From: Brian (email@example.com)
Subject: [PW!] Toxic Showdown
Date: 2000-08-31 13:55:17 PST
Our heroes (heroes?) were lost, confused, befuddled, and otherwise unhappy in
Koga's devious gym. They found themselves the victims of more traps, false
doors, and invisible walls than Team Rocket. And just when they thought they
had it all figured out, they're back where they started. Can they find their
way out (or in)? Can they defeat Koga? Will Burger King ever come out with a
Sandshrew BK Meal toy? You'll find the answers (some of them anyway) in this
story! So read on for the next exciting adventure in…..
Starring Procyon and Taron
with Suikuaktu as Himself
It was a sound that Procyon and company were getting very used to, as of late.
"Ow" is the signal that humans use to indicate pain, and that signal was
getting plenty of overuse in Koga's mansion.
"What is it?" Taron wanted to know.
"@#!$# invisible walls," said Procyon. "How come you don't run into
everything under the sun?"
"Simple," Taron said. "For me, all walls are invisible. So what's so
different about this place?"
Procyon had to admit that made sense, but it didn't help his current situation
any. He rubbed his nose gingerly. "Ow.."
"Stop complaining," Taron advised him. "There's no need to whine about every
little thing you bump into in here. We'll be - OW!"
"Here's an idea," said Suikuaktu. "Why doesn't someone walk around with a long
stick, like this, so we can feel for the invisible walls before we run into
"That's not a bad idea."
"No kidding." He grinned. "Now then, let's just see if we can't get out of
this- AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!" he screamed as he fell through a trapdoor and landed
with a loud thump at the bottom.
"Just stop snickering and get me out of this hole, all right?"
TWO HOURS LATER
Sorry, that's not going to do it, it took them longer than that.
FOUR HOURS LATER
"Careful, it's probably a trick door."
"Don't you think I know that? I know what I'm doing." Procyon sweatdropped,
but Taron reached out for the handle-
-and it opened.
The trio made their way wonderingly into the giant room, jumping at every
sound. They were all thoroughly paranoid as a result of their extended stay in
the house of horrors. Suddenly they heard a voice behind them. All three
jumped and whirled on the speaker.
"Took you long enough," he said. "My name is Koga. Are you my challengers?"
"YOU put all those traps there?!" demanded Taron.
He shrugged. "Why not? I'm not going to let just anyone challenge me. I
have to make sure they're competent. Considering how long it took you to get
this far, I have my doubts, but I have to battle you anyway according to League
Rules. So, who's first?"
"I AM!" shouted Taron, reaching for a Pokeball. "We spent six hours in this
#$@! house of mirrors! You're going DOWN! Tumbleweed, I choose.. huh?"
"Tumbleweed! What are you doing?! Get up and fight!"
"Oh. Well, I guess I wasn't really paying attention. How many Whoppers did
you eat, anyway?"
"Uh-uh! How can ONE Sandshrew eat eighteen Whoppers in a single sitting?"
"Well, no, I guess you weren't really sitting. Look, the point is-"
"*I'll* battle you," Procyon said firmly. "Taron can go after his Sandshrew
recovers from lunch, but for now I'm more than a match for you."
"Fine," said Koga, bored by now. "Let's just get this match over with. Go,
He threw a Pokeball, and obediently a Muk came out. "Muk!" it declared.
Koga stood proudly, waiting for his opponent's Pokemon. It took him a moment
to realize that all three kids were snickering at him. Finally Suikuaktu could
restrain himself no longer. He began rolling on the floor, bursting with
laughter. "What's so funny?!" the ninja master demanded.
"You're using…. an… Ash Pokemon…." laughed Taron. "Only losers use….
Ash Pokemon. What a… loser…. Hahaha!!"
Procyon recovered long enough to look over at Taron. "Hey, don't you have a
"Shut up! Butterfree is awesome!! And anyway, now he's…."
"Yeah, I know, I forgot." He faced Koga again. "All right, if you
want to use a Muk, that's fine. For my Pokemon, I'll
A blue Chansey materialized in an explosion of light.
"Muk, uh… Sludge!"
"MUK!!" A great glob of greasy grimy goop sailed through the air and landed
on the unfortunate Chansey.
"Yuck... Chansey, shake off that junk and Pound it."
"Uh… yeah, okay, you're right. Maybe Pounding it wouldn't be such a great
It nodded, relieved. "Chansey… chan…. Sey… chan… sey… chansey chan
A song worthy of a Jigglypuff. The Muk fell dreamily into a mucky daze.
"Ok, Blueberry, NOW Pound it!"
"I don't care how slimy it is, just hit it!"
"What do you mean? Ergh… fine… use your Doubleslap attack."
"Well we can't just Sing it to death! We have to do SOMETHING! …..maybe
you could throw your egg at it?"
"Okay, calm down, I didn't mean it for real. Let's see…"
"Are you planning on doing something any time soon?" Koga wanted to know. "If
you don't go, you forfeit the match and I win."
"Yeah yeah, just hang on a second. Now, let's see… hm…" He looked up.
"Chansey? See that Muk? I think that Muk eats scrambled eggs for breakfast
every day. Yep! Every morning, gets up, goes to the table, and eats a nice
big plate of scrambled-"
It was all over. The Muk never had a chance.
"Wow," said Koga. "I've never seen a Chansey do that before."
"Neither have I," admitted Procyon. "Except just once. Oh well…"
"Um, right. Look, here's your Soul badge, and if you want you can have the
He stuck out his tongue. "Er, no thanks. Why don't you just keep that one
for now. I'll be satisfied with my badge." He pinned it proudly to his
"Fine." He looked at Suik. "You next?"
He shook his head. "Thanks, but no thanks. He's the guy you want." He
pointed to Taron.
A smile. "Sandshrew, eh? This should be interesting."