Subject: [PW!] Champ Versus Chump Date: Sat, 23 Nov 2002 00:22:26 GMT From: Rob <robfrompw@yahoo.com> Organization: AT&T Worldnet Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon A red-haired nurse sits with her legs crossed on a chair in the Dining Room of Cianwood City's Gym. She's sitting across from a blonde girl wearing a white gi who's practicing a variety of kicks she's learned in the past couple of weeks. "Now, Belle, I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when I say... November 22." "Cake." Belle does a roundhouse kick after answering the question, a move Chuck, the Gym Leader, taught her yesterday. She continues to practice that particular kick while saying, "I don't see how these little question an' answer sessions are helpin', Wendy. We've been meetin' for an hour each day for two weeks and I don't remember anythin' that happened before I woke up in the hospital." She takes a break from her practice to grab a water bottle on a nearby table and drink from it. Nurse Wendy jots down some notes on a yellow legal pad on her lap, "Sometimes it takes months for a person to awaken from a fugue state. I think we've made some progress, though. I believe it's quite possible that today is your birthday." After chugging half a liter of Mount Moon Spring Water, Belle shrugs, "You really think today could be my birthday just 'cuz I've got a strong cravin' for cake today? You didn't think I was born in February when I said 'Aquarius' the other day." Wendy flips back three pages in her legal pad and comments, "I'm not sure why you associated the word 'Aquarius' with the 19th of November, but I'm pretty sure that associating cake with today's date, along with the fact that you presently have a strong craving for it, might mean that today is a day your family ate cake every year. One's subconscious works in mysterious ways. If it's not your birthday, then it might be the birthday of a family member of yours or loved one." "What makes you so sure I even have a family?" Belle puts down her bottled water and kicks the air twice in a row before adding, "It's not like anyone's come here lookin' for me except for that stalker and his friend." Wendy flips to her legal pad's first page to read information gathered the day Belle awoke from her coma. "That 'stalker' and his friend told me a great deal about you the day they appeared in the hospital. The friend said that you have a loving family eagerly waiting for you to come back home, but he didn't give me any more information about them, saying that he's sure you'll get better if you stay here and he doesn't want your family to worry about you more than they already do, Sarah." "Stop callin' me that. My name's Belle." Belle throws another kick, this time in Wendy's direction though the nurse's sitting at a safe distance, and argues, "What makes you so sure you can trust some guy who just showed up at the hospital, snuck into my room without permission, and gave you information about a family that you conveniently can't contact?" "They really did seem to know and care about you." Nurse Wendy sighs, then turns back to the page in her legal pad titled "November 22, 2006" and asks the blonde Trainer, "How old do you think you are, if today's your birthday?" Belle thinks for a moment while throwing a few phantom punches, then answers, "When I woke up, I felt like a 19 year old, so if today's my birthday, then I guess I should start considerin' myself a 20 year old. Let's just say I'm 21, so I have permission to do whatever adult stuff I wanna do." "You can't just decide how old you are!" Nurse Wendy shakes her head and suggests, "Based on what I've noticed, I'd place you somewhere between the age of fifteen and eighteen. Certainly not twenty-one, unless you have an aging problem." Belle shrugs, "I still feel like a 20 year old. Especially surrounded by all the guys in this Gym who act like 10 year olds." Right after Belle says this, Chuck and his six male students along with seven male Fighting Pokemon walk into the Dining Room from the Gym's Dojo, covered in sweat from having trained for one hour straight. They take their seats around the table in the room, start banging their fists on it, and shout in unison, "WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD!" The chant is interrupted after a few seconds when Chuck's wife yells from the kitchen, "Patience - just twenty more minutes!" "Case in point." Belle rolls her eyes then waves to Nurse Wendy, "Well, it's dinnertime - I'll see you tomorrow." Nurse Wendy nods and as the good nurse leaves, Belle takes her seat at the Dining Room table, next to John, across from Timmy. Timmy glares at Belle in silence from across the table, still angry that Chuck chose her to represent the Cianwood City Gym at the Whirl Cup Competition instead of him. "Ready to lend me your Lanturn?" Belle asks Timmy with a smirk on her face, "The Competition's starting in just a few days and though I'm really confident of my ability to guide Water Pokemon in battle, I should practice a little bit." "Wipe that little smirk off your face! You're not some kinda badass - you haven't even battled one of us since you got here!" Timmy blurts out, enraged by the blonde's smug smirk - he stands up and shouts, "I've defeated everyone here in combat, even Master! I bet my Machamp could beat your Slowpoke with three hands tied behind his back!" Belle pulls her Lure Ball out of her gi, stands up, and screams, "Bring it on! I accept your challenge!" Chuck slams both of his fists onto the table, creating a minor earthquake in the Dining Room and catching the attention of everyone present, "Silence! Timmy, I've made up my mind. Even if your Machamp beats Belle's Slowpoke, Belle would still represent the Gym in the Whirl Cup. Belle, even if your Slowpoke beats Timmy's Machamp, you wouldn't earn a yellow belt since you wouldn't be using a Fighting Pokemon. There's no point in battling, so just sit down and wait for dinner." "There is a point, master." Timmy tries to calm himself down, with some success, to make his case, "I don't like how arrogant Belle's been acting ever since you picked her to represent us and I want to take her down a peg. Besides, she's already accepted my challenge and you always taught us to never back down when challenged." "Fine." Chuck is the third person to stand up from the table and he sets the rules, "We're not gonna have a Pokemon Battle in the Dining Room and since Belle won't be using her Fighting Pokemon, the battle won't be held in the Dojo. Belle, Timmy, and everyone else who wants to watch, we're heading to the Arena for the match. And Timmy, you claimed your Machamp could beat her Slowpoke with three hands tied behind his back, so we're gonna tie back three of his hands for the battle." Timmy is a bit taken aback since he didn't literally mean what he said, but to keep up a strong front, and because he figures his tall, fit Machamp can still win against Belle's short, fat Slowpoke, he agrees to the term, "Fine by me." Belle, Timmy, Chuck, and a few other students who were sitting at the table move into the Arena where the Gym Leader usually holds Pokemon Battles with Trainers who wish to earn a Storm Badge. Belle walks up to one end of the Arena, Timmy takes his place at the other end, and Chuck stands towards the middle of the Arena, where referees position themselves. Chuck declares in his loud voice, "This will be a one-on-one Pokemon battle between Timmy's Machamp and Belle's Slowpoke. Machamp will have three arms tied behind his back. There will be a twenty minute time limit, 'cuz if you two are still battling after my wife brings out the food and the food gets cold, I'll be in serious trouble. Release your Pokemon!" Timmy pulls out a Pokeball and throws it into the Arena. A muscular, shiny Machamp emerges - his skin has a tinge of green and he's flexing his four immense arms. The Fighting Pokemon is caught off-guard when Chuck runs over, pulls back three of his arms, and uses a white belt to bind them behind his back, "Machaaa?" Timmy calls out, "Don't worry, Machamp, your opponent's really weak!" Belle tosses her Lure Ball into the Arena and Luthor, her fat pink Slowpoke, appears. He looks up at the Machamp before him and his already bulging eyes bulge even further, "The Incredible Hulk! Fear not, Supergirl, Luthor shall use his incredible psychic abilities to defeat the Hulk so that he may revert back to his mild-mannered human form and not harm any of us. Shall Luthor use Confusion, or perhaps Disable? Teleport's out of the question and Headbutt might not be the best choice..." Although Luthor is talking to himself, Belle overhears him list out the moves he knows and commands, "Luthor, Disable!" "Machamp, Cross Chop!" Timmy crosses his arms, pretty sure that one Cross Chop will down the delusional Slowpoke. The Machamp looks down at his one free arm and wonders if his attack will be just as effective if he doesn't use all four of his arms. "Excellent suggestion, Supergirl." Luthor stares at his opponent, his eyes starting to glow blue, but the Machamp, who's much faster than the Slowpoke, slams his hand onto the Psychic Pokemon's head, Cross Chopping him before he uses Disable. Fortunately for Luthor, being a Slowpoke he doesn't feel the pain from the attack just yet, and the Machamp glows blue as his Cross Chop attack is Disabled. "Luthor has managed to OWWWWWW..." Luthor recoils in pain five seconds after being attacked. Belle's not sure if Luthor's going to stay standing after the Cross Chop, but she knows that she needs to tell her Slowpoke what to do in advance so that he does it when he's supposed to and shouts, "Luthor, hang in there and use Confusion!" Timmy is familiar with every single Fighting Pokemon attack, but the fact that he hasn't been educated about Psychic Pokemon attacks is evident when he commands, "Machamp, use Cross Chop again!" Timmy's Machamp tries to move his one free arm to use Cross Chop but finds himself unable to do so. As the Machamp looks down at his paralyzed arm in confusion, Luthor the Slowpoke sends out purple waves of a Confusion attack, which hurt the Machamp and make his confusion even worse. Timmy is outraged, "How could that little Slowpoke still be standing after my Machamp's Cross Chop attack?! And why can't he move his arm?! And why is he now stumbling around with a goofy expression on his face?!" Chuck, from the sidelines, answers all of Timmy's questions, "Your Machamp's Cross Chop was weakened 'cuz he couldn't use all four arms to perform it. He can't move his arm 'cuz his Cross Chop's been Disabled - you should know that by now. He's stumbling around 'cuz he's confused. You don't know all this 'cuz you haven't bothered to study lately, thinking you're the smartest person in this Gym. It's your arrogance, Timmy, not Belle's, that's keeping you from winning this match." Timmy frowns, "Well, if he can't use Cross Chop... Machamp, use Low Kick!" "Use Confusion again, Luthor!" Belle instructs her Slowpoke, who's still in pain from the earlier Cross Chop attack but still able to battle. Right after Timmy's shiny Machamp kicks himself on his other leg and falls over, Luthor taunts, "It appears that the Hulk is not quite as incredible in this universe as he is in others!" The Slowpoke then releases waves of Confusion again, hitting the Machamp who's already hit himself as a result of the earlier Confusion attack. Timmy grinds his teeth in frustration, seeing the mighty Machamp who once defeated Chuck's Machoke running in circles on the Arena's floor calling out, "Mama! Mama! Mama!" The Machamp's Trainer narrows his eyes and says, "Machamp, if you're just gonna kick yourself if I tell you to use Low Kick, then use Mega Kick." Belle, noticing that the Machamp seems severely weakened, says, "All right, Luthor, finish him off with a Headbutt attack!" Timmy's Machamp picks himself up off the Arena floor, assumes a crane position, then launches himself into the air to perform a Mega Kick! He soars towards Luthor the Slowpoke, his intended target... then soars right over Luthor... and he lands rather painfully on the floor behind the Slowpoke. Luthor crawls up to where the injured Machamp is sprawled, climbs onto the Fighting Pokemon's chest, and slams his thick skull onto the Machamp's head, performing a Headbutt attack. Timmy's Machamp momentarily flinches right before fainting on the spot. After a moment of stunned silence from everyone watching, Luthor the Slowpoke says, "What is this strange feeling within my body? It seems familiar, although it has been a long while since I have experienced it." "Accomplishment?" Belle inquires, smiling since her Slowpoke has proven that he's not worthless to everyone present. Timmy, dejected after his most powerful Fighting Pokemon has lost to an insane Slowpoke, asks, "Shock?" "Power?" Chuck suggests. He's now even more sure that Belle and her Slowpoke will represent the Cianwood Gym well. "I remember now! This is what it feels like to learn a new move." Luthor the Slowpoke grins, looking down at the Machamp he's still standing on, "I have waited for years to learn how to perform Water Gun, so that I can spit at my enemies when I have defeated them! Congratulations, Hulk, you shall be the first to be spit on by the future ruler of the entire Multiverse!" Luthor opens his mouth to use his new attack, hoping a powerful stream of water will be released... But all that's released is a raspy, dopey-sounding Growling noise. "What?!" Luthor Growls, angered that Water is not spewing out of his open maw, "Curses! Luthor has learned how to Growl, not how to use Water Gun! Why couldn't Luthor have been born in Johto, where Slowpoke learn Water Gun early in life?" Belle walks up to Luthor as Timmy pulls his Machamp back into his Pokeball. She hugs her Slowpoke and says, "Don't worry, if you could beat a Machamp without knowin' Water Gun, then you'll be able to beat Water Pokemon at the Whirl Cup without knowin' it!" She calls Luthor back into his Lure Ball, figuring he deserves to rest. "Oh yeah, that reminds me. We're gonna be taking a ferry to Blue Point Isle tomorrow." Chuck tells his students, "It's the first stop on the way to Red Rock Isle, where the Whirl Cup's starting in a few days. We should really get there on time." "Chuck, kids - dinner's ready!" The voice of Chuck's wife from the Dining Room is heard in the Arena. As Chuck and the students gathered in the Arena head back to their seats at the Dining Room table, Belle pulls down one of her eyelids and sticks her tongue out at Timmy. -Belle