From: Heihachi Ohashi -san \(Tech Weaver\): We've Got Pop! (zigthezigoverzig-powererzig@webtvzig.netzig) Subject: [PW][Poke-X-Mon] Rivals Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2001-04-17 00:02:06 PST Disclaimer: I did not make up Ninja Burger. Ninja Burger is the intellectual property of the Aetherial Forge. Their website can be found at http://www.ninjaburger.com Last time, in Poke-X-mon: Chet met a girl in the forest with amnesia. Finding that he couldn't help her in anyway, he dubbed the girl Valerie and let her tag along with him. Oh, yeah. He also ran into his racist rival, Chloe, who decided to quote Dominus Fenix. [X-Men theme plays] Poke-X-Mon Episode 6: "Rivals" Written by Chet "Tech" Weaver Chloe chuckled to herself as she dashed through the early-morning streets of Pewter City. She was going to stay at that gym all day to make sure that freak Chet Weaver didn't get in. As far as she was concerned, mutants like him didn't deserve to be on the same planet as normal humans. She opened the doors to Pewter City Gym with a smug sense of self-satisfaction. Chloe felt as if Chet would've had to get up pretty early in the morning to get past her today. As she entered the arena, a Meowth landed in her face, leapt off and landed back on the court facing his trainer. It struck a dynamic pose as an Onix slammed into the ground behind him. "Wow!" exclaimed the Gym's Leader, Brock. "That was the best under-level-twenty Pokemon match I've been in for quite some time!" "Well..." the challenging trainer, Chet Weaver, said with a hand placed behind his head. "I don't mean to brag..." Sitting next to the door, Valerie, Chet's amnesiac traveling companion, stretched and yawned. "Did we win yet?" she asked sleepily. "Yeah," Chet answered, helping her up. "Sorry about waking you up at five-thirty in the morning to come to this match, but I just couldn't wait any longer." "That's okay," Valerie said. "Can we just go now?" "Sure," said Chet, leading his friend out the door. "Hey, Chloe." "Wait!" Brock called out, chasing them out the door. "You forgot your badge!" Chloe took a moment to digest what she had just seen and screamed at the top of her lungs. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxx "About what happened at the gym..." Valerie began as she swiftly followed Chet and his Meowth, Chance, through the forest. "Yeah?" Chet asked. "Did you really need to get started that early, or did you just want to irritate Chloe?" "Well, it was either get up early or have another staring contest with Miss Congeniality, but mainly I did it to tick her off." "Ah." They traveled through the forest for quite a while before coming to a small clearing. They decided to sit down and rest for a moment. "Are you hungry?" Chet asked, rooting through his back pack. "I'm hungry." "A little, I guess," Valerie said. "Meowth!" Chance added. Chet dug a bit deeper into his back pack. Then he dug through it some more. By about the fifth dig, he began to get a bit upset. "Ah, no!" Chet exclaimed. "No! No! No! Darn it!" "What?" asked Valerie. "I forgot to stock up before we left Pewter," Chet replied. "I don't even have any PokeChow." "Meeeooowwwth..." Chance wailed, fainting. "Looks like we'll have to go back, then," Valerie said. "Not quite," Chet countered. "We've got this!" Chet held up a small device he pulled out of his back pack. "What is it?" Valerie asked. "It's my PokeGear. It has a cell phone function, so I can call people. I' ll just order delivery." "But no one delivers food out into the forest." "There's one place that does. They can deliver anything, anywhere." "Who?" #%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% "Ninja Burger," the Ninja operator said. "Delivery in 30 minutes or less, or we commit Seppuku!" The Ninja listened intently to the order being given over his headset. "You may only order cola for your beverage! Cola is good enough for Ninja, so it must be good enough for you! "To not order wasabi is an insult to our honor! Wasabi will be added to your order at an additional charge! "You have ordered one Ninja Burger, one Double Ninja Burger, one Samurai Chicken Sandwhich, two orders of The Fries of Our Ancestors, three large colas and one order of wasabi. Your total, including delivery fee, comes out to $122.45. "There is no need to tell us where you are. We already know your location. To ensure your safety during the delivery process, please do not make any sudden movements. Also, be advised that any large Pokemon may need to be temporarily incapacitated by Ninja Knock-Out Powder to protect our ninja team during the insertion phase. Thank you for ordering from Ninja Burger." The Ninja turned to the seemingly empty kitchen behind him. "Mosuke!" the Ninja scolded. "What do you think you are doing!? Get to work on that order! Chop chop!" Quickly and silently, the order assembled itself next to the grill. It was then swiftly placed into a paper bag in the blink of an eye. "Well? What are you waiting for!? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were a baka-samurai! Get moving!" The bag disappeared in a blur and a gust of wind. "Stupid Golducks," the Ninja said before returning to his post and disappearing into the shadows. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%# "... Little did we know at the time that the entire gym was caught in some sort of temporal vortex," Maxine said as she took a bite of the pizza slice she was holding. "So when we left to follow that Weaver punk, we wound up in his present." "Which was our future," Hera added. She put away her listening equipment. "Much to our surprise, it had been several years since we last reported in and the Boss wasn't very happy. Fortunately, we were given one last chance to redeem ourselves by capturing one of Ninja Burger's specially-bred ninja delivery Pokemon, one of which is heading out right now and delivering to someone who just happens to be near our location." "Well, how convenient," Maxine replied. "Of course, normally these things can't be detected by mere humans, but we have a secret weapon today. Don't we, Kairosu-san?" The armored, bulky figure behind them just gave a deep, gutteral laugh as a response. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xx Mosuke Kawazu, ninja delivery Golduck, dashed silently through the trees. He was behind schedule, as usual. Mosuke had been getting lazy as of late. Once too often he had been discovered being only nearly undetectable instead of completely undetectable. This was inexcusable in the eyes of Ninja Burger's management staff. If this kept up, he would be severly punished, even executed. That is not going to happen, he assured himself. Not today. On the honor of his ancestors, he swore that he would make this delivery well before the 30-minute time limit. He swore that he will hone his skills and become the best ninja he could be. Better than that, even. He would surpass his limits, set immeasurably higher limits and surpass them as well. Twice. Three times even. He WILL become employee of the month. He WILL get a raise AND a promotion. He WILL... *CRASH!* The offender had caught him off gaurd. Mosuke cursed himself for allowing his fantasies to distract him. The two of them crashed through the trees and landed on a well-worn path. Mosuke landed on his feet, brushing some twigs off his ninja uniform, and found himself facing a Pinsir in samurai armor. "Kairosu," growled Mosuke. "Still playing delivery boy for Samurai Pizza, I see." Kairosu gave a deep, gutteral laugh as two female Rockets, one with a long, blonde ponytail and an Asian with shoulder-length purple hair, stepped out of the forest behind him. "Mosuke-chan," Kairosu laughed. "It's been a long time. I'd like to introduce you to a couple friends of mine: Hera Yuin and Maxine Diaz." "I'm not surprised," Mosuke said. "It's only fitting that a baka-samurai like yourself would ally with the likes of Team Rocket." "You ninja think you are so great, but we will see who is superior on the battlefield. Right NOW!" "Winero, go!" Hera called out, tossing out a PokeBall. "DeathScyther, go!" Maxine called, doing likewise. Mosuke had anticipated this move, and his reflexes were sharp. The Farfetch 'd and Scyther emerged, standing weakly. They promptly fainted. "What!?" Maxine exclaimed as the Pokemon were recalled. "They were at full health a few minutes ago! I checked them myself!" "Ninja trickery," Kairosu glowered. "It is you who fight without honor," Mosuke said, drawing his sword. "Dismembering you would only be an improvement." "Talk is cheap," Kairosu shot back, drawing his much larger sword. "And actions speak much louder than words. Perhaps you need a demonstration!" The Pokemon charged at each other, swinging their swords. The blades collided with a terrific clang. Again and again, steel met steel with flashes of light as the sun reflected off of them. Mosuke leapt back, dodging a swipe from Kairosu's sword. He then jumped forward, sailing over the Pinsir, and spun, striking the insect in the back with his tail. Kairosu stumbled forward, then pivoted to deflect Mosuke's blow. "Still the quick one, I see," Kairosu noted. "Don't blink," Mosuke taunted. "Or else you may fail to witness your defeat." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx "How much longer do we have to wait here?" Valerie complained. "Meowth! Meowth!" urged Chance. "Don't worry," Chet said. "They should be here any minute now. Just keep an eye out for food that appears from nowhere." Chet sat, reclining against a tree with his hands behind his head. Valerie was seated on a rock, with her hands and knees together. Chance flipped a coin. Someone's stomach rumbled noticeably. "Dammit," Chet complained. "How much longer do we have to wait here?" "What is 'Seppuku,' anyway?" Valerie asked. "I think it's a form of ritual suicide dating back to feudal Japan," Chet answered. "It's like Hari Kari." "Seriously? They'll kill themselves if they don't make the delivery on time?" "I'm they don't mean it. It is just fast food, after all." The silence was suddenly broken by the sounds of yelling and sword's colliding. The three of them stood and looked over to where the sounds had come from. "What's that?" Valerie demanded. "Sounds like a fight," Chet said, running off into the woods. "I'll go check it out." "Is he always this impulsive?" Valerie asked. "Meowth," Chance stated simply before running after his trainer. "Hey, wait up!" Valerie called, starting after the two. Chet quickly stalked through the forest, stopping behind trees to remain hidden. He soon found the source of the calamity and was joined by Chance and Valerie. There they saw what looked like a ninja Golduck ducking and dodging around an enraged samurai Pincer as two woman Rockets looked on. "Who are they?" Valerie asked. "I recognize the Rockets," Chet replied. "Maxine and Hera. I've never seen Pokemon dressed like that before." Chet pulled out his Pokedex. "Golduck," the device droned. "The Duck Pokemon. Often seen swimming elegantly by lake shores. It is often mistaken for the Japanese monster, Kappa... Pinsir: the Pincer Pokemon. It's pincer-like horns are considered dangerous weapons." "Curse you, Mosuke!" the Pinsir growled, swinging his sword. "Stand still and fight like a man!" "Since when do men* fight, Kairosu?" the Golduck taunted. (*"Men" refering to humans, of course) "That's it," Maxine said, extending her collapsible scythe. "This fight's been goin' on for 10 minutes already! It's about time I snagged me a Golduck!" "Max! Wait!" Hera warned as Maxine charged into battle with her scythe ready to strike. Mosuke leapt back from Kairosu and elbowed Maxine in the gut. Quickly pressing key points on her midsection, the ninja Golduck left Maxine frozen in place and leapt back into battle with the Pinsir. "Hey!" Maxine exclaimed. "I'm stuck! I think he paralyzed me or something!" Hera sighed and pulled out her gun. "Looks like we may have to injure this thing in order to catch it," she said. She took aim. "I don't think so!" Chet proclaimed. He grabbed her wrist and slammed it into his knee, causing her to drop the gun. "You!" Hera exclaimed. "Do you have to foil all our plans?" Hera swung a back fist, striking Chet across the jaw. "You tell 'im, girlfriend!" Maxine said, still frozen in place. "You show that punk what for!" "Are you really a member of Team Rocket?" Valerie asked. "Huh? Yeah," Maxine replied. "Say, you wouldn't happen to know how to undo this, would ya?" "I can't say that I've ever seen anything like this before in my life." "...Perfect... Hey! What are you doing!? Stop that! GAAAH!" Valerie tipped Maxine, causing her to fall over. "You are SO dead when this wears off, you little..." Slashing at Kairosu with his sword, Mosuke chanced a glance back at those that just joined the battle and saw Chet grappling with Hera. "He is the one I was sent to find," Mosuke noted. With a flourish, Kairosu knocked the sword out of Mosuke's hand and into the air. The Golduck back-flipped, grabbed the sword, whipped about, and held it in a ready position. "I'm afraid we must now end this," Mosuke stated. Fire shown in his eyes as he called out "FURRY CUTTER!" Mosuke yelled and charged at Kairosu. He unleashed a flurry of sword strokes at the Pinsir, knocking away his sword and slicing through his armor. Swipe after swipe cut through Kairosu until the Golduck sent him into a tree with a powerful sword thrust. "This... is not over, Mosuke Kawazu," Kairosu said as he pulled himself to his feet and limped into the forest. "We will meet again. Mark my words..." "Kairosu!" Hera scolded. "You coward! Where do you think you're going!? Get back here!" Hera chased after Kairosu. Then she ran back, picked up her paralyzed comrade, and took off again. "We'll get you next time, Weaver!" Maxine called out. "Next tiiiiiiimmme!" "Mer-rooOOOoowth!" Chance hissed at the retreating villains. "Looks like we.. accomplished something.... I think," Chet said. His stomach rumbled. "Did I mention I was hungry?" Mosuke sheathed his sword, savoring the satisfaction of a battle well-fought. He approached Chet as he pulled the sack of burgers from a secret pouch in his uniform. They were less than a single pace away when Chet's PokeGear beeped. Mosuke froze in terror and dropped the burgers. His eyes grew wide, as if he had just been stabbed in the back by an unseen assailant. "Whoa," Chet remarked. "I guess they set a timer on my PokeGear when I made my order." Mosuke dropped to his hands and knees. "I... I have failed," he said. "Uh... Are you okay?" Chet asked. "I was unable to make the delivery on time," Mosuke said, drawing his sword. "I have failed in my mission." "What the heel!?" Chet exclaimed. "Is he...?" began Valerie. "Dude, it's just fast food!" Chet argued. "I-it's not something worth killing yourself over!" Ignoring the plea, Mosuke readied his sword and muttered a few words to Kami. Valerie gasped as Mosuke ran himself through with is own sword and keeled over. Chet ran to his side. "Is he...?" Valerie asked. "Not yet," Chet replied. "It's serious, but not fatal... Not if I can help it." Chet pulled an empty PokeBall from his belt and drew the dieing Golduck into it. "There should be a PokeCenter at the foot of Mt. Moon not too far away," Chet said. "C'mon. We don't have time to lose." Chet ran off into the forest, followed by Chance and Valerie. Chance ran back to pick up the food and chased after them again. To Be Continued... Will Mosuke Kawazu die? Will Hera and Maxine get their revenge? And what of the Samurai Pinsir Kairosu? Find out in Poke-X-Mon!