From: Karnivax (karnivax@my-deja.com) Subject: [PW!] The Uninvited Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2000-08-19 08:41:01 PST (OOC: Car'tos directed me to some site with all the stats for the G/S Pokémon. Seeing how many good Pokémon they screwed over, I don't think that's there's much I'm going to be tempted to upload from Yellow... O_O) Enzo watched intently and mused to himself about how there was a Goddish as the brainwashed Jessica turned the shower on and stood underneath the flow of water. Enzo's private show was brought to a screeching halt, however, as someone knocked loudly on the bathroom door. "Master Vincenzo!" a panicked voice shouted. "What is it, Carlton?" Enzo shouted over the hiss of the shower. "I'm busy here!" "We have an intruder on the premises!" Carlton responded. "Then dispatch th' attack dogs!" "I did, sir! He defeated them all with two Pokémon!" Enzo sighed angrily. "I'll deal wit' this, Carlton. Get back to work makin' dinner." He then commanded, "Jess, get out o' th' shower. I think Kyle's comin' for ya..." Jessica obediently turned the water off and marched right back out of the shower. Naturally, Enzo did not offer her a towel. Meanwhile, Enzo's front door collapsed as it was struck with a mighty Hyper Beam from Grendel the Aerodactyl. Clavicle entered first with his femur weapon drawn. As if some busy street stood before them, Kyle and Grendel looked both ways before following. The entry hall was remarkably silent. Clavicle glanced back at Kyle as if to say "What now?" "Enzo!!!" Kyle bellowed. "Get your scrawny ass over here!" Inside the bathroom and making final arrangements for Kyle's visit, Enzo heard Kyle's shout, but he did not respond to it. He took off Kyle's stolen belt and dropped it on the floor. Then he removed a Pokéball from his own belt and released Morpha the Ditto. "Morpha, Jess mode," Enzo commanded. "Now." Morpha took a look at the soaked Jessica and Transformed immediately into her, sans soakage. The likeness was perfect, except that Morpha looked like Jessica pre-Hypnosis. Enzo sighed, "With th' clothes on, please, Morpha. This is jus' too much o' a good thing..." Morpha shrugged. She did not know quite how to emulate clothing when her target was not wearing any. Enzo took Jessica's clothes and handed them to Morpha. "Then put these on. Can ya handle that?" "Dit to!" Morpha said in Jessica's voice. She speedily put on Jessica's clothes, complete with belt and six Pokéballs bearing the letter J. Enzo opened the bathroom door and bade Morpha exit. On his way out, he told Jessica: "Jus' stay here an' pretend some pervert artist is drawin' a picture o' ya." Less than a minute later, Enzo appeared in the entry hall with his arm around a smiling Jessica duplicate. "You!" Kyle thundered. He charged like a mad bull toward Enzo. Enzo, however, cut the charge short by putting Morpha in between himself and Kyle. "What do ya want?" Enzo asked irritably of Kyle. "My girlfriend and my Pokémon, among other things," Kyle growled, backing off a bit. "Ah-ah, she's *my* girlfriend now," Enzo chuckled. "Or, more precisely, my fiancée." "Funny, I don't see a ring on her finger," Kyle observed. "I didn't have a ring ready when I proposed," Enzo claimed. "But she understood. See, she's grown to love me." Morpha gave Enzo an impromptu kiss on the cheek. "Oh, I love ya too," a rather surprised Enzo responded. "I'm sure that once she breaks free of whatever mind control you've used on her, she'll reconsider," Kyle stated. "Yeah, well, I won't deny that this dream relationship had a little hypnotic help," Enzo said. "But ya know, real love is overrated." He looked up at the ceiling in thought. "I think o' love as a milkshake. Why waste time an' money makin' it out o' milk an' sugar when ya can get similar results from guar gum an' high-fructose corn syrup?" Kyle grabbed Enzo's neck. "Could we cut to the chase here?" He slowly brought one fist back. Realizing that his Scyther form was not an option at the moment, Enzo looked at Morpha and choked, "Jess, how would ya like to beat th' hell outta yer ex-boyfriend?" He let go of Morpha, who promptly knocked Kyle away with a sharp kick to the face. Clavicle and Grendel advanced upon the bastardized Jessica, but Kyle waved them off. Morpha picked Kyle up and slammed him up against the nearest wall. She punched him in the face once, twice, thrice. Kyle slid to the floor. "Jessica, stop it!" he weakly shouted. "You don't know what you're doing!" Morpha countered, "I do." She backed off a bit before rushing up and kicking Kyle in the ribs. Grendel could stand by no longer. Something was missing from this Jessica's scent...namely, its usual Scyther undertones. Grendel waved one wing and fired a volley of razor-edged scales at Morpha. The scales became embedded in her body and legs, but no blood came forth. "Grendel, you -" Kyle cut himself off as he saw splotches of pink goo where the scales had broke flesh. The scales popped right out of Morpha's body, and the wounds healed instantly. "A Ditto!" Kyle shouted. "Clavicle, Grendel, it's clobberin' time!" The Marowak and the Aerodactyl charged and proceeded gleefully to maul Jessica's simulacrum. The bleeding Kyle stood up and again grabbed Enzo by the neck, tighter this time. "Where's Jessica?" Kyle snarled. Again Kyle's stranglehold was broken, this time when Enzo nailed Kyle with a strong backhand. Kyle remained standing, only to be floored again with a left hook. "For someone who acts an' looks as big an' tough as ya, ya really are a pansy!" Enzo stomped on Kyle's already-aching ribcage to keep him down. "What's th' matter, Kyle? No chair to hit me over th' head wit'?" He gave Kyle a kick in the side, right where he had been bitten by an attack Growlithe. Kyle rolled over and clutched his side. Enzo knelt down and lifted Kyle's head up by the hair. "I should go to Scyther mode, slash yer scruffy head off, an' go about my business..." Enzo claimed. He paused in deep thought. "...But ya know, I don't think I will. See, Jess an' I had a nice, civil talk before I had her mind-controlled...an' I'm not gonna repeat my past mistakes." Enzo let go of Kyle. "We're gonna solve this th' legal way...wit' a Pokémon battle! If ya can beat me wit' th' Pokémon ya have left, I'll give back th' six I stole." "How is making me win back my own possessions legal?" Kyle grunted. "And what about Jessica?" "Keep dreamin'," Enzo shot back. "Ya want her back, ya gotta kill me first." He turned away. "An' don't throw away yer life so recklessly. Go find yerself another girl. Take it from me, kid: Jess is too good for ya! Now, will ya battle me, or should I tell my butler to start makin' dinner out o' yer Pokémon?" "All right!" Kyle snapped. "I'll battle you." His mind raced. He would find a way to save Jessica even if it was the last thing he ever did. He beamed Clavicle and Grendel back into their Pokéballs. A barely conscious Morpha lay in a heap nearby. Clavicle and Grendel had not given her even the slightest chance to Transform out of Jessica mode. "Excellent!" Enzo exclaimed. He helped the beaten Kyle to his feet. "Now come on. I've got a Pokémon gym built into my house..." As he dragged Kyle into a narrow corridor, Enzo told Morpha, "Go return those clothes." Morpha turned back into her base Ditto form and then scooped up Jessica's now somewhat tattered clothing as it fell off of her. She slowly crawled back to the bathroom with the clothing in her pseudopods. Enzo led Kyle past a multitude of expensive-looking doors all the way to the end of the corridor, where a rather ordinary-looking door stood. Beyond the door was an indoor Pokémon stadium. The arena boundaries were formed by strips of metal, and the floor inside the boundaries was covered in clay like a tennis court. At either end of the arena were Indigo League-like trainer towers. Running down the lengthwise walls of the giant rectangular room were two sets of bleachers. Giant halogen lamps were suspended from the ceiling. "I'm gonna go fetch Jessica," said Enzo. "Stay right here." As Enzo left, he pressed a button on a small control panel outside the room. Heavy steel barriers came down over all of the stadium's doors. Kyle slowly turned around and struggled to climb to the top of the nearest trainer pillar. _Enzo couldn't possibly be stupid enough to bring Jessica within range of rescue, could he?_ he thought as he looked down over the clay arena. _He's probably just going to get that Ditto of his again. I've got to get out of here and find the real deal._ He glanced at one of the steel barriers. _It would take a week for Grendel to knock down something that thick. Goliath could probably pull it off, but I doubt he's going to do what I say. Ares could smash through it in no time...of course, he's not an option._ He pondered. _Maybe...if I froze it...!_ He quickly tossed one of his Pokéballs toward the nearest door. "Wildwing, I choose you!" he shouted. And from the spheroid came a humble Psyduck. "Psy?" Wildwing stared vacantly at the massive steel panel that stood before him. "Duck..." "Wildwing, use your Ice Beam to freeze that barrier!" Kyle commanded. "Psy!" came Wildwing's confident quack. He filled his tiny lungs with air before leaning forward and launching from his bill an Ice Beam the size of a candy bar. The Ice Beam did little more than leave an insignificant splotch of frost on the wall. Kyle sighed. "This day has just been one long suck-fest..." He recalled Wildwing and sat down on top of the tower. Ten minutes later, the steel panels lifted, and the door opened. Enzo entered with Jessica...or, for all Kyle knew, a reasonable facsimile. Enzo was once again wearing Kyle's stolen belt in addition to his own. Enzo climbed to the top of the other tower, and whoever it was who looked like Jessica followed. Enzo leaned on the railing and plucked a Pokéball from his belt. "Let's get started, shall we?" --K * A * R * N * I * V * A * X-- "Some have said there is no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead." --Jaya Ballard, task mage