From: RobfromVoid (RobfromVoid@prodigy.net) Subject: [PW!] Outliver Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2000/08/03 A cute teenage girl in a safari outfit, complete with hat, is fanning herself with her manicured hands, "Oooh, Marvy-man, it sure is totally hots in this jungle! Even hottier than me! Fersure! If this keeps up, I'm gonna hafta become girlie in bikini!" The middle-aged has-been magician in a tuxedo grins from his place behind the teenage girl, as they continue their trek down the jungles of the Pokemon Island preserve, "I wouldn't mind that too much, Famifax! But seriously, we've been on this island for quite a while and haven't found a single Water Pokemon who's friendly enough to follow us to the ship. I even looked under a dock and saw a rock, but it wasn't a rock - it was a Rock Cloyster! Pokemon sure have weird colors here..." "I thinks tha collahs are totally pwetty!" Famifax's wide blue eyes become wider when she glances up into the branches of a nearby tree and spots a Spearow covered in beautiful tropical plumage of various colors, including green, red, and yellow, "Ooo, lookit thas one's colors! Thass WEALLY pwetty!!!" The Spearow extends his wings, focuses his unusually vacant eyes on Famifax, and squawks out, "PWETTY! PWETTY!" Famifax claps while laughing, "Birdie thinks I pwetty too!" Marvin's mouth opens in astonishment, "Whoa, a talking Spearow! I've never seen one of those..." "Never seen! Never seen!" The Spearow repeats, then proceeds to pick away at the dirtiness under his wings with his beak. Marvin raises one eyebrow at the tropical Spearow, "Aren't talking birds supposed to say 'Never MORE'?" The Spearow cocks his head at Marvin, blinks a few times, then shouts, "Never MORE! Never MORE!" "That's better." Marvin reaches into his coat pocket and grabs an empty Pokeball. He proceeds to voice his thoughts outloud, "Every middle-aged man on the high seas needs to have a bird Pokemon on his shoulder, and I am no exception. I don't care if it's illegal to catch Pokemon on this island, I have to take this risk, to uphold my reputation of being cliche!" Marvin winds up like a baseball pitcher on a cartoon show would, concentrates, and hurls the Pokeball with all his might! "Exception!" The Spearow screeches the word from it's beak and leaps into flight, narrowly missing the Pokeball that Marvin threw... by a few meters, since Marvin isn't very good at tossing Pokeballs. The Spearow caws as he soars away... Marvin sighs and grabs his empty Pokeball off the ground, "That was embarrassing... but it could've been worse. At least Xerox isn't here to make some snide remark about my developing arthritis. I'll never catch up with that Spearow..." "NEIGH...ver say never!" Famifax squeals out at Marvin, nuzzling him with her face, which is now that of a Rapidash, as is the rest of her body, "Hop on, Marvy! I promises I'm no gonna changes into girlie while ya on my back like lass time! I knows ya don't likes it!" The elegant Rapidash winks her eye, then leans down so the retired magician can climb onto her back. He does so reluctantly. Once Marvin's grabbed onto her neck, Famifax starts chasing the Spearow, following his cries. "This is so envigorating!" Marvin exclaims, holding Famifax the Rapidash's neck with one hand and keeping his top hat on his head with the other, "I wish I had more hair so that the wind would blow through it. Oh, what am I saying?! I sound like an old geezer, not the young man who's about to enter the Orange League and become a Pokemon Master. I really have to start looking... LOOKING OUT!" Marvin pulls on Famifax's neck so she doesn't collide with a group of people dressed in torn clothing, but his warning isn't early enough, and momentum sends the Rapidash crashing into one of the women in the group! Marvin sits up after his face has collided with the dirt to see the woman and an exact replica of the woman. He then looks at the five other people, who look rather unclean, and waves to them, "Hi, my name's Marvin the Mag... uh, just Marvin!" One of the burlier men grabs Marvin by his off-center bow-tie and forces him to stand up, "You and yer little shapeshifting horsie scared away all those delicious blue Rattata we were about to eat. We don't like it when our dinner is scared away." A nervous smile forms on Marvin's face, along with a few sweatdrops, as he explains, "You're mistaken about my Pokemon, sir. She's a Ditto, not a shapeshiting Horsea... I didn't even know those existed, but then again, I didn't know Spearows could talk until a few minutes ago... But anyway, why in the world would you eat Rattata? And how did you find blue ones on this island? Aren't all the Pokemon here rare ones of different colors that can't be caught, let alone eaten, lest a Jenny shoot you?!" "Put him down." A nicer man places his arm on his burly companion and the tough guy releases his grip on Marvin's shoulders. The nice man, who is just as dirty as his pal, explains, "Those Rattata were released by the show's producers so we could hunt them down and eat them for the amusement of people back on the mainland. If we eat something that wasn't released for the show, we get voted off Pokemon Island and get hauled off to jail. The last one left on the island gets a Porygon, so I'll eat Rattatas, Weedles, whatever it takes, as long as I don't have to sit down in that Casino for all those months!" Marvin narrows his eyes, trying to figure out why this all sounds vaguely familiar, "Oh yeah! That's right... I saw a special on TV about all this before I started my Journey to the Orange Islands. You're on the 'Outliver' show, aren't you? It's another one of those 'reality based' shows, just like 'Who Wants To Catch a Dragonair?', isn't it?" "Yeah, but that show stinks." The burly man snarls, "After taxes, all you get is a Dratini. I'm gonna win a PORYGON here!" One mean-looking woman, who hadn't spoken yet, rolls up her sleeves, revealing large biceps, "Who says YOU'RE gonna get the Porygon?! We should vote ya off the island just for bein' so damn arrogant! Or better yet, we should cook ya - those Rattatas got away, and I don't intend on huntin' 'em down again." She starts pounding her fist into her other hand. "We don't have to eat him! A Pokemon bumped into me before the Rapidash and the weirdo did, and I hid it under my shirt so it wouldn't get away. We can eat THIS... as long as the cameras aren't rolling." The pretty but dirty young woman that Famifax currently resembles reaches into her shirt and pulls out the tropical Spearow that Marvin was trying to catch. The Spearow squawks, "EAT THIS!", then attempts to fly away, but Famifax hops up and grabs him by his colorful tail before he can flee. Famifax happily squeals, "Yay, Marvy-man! I caughtstha birdie! Less get outta here bee-four the crazee peeps tries ta eats US!" She grabs Marvin's hand and starts to run away, back towards the shore where Marvin's ship is docked. Before they can get too far, Marvin gets tired and has to stop to catch his breath. Famifax rolls her eyes, "Gee, sometimes I so totally wishes that ya could changes likes me ta be a superfast peep insteada a bit fat Marvy-man!" The tropical Spearow, while struggling to escape from Famifax's tight grip on his feathers, screams out, "Bit Fat Marvy-man! Big fat Marvy-man!" "This isn't... huff... helping my self... esteem..." Marvin wipes his brow and taps the empty Pokeball in his hand onto the Spearow's head. The bird Pokemon gets turned into energy and transferred into the Pokeball, which starts shaking violently, then pops open. The Spearow escapes, flapping his wings very quickly, and manages to escape before Famifax can grab him. Marvin sighs between breaths, "I can't even... catch Pokemon... at point blank... range..." Famifax places her hands on her waist and argues, "Ya should uses some magics, Marvy-man! Cuz without the magics, yer just an old crazy guy wearin a funny hat. Sorrytasay, butitstrue! Fersure... Now gets out theres an do yer magic thang!" "You're right, Famifax... I'm a magician, not a Pokemon trainer, and I haven't been acting like either one recently. It's about time I start being both!" Marvin reaches into his pocket and withdraws a magic wand with a magnetic tip. He then grabs a Pokeball from his coat and places it on the magnetic end of the wand so that it sticks there. The magician suspends the wand in mid-air, then uses his free hands to show that he has nothing up either sleeve, before making a Pidgey appear, "Pidgey, take this wand to the Spearow up there!" The Pidgey snaps the wand out of mid-air with its beak and flies up to the sky... "When didya catch a Pidgey?!" Famifax asks, astounded by the appearance of the bird that seemed to appear out of thin air. Marvin chuckles at the fact that the illusion worked on Famifax, "It's not a real Pidgey. Magicians use props, not Pokemon! But Pokemon trainers use Pokemon, not props..." Marvin glances up at the sky over the beach, where his robotic Pidgey has finally arrived. He uses the prop's hidden controls to slam the Pidgey into the Spearow, dislodging the Pokeball attached to the wand in its beak. Exeggcute pop out of the ball, huddled together. Before the law of gravity takes its toll on the six seed Pokemon, Marvin speaks into his cuff-link transmitter, "Exeggcute, Hypnosis attack!" Upon hearing their master's voice coming from the Pidgey next to them, the six Exeggcute put aside their differences and perform the attack as an immediate reaction to Marvin's command. The Spearow gets drowsy, which lessens his ability to fly. Proving that gravity affects all things equally, all six Exeggcute performing Hypnosis, the sleeping Spearow, and the robotic Pidgey all plummet to the sandy beach from their high elevation at the same rate... Famifax places her hands on the sides of her face, "Oh no! They alls gonna be totally squashy in seconds!" Marvin shakes his head, "Not if I'm there to catch them." He sprints towards the point on the beach where the Pokemon will crash as fast as he can, trying to prove that he's fit enough to be a Pokemon trainer... but fearing that he's not going to make it on time, his magician side reveals itself once again as he pulls off his hat, transforms it into a pillow by spinning his wrist in a certain motion, and tosses it onto the spot where he's sure the Pokemon will land... and they do... unharmed. The panting, tired magician, lands on the sand next to the Pokemon, hitting the sleeping Spearow with his empty Pokeball on the way down. This time, the Spearow gets sucked in and stays in, and the Pokeball announces "Ding". Marvin, proud of his achievement, says, "I've fallen... and I CAN get up... just give me a few hours... I know I can do it..." Famifax races over to where Marvin has fallen onto the ground, clapping her hands the entire way, "Yay fer Marvy-man! Ya ARE a superfast peep, afterall! Fersure!" Suddenly, a loud angry voice coming from a cameraman that just appeared on the scene is heard, "HEY, YOU! LADY! WEREN'T YA JUST VOTED OFF THE ISLAND FOR SUGGESTIN' TA EAT A BIRD? GET OUTTA HERE!" Famifax smiles at the man in the distance, "Oh yah. Yah, thass mee, awight... Bye bye!" She helps Marvin stand up and gather his things, then holds him up as they head back to the Magical Marvel, Marvin's ship, singing, "Dids ya ever knows thas ya my heeero?" On the way to the boat, she finds it hard to support Marvin on her current small feminine frame, so she Transforms into Marvin, "Ooo, thass ladys body was so superweak, not superstrong like this one I haves now!" Marvin smiles at Famifax's comment, and he once again thinks outloud, "Now that Famifax doesn't think I'm a big fat loser, all I have to do is convince that Spearow that I'm not. He called me big fat Marvy just like Fami... fax... did... HEY! Maybe all he can do is repeat what other people say?" Marvin pauses to think about it, "Nahhhh, that's ridiculous..." Though Marvin doesn't hear it, a certain Spearow mumbles two words during his slumber within a Pokeball, "That's ridiculous." -Marvin