Subject: [PW!] Brotherly Love Date: 8 Nov 2002 13:01:08 -0800 From: (Bandraptor) Organization: Newsgroups: It's a little before midnight on a Sunday, and the streets of Goldenrod are a little bit quieter than normal, but not by much. The Magnet Train is still running, the Underground is still open, gangs of bicyclists are still tooling around, and the streets are so well illuminated, that to the people walking them, it almost seems like it's still afternoon. There's an enormous crowd of people gathered outside the radio station, screaming wildly in hopes of gaining Buena's attention, that she might let them on her game show. Even the department store is busy, as customers are busy preordering their copies of Haneko Adventures 3. Goldenrodders are an odd bunch. Many hundreds of feet above all this commotion, the door to a highrise apartment swings open, and the lights flicker on, as three figures walk into the building. Blizzard the Persian is first, she walks with her head held high, and lets out a contented sigh at the sight of such welcoming surroundings. She basks in the warmth of the brightly lit room, thinking about how glad she is that she has such a nice place to come home to; and how nice and peaceful it is, so far away from the bustling crowds of poorly bred, churlish, dimwitted plebeians-- "GrrrrAANITAR!" "Tenta COOL!" "<Oh. Right...>" Blizzard sighs again, remembering that the plebians are still fairly close to her, and turns to see what her companions are arguing about. "Persian," she says, authoritatively, "<what is the cause of this disruption?>" Sting the Tentacool, squashed beneath a huge, scaly foot, burbles, "<That> tenta tentcool tent <stepped on my> cool<ing head!>" Blizzard traces her eyes up and over the foot, until she comes face to face with the Tyranitar who owns it. Avalanche shrugs, "<It was in my way.>" Blizzard nods, understanding, "<Sting, you should make more of an effort to be careful. If you cause Avalanche to trip, he will drop the food he is carrying.>" She turns away, and continues into the room. Avalanche thunders after her, leaving Sting in a slimy heap on the floor. Sting fumes, and thinks about what just happened, and fumes some more, until he realizes that the rapidly drying Tentacool goo that's secreted by his body is starting to glue him to the carpeting, and decides he had better get up. He slinks over to where Blizzard's standing, in front of a large, wooden set of shelves that holds an entertainment center. Blizzard stares pensively at the glass door which seals off the stereo, then headbutts it a couple of times, until the magnetic seal pops open. She pokes her head into the cabinet, and carefully picks a microphone up in her jaws. She tries to connect it to the stereo, but that doesn't work, because the end of the microphone that she's trying to plug in is roughly 10 times the size of the input jack. After a few failed tries, she starts banging her head against the stereo just like she did the cabinet door, certain that what worked before will work again. Sting eventually begins to feel sorry for her, so he picks up the microphone cord with one tentacle, and plugs it in. The microphone emits a loud hissing noise. Blizzard ceases her assault on the stereo, confident that it has succumbed to her whim, then headbutts it one more time, to punish it for being so stubborn. Sensing that all is in readiness, Blizzard looks over at Sting, who is standing beside her at the front of the room, and then at Avalanche, who is seated in front of them like an audience of one, perched on an armchair that's way too small for him, with his back hunched, and his knees against his chin. "<Order please.>" Blizzard speaks into the microphone. She waits another couple of seconds for everybody to get settled in, then cheerfully proclaims, "<Thus begins this month's meeting for the Goldenrod chapter of The Brotherhood of Evil Pokemon!>" Avalanche claps a couple of times, but when he sees that he's the only one clapping, he gets self conscious, and stops. Blizzard continues, "<First of all, I am pleased to introduce our newest member, Avalanche the Tyranitar! Avalanche, welcome to the Brotherhood!>" "Ran." Avalanche nods his head, glad that Blizzard and Sting are accepting him into their organization, because he sees this as an indication that they are ready to treat him as an equal, instead of a subordinate. "<So, what do I have to do?>" "<Well,>" Blizzard explains, "<I am the leader of this group, and Sting is the co-leader, so that makes you a grunt. Your chief responsibilities will be carrying heavy items, and providing a means of transportation.>" "<Oh.>" Avalanche thinks this sounds an awful lot like what he's BEEN doing. Blizzard continues, "<Now, on to the financial sector--Sting, will you please read the reports?>" Sting pulls out a lockbox full of money, which contains their winnings from the most recent Fancy Cup tournament. He does a quick count, "<We've got ten dollars.>" "<Excellent. We have enough to buy forty quarters!>" Blizzard purrs happily at the thought of so many shiny coins. "<Participation in sanctioned Pokemon tournaments is truly proving to be profitable. If I may propose a vote? All in favor of participating in next week's tournament, say 'yea'.>" Blizzard and Sting both raise their forelimbs. "<Yea!!!>" Avalanche says, "<No.>" "<Very well,>" Blizzard tallies the votes, "<All in favor of having Avalanche fight the next battle?>" Blizzard and Sting both raise their forearms. "<Yea!!!>" "<No.>" Blizzard puts down her microphone, and stares petulantly at Avalanche, "<You seem to have your vehicles of input confused. When you wish to agree with me, you should say 'yea'.>" "<No>." Avalanche shakes his head violently. He tries to think of a way to explain his objection, "<Why am *I* fighting?>" Sting groans in response to the pacifistic Tyranitar, "<Would you listen to this> tent? <He sounds like a> cool<ing Mewtwo.>" "<Avalanche,>" Blizzard says earnestly, "<You're not a Mewtwo, are you?>" "<No...>" "Tent <straight you're not!>" Sting cuts him off, "<You're a> cool<ing ANTI-Mewtwo!>" "<Yes.>" Blizzard flips her tail impatiently, "<And as the antithesis of a Mewtwo, you should be saying, 'Please, Blizzard! Let me fight! I love fighting! The ending of my movie was foolish and unplanned!'>" Avalanche considers this, "<Will I get some of the prize?>" "<No,>" Blizzard explains, "<Your share of the winnings will be appropriated to cover your back membership dues.>" "<Oh.>" Avalanche thinks about this, "<Okay.>" "<Then it is settled. We will participate in next week's tournament.>" Blizzard eyes the packages that Avalanche left on the coffee table, "<Now that business is out of the way, it's time for punch and pie!>" Blizzard opens the box that contains their pastries, "<Avalanche, did you take a bite out of this pie?>" Avalanche takes a look at the Tyranitar-sized bite mark, and shakes his head indignantly, "<No.>" Sting turns on a CD, and the three of them begin to party, loudly and raucously, as animals tend to. Not more than a few minutes have gone by, when a deep voice emanates from down the hallway, "I hear a Persian and a Tentacool in there. And it had better not be the Persian and the Tentacool I think it is, because if it is I'll..." A groggy-looking Blastoise walks into the room. When he catches sight of Blizzard and Sting, he doesn't even bother to finish his threat--he just slumps back against the wall, and massages his temples with his claws, thinking that it's way too late at night to have to deal with such nuisances. "Oh, for Kame's sake, I have WORK tomorrow." "<Who's that?>" Avalanche wants to know. "Persian, <that's just our roommate.>" Blizzard explains in a confidential whisper. "<He is something of a pain, but we permit him to stay here, because he pays one hundred percent of the rent.>" "Roommate nothing!" The Blastoise snaps, "How many times do I have to tell you, stay the hell out of my apartment!" "<Technically, it is *my* apartment,>" Blizzard says, as if she's explaining the most simple thing in the world. She gestures to the wall with a forepaw, "<See? I marked it there, there, there, and there.>" The Blastoise immediately moves away from the wall. "God damn it, Blizzard, I'm gonna lose my deposit because of you!" He walks towards the front door, carefully avoiding the drying puddle of Tentacool goo. "How did you even get in here? I thought I fixed the lock." "<Has it been giving you trouble, too?>" Blizzard grins, "<The door would not open, so I had Sting melt through it with his Acid attack! Do not feel obliged to us, we of the Brotherhood of Pokemon are always happy to help a Pokemon in need.>" Blizzard stretches, digging her claws into the upholstery as she makes herself sickeningly comfortable on top of a couch. The Blastoise tries to open and close the door a couple of times, before accepting that it's a loss. "'Brotherhood'?" He scoffs impatiently, looking from Blizzard to Sting and back again, "What Brotherhood? As far as I can tell, your entire 'organization' consists of the two of you." "<It is not the size of the organization that matters,>" Blizzard counters, "<but the deeds that they do.>" "What deeds?" The Blastoise practically explodes, "All you do is loaf around, and beg for money!" "Persian. <That reminds me, you are going to have to pay us for the work we did on your door.>" "What?!?" "Tent, <that's right!>" Sting growls, folding his tentacles across his chest. "<You knew our costs before you asked for our help. I'm not> cool<ing Jimmy Carter--I do my> tent <for cash!>" "When did I ask you to BREAK MY DOOR?" "<Regardless,>" Blizzard continues, "<We all worked very hard for your sake. You should show us some gratitude.>" Sting taps one tentacle threateningly against the front of the Blastoise's shell, "<That was some slick> tent <I pulled back there, and you> tent<ing OWE me,> cool!" Blizzard nods, "<We demand retribution.>" "Retri..?" The Blastoise lowers both his eyelids and the cannons on his back. "I can't believe you just said that, Blizzard." "<Yes?>" Blizzard responds, right before a pressurized blast of water and ice crystals sends her flying out through the broken door. She collides with a brick wall, some dozen yards away, and sticks suspended there for a moment, before slowly sliding down its face, into the alley below. A few seconds later, a half-frozen Sting lands on top of her. Back inside the apartment, the Blastoise is pacing back and forth in frustration. "You." He points at Avalanche, who's still sitting in the armchair, eating a piece of pie with a fork that's half the size of his fingers. "Are you friends with those idiots?" Avalanche doesn't bother to look up from his plate. "<No.>" He gestures towards the coffee table, "<Want some pie?>" The Blastoise thinks about this, and shrugs. "Okay." Out in the alley, Blizzard is lying where she fell, with her head and shoulders on the ground, and her feet sticking up in the air. "<Why would anyone react so objectionably to our presence?>" she sulks, "<He should be honored that the Brotherhood deigned to visit his little hovel.>" Sting grumbles through his block of ice, "Tent<ing city folk have no sense of hospitality.>" TBC? --Sigless Beth