From: RobfromVoid (RobfromVoid@prodigy.net) Subject: [PW!] The Trouble With Talking Pokemon Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2000/03/17 A Slowpoke wearing black backpack, a pink bonnet, a red pacifier and a white diaper sits on top of a table covered with Pokemon toys on the second floor of a two-story house in Saffron City. Growing tired of sucking on the contraption that reminds him of his mother, whom he's glad that he killed using his psychic powers, Luthor the Slowpoke spits out his pacifier and murmurs, "I don't see how my wearing such childish clothing contributes to Mr. Luthor's scheme for World Domination. Then again, who am I to question Mr. Luthor? He has been trying to take over the world longer than I have. But then again again, wouldn't that mean that he's bad at it? I'll give him one more chance before destroying him." Downstairs, a little girl in a green jumpsuit with her hair in pigtails walks into the house. On her way upstairs with a small green dress hanging from her arm, she bumps into her mother's legs and falls back. She stands up, rubbing her butt, "Hi lady." "Copycat! I told you last Sunday to get rid of that smelly Slowpoke and it's still there!" Copycat's mother wags her finger at her daughter, "I'm not touching that hideous thing. If you don't take it to the Saffron Gym Psychic Pokemon Adoption Center today, I'm not going to let you celebrate Green Oddish Day! It may be 5th Grade Skip Day, but the Luck of the Oddish won't be with you if you don't get rid of that Slowpoke NOW!" She points upstairs and taps her foot. "I'm not touching that hideous thing." Copycat repeats as she heads upstairs, wondering what hideous means. When she arrives at her room, she holds up the small green dress that she bought for Luthor, "Happy Green Oddish Day! Ya gotta wear this or else they're gonna pinch ya when I take ya to the Saffron Gym! My lady wanna punish me if I don't do take ya, so I gotta!" Seconds later, Luthor nods, "I heard your secretary yelling at you, Mr. Luthor. I know all about Mercy's martial arts abilities, and I wouldn't want to be punished by her myself. But why do you want me to wear a green dress?" Luthor thinks for a moment, "I know! It's all part of an intricate plot to take over the world! You *are* just as brilliant as I am, Mr. Luthor. I am still glad that I named myself after you, even though you'e not as menacing as Superman Comic Books make you seem." Copycat nods whilst giggling, then forces Luthor into the green dress, saying, "It's all part of an intricate plot to take over the world!" She grabs the dress-clad Slowpoke in her arms, and hugs him close as she heads downstairs. Her mother gives a nod of approval as Copycat heads out of the house carrying Luthor. Copycat skips as she heads down Saffron City streets, trying to remember where Saffron Gym is located. She pauses and gasps when she sees a Dragonite hovering around the streets with a leather knapsack across his chest. A Meowth is running right below the Dragonite, trying to keep up with the Dragon Pokemon who is intentionally hovering slowly. "Cuties!" Copycat chases the duo through the doors of the Saffron City Gym. The tall Dragonite stands before the receptionist of the Saffron Gym, a woman wearing glasses and a lab coat. The Dragonite opens his mouth and speaks, "Hello, miss, my name is Drake. I'm trying to I'm looking for Pokemon who know how to Teleport that have a greater carrying capacity than an Abra. Heck, they should also be stronger than Alakazam - those things might have mental strength, but if all of them are as physically weak as the two I know, they can barely hold up their own spoons." When the receptionist's answer is a silent dropping of her jaw, the Dragonite says, "Yes, obviously I can talk. I don't have to be a mind-reader to know that that was the rhetorical question you were going to ask me. I've heard it many a time." "No, I'm just wondering about the Slowpoke wearing a dress and a bonnet behind you." The receptionist points at Copycat. Drake turns around to see the little girl with Luthor the Slowpoke in her arms. Drake's face shows intrigue, "Hello." "Hello." Repeats Copycat, awaiting further phrases to copy. Before Drake can say anything else, however, the Slowpoke in Copycat's arms speaks up, addressing the Dragonite, "My, my, this world hasn't been kind to you, Fin Fang Foom. You have quite a beer belly. Yet you're as foolish as ever. The ability to Teleport is an awesome mental feat, entrusted only to those with vast mental capacity. I wouldn't find it shocking if I'm the only being in this Universe who knows how to Teleport." Drake finds himself in the same position as just about every human he's ever talked to, "You can speak English?" Before Luthor's slow thought-process is finished, the Dragonite figuratively kicks himself, "I promised myself I wouldn't ever ask that!" "Of course Luthor can speak English!" The Slowpoke hops out of Copycat's arms. When he falls flat onto the floor, he struggles to stand up on two legs while saying, "You shall soon witness Luthor's unquestionable near-omnipotence, Fin!" While Luthor fruitlessly attempts to stand up, finding it particularly hard to do whilst wearing an elaborate green dress, the Psychic receptionist steps out from behind her desk and lifts Luthor off the ground, saying, "I'm certain that Sabrina would love to own a talking Slowpoke, even though what he says is nonsense. You can't expect too much from Slowpoke - they're kind of slow. Thanks for bringing in such a fine specimen, little girl." The receptionist heads towards Sabrina's chamber. "Wait!" Drake shouts at the receptionist, while hovering towards her. Copycat repeats this order, genuinely meaning it, "Wait!" Drake explains his reason for saying it first, "That Pokemon said he could Teleport, and even though he's obviously insane, he might be telling the truth about that! He could help me start my delivery business." Copycat then explains why she told the Psychic to wait, "He's obviously insane, but I luv him! Ya gotta put him in the Adoption Center, thats what lady said!" The Psychic receptionist opens the doors to Sabrina's chamber and says, "If either of you want to keep this cross-dressing talking Slowpoke, you're going to have to take it up with Sabrina." She heads into Sabrina's room and slams the doors shut. When the echo of the doors being slammed shut dies down, Copycat starts crying, "Waaah! I think Sabrina's... she's... she's gonna pinch him even though... even though he's wearin' green! Waaah!" Copycat then hugs Drake's leg and through watery eyes says, "Ya just gotta save him, ya big cutie Pokemon! Ya just gotta! Then ya gotta take good care of him and make sure he gets fed and gets his diapers changed every single day, just like I did! Pleasey weasy with a cherry on top?" -Luthor