds were singing, the sun was reflecting beautifully off the harbor waters and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. What better to do on a day like this than convince Pokemon trainers to take part in a field study? Probably a lot of things, but Jack wasn't being paid to do any of those things. He could if he put his mind to it, but right now he had a job to do. At the moment, his job included convincing a skateboarder with a Marowak's skull on his head and a sixteen-year-old girl who bears a striking resemblance to one of the newest characters on Sailor Moon to take part in a field study. "So you're basically paying us to be lab rats, huh?" Smasher mused. "I prefer the term 'Guinea Pig,'" joked Jack. No one got it. Jack cleared his throat. "Yes. You'll both be matched up against two other trainers and then you'll fill out a short survey form. After the match, you'll each recieve twenty dollars, plus fifty more if you win." "Seventy dollars, huh?" considered Smasher. "It's not much, but I could use the money." "One-forty," corrected Amber. "You should have my share, too. From what Rush told me, you'll need as much money as you can get." "We'll do it," Smasher agreed. "Excellent," said Jack. "If you'll follow me, I'll explain the rules of the match on the way. You may want to decided which Pokemon you'll be using during the match." "Huh?" Jack led them into an office building nearby. He explained the rules further as he led them to the exact office. "So we'll only be using a total of six Pokemon from both our teams?" asked Smasher. "If you were to use a full twelve Pokemon during the match, it would probably take way too long," Jack informed. "Of course, this is just the playtesting phase. The final rules may change greatly. Your opponents are waiting behind this door, so if there are no further questions..." Jack opened the door. The "office" was much larger than it seemed from the outside. Large enough to house a full Pokemon-training court at least. The court was the same as any other: A large square with a circle in the middle. This court, however, had two trainer boxes on either side instead of the normal one. All the way across the court, the opposing trainer boxes were occupied by what Smasher saw as an unlikely pairing. "Lasher and Basil the AI?" noted Smasher. "You know these two?" Amber asked. "Lasher's my greatest rival," explained Smasher. "We've been against each other since our childhood in Lavender Town. The machine on the right is actually a talking Porygon that used to be owned by a scientist on Seafoam Island." "Hey, Smasher!" taunted Smasher's rebeliously-dressed rival. "Who's the chick?" "Yo, Lasher!" Smasher taunted back. "Who's your boyfriend?" "Quit callin' me..." "I take offense at that remark," droned Basil in a droning computer voice. "I find the very concept of inter-species mating quite repulsive. Further more, you should know very well who I am. And the fact that you think that I'm so below you that you wouldn't even acknowledge me directly..." Basil then made a sound that was probably supposed to choked-back sobbing. "Your jokes suck, Basil," said Lasher. "Quiet, DNA-bucket," droned Basil. "Now just sit there and look pretty as I win us some dough." "Excuse me!?" "You're intellect is inferior to my own. Complete control of our team by me will ensure victory by 99.99999901%." "Now, hold on!" "Are they always like this?" Amber asked. "Don't ask me," Smasher answered. "They were lone wolves last I checked. Hey, Lasher!" "I told you it's not-" "Why don't we make this interesting? A friendly wager, perhaps?" "Why? You buy a Victreebel from a pimp and now owe him more money than you could possibly make in one month, plus interest?" Smasher chose not to answer that question. "How much dinero are we talkin' here?" inquired Lasher. "How about... 75%?" offered Smasher. "Seventy-five of your wallet? You crazy." "Afraid you'll lose?" "No way! I'll even throw in Basil's money!" "I made no such agreement!" arguementively droned Basil. "No worries, circuit-case," said Lasher. "The match is in the bag! There's no way this Slowpoke can win!" "Rivals. Gotta love 'em," Smasher commented to Amber. "If everyone's ready," Jack interrupted, "I will be officiating this match. I've already explained the rules to both teams. Six Pokemon will be used by each team, and only one Pokemon from each team will be active at a time. Now, if there are no further questions... Let's get ready to rumble!" "Deadite! Go!" seized Lasher. The Ghastly that was hovering over his shoulder leapt into the fray. "Ladies first," offered Smasher. "Thank you," accepted Amber. She tossed in her first Poke Ball. "Chronus, go!" The Geodude appeared in a flash of light, ready for the first command. "Night Shade, Deadite!" "Chronus, Fire Blast!" Waves of darkness enveloped Chronus. The Geodude shook it off and let loose with its firey attack. Deadite caught fire and flew about like... well, like it was on fire. "I didn't know Geodudes could learn that," exclaimed Smasher. "You'd be surprised by what some Pokemon can learn," Amber said. "Chronus, Rock Slide!" "Deadite, Toxic!" Deadite covered Chronus with toxic sludge before being K-O'ed by large boulders. The sludge seeped into Chronus's stone hide. Chronus was greatly poisoned! "Your 'Dude's lookin' a bit ill, girlie!" taunted Lasher. "Chronus can take it," informed Amber. "A'ight, but can it take a bustin'? Buster, bust this brick to ... uh, smitherines!" "Nice taunt," Basil droned sarcastically. "Shut up." Lasher tossed out a Poke Ball. With a flash of light, Buster, his Oddish, popped out. "Groove Buster, Buster!" commanded Lasher. "Using that move would be ill-advised," warned Basil. "You're just complaining because you don't know what it is." "Aw, c'mon! Tell me!" "Watch 'n learn, Basil. Watch 'n learn!" Lasher pulled out his flute and started playing it. "What is this guy, crazy?" Amber noted. "Chronus, Fire Blast!" Buster began to dance to the music, prancing about Chronus in a circle. Chronus let loose with a raging blaze, but wasn't able to land so much as a spark on the frolicking Oddish. "Buster's dance makes him harder to hit," Smasher warned. "Now you tell me," Amber said. Still going with the music, Buster leapt into the air with a twirl. He landed several kicks on Chronus, who popped! "What in..." exclaimed Lasher. "Substitute," said Amber. "Gotta love it. Fire Blast!" "Mega Drain!" Buster barely avoided the flames as he leapt towards the real Chronus. He landed feet-first on the Geodude and drained away a large portion of its energy. "Solar Beam, Buster!" Chronus won't last much longer, Amber thought to herself. Lasher was a better trainer than she expected. Buster was giving time away by absorbing sunlight in preparation for the Solar Beam attack, but Amber didn't see much point in calling back a near-fainted and greatly- poisoned Pokemon. "Chronus, Exposion!" Chronus detonated. The shockwave from the Explosion shook the court. Buster was dazed, but not out. Unfortunately, Chronus was. "Chronus return!" Amber's Geodude disappeared into its Poke Ball in a red glow. "Wanna take a wack at it, Smasher?" "Do I ever!" accepted Smasher. "The enemy's weak, Rush! Go get 'em!" "Ariba!" Rush called as he appeared. "Your Growlithe can talk?" exclaimed Lasher. "Nuthin' gets by you, does it?" Rush answered sarcastically. "You want I should take this guy down, Jeffe?" "You know it, Rush!" encouraged Smasher. "Tag 'em with your Ember attack!" Buster suddenly let loose with a massive Solar Beam, engulfing Rush with a huge heat ray! "Hey, that tickles," Rush commented. He then coughed up a fireball and knocked out Buster. "I will dispatch the Growlithe," droned Basil. A door opened in Basil's CPU case and a Poke Ball popped out. "Pokemon 03, engage." A Sandslash loomed over Rush. "Holy frijoles!" exclaimed Rush. "Slash attack," droned Basil. "Ember again, Rush!" commanded Smasher. Rush let loose with another fireball, but to little effect. 03 back- handed the Growlithe across the court. "Fissure." "Hang in there, Rush! Use Roar to scare him off!" "I don't think that'll help much!" Rush said, leaping away from a widening hole in the floor. "Then just Take 'em Down!" Rush charged up and ran towards 03. He ducked a claw swipe from the Sandslash and was thrown back when his own attack landed. Unfortunately, it threw him back into the fissure. Smasher was forced to call him back before he went splat. The Sandslash was still standing. "I think my Bellsprout can take 'em," offered Amber. "The hole is still being worked on," Smasher said. Caterpies and Weedles were busily weaving a web around the hole from underneath. "I think what we need is a little air support. Go, Zubat! Confuse Ray!" "Double Team." A ray of suspicious light hit 03 with full impact. The Sandslash put its paws over its head. Its head was swimming. Colors were blurring. Sounds were getting hollow and distorted. Something bit into its shoulder. Probably Zubat. 03 heard something to the effect of what it thought might've been "Slash." Figuring it was a command from its master, it made a wild swing and fell into the hole in the floor. "All right, Zubat!" cheered Smasher. "Way to go!" added Amber. Zubat suddenly fell to the ground. Cliff the Clefairy scampered onto the court to check on him. Cliff stopped when Zubat began to glow. He grew bigger, wrapped his wings around himself and stood up. "Bat," he told Cliff. Cliff nodded and climbed back onto Smasher's Shoulder. Meanwhile, Basil had deployed Pokemon 04-10, and Exeggcute. They surrounded their opponent. The Bat narrowed its eyes at the seed infront of it. "Bite!" "Hypnosis." The bat flew open its wings with a horrific screech and wrapped his gapping jaws around the seed in front him. The other seeds stood there with their jaws agape. "It's a Golbat!" exclaimed Lasher. "Well, duh," commented Smasher. "Barrage," commanded Basil. One by one, the Exeggcute seeds launched themselves at Golbat only to be swatted away by its great wings. "Yeah, Golbat! Mega Drain!" "Psychic." 04-10 swarmed into a star pattern. Five Exeggcute seeds focused their mental powers into a central seed. This seed let loose with a massive stream of Psychic energy. Golbat took to the air, wrapped himself up, and plowed straight through the giant beam. He took heavy damage, but was able to replenish himself with fresh-squeezed Exeggcute juice. Five seeds fainted from shock. "99.9999901 percent, huh?" quiped Lasher. "I'll take it from here. Why don'cha shut down before you hurt yourself? Ramstien, go!" A Seel slid out onto the court. Golbat stared at it menacingly. "Can Golbat take much more?" asked Amber. "We wouldn't be the Extreme Team if we worried about our health," scoffed Smasher. "Mega Drain, Golbat!" "Ramstien, Aurora Beam!" commanded Lasher. Golbat wasn't fast enough to avoid the rainbow-colored ice beam. Between the evolution, the Psychic attack and the Aurora Beam, he didn't have enough energy to continue. Golbat collasped in a heap. "My Pikachu should be able to take 'em," offered Amber. "Go for it!" decided Smasher. Amber tossed out a Poke Ball. "Raiden! Go! Nix 'em with a Body Slam!" "Double Team, Ramstien!" Lasher commanded. "I'm not about to be beaten by this punk, much less his punk girlfriend! Or both these punks, for that matter!" "Think you said 'punk' enough?" chided Basil. Raiden caught some air and attempted to belly-flop onto its water-based foe. The Pikachu missed as Ramstien appeared to go in two directions at once! "Finish it quickly, Ramstien! Horn Drill attack!" "Thunderbolt, Raiden!" Ramstien slid to a stop at one end of the court. The Seel then lauched towards its electrifying foe, spinning like a drill. Raiden flanked Ramstien and sent a thousand watts of pure electricy through its body. Ramstien hit a wall and went out like a light. "Well, I'm outta here," Lasher said as he recalled Ramstien. "Basil, I'd love to say it's been a pleasure, but it hasn't. Go jump in the lake. Jack, where's that survey form?" "Pokemon 12, engage," Basil droned as he deployed his side's last Pokemon, a Beedrill. "Double Team." Shuriken started to leap into battle, but Smasher stopped him. "Sorry, bud," Smasher said. "But Amber has this match in the bag, and we need that money. Maybe next time." Shuriken sat down in a cross-legged pose, pouting. "Oh, c'mon. Don't be like that," said Smasher. "Thunderwave, Raiden!" commanded Amber. "Double Team," droned Basil. Raiden sent a wave of electricity hurtling towards 12. The wave missed as the Beedrill disappeared into thin air a reappeared elsewhere! "He's fast," noted Amber. "Thunderbolt, Raiden!" "Focus Energy," droned Basil. Raiden let loose with a blast of lightning, but missed! "Aw, man! Body Slam, Raiden!" "Fury Attack." 12 dove in with a barrage of jabs from its stinger-arms. Each one landed with ruthless acuracy. Then more landed. Then more. "I don't know if Raiden can take much more of this," Amber said, worried. "The hits just keep on coming!" Shuriken then thought of something. He went up to Cliff and told him something. Cliff then scampered over to Jack, grabbed his clipboard and took off with it! "Hey!" demanded Jack as he chased Cliff around the court. "Give that back to me!" Shuriken then ran up behind 12 and hit it with his skateboard! He then took Raiden by the paw and gave 12 a double clothesline! Raiden grabbed 12 by the waist and hoisted the Beedrill over its shoulder as Shuriken grabbed its neck and slammed it into his shoulder as the 12 came crashing down! Shuriken left the court as Raiden Body Slammed 12. Jack finally got his clipboard back from Cliff. He looked back at the court just in time to see Raiden Body Slam an unconscious 12. "Looks like Amber and Smasher wins," Jack said. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "What do you think of Amber, Cliff?" Smasher asked. "Clef clefairy clef," said Cliff from Smasher's shoulder. They walked down the street, following Amber to her friend's house. "Yeah, I like her too," Smasher said quietly, as if sharing a secret. "I'm thinking of asking her out." "Clef?" "Yeah. Did you see us in that match? We work great together, and she we have a lot in common. We're perfect for each other." "Fairy clef..." "You have doubts?" "Clefairy fairy clef. Clairy fef cle. Ry." "You can't argue with logic like that. If I spoke your language, maybe, but until then we'll have to agree to disagree." Smasher caught back up with Amber. "Hey, Amber, can I ask-" started Smasher. "There she is!" Amber shouted excitedly. Amber's friend had seen them coming down the street and ran outside to meet them. She apparently had her hair done to match Sailor Neptune's for the anime convention in Saffron, but hadn't dyed it the right color yet. Her hair was still its natural brown color. She also hadn't gotten dressed yet on the account of her being ill, still wearing her pajamas and bathrobe. Laughing, Amber rushed toward her friend and scooped her up. She held her tight and kissed her deeply. Smasher was in shock. "Oh, my cold," Amber's friend said when they stopped kissing. "You shouldn't've kissed me." "I forgot," Amber giggled. "Oh, there's a friend of mine I'd like you to..." Amber turned around to introduce her friend to Smasher, but he was gone. "Where'd he go?" [Spinning graphic] Smasher stomped into the Pokemon Center in grim silence. He tossed his back pack and belt onto the counter, walked up to an empty wall and beat his head against it. A Poke Ball opened and Rush came out. "Something tells me that you found out that you and Amber had a bit more in common than you thought, eh?" said Rush. "(Don't be so insensitive, Rush,)" warned Shuriken in his native Staryu- speak. "What'd I say?" asked Rush. "(I don't understand,)" Cliff said in Clefairese. "(What's going on here?)" "(Well, uh,)" Shuriken said. "(It's a bit difficult to explain...)" "(Amber's into chicks,)" Golbat said as he came out of his ball. "(Okay, it's not so difficult to explain,)" Shuriken admitted. Smasher stopped beatin his head against the wall. "How could I have been so stupid?" moaned Smasher. "Don't beat yourself up over this, Jeffe," Rush said. "There's no way you could've known." "You knew," Smasher pointed out. "Me? What do I know? I'm a dog for cryin' out loud! I made a guess based on a costume she was wearing! You have a Team Rocket costume; It doesn't mean you go around stealing Pokemon, does it?" "I geuss not... But it hurts, y'know?" "Well, you were hitting your head pretty hard." "Not that. The thing... with Amber. We seemed so perfect together, and I was about to give her my very soul. Then my heart gets splattered like a fly on the windshield of life and my guts get spread across it by the wipers of harsh truth." "That's life, hombre. Sometimes you hit the windshield, sometimes you get blown over it. Sometimes you get sucked into the engine and get chopped up by the engine rotor. You'll get over her." "I'm not sure I want to get over her." The video phone rang and Nurse Joy picked it up. "Excuse me," said Nurse Joy. "Are you Smasher?" "Uh, huh," Smasher answered. "You have a phone call," Joy told him. "'K." Smasher went over to the phone and took the receiver from Nurse Joy. Amber's face looked at him from the view screen. "Hi Smasher," Amber said. "Hey," Smasher replied sadly. "I guess we kinda scared you off back there," said Amber, in an embarrassed tone. "I didn't mean to. It kinda just happened." "Yeah." "I... I meant to tell you sooner, but we were having such a good time together that I just forgot." "Uh, huh." "I suppose there was a better way to break it to you than... jumping on my girlfriend like a rabid wolf and jabbing my tongue down her throat, but I couldn't help myself." She paused. Amber could tell that Smasher was hurt by what had happened. "Listen, I didn't want to hurt you," Amber apologized. "If I could take that action back, I would, but I can't. I really like you, and I think we can be great friends. That would mean a lot to me, if we could be friends." "Yeah," Smasher accepted. "Friends. Sure." Rush leapt onto the counter so he could see the video phone. "Since we're such good friends now," Rush suggested. "How's about you let us come over and watch you two... play around. Know what I mean?" "Hmmm... Maybe," Amber said coyly. "Ohhhh... How about tonight?" "I don't think so." Smasher laughed a little. "Smasher?" "Yeah?" "How did you win that Tornadobadge?" "You really wanna know?" "Yeah. Tell me from the beginning." "Okay. Well, it was the last night of the carnival's stay. I had just gotten on the roller coaster when I discovered that I was sitting right next to Lasher..." The two of them talked long into the night. To Be Continued...