From: Tech Weaver Mask (email@example.com)
Subject: [PW] Poke-Kong Goes Ape! Part Two: Poke-Kong in the Big City
Date: 2000-09-22 15:48:33 PST
*Smasher crashes through a limo's sunroof and meets...*
Smasher: Dole Shubotcher!
*Shubotcher and Smasher in the limousine*
Shubotcher: I need your help capturing a legendary Pokemon for my next
*View of Giant Primeape Island from the ship. Poké-Kong coming out of the
Shubotcher: A large tribe on a remote island worships him like a god.
*Tribal Islanders catch Shubotcher and his expedition. Amber is tied to a
pole by the islanders. Smasher goes to rescue her.*
*Shubotcher's giant, rocket-powered MegaBall misses Poké-Kong. Smasher and
other trainers in the expedition battle Poké-Kong but gain no ground. Amber
catches Poké-Kong in an ordinary PokéBall.*
Smasher: You'd think it could just bust right out again if it wanted.
*Amber holding the PokéBall.*
Amber: I wonder why it didn't...
[Cue Title Sequence]
I was transported
to a faraway land
to a land where monsters rule
Something about mystery disks...
and unleash the Phoenix inside...
[Cut to Title screen]
Episode 7: Poké-Kong Goes Ape!
Part Two: "Poké-Kong in the Big City," or "You Can Take the Giant Primeape
Out of the Jungle..."
Written and Directed by Chet "Tech" Weaver
"So this is New Vertiform City?" Smasher said. "I've never seen so many
tall buildings before, or even buildings of this size!"
"Yep," said Amber. "They say from New Vertiform City, you can go anywhere!"
"Cool," said Smasher.
They continued down the street. Amber was carrying Cliff Diver the Clefairy
at the moment and Shuriken the Staryu did his best to keep up with Smasher.
Their progress was slow as the waded through the sea of humanity going every
which way. Shuriken defty maneuvered around the feet of the humans who
either couldn't or chose not to see him. He eventually gave up on walking
and latched onto the back of Smasher's Marowak-skull helmet.
"Hey, Amber," Smasher said. "If we can go anywhere, why does it feel like
we're going nowhere?"
"Maybe it would be faster if we took a cab," Amber suggested.
They eventually crossed the sidewalk and climbed into a cab.
"Gen Street Music Hall," Amber said.
"Sure thing," the cab driver responded. "Y'know, this city is a major trade
and tourism hub."
"Ya don't say," Smasher said.
"Yeah," the cabbie continued. "Some very successful careers have started
here, too. Tha's why they say from here you can go anywhere."
"Really? I didn't know that."
"It's true, it's true."
"Which ones, what?"
"Which careers started here?"
"You wouldn't know 'em."
"I don't think we're going anywhere," Amber pointed out.
"You're telling me," Smasher replied.
"There's been an accident a ways down the road," the driver reported.
"Traffic's been jammed for hours."
"Grid lock," sighed Amber. "We might as well get out. How much do we owe
"For pulling into traffic?" the cab driver responded. "No charge."
"Thanks," Amber said. They got back out of the cab. "Now what?"
"There seems to be less people in the street than the sidewalk," Smasher
noted. "Let's try going through there."
"Where is she?" director Dole Schubotcher fretted. "She's supposed to be on
stage, on air and on line in..." He checked his watch. "... Five minutes!"
"Right here, Mr. Schubotcher," Amber says as she and Smasher enter through
the back door. "I don't remember there being so many people in town when I
was here last."
"They practically crawl out of the woodwork for an event like this,"
Schubotcher said. "Now hurry up! You have five minutes to get ready and
get on stage!"
"Where's Poké-Kong?" Smasher asked as Amber ran off to her dressing room
with Cliff Diver still in her arms.
"He's on stage," Schubotcher said.
Smasher went over to the stage. The huge, red curtains had yet to be drawn.
Poké-Kong was hidden from the audience further by a wall shaped like a
PokéBall. Poké-Kong looked angry and uncomfortable, but he wasn't trying to
escape. Occasionally, he'd feebly strain against his bonds. His hands and
feet were chained to the raised platform he stood on.
"We had to use Stun Spores on him so he wouldn't try to escape," Schubotcher
explained. "We could've had him sedated completely, but I wanted him to be
able to react to everything so the audience knows he's real. We've also
used a variety of Pokémon techniques to make sure he was just strong enough
to impress the audience, but not so much that he could escape."
"Couldn't you just command him to stay there?" Smasher asked.
"We didn't want to take any chances," said Schubotcher. "He may prove to be
too powerful to be controlled otherwise."
"What about Amber? She has eight badges."
"I didn't want to have to rely on her. If we had a falling out or if
something were to happen to her, I would also be out a giant Primeape."
Smasher opened the curtain slightly so he could see the audience. The
place was packed. A woman asked an usher if she could have a different seat
to avoid eyestrain. The usher explained that it wasn't a movie. Smasher
wondered why this seemed familiar.
"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Schubotcher," Amber said. She wore the
white-sequined gown that the tribal villagers tried to sacrifice her in not
too long ago, which had most likely been cleaned since then. The make-up
person had made good use of the limited amount of time they had. Smasher
thought she looked absolutely radiant. Everything around her seemed white
and hazy, and he could've sworn he saw flower petals float by on a breeze.
"Amber, you look..." Smasher was unable to find the right words. "Gee, uh,
"Beautiful?" Amber offered.
"Yeah," Smasher said.
"Oh, look who else is here!" Amber said. Another girl that Smasher
recognized stepped into view. His fanastical gazing was abruptly shattered.
Amber put an arm around her and said, "She was able to make it, after all!"
"Who's this?" Schubotcher asked.
"This is my girlfriend, Heidi," Amber said.
"Hey," Heidi said.
"Pleasure to meet you, miss," Schubotcher said, shaking her hand.
"Her _Girlfriend_, girlfriend," Smasher pointed out.
"Oh," said Schubotcher, his realization that Amber wasn't just using popular
slang now quite apparent. "Oh. I wasn't aware that, uh..."
"It's no big deal," Amber said.
"Okay.... Good, good," Schubotcher was now at a loss for word himself.
"Well, uh, the show's about to start! Places, everyone! Places!"
"I guess I'll see you two after the show," Amber said. She kissed Heidi on
the lips and walked on stage. Heidi and Smasher made sure they were off
"So you're Amber's boyfriend?" Heidi asked.
"I wish," Smasher said. "The whole sexual identity thing is kinda standing
in the way of that."
"I think Amber wishes that, too," Heidi said. "She won't admit it, though.
"Uh, you would?"
"Yeah, you're kinda cute."
"Well, uh, thanks."
Heidi got up close to Smasher. She put a hand on his arm and gazed into his
"Y'know," Heidi continued softly, "If I wasn't already seeing someone, I'd
want to be with you." She pulled back and began to walk off. She stopped
and looked back. "Maybe I'd like to be with you anyway," she added with a
Shuriken slipped off the back of Smasher's head.
Sweet Jeebus! I think she was coming on to me, Smasher's mind exclaimed.
Schubotcher's introductory speech was going flawlessly. It was now time to
unveil the star of the show.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen," Schubotcher said. Smoke began to billow
out from behind the PokéBall-wall behind him. The wall began to slowly
rise. "It is my pleasure to introduce to you the primeval terror from a
land that time forgot and the young lady who caught him.... Presenting....
Beauty and the Beast!"
The audience gasped and applauded as Poké-Kong came into view. Amber stood
on his platform, posing fearlessly in front of him. The sounds of the
audience agitated and confused Poké-Kong. He thrashed about, but paralysis
kept him from doing anything dangerous. The audience gasped again in
"Not too worry, everyone," Schubotcher said reassuringly. "We've taken
every precaution to make sure that you, the audience, are perfectly safe."
Suddenly, bright flashes came from near the stage. Schubotcher looked down
and saw photo-journalists taking pictures using flashbulbs. He scrambled
over to them.
"Didn't you get the notices?" Schubotcher demanded. "NO flash photography!
"PRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIMAAAAAAAAAPE!!!!!!" Poké-Kong bellowed. The great beast
was now in enraged. Adrenaline surged through him. He pulled at his chains
and they broke off. The paparazzi completely ignored Schubotcher's commands
and continued taking pictures. The audience ran every which way, screaming
"Everyone, please remain calm!" Schubotcher called out. "Leave the building
in an orderly fashion!"
Animal wranglers came out from back stage with cattle prods. They jabbed
the prods at Poké-Kong, trying to keep him in line. The giant Primeape
lashed out with an arm, knocking the wranglers down in one fell swoop before
escaping though the nearest wall. Smasher and Heidi ran out on stage.
"Oh, no! Poké-Kong is on the loose!" Heidi exclaimed.
"You three go back to the hotel," Schubotcher ordered. "I'll lead
coordinated effort to recapture Poké-Kong!"
"You mean catch the next flight out of here," Amber said.
"I didn't say WHERE I'd lead it from," Schubotcher said. "Aopulco should be
a safe enough distance away. Ta!"
New Vertiform City confused Poké-Kong. There were no trees or dinosaurs.
Just buildings made of concrete and glass with little humans running around
either screaming in terror or scolding him for damaging their property. All
the streets looked the same to him. How do people get anywhere in this
He was halfway to the bridge when he realized he forgot something. He left
that girl in the white dress at the theatre! He nearly stepped on a
cameraman as he ran back down town.
"Poké-Kong continues to rampage about New Vertiform City," the anchorman
reported. "He seems to wandering about aimlessly, as if trying to find
something. The police and the military have yet to do anything about this
"What could he be looking for?" Heidi wondered. She watched the television
from the foot the bed. Amber sat next to her.
"I think I know what he's looking for," Amber said, getting up.
"What?" Smasher asked, sitting up in a nearby chair.
"I'll explain later," Amber said. She went over to the dresser and got
Poké-Kong's ball. "C'mon, we'lll have to go out and find him."
"Oh, I don't think we'll have to worry about that," Heidi said. She and
Smasher got up and slowly backed over to the door.
"Why not?" Amber asked.
Poké-Kong shoved his hand through the window and grabbed Amber. He pulled
his hand out of the room and began to climb up the building.
"He took Amber!" Smasher exclaimed.
"No duh, Sherlock!" Heidi exclaimed back. "We'll have to go up and save
her!" She pulled a PokéBall from inside her blouse. "Go, Star Shot!"
A huge Aerodactyl appeared in a flash of light. She had it kneel down and
she climbed onto its back.
"Hop on," she said.
Smasher climbed on behind Heidi. She shifted into a position that he didn't
particularly feel comfortable with her being in. Smasher didn't have time
to complain as Heidi immediately commanded Star shot to take off. They flew
out the hole in the wall and up the building after Poké-Kong. Shuriken flew
up after them. Poké-Kong was practically all the way up the building.
"If we attack now, he might drop Amber," Smasher said. "Then we can swoop
in and save her! Shuriken! Gaurdrail Smash!"
"Star Shot! Wing Attack!" Heidi commanded.
Shuriken zoomed forward, spinning in the air. The Staryu slammed into
Poké-Kong's side skateboard-first. Star Shot soared straight for the giant
Primeape before making a sharp turn, flinging stone scales at Poké-Kong.
Poké-Kong held on tightly as the attacks hit. Unable to counter-attack
while holding onto Amber, he climbed onto the roof of the building.
"We'll go around for another pass," Heidi said. "Star Shot, Hyp-"
The object on Heidi's wrist started ringing.
"What's that?" Smasher asked.
"PokéGear," Heidi answered. "It's the latest technology." She pressed a
button on her PokéGear and it opened up. "Hello?"
"Stop attacking!" Amber's voice commanded over the PokéGear. "I know why he
came to get me!"
"Why?" asked Smasher.
"Remember the look in his eyes when he first saw me?" Amber asked.
"You mean the one where his eyes turned into pink hearts?" Smasher
confirmed. "Yeah, what about it?"
"Don't you see? He's in love with me! He looking for me so we can run off
and be alone together!"
"That almost sound romantic," Heidi said. "Except for the fact that he's a
"I'll have to set him straight," Amber said. "Maybe if I explain to him how
it won't work out, he'll calm down and we can catch him again."
"Or he'll go on a bigger rampage and destroy the city," Smasher pointed out.
"I'm going to try anyway," Amber said, hanging up.
"I guess we wait," Heidi said.
Star Shot flapped its wings, holding its position in the air. They watched
as Amber talked with Poké-Kong. The giant ape suddenly lost his balance and
fell off the building. Amber used the PokéBall to catch Poké-Kong before he
hit the ground. Star Shot landed nearby her.
"I guess I was a tad too blunt," Amber said, scratching the back of her
"A comedic anime prat-fall off of a several story building," Smasher said.
"What a way to go."
"But he's not dead," Heidi pointed out.
"No, but his career is," Schubotcher said, stepping out onto the roof. "I
remember when Andrew Labosi went on a rampage. After that, he couldn't even
get arrested in this town."
"I thought you left for Aopulco," Amber said.
"I forgot my dry cleaning," Schubotcher replied.
"I guess we'll be returning Poké-Kong to Giant Primeape Island, then," Amber
said, climbing onto Star Shot's back. Smasher climbed off. "Aren't you
"Nah," said Smasher. "I think I've had my fill of Giant Primeape Island.
It's time I moved on, to seek out new life and new civilizations.... To
boldly go where no man has gone before! Besides, I think your girlfriend's
trying to come on to me and it's kinda weirding me out."
"Heh. Yeah, right," Amber chuckled. Star Shot took off into the air and
"She came on to you?" Schubotcher asked.
"Yeah," Smasher said. They started back over to the stairs. "Back stage at
the theatre. She was all over me. Anything like that happen to you?"
"Oh, sure," Schubotcher lied. "Hundreds of times. Wanna get a pizza?"
"Y'know, Mr. Schubotcher, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful
To be continued....