From: Adrian Tymes (wingcat@pacbell.net) Subject: [PW!] Steal ideal Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2000/07/09 *beep* *beep* *whiiiIIIiiine* "OK, UMM, SO, LIKE, THE FIRST PART OF THE CONTEST IS YOUR BASIC RUNWAY SHOWOFF. LADIES, COME OUT AND STRUT YOUR STUFF AS I CALL YOUR NAMES, OK?" To host an event like this had been a long-time dream of his. Several gorgeous women, competing for his attention and affection. While he doubted any of them would offer bribes on their own (whether cash or...other considerations), he would not turn them down if they did. Not that it would necessarily affect his judging, especially if more than one of the contestants came pleading to him, cute eyes begging for his praise... He was just glad there were no Officer Jennys or Nurse Joys in this competition. Others in his family had taught him to tell one Joy from another, and one Jenny from another, but they were all so beautiful. His inherited squint-eyes smiled at the daydream...but he had a contest to run. Knocking a bit of sand off the bottom of his feet, he debated again whether he should have worn his usual threads - but, no, his swimsuit was practically a uniform for activities on the beach, and it was not like his body was anything to be ashamed of. More than one admirer had said he had abs of granite. "LADY A!" He looked again at the sheet...no, that was what it said. "OBVIOUSLY TOO SHY TO USE HER REAL NAME, SO LET'S GIVE HER A HAND GETTING OUT HERE!" As the crowd applauded - more to show appreciation that the contest was finally actually starting - Slate [1] sat back in his chair to enjoy the show. ["Sign on the ditted line" scene switch] "LADY Z!" If this was *another* of the exact same... It was. "OK, WILL ALL OF THE WOMEN WHO LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE LADY ON STAGE PLEASE COME ON STAGE NOW! I WANT TO MAKE SURE THERE WASN'T A MISCOUNT, AND THAT THIS ISN'T THE SAME CONTESTANT RE-ENTERING HERSELF." Countless seemingly identical duplicates flooded the stage, each one more alike than the various Jennys and Joys (since, unlike the humans, these dittos were actively and intentionally adjusting themselves to be the same template). "WOULD ONE OF YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN HOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN YOU? YOU ALL HAVE THE SAME LOOKS, THE SAME SWIMSUIT, AND SEEM TO HAVE THE SAME PERSONALITY...unless I'm wrong, and one of you starts stripping or something..." The television producer in charge of broadcasting this event had, back in his salad days as a journalist, interviewed the parents of Sabrina, who had just gotten married and taken over the local pokemon gym at the time. As a demonstration of their powers, they gave him a minor psychic gift: the ability to sense imminent danger. That was the only thing that let him hit the "CENSOR" button in time. A few minutes later, as medics carried off a good portion of the male audience (and more than one female audience member), Slate shook his head at the front of the stage. Decades of training with rock pokemon gave him a concrete will when he needed it, though he countered this by usually being so laid back that people thought he was stoned. "I'm sorry, girls, but this simply will not do. Causing the audience's noses to burst and bleed until comas set in does disqualify you, according to the rules under 'attacking the audience'." The pseudo-human mass in front of him let out a collective dissapointed sigh, melted into one large pink mass, and drained away in different directions. Slate walked back to his chair. That had actually eliminated most of the competitors...but that was almost the only good news. The rest of the list seemed mainly - though not entirely - to be composed of women that his contacts told him were high-ranking Rockets. He just hoped they would keep this from turning into another Rocketfest, but he had to restrain an urge to delay while he called in extra security. Ticking them off might cause what he sought to avoid. Oh, well, nothing for it now...but maybe if he started with one of the non-Rockets, it would not be so bad. "ALRIGHT, LET'S *REALLY* GET STARTED NOW! FIRST UP, MAGGIE!" He winced as 'Maggie' came on stage. He recognized her immediately: the pokemon murderer. And he feared for his own safety if he ratted on her now. TBC? [1] For those that missed the ep: this is Brock's dad. Like son, like father, ne? ^_-