From: Kanji Moder - San Dimas High School Football Rules! (kanji_moder@yahoo.com) Subject: [PW!] Mary kicks Shikaku in the nuts Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2001-04-04 08:56:03 PST I'm bored on spring break, so I might as well get my ideas out while I have them in my head. When we last left the story.. "Wait! I challenge you to battle, to avenge Dick!" Ned took a glorious pose as Dick clapped. "Whatever. I'm going to destroy you." Shikaku reached for his belt and threw a pokeball at the floor. And now, the continuation of Ned must die, "Mary kicks Shikaku in the nuts". -- "Whatever. I'm going to destroy you." Shikaku reached for his belt and threw a pokeball at the floor. "Mark, peck his ass to death...wait a sec, he'd probably enjoy that.." Shikaku's Murkrow appeared and was met with Ned's two Koffings. "Koffings, double smog attack!" Ned enthusiastically shouted as if it was the last battle of his life. And it was, if something was performed inaccurately. His Koffings performed a dual smog, which clouded the air even more than it already was. "Mark, use Faint Attack." Shikaku sat down and attempted to read his manga with a small flashlight while the pokemon battled. "Oh, yeah, Mark, do whatever you think will work." "Koffings, work with Growlithe to surround the Murkrow!" Ned threw his last pokeball at the ground and the three pokemon surrounded Mark and closed in on it. "Oh my God..." Shikaku exclaimed. "She's so...wow, this drawing is very intricate." "Ned, finish it off!" Dick exclaimed. "Growlithe, get it into the hole in the floor! Koffings, explode it when it falls in!" Ned gave the command and pointed to the hole in the floor. The Koffings flew down the hole while the Growlithe tackled Murkrow in. Seconds later, a loud explosion was heard as debris came up through the hole in the floor. "Shit, what was that?" Shikaku said as his flashlight started to dim. "Great. Now I have to get a lighter to see." "No!" Ned and Dick exclaimed simultaneausly. It was too late- apparantly Shikaku forgot all about the smog that was floating aloft in the air. After that, he couldn't remember much. The loud explosion, the bright lights, his manga burning up before his eyes. Well, at least there wouldn't be too much damage. After all, the building was already burned down, right? --- The smell of anesthetics was almost too much. Shikaku *hated* the hospital, and when he found out that he was in one, well...he wasn't exactly happy. "The Boss said that if you did something like this again, you're in big trouble. I'd say you'll be demoted to black shirt." An unfamiliar woman sat cross-legged by his bedside. "Uh...I already am a black shirt. Who the hell are you, anyways?" Shikaku's vision was blurry. He had just come to, and he couldn't tell if it was a fat ugly man or a beautiful woman that was speaking to him. "I'm Mary. I've been assigned to watch you to make sure you don't screw up. But there's not much for you to screw up now, is there?" She smirked. "Wh...is this a dream?" Shikaku still hadn't completely come to. Was there really a beautiful woman sitting there, and actually talking to him? "Hey, is my manga ok?" "What manga?" She asked, looking puzzled. "Alot of stuff got trashed after you lit the lighter like an idiot. Including the building." "What? My manga is gone?!" Shikaku was extremely upset. "Well, it's nice to see you think about the important things in life. All three of your pokemon are fine." She scoffed at him as she a small bag containing pokeballs on his lap. "Wha...oh my.." Shikaku noticed exactly where on his lap she placed it and lost track of his sanity and sat there, asking himself just where she put those pokeballs. "Heh..cat got your tongue?" She asked with a small smirk. "Er..not exactly a cat.." Shikaku kept starting at Mary. "So..uh, Mary..come here often?" Now, in a normal case, Shikaku would try to flatter Mary with his wit, charm, and his inability to control his hormones. But not now. She_dropped_something in the wrong place. "You aren't a very bright one, are you? Or is it just the medication talking?" She stood up and walked out of the room. Puzzled, Shikaku looked at the contents of his lap. "Wait a second...three pokeballs?" --- After an afternoon of medical tests, release forms were signed and Shikaku got out of the hospital. "Ok, here's the deal. I'm here to make sure you don't do anything stupid I'm going to be here for a month. If I don't whip you into shape, then they're sending someone else to fix you." Mary was taking her job extra seriously. She didn't exactly know Shikaku all that well...considering all that left her mouth that he heard was something about bondage for the next month, and someone coming to castrate him. "And furthermore.." "Whoa whoa...slow down, for a second. I'm sure you're a nice girl and all, but why don't we have dinner first?" Shikaku smiled. "Did you hear anything I just told you? It's because of your stupid hormones that you got demoted, and that's why I'm here to make sure you don't screw up anymore! But instead, how about I put you back in the hospital, you asshole?!" Mark kicked Shikaku in the nuts and started to walk off. "Now hurry up, we've got a train to catch. Your next stop is Saffron City." Shikaku slowly inched his way behind her. It was going to be a long month. TBC ------- Mary Saseko's WG to be posted soon. (I hope somebody gets the joke in her name)