Subject: [PW] A Guinea Pig Is Not A Pokemon
Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 14:18:00 -0700
From: "DitzyRenamon \(Tech Weaver\)"
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
"Yolei, where were you?" asked Mamoru. "Lynkeru's about to start her match
against Morty!"
"Sorry, I had to buy a few things from the PokeMart first," Yolei explained.
Looking around the gym, she added, "You know, a lot of gyms really get into
their Pokemon theme, but this one..."
"Looks like a high-school gymnasium?" finished Tetsuo.
"Only smaller," added Yolei.
"Human versus Pokemon battles aren't exactly my thing," Morty explained to
his opponent. "So don't be offended if I try to take you out without
hurting you."
"Don't worry about me," Lynkeru told the gym leader. She drew her swords.
"Just worry about your undead friends."
"Fair enough," Morty replied. He took out a PokeBall and tossed it onto the
court. "Gastly, go!"
"Gastly gast!" the Gastly called out as it emerged. It barely dodged when
Lynkeru took a swipe at it and turned to his trainer. "Gastly gast?"
"Don't worry about it," Morty said. "Just use your Hypnosis attack."
"Gastly, gastly gast," the Gastly obliged. It immediately turned back to
its opponent with glowing eyes. Suddenly, Lynkeru dropped to her knees as
if her swords were dragging her down.
"My swords!" Lynkeru exclaimed, straining to lift her weapons. "They're...
so heavy!"
"The Hypnosis attack is just making you think they're heavy!" Yolei called
out. "It's all in your head!"
'Easy for you to say,' Lynkeru thought. 'These things feel like they weigh
a ton!'
"Gastly, Night Shade attack," Morty commanded. Black energy lanced out from
the Gastly's eyes and smacked Lynkeru. "Are you ready to give up?"
"No," Lynkeru said. Looking like she was exerting every once of energy she
had, she lifted her swords and held them in a defensive position. "Bring it
on!"
"If you insist," Morty defeatedly accepted. "Gastly, Night Shade."
"Gastly!" Gastly shot off another Night Shade attack, this time knocking
Lynkeru clear off her feet. Lynkeru got back to her feet, shook the cobwebs
out, and readied her swords.
"Hey, they're not heavy anymore," Lynkeru noted. "I guess the Hypnosis wore
off. Now you can take THIS!"
Lynkeru lunged at the Gastly and practically bisected it with one slash.
The Gastly cried out as it was cut, but was able to pull itself back
together.
"I guess swords count a Steel-type attack," Morty noted. "Use Hypnosis
again, Gastly."
"I don't think so," Lynkeru said. She pulled a large nut from her pouch and
threw it at the Gastly. "HA!"
The nut exploded with a brilliant flash in front of the Gastly, blinding it
temporarily. Lynkeru then took the initiative, briefly focusing her energy
into her swords before releasing it in a devastating spin attack. The
Gastly took twin sword strokes before being hurled across the room. It
landed on the ground and fell unconscious.
"Gastly, return," Morty commanded, returning the Gastly to his PokeBall. "I
see your serious. Well, I didn't want to have to do this, but here goes!
Haunter, go! Use Confuse Ray!"
"Ha ha ha!" the Haunter laughed. It clapped it's hands, resulting in
another intense flash. When Lynkeru opened her eyes, the world was a
swirling sea of color.
"Whoa..." Lynkeru said as everything began to spin. "What's going on?"
Lynkeru thought she heard someone call out something. It was all echoey and
distant and the only words she could make out were "Attack yourself." That
kinda sounded like Yolei. Why would she tell her to attack herself?
Things came into focus for a moment and she could see the Haunter right
infront of her. She took a swipe at it and missed before everything went
all swirly again. She heard Morty call out something, then something hit
her and she fell to the ground.
She pulled herself back to her feet, thinking that she just needed to focus.
Seeing the Haunter again, she charged. Unfortunately, she was so dizzy she
tripped over her own feet and slammed face-first into the ground. She tried
to get up, but something threw her into the air and slammed her back down
again.
As she got up again, she thought about how Yolei had said something about
attacking herself. Maybe that was how to reverse the effects of the Confuse
Ray? Lynkeru supposed it was worth a shot. She picked up her sword and
wacked her head with the broadside.
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"... And now she's hitting herself with her own sword," Tetsuo reported.
"What does she think she's doing?"
"It's always sad watching a friend's mind go," Mamoru said.
"Just tell me when it's over," Yolei said, covering her eyes.
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Lynkeru stopped hitting herself with the sword. Things were clearing up a
little, but she could tell she wasn't any closer to cancelling out the
effects. All this got her was a splitting headache.
"Haunter, Confusion," Morty ordered. The air between the Haunter and
Lynkeru began to ripple. Before she knew it, Lynkeru had made another trip
to the ceiling and back.
"Okay," she said, leaping back to her feet. "Now you're gonna get it!
HYA!"
Lynkeru ran at her opponent and attempted to cleave it in two with a
downward slash.
However, the Haunter caught the swords between its hands.
"Now Lick!" Morty commanded.
The Haunter covered Lynkeru's entire upper body with its tongue. Her first
reaction was to leap back in revulsion. She then tried to attack the
Haunter again, but reflexes were too slow and the Haunter dodged easily.
"Now you're paralyzed *and* confused," Morty reported. "Are you ready to
give up *now*?"
"I'm not..." Lynkeru began, spinning around to face the gym leader. The
dizzyness from the Confuse Ray knocked her off balance and she flailed her
limbs in an attempt to regain control. Then full paralysis set in and she
fell to the ground in an amusing position. "... in the mood to fight
anymore. Why don't we call it a draw?"
"Fine," Morty accepted. A couple of Morty's students picked up Lynkeru and
put her on a bench near her friends.
"You should keep her away from Pidgies for a while," one of the students
joked before rejoining the other students at the other side of the gym.
"Oh, very funny," Yolei called back. Turning back to Lynkeru, she asked,
"Are you okay? Do you remember where you are?"
"If you insist, but I don't think they'll serve minors," Lynkeru said.
"What?"
"You asked if I wanted to go to a bar."
"I asked if you remembered where you are!"
"Oh. Ecruteak Gym, right?"
"Do you know what day it is?" Mamoru asked.
"Yeah, Thursday," Lynkeru replied. "What's with the third degree?"
"We're asking obvious questions to make sure you don't have a concussion,"
Tetsuo explained. "Can you remember your name?"
Lynkeru thought for a moment, then in a low voice she said, "I'm Zubatman."
Everyone else collasped.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Lynkeru laughed. "I'll be fine. I just need
some rest. In the meantime, I think you guys have a badge to win. Which
one of you is going first?"
--
DitzyRenamon
Like, Diamond Storm and stuff
Work like nobody's watching.
Dance like you've never been hurt.
Love like you don't need the money.