From: A person in a place with a thing. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Subject: [PW!] [BBB] Again, and again, and again, and again, and...
Date: 2001-06-29 21:12:55 PST
"If Chinchou Little told you that the sky's bomb-ballin'
Even if it was would you still come running
It always happens, my friend
Again, and again, and again, and again, and--"
--"Livin' on the Lou-edgie" by Aerodactylsmith (OOC: I know, I know, lame
"We thank you for choosing Magnet Train for your transportation needs. We are
currently one minute from Goldenrod Station, so if you would return to your
seats and fasten your belts, we would be most appreciative."
Andrew yawned. For a "bullet" train, it sure took him a long time to get here
from Saffron. Anyway, he looked out the window. "Wow...Dad said Goldenrod was
big, but he never told me it was so beautiful!" Andrew marveled at the new
sights -- 'the Goldenrod Radio Tower looked so impressive!' he muttered to
himself. 'Ooh...Whitney's gym...it's getting a new coat of paint, I see . . .
Oh, wow! The Department Store is huge! Oh, is that Bill's --'
"We have arrived in Goldenrod City. If you are leaving here, please take all
items with you, as we are not liable for misplaced or stolen items. We hope
you enjoy your visit to Goldenrod City, the festive city of opulent charm."
As Andrew left the station, he was hit with the intensity of this new city.
The most crowded city he had seen, he left a few hours ago. As he walked down
Main Street, thinking of where he would go before he looked for the mysterious
people who wrote that note on the sign, he noticed a street performance on the
corner, which he decided to watch.
A tall man, dressed in the fashion of Ash Ketchum, was on the corner,
practicing throwing stances. While he did this, a short, chubby Hiker came
over from a few yards away and addressed him. "Now what are you doing?" he
"Getting ready," 'Ash' replied. "The final round's only a few days away."
"You feeling pretty confident?"
"Eh, the other trainer's a pushover."
Speculative, the Hiker asked Ash, "Well, they say the entire match is decided
by the team you pick."
"So...uh, you wanna tell me?"
"Sure. Uh... Hoo' is first, Watt's second, the third's Unown --"
"But that's what I wanna find out."
"And I say, Hoo' is first, Watt's second, and the third's Unown --"
The Hiker interrupted. "You *are* the trainer, right?"
"And you don't know what's on your team."
"I should hope I do!"
"Well then who's first?"
"I mean the name of the first one on your team."
"The one up first."
"The first one you send out."
"The one coming out --"
"Hoo' is up first!" Ash tried to clarify.
"I'm asking *you*, who's up first?"
"That's its name."
"That's *who's* name?"
"Then tell me already!"
The Hiker paused to regain composure. "Look, you got something on the first
slot on your belt?"
"Well, of course. I gotta start with something."
"Who's going out first?"
"So your Wobuffet's going first."
"No, that's out fifth."
"Uh. Well... when the first one goes out and battles, who gets experience?"
"Every point of it."
"All I'm trying to get is the guy's name that comes out first."
"The one who --"
"-- who gets the experience --"
"He does, every point. Sometimes he shares it with the others -- I *do* have
There was another pause.
"All I'm trying to find out is what ball you're gonna throw out first."
"No, Watt Ball's second."
"I'm not asking you who's up second."
"Hoo's up first."
"So what's up second?"
"Well, I usually say "Watt Ball" is up second."
"Then why don't you say what ball's up second?"
"Well, *you* said 'Watt's up second.'"
"But that's what *I'm* asking *you*!"
"Can't you figure out Watt Ball's on second?"
"Well, so far, that's unknown."
"No, the third one's Unown. We haven't gotten to it yet."
"How'd we get to third?"
"Well, you mentioned his name..."
"If I mentioned the third slot's name, who's up third?"
"No, Hoo's up first."
"*What's* up first?"
"No, Watt's up second."
"Well, that's unknown."
"There we go, back to the third one." A pause. "Let's stay on the third slot."
"Ok. What do you want to know?"
"Who's up third?"
"Why do you insist on switching first with third? The opposing trainer has 4
ground types, I have to have Hoo' up first."
"*What* up first?"
"No, Watt's up second."
"WHO'S ON SECOND?"
"Hoo' is on first."
"That's still unknown -- UP THIRD!" the Hiker blurted before Ash could correct
him. He paused again. "So tell me the third slot on your team."
"Well, you CAUGHT it, didn't you?"
"Then it is...?"
The Hiker sighed in frustration. "Well, can you at least tell me it's
The Hiker answered, sarcastically, "I dunno, I just thought I'd ASK you!"
"And I'm telling you, Y."
"Well, Y Not."
"Why, why not -- make up your -- GAH!" He thought for a second. "Far as I can
tell, they're all unknown."
"No, just the third."
"Are you even USING pokemon in this battle?"
"Yeah, he's fourth."
"And HE'S second."
"WHO IS UP SECOND?"
"Hoo' is up *first.*"
"That's *still* unknown -- UP THIRD, I know..." The Hiker sighed again. Light
"Of course it's a pokemon." A sigh. "Then who's fifth?"
Pre-emptively, the Hiker yelled, "Oooh no, we're not doing that again!"
"Never mind. Tell me the name of the thing attacking fifth."
"Well, Defense doesn't attack."
"Well, of course not, its defense."
"Um, Not attacks, but Defense doesn't. Unless Not defends, then Defense could
"Who -- oh, no." Yet another pause. The audience laughed. "And how did we
start talking about defense?"
"YOU MENTIONED HIM." It was Ash's turn to be frustrated.
"I mentioned who?"
"Uh...huh." The Hiker thought it best not to comment. "How about sixth?"
"So your last slot is empty."
"No, No-one is going sixth."
"No-one goes out sixth, then it teleports."
"Noone's there. How could it teleport?"
"Well, it's one of his moves."
"No, not Hoo's, No-one's."
Seeing the Hiker's confusion, Ash did what any reasonable trainer would do.
He gave him a bitter berry.
When he saw that didn't help, he decided to clarify. "Here, let me show you my
team." Ash took the balls off of his belt and released his team to the delight
of the audience, and the clarification of the Hiker. Hoo, the Noctowl, preened
its feathers quietly. Wattball, the Voltorb, rolled around a bit and grimaced.
(Wouldn't you, if you were a Voltorb?) Y Not, the Y-shaped Unown, did
cartwheels for the crowd -- rather odd since it tended to float in midair. The
Raichu, unimaginitively named Pokemon, bounced around on its tail and invited
the Hiker to pet it on its head. Defense the Wobuffet hung around Ash, glad
that somebody said its *true* name. And No-one, the Alakazam, with nothing
left to do, just levitated.
"Ooooh. I get it," the Hiker said, realizing. "So, let me get this straight.
The match starts, they throw out a diglett, so Hoo --" The hiker points at the
Noctowl -- "goes out, and is resistant?"
"Hoo obliterates Diglett, out comes Gyarados, so you bring out Watt to paralyze
him and then Y Not to use Hidden Power."
"That's the plan."
"But that's not working. So Pokemon comes out and Thunders it away. Out comes
a few more ground types, and you Submission them into, well, submission until
Pokemon bites it and needs revival."
"Unfortunately, yes. He volunteered though."
"Out comes Defense, who Counters everything, No-one teleports to confuse what's
left, and Defense takes care of everyone."
"OK, OK." The Hiker pondered. "Y'know, this was far too much trouble. I
don't care much about this anymore..."
"Hrrm? What'd you say?"
"I said I don't care."
"Oh, IDontCare's on backup. He's in the PC."
The Hiker screamed, amid uproarious applause.
As the performers, identified as Bud Abraott and Lou Costaryu, took their bows,
Andrew continued toward the road to Ecruteak. Chuckling to himself, he
remarked, "Why in the world would they choose an Voltorb for a League Games
team? I know it fits the joke, but...gah. The League is for balance. Stupid
bomb-ball puts all its eggs in one basket..."
Suddenly, a (rather puny-looking) Voltorb popped up from behind the Bike Shop.
"Volt..." it droned, in an attempt to sound threatening.
"Well, speak of the devil...my, you're a rather sickly-looking little thing."
As soon as Andrew said this, the Voltorb suddenly zipped up onto his shoulder
and gave it such a Mean Look. (Never mind that they don't learn that. This
was a rude Voltorb. It took moves without asking.) Before Andrew could say
anything, it blew up in his face.
Andrew rubbed the soot off his face. "Like I said, all speed, no power. Feh."
He tossed the Voltorb off his shoulder and kept walking.
And just as he got to the town border, two Electrode and a (larger) Voltorb
appeared in his way. Andrew could have sworn he heard one of them talking
about trouble or something, but he rang it up to tinnitus. "Hrrm. Nobody
called me to say the Electrodes are swarming...ok. Get out of my way." Andrew
proceeded to walk through the Electrode when one rolled toward him and knocked
him down. "What the...get outta my way." He walked, he fell. "What is it
with you two? Are you angry because I made a passing comment on your little
brother back there, or are you just naturally stubborn?"
From the heavens (or, more accurately, from the rooftops) came a, well, a swarm
of Electrodes. They surrounded Andrew three layers tall, untill all he could
see in the way of the path was red and white. The original two let out a low
"...trode..." as the path was made clear again, and the original two remained
on either side of him.
"Thank you...finally." Andrew continued on, eyeing his captors suspiciously.
As he passed the threshold to Route 36, the two Electrode Exploded, sending him
flying headfirst into a tree.
As he pried himself out of the trunk and looked back, the Electrode started
rolling toward him in droves. With every roll, they chanted,
"...lec...trode...lec...trode..." as they picked up speed toward Andrew.
Andrew knew by now that he wasn't just dealing with any normal blankheaded
Andrew knew by now that he was dealing with a blankheaded bomb-ball with
revenge on his mind.
Andrew knew by now that...it was time to run.
He took off to the north, hoping to lose the Electrode in the woods. "TRODE!"
The lead ball shouted, as the "troops" started rolling top speed in hot
pursuit. Following his first instinct, he meandered through the woods,
left-right, left-right-right-left, trying to shake them, wondering if he'd ever
lose them, and thanking goddish for adrenaline.
Unfortunately, he only had route 36 to run around in, so after a few close
calls and singed hairs, he found himself face to face with the Electrodes,
lined up in a row. The tension was thick indeed. Any sensible trainer, in
this situation, would of course do something like throw a rock at the leader,
and let them all explode like dominoes.
Andrew ran. Again.
Luckily, there was a narrow way out of Route 36 that wasn't being guarded by
the Electrode. Andrew backed away, slowly, then turned and bolted as the
Electrode charged again. He ran like the wind --
-- until he tripped over a large footprint in the ground. "Ahh shit!..."
Andrew shouted as he tumbled. He tried to get up -- "GAH!" -- but his ankle
And the Electrodes ever approached.
(OOC: Ok, Andrusi, it's showtime.)
NewHaights: NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION. NOBODY.