From: Ghostyhead (cussingsnake@tesco.net)
Subject: [PW!] - HitmonChansey
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
Date: 2000/06/22
Eep. I wrote another.
PW! - HitmonChansey
Raine and Nurse Joy flung aside the Pokémon Centre's doors, each striding
down one side of the corridor accompanied, respectively, by Meche and the
best fighter of the two Chansey. The Marowak threw her bone club from
hand to hand apprehensively. She didn't like fighting at the best of times,
and this was definitely not the best of times. For its part, the Chansey
was quite looking forward to the upcoming battle. It had long since
realised that working at the Pokémon Centre didn't entail much violence, and
despite its pink fluffiness, it considered itself something of a born
fighter.
The adjoining room was dark, its blinds drawn against the morning sun. As
the group prepared to enter, Raine noticed Nurse Joy extracting a few
bottles of various substances from what remained of her pockets.
"What's that?" she asked innocently.
"PokéProzac.no, definitely not." Joy muttered, seemingly lost in thought.
"PokéPercocets.hmm.no."
"Ah, here we are," said Joy happily, extracting a hypodermic and beginning
to fill it from one of the bottles.
"Pokéritalin!" she exclaimed. "It's just what your little Haunter needs.
Of course, it's still on trial, but what better opportunity am I going to
get?" she said optimistically.
Raine shuddered as she recalled the time Spaceghost had got into the
medicine cabinet at home. He'd.no, she didn't even want to remember that
little incident. Glaring at Nurse Joy, Raine began to look worried. A
quick glance across at Meche revealed that she shared her trainer's
sentiments.
"We're not giving him drugs," said Raine firmly. Joy looked a little
offended.
"Well, if you insist, but we'd better be ready for a fight..." she said. "I
doubt he'll want to come quietly." Raine and her Marowak nodded in unison.
Meche gripped her club with both hands. "Wak", she said, edging the door
open. Raine crept along beside her. It was strange, she thought, that she
was nervous about confronting her own Haunter. There had been something dec
idedly odd about Spaceghost over the past few weeks, even more so than
usual. Putting the thought aside for the moment, she glanced around the
room, taking in the empty beds and wrecked equipment. It was pretty safe to
say that Spaceghost had recently been in residence. Raine's heart pounded
as if ready to burst free of her chest.
"CHANSEY! CHANNSIII!"
The sudden yell nearly gave Raine a heart attack. Meche, apparently even
more tense than her trainer, jumped into the air with shock, hitting her
head on the edge of a bed with a painful-sounding thud.
Raine glanced around in time to see Nurse Joy's Chansey , having leapt
headlong into the centre of the room, performing what it believed to be an
intimidating display of its fighting prowess. To everyone else in the room
(with the possible exception of Meche, who was seeing little Spearows flying
around her head) it looked, basically, like a blancmange trying to do
kung-fu.
Raine immediately ran over to the prone Meche, who was beginning to pick
herself up. "Wak. wak." groaned the Pokémon, rubbing her head. Raine
helped her stand, then rounded angrily on Nurse Joy, who had followed her
Chansey into the room.
"What are you trying to do? Kill us?" she shouted, the tension of moments
before finally escaping.
"Wak."
"What do you mean, trying to kill you? We were just taking the initiative!"
replied the nurse, surprised and annoyed at Raine's outburst.
"Oh, I'm sorry." ranted the irate trainer. "I guess we should have just sat
back and let you and the Machamp wannabe here save the day!"
"Chansey? Chan?"
"Maro."
"I have HAD IT with you, Joy!" yelled Raine. "Let me and Meche handle
this!"
"You've obviously never handled it properly before or we wouldn't be in this
mess!" shouted Joy, now almost face-to-face with Raine. "Chansey and me
were handling things just fine before you and bonehead had a panic attack!"
"And me and Meche were doing okay until you and the pink ranger decided to
make your entrance!" replied Raine, fuming.
"Chansey!"
"Maro! Wak!"
"HAUNTER!"
Nurse, trainer, Marowak and Chansey turned as one to face the door.
Silhouetted against the sunlight was the small shape of Spaceghost.
"Haunthaunthaunt!" exclaimed the little ghost, waving his hands, imitating
the arguing humans. "haunthaunt.HAUNT!" he shouted, clutching his hands to
where his ears might be if he had any.
"Okay, drama queen. We get the idea", said Raine. Spaceghost subjected her
to his most evil stare. "HAUNTER!"
With this, the Pokémon waved his hands and unleashed a beam of darkness in
Raine's direction. Leaping to defend her trainer, Meche deflected it with a
flick of her club. The Marowak narrowed her eyes.
"Maro."
Nurse Joy's Chansey had been having a few thoughts of its own. Stepping
forward, it elbowed Meche out of the way.
"Haunt?"
"Chann."
"Haunter? Ter?"
"Sii."
"HAUNTER!"
Spaceghost blasted out a few more Night Shade beams at his angry pink
assailant. One made contact, but hardly seemed to hurt the creature at all.
Impressed despite her irritation, Raine looked down at Meche. "Wak", said
the Pokémon, trying to sound as nonchalant as she could after being
upstaged.
"Chansey! Minimize!" shouted Joy. The Chansey glowed for a second, then
shrank, first to half its size, then a third, then a quarter, until Raine
was hard pressed to tell where it was.
Spaceghost hovered in the centre of the room, laughing maniacally and
unleashing beam after beam, none of which managed to make contact thanks to
his opponent's reduced size.
"Come on", whispered Raine to Meche. "She'll never win this as a straight
fight."
As the battle in the centre of the room raged on, Raine and her slightly
dizzy Pokémon crept out towards the Centre's lobby. Outside, day had truly
dawned and rain was pattering insistently against the window. Through the
haze, the flash of police lights could be seen. To Meche's puzzlement,
Raine broke into a run and leapt out through the front doors, hurtling down
the steps three at a time.
"Marowak? Maro!" she called, but to no avail. Caught between her loyalty
to her trainer and her intense dislike of water, Meche settled down by the
doors and watched the puddles peacefully. From inside the Pokémon Centre
came a crash and a weak-sounding "Chann.sii."
Meche grinned, satisfied, set her club down and began to meditate.