From: Bandraptor (bandraptor@aol.com)
Subject: [PW!] Type: Uh...Sedentary (Attn. Pokemon Pack)
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
Date: 2000/04/15
"I choose you, Hitmonchan!"
"Go, Raichu!"
A fat little boy with dirty hair and a black Dragonair Z T-shirt was standing
in the Vermilion Gym arena, opposite the monstrous Lieutenant Surge. He scowled
at his opponent's choice, annoyed that the Lieutenant had been allowed to send
out a Stage-1 evolution as his starter. No matter. Lightning Pokemon were weak
against Fighting, and Raichu only had 80 hp.
"Hitmonchan, take it down, now! Use Special Punch!"
"'Monchan?" The Fighting Pokemon sweatdropped.
"Oh, right. You don't have enough energy to do a Special Punch yet! Well, why
don't you Jab it?"
"..."
"You can't Jab, either? How about Cross Chop?"
The Hitmonchan cocked its head. "Monchan?"
"How do you do it? How should I know? Scrye and Beckett both had different
translations, and that one girl at Pokemon League wouldn't translate it for me,
because I was being an ass with Super Energy Removal!"
"Chan..."
"Okay, what moves DO you know?" The boy rummaged through his pocket, and came
up with a Pokedex. He'd gotten it from the local Pokemon expert earlier that
day, not that he trusted it, it said that Mewtwo was the world's most powerful
Pokemon. What garbage. Mewtwo was weak to its own type, and Barrier wasn't all
that great. "All right, it says here you know Comet Punch and Agility.
...Agility? Kick ass! Hitmonchan, use Agility!"
"Monchan!" the Hitmonchan nodded, relieved to hear an attack it actually knew.
It cracked its fists together, and began to jog in place.
And continued to jog in place.
And continued to jog in place.
"Ahhhh!!!! Why isn't it doing any damage?!?"
Surge and his Raichu stood at their end of the gym, slackjawed and speechless.
Surge recovered first, too experienced in combat to fall prey to diversion
tactics--not for long, anyway.
"Raichu," he nudged the mouse, who was still in shock, "give it your
Thunderbolt!"
"Thunderbolt?" The boy sniggered, "Raichu doesn't have Thunderbolt, you moron!
Only Base Set Zapdos does. You're thinking of Thunder. T-H-U-N-D-E-R."
Surge shrugged. "Whatever you say, baby. Raichu, Thunder!"
"Rai."
"ChAaAaAaAaAaAn!"
"Rai."
"cHAaAaAaAaAaN!"
"Rai."
"CHaAAaaAAAAaaAAaan!!!!!"
Three Thunder attacks later, the Hitmonchan fell smoking to the floor. The boy
quickly recalled it, and dashed away towards the Poke Center. Almost as an
afterthought, he turned back toward Surge, and screamed, "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO
FLIP A COIN!"
The door slammed shut behind him.
Surge sighed, and went to lock the door. "Closin' time at last. Now I can get
back to my Emily Dickin--HEY! What're you babies doin' still here?"
A Persian, a Raichu, two Eevees and a human all exchanged glances, then
shrugged simultaneously.
"Out! This's Surge's time!" He ushered them to the door, then after several
minutes of wondering why they hadn't exited, unlocked and opened it for them.
As soon as they were outside, the door slammed shut again.
"Purr..." Blizzard sighed,
TBC...
-Beth, of the ever changing sig.
Lone member of the Butch and Cassidy Fanclub!
Holder of 25 Zeni Points!
50 Tolerance Points!
And 20 Kanji Moder Points! (whatever those are)