From: Karnivax (karnivax@my-deja.com) Subject: Re: Re: [PW!] Neo Genesis Evangémon Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2001-02-05 17:30:12 PST > "Hold it right there!" The corpulent Stevon Schpielbunk scoops Blizzard from > the ground, and carries her away, before Shrapnel can mince her body up like > catnip. The director holds the large feline out at arm's length, and examines > her from all angles, visually appraising her. "You're perfect!" He exclaims > excitedly, "No, you're better than perfect. You're Purr-fect! I want you..." he > pauses dramatically, "To be a part of my new movie!" > > Blizzard considers this proposal, then narrows her eyes. <Do you honestly > expect *anyone* to believe that an untrained thespian could waltz uninvited > onto a movie set, and immediately be offered a position as a--> > > "Gaffer!" Schpielbunk gestures towards a harried Raichu, who is using its > Thunderbolt attack to power the stage lights, "We could always use an extra > generator. Of course, if you were to sign on now, I'd expect you to accompany > us at *least* until we get to Johto..." > > "Persian..." Blizzard shrugs, deciding that even the most dehumanizing post is > worth accepting, if it will help her get to Johto. > > "Excellent." Schpielbunk drops her abruptly, "You'll be my Best Persian! And if > we ever need to test gradation, my Persian Girl as well. Now remember- -as a > member of the stage crew, you're expected to remain low-key. You'll receive no > praise, no audience recognition...but if anyone on the set screws up, be it the > actors or the caterers, it'll be your neck. Say, that gives me an idea for > another movie! I'll get Sudowoodo Allen to play the neurotic technician, with > Sylvester Stantlern as his bumbling-but-incredibly-handsome sidekick..." He > walks away, formulating his idea. > > Blizzard waits until he's gone, then struts off in search of her mantid > "friends," eager to brag about her new job... "Heh, no experience points for you, Sis," Ransack snickered as he saw Blizzard swaggering forward with eyes closed and head held high. He turned around to observe the look on Shrapnel's face...but she was not there. "...Sis?" Ransack quickly scanned the immediate vicinity and caught a glimpse of the Scizor running with her head down into a nearby alley. "What's *her* damage?" Ransack snorted. Against his better judgement, he followed her, leaving Bombshell alone to soak up the Persian's pride. Blizzard lowered her head. "Perrrsian? <<Where's the steel- belted one?>>" she asked. "Persian. <<I'm still hungry.>>" "I believe she's still reeling from your vicious assault," Bombshell answered with a kind of depressed sarcasm. The sarcasm was lost on Blizzard. "Per, perrrsian. Perrrsiannn. <<Well, I'll allow her to recuperate. There's no fun in chasing wounded prey.>> Meanwhile, in a dark corner of the nearby alley, Shrapnel was leaning against a wall. Her back turned, she failed to notice Ransack slowly approaching. "I should have seen that attack coming," Shrapnel said softly. She quickly corrected herself: "No...I should have defeated my opponent before that attack could have happened. I shouldn't have wasted time bragging about how my skill was being squandered..." She paused. "I'll redouble my training efforts..." "What's this 'should have' crap?" Ransack snorted. Surprised, Shrapnel whirled around. "Ransack...!" Ransack had never seen her look so vulnerable. Thin rust-colored streaks ran from her eyes to her chin. "You're crying!" he realized. Shrapnel turned away again. "Panopticon expects me to be the best...and I couldn't even beat a mangy alley cat..." "Sis, you're working too hard," Ransack pointed out. "How much experience could it take to whack a human? They're frail, they can't learn any attacks, they -" "You don't understand," Shrapnel interrupted. "Killing Mom is just a proving ground, a trial. Panopticon wants the world...and he'll expect me to protect him from all the obstacles along the way..." "You've seen the weapons Panop carries around! He can fend for himself!" Ransack cried. He let out a sigh, and his tone quickly softened as he continued: "You weren't always like this, Shrapnel. Initially you couldn't have cared less about Panop and your supposed obligations to him. What could have changed your mind so drastically?" The tearful Shrapnel did not reply. She only lowered her wings. Between them, there were several large dents and vertical gashes in her steel hide that were just starting to heal. And at that moment, Ransack understood just what had changed her mind. "All actors to their places!" Stevon Schpielbunk suddenly bellowed. The street outside a building adjacent to Silph became flooded with a mob of extras. Panopticon took his place among them. The other actor in the scene, a trench-coat-clad middle-aged man about whom Panopticon knew very little (he knew only that the man's character was named Decker) took his place just outside the mob. "Cue weather!" Schpielbunk ordered. At Schpielbunk's command, the Raichu gaffer stopped generating electricity to do a frenzied Rain Dance. Dark cumulus clouds quickly gathered overhead, and within a minute, a strong rain started to come down. "Quiet on the set!" Schpielbunk shouted next. When he was absolutely sure that everyone was quiet, he barked, "Marker!" A marker went up. "'Blade Sprinter' scene sixty-six," the marker- holder announced. "Take one. Action!" The crowd of extras started to run for shelter, as they had been instructed to do. Panopticon moved through the crowd as fast as he could without running. Decker, brandishing a toy gun that looked remarkably like a "Star Wars" heavy blaster, charged into the mob after him. Panopticon made his way out of the crowd and broke into a run on to a less crowded street, where a few cameras were waiting to film it all. The cyber-saur looked over his shoulder and "accidentally" plowed into two pedestrian extras. All three went down. Decker emerged from the crowd and dashed toward the fallen Panopticon. Panopticon got to his feet and resumed running. Decker aimed his "laser" at the cyber-saur, but the two extras were in Decker's line of fire. Decker ran past the extras, got down on one knee, leveled his phony gun, and shouted at Panopticon, "Stop or you're dead!" Panopticon did not stop. A harmless beam of light flew from Decker's gun...but Panopticon had already turned the corner. "Cut!!! Print it!" Schpielbunk shouted. "That was dynamite!" He started to cry with joy. "Spielberg laughed when I told him that I offered a contract right off the street to a cybernetically-enhanced dinosaur with a bad lisp! Well, who's laughing now, Steven? Let's see Industrial Light and Magic try to top *this*! Hahahahaha!" Blizzard sweatdropped as she saw Schpielbunk twirl on one foot like a big fat dreidel. "Per, perrrsiannn, <<Well, anyone this big must have lots of food on hand,>>" she reassured herself. She crawled into the trailer of Schpielbunk's massive eighteen-wheeler and started to sniff around. --K * A * R * N * I * V * A * X-- "Some have said there is no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead." --Jaya Ballard, task mage