From: Andrusi is in love with Tikal (andyvvv@aol.comagnemite) Subject: [PW!] Take Me Back To Cerulean City Where The Pokéballs Talk And The Oatmeal's Gritty Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2000-08-22 16:49:07 PST [PW!] Take Me Back To Cerulean City Where The Pokéballs Talk And The Oatmeal's Gritty "Ungh..." PK Ball struggled to regain conciousness. This went on for several hours; then he realized that it is impossible for a Pokéball to be knocked out in the first place. This came as a great relief to him. He took a moment to reflect on his travels so far. First, there had been the female guard at the Pokéball prison, who had grossly overreacted to a display of power. Afterwards, he had been attacked by two "trainers" and a Magnemite for no reason he could discern. Next, the slave master in the "gym" had beaten him in a match of wits (and managed to stay silent the whole time). Then, he had been defeated by the dishonorable warrior Geodudoo after a fierce battle. Now he had landed button-first on a gravel path. "That hurt." PK Ball slowly floated up and looked around. "ACK!" The act of turning had caused incredible pain to the Pokéball. "I must be in worse condition than I thought." He looked down at himself... or at least he tried, but (being a spheroid) he couldn't possibly look at himself under any circumstance. PK noticed a mirror nearby. "Thanks, lazy writer," he said to nobody really (and he's quite welcome). And so he looked in the mirror and saw... Well, suffice it to say that this collectible wasn't exactly MISB. He needed some help. He needed somebody who could fix him. "I need a repairman." He picked a random building and floated in. Yuji Pika was quite absorbed in the process of arguing with a repairman. Once more, his equipment had been poorly repaired, the result being that a level from a video game he was working on had accidentally been deleted. This wasn't much of a problem, as the name "Genocide City Zone" was too controversial anyway and the level wasn't turning out well, but it was annoying--and besides, he had a feeling Wood Zone would be deleted next. The repairman, on the other hand, simply stated that the fault lay with Yuji, for hiring a bicycle mechanic to repair microcircuitry instead of the computer engineer who would have been better for the job. Of course, he couldn't have done so, because Segastly had given him such a limited budget for everything--even the comic books it had authorized were going down the tube. And so he was frustrated. So frustrated that he did not notice an extra item among those which he told the man to repair. Nor did he realize that the money he'd paid was a bit too much, by approximately the cost of a Pokéball. Having been repaired, PK skittered out of the Cerulean Bike Shop, scaring the [biological waste] out of the repairman. "Ah, I feel much better now," PK said. "I guess now I need to find some way to continue my work." Just then, a pair of teenagers walked by. One of them said, "Wow, I just got my Cascadebadge by beating Misty which involves defeating two trained water-type Pokémon that are kept in Pokéballs without the Pokéballs' consent!" "Wow," said the other. "I hope someday I can beat Misty who's at the Cerulean Gym which you can get to by taking a right at the Pokémon Center and going three blocks and turning left and it'll be the really big building on the right." PK gave a thumbs-up (which is very difficult when you have no hands) and said, "Thanks again!" By the way, PK, you're welcome (again). And so he floated off towards the Cerulean City Gym... ...but got caught in the magnetic field of a Magnemite, thereby altering his course so that he collided with a lost Pikachu trying to find Viridian Forest. And since he was a Pokéball, this resulted in a sucessful capture. PK released the Pikachu. "All right you, go away." The Pikachu didn't go away. "Pika pika!" it cheered happily. "Shoo!" "Chu!" "No, not chu, shoo!" "Pi pika! Chu!" "Get outta here!" PK floated away. The Pikachu followed him. "Chu! Pika!" A horrible thought occurred to PK. "Wait a sec. I accidentally caught you... and now you're following me around..." Suddenly his jaw dropped, which in Pokéball terms means he fell open and a bunch of dust fell in and stuck to places he couldn't possibly get it out of. "Does this mean... you're mine now?" "Chu!" the Pikachu responded cheerily. "And out of all the Pokémon I could have caught, I ended up with YOU?" "Chu chu!" "Oh, for the love of the Master Ball..." "Pika." "Well, I suppose I should give you a name. How about Sparky?" The Pikachu shook its head. "Chu." "Um... Electro?" "Chu." "Mickey?" "Chu." PK became annoyed. "Okay, how about Ugly Overrated Stupid Useless Way-too-cute Idiotic Marketing Mascot?" he suggested sarcastically. The Pikachu jumped up and down. "Pika! Pika!" "You LIKE that?" "Pika!" it said happily. "Great. Not only do I get no respect from anyone, but I'm stuck with this idiot of a Pokémon. Oh well, I guess I'll call you Ugly or Overrated or Stupid or Useless or Idiotic or Marketing for short." He sighed (a distinctly unPokéballish thing). "Come on, Marketing, let's go to the Cerulean Gym and hope that having you around doesn't make me look like a total idiot. At least now I have a little more power than just my own strength." "Pika! Pika pikachu!" TBC On the next PK Ball: PK and Idiotic go to the Cerulean City Gym. But will they be able to defeat Misty? Find out on our next episode: "PK Loses Again"! -Andrusi &&