From: lordlocke@my-deja.com (lordlocke@my-deja.com)
Subject: [PW!]Setting Sail... Finally
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
Date: 2000/03/15
Today, for Cinnibar Island, was a day of celebration, a day of joy.
For a whole week they had to put up it. A week of misery. A week of
terror. A week of dropping property values. But now, it was over. It
was leaving. The most terrible, horrible, evil thing of... well,
terrible, horrible, evil things...
The Barely Floating Piece of Crap.
On Deck...
"Matey, who's still missing?"
"Just about everyone, captain."
Captain Hole was mightly pissed. He had told his crew explicitly to
be back on the ship at 09:00 this very day. It was now 09:01, and only
Matey, himself, and a few others were aboard.
"Matey, my megaphone."
"Yes captain." Matey handed Captain Hole the Biggest Damn Megaphone
You Ever Did See(TM)
Captain Hole turned the volume setting a notch past 'earbleed' and
pulled down the trigger. "THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING! IF YOU LOW-
LIFE GOOD FOR NOTHING CREWMEN AREN'T ABOARD THIS SHIP IN LESS THEN TWO
MINUITES, I'M SETTING SAIL WITHOUT YA!"
A loud cheering was heard from within the town.
Matey shook his head. "Captain, I think that's what they want."
"Quite right." Captain Hole lifted the megaphone up
again. "CORRECTION, I WILL FIND YOU AND ADD THREE MORE MONTHS TO YOUR
TERMS OF SERVICE."
Suddenly, over 20 crewmen appeared aboard the ship.
Captain Hole turned to Matey. "Now who's missing?"
Matey took a quick check of the new arrivals. "Demieo Locke's the
only one not presant, sir. Oh, and our passanger, Newton Haights."
"Well, FIND THEM! Take Chef with you. If they try to run, paralyze
them."
"Aye Captain! Come on, Chef." Matey, with the Magnmite following
close behind.
At the Pokemon Poets Agency, Cinnibar Branch...
"Well?"
Demieo wrung his hands nervously.
"Hmmm..." The editor of Pokepoetry Monthly looked over the paper
containing Demieo's work. "..."
"Well?"
"... excellent work. Especially this one."
"Which one?"
"The one titled "Who Ever Said Hell Involved Fire" I can almost
visualized a hell floating on the high seas...
Demieo muttered under his breath. "If you only knew..."
"What was that?"
"Nothing, sir."
"Well, this one's going in our next issue."
"Really?" Demieo grabbed the editor's hand. "Thank you thank you
thank you! You don't know what this means to me!"
Suddenly, the doors swung open.
"HEYA MR. LOCKE! There's someone outside for you."
Gads sighed. He had wondered exactly how well the line 'wait here
until I come back' would work on something as dim as Newton Haights.
If he was lucky, TBFPOC would be long-gone before he realized what
happened. "Who is it?"
"It's that nice Matey fellow. He says if you don't get moving,
you'll be forced aboard The Barely Floating Piece of Crap for ANOTHER
three months. Not that I see anything wrong with that..."
"Eep." In a flash, Demieo was out the door, running top-speed
towards the ship.
The editor just looked stunned. "Did you say 'The Barely Floating
Piece of Crap?'"
Newton nodded.
"No WONDER this poem was so good. He DOES have experiance."
Back at the ship...
*Huff huff* *Gasp* *Wheeze* "I'm here captain... sorry..."
Captain Hole gave Demieo 'The Look' "I guess I'll let you off...
this time."
"Thank you captain!" It took all of Demieo's will power to keep from
groveling at Captain Hole's feet.
"We set sail for Vermillion City NOW!"
Matey tapped Captain Hole's shoulder. "Are you SURE it's Vermillion
City this time?"
"Positive. I checked the charts Navi drew up for us."
From below the deck, you could hear the happy sounds of a Jigglypuff
doodling aimlessly on the walls, while being chased by the destinct
buzzing noise of a chainsaw.
Matey bigsweatted. "Uh... yeah."
Captain Hole moved to the front of the ship, then put one foot on the
bow, giving a dramatic pose. "We sail ONWARD!"
"AYE CAPTAIN!"
Those of you on the seas beware, for it's most menacing menace
returns to it's home on those rocky waters...
The Barely Floating Piece of Crap.
TBC?
(OOC: S.S. Anne, here we come! Technically, TBFPOC will be in the
event... just not aboard the SS Anne ^_^)
From your friendly, neighborhood LORDLOCKE