Subject: [PW!] Champ Versus Chump
Date: Sat, 23 Nov 2002 00:22:26 GMT
Organization: AT&T Worldnet
A red-haired nurse sits with her legs crossed on a chair in the Dining
Room of Cianwood City's Gym. She's sitting across from a blonde girl
wearing a white gi who's practicing a variety of kicks she's learned in
the past couple of weeks. "Now, Belle, I want you to tell me the first
thing that comes to your mind when I say... November 22."
"Cake." Belle does a roundhouse kick after answering the question, a
move Chuck, the Gym Leader, taught her yesterday. She continues to
practice that particular kick while saying, "I don't see how these
little question an' answer sessions are helpin', Wendy. We've been
meetin' for an hour each day for two weeks and I don't remember anythin'
that happened before I woke up in the hospital." She takes a break from
her practice to grab a water bottle on a nearby table and drink from it.
Nurse Wendy jots down some notes on a yellow legal pad on her lap,
"Sometimes it takes months for a person to awaken from a fugue state. I
think we've made some progress, though. I believe it's quite possible
that today is your birthday."
After chugging half a liter of Mount Moon Spring Water, Belle shrugs,
"You really think today could be my birthday just 'cuz I've got a strong
cravin' for cake today? You didn't think I was born in February when I
said 'Aquarius' the other day."
Wendy flips back three pages in her legal pad and comments, "I'm not
sure why you associated the word 'Aquarius' with the 19th of November,
but I'm pretty sure that associating cake with today's date, along with
the fact that you presently have a strong craving for it, might mean
that today is a day your family ate cake every year. One's subconscious
works in mysterious ways. If it's not your birthday, then it might be
the birthday of a family member of yours or loved one."
"What makes you so sure I even have a family?" Belle puts down her
bottled water and kicks the air twice in a row before adding, "It's not
like anyone's come here lookin' for me except for that stalker and his
Wendy flips to her legal pad's first page to read information gathered
the day Belle awoke from her coma. "That 'stalker' and his friend told
me a great deal about you the day they appeared in the hospital. The
friend said that you have a loving family eagerly waiting for you to
come back home, but he didn't give me any more information about them,
saying that he's sure you'll get better if you stay here and he doesn't
want your family to worry about you more than they already do, Sarah."
"Stop callin' me that. My name's Belle." Belle throws another kick, this
time in Wendy's direction though the nurse's sitting at a safe distance,
and argues, "What makes you so sure you can trust some guy who just
showed up at the hospital, snuck into my room without permission, and
gave you information about a family that you conveniently can't
"They really did seem to know and care about you." Nurse Wendy sighs,
then turns back to the page in her legal pad titled "November 22, 2006"
and asks the blonde Trainer, "How old do you think you are, if today's
Belle thinks for a moment while throwing a few phantom punches, then
answers, "When I woke up, I felt like a 19 year old, so if today's my
birthday, then I guess I should start considerin' myself a 20 year old.
Let's just say I'm 21, so I have permission to do whatever adult stuff I
"You can't just decide how old you are!" Nurse Wendy shakes her head and
suggests, "Based on what I've noticed, I'd place you somewhere between
the age of fifteen and eighteen. Certainly not twenty-one, unless you
have an aging problem."
Belle shrugs, "I still feel like a 20 year old. Especially surrounded by
all the guys in this Gym who act like 10 year olds."
Right after Belle says this, Chuck and his six male students along with
seven male Fighting Pokemon walk into the Dining Room from the Gym's
Dojo, covered in sweat from having trained for one hour straight. They
take their seats around the table in the room, start banging their fists
on it, and shout in unison, "WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD!"
The chant is interrupted after a few seconds when Chuck's wife yells
from the kitchen, "Patience - just twenty more minutes!"
"Case in point." Belle rolls her eyes then waves to Nurse Wendy, "Well,
it's dinnertime - I'll see you tomorrow." Nurse Wendy nods and as the
good nurse leaves, Belle takes her seat at the Dining Room table, next
to John, across from Timmy.
Timmy glares at Belle in silence from across the table, still angry that
Chuck chose her to represent the Cianwood City Gym at the Whirl Cup
Competition instead of him.
"Ready to lend me your Lanturn?" Belle asks Timmy with a smirk on her
face, "The Competition's starting in just a few days and though I'm
really confident of my ability to guide Water Pokemon in battle, I
should practice a little bit."
"Wipe that little smirk off your face! You're not some kinda badass -
you haven't even battled one of us since you got here!" Timmy blurts
out, enraged by the blonde's smug smirk - he stands up and shouts, "I've
defeated everyone here in combat, even Master! I bet my Machamp could
beat your Slowpoke with three hands tied behind his back!"
Belle pulls her Lure Ball out of her gi, stands up, and screams, "Bring
it on! I accept your challenge!"
Chuck slams both of his fists onto the table, creating a minor
earthquake in the Dining Room and catching the attention of everyone
present, "Silence! Timmy, I've made up my mind. Even if your Machamp
beats Belle's Slowpoke, Belle would still represent the Gym in the Whirl
Cup. Belle, even if your Slowpoke beats Timmy's Machamp, you wouldn't
earn a yellow belt since you wouldn't be using a Fighting Pokemon.
There's no point in battling, so just sit down and wait for dinner."
"There is a point, master." Timmy tries to calm himself down, with some
success, to make his case, "I don't like how arrogant Belle's been
acting ever since you picked her to represent us and I want to take her
down a peg. Besides, she's already accepted my challenge and you always
taught us to never back down when challenged."
"Fine." Chuck is the third person to stand up from the table and he sets
the rules, "We're not gonna have a Pokemon Battle in the Dining Room and
since Belle won't be using her Fighting Pokemon, the battle won't be
held in the Dojo. Belle, Timmy, and everyone else who wants to watch,
we're heading to the Arena for the match. And Timmy, you claimed your
Machamp could beat her Slowpoke with three hands tied behind his back,
so we're gonna tie back three of his hands for the battle."
Timmy is a bit taken aback since he didn't literally mean what he said,
but to keep up a strong front, and because he figures his tall, fit
Machamp can still win against Belle's short, fat Slowpoke, he agrees to
the term, "Fine by me."
Belle, Timmy, Chuck, and a few other students who were sitting at the
table move into the Arena where the Gym Leader usually holds Pokemon
Battles with Trainers who wish to earn a Storm Badge. Belle walks up to
one end of the Arena, Timmy takes his place at the other end, and Chuck
stands towards the middle of the Arena, where referees position
Chuck declares in his loud voice, "This will be a one-on-one Pokemon
battle between Timmy's Machamp and Belle's Slowpoke. Machamp will have
three arms tied behind his back. There will be a twenty minute time
limit, 'cuz if you two are still battling after my wife brings out the
food and the food gets cold, I'll be in serious trouble. Release your
Timmy pulls out a Pokeball and throws it into the Arena. A muscular,
shiny Machamp emerges - his skin has a tinge of green and he's flexing
his four immense arms. The Fighting Pokemon is caught off-guard when
Chuck runs over, pulls back three of his arms, and uses a white belt to
bind them behind his back, "Machaaa?" Timmy calls out, "Don't worry,
Machamp, your opponent's really weak!"
Belle tosses her Lure Ball into the Arena and Luthor, her fat pink
Slowpoke, appears. He looks up at the Machamp before him and his already
bulging eyes bulge even further, "The Incredible Hulk! Fear not,
Supergirl, Luthor shall use his incredible psychic abilities to defeat
the Hulk so that he may revert back to his mild-mannered human form and
not harm any of us. Shall Luthor use Confusion, or perhaps Disable?
Teleport's out of the question and Headbutt might not be the best
Although Luthor is talking to himself, Belle overhears him list out the
moves he knows and commands, "Luthor, Disable!"
"Machamp, Cross Chop!" Timmy crosses his arms, pretty sure that one
Cross Chop will down the delusional Slowpoke. The Machamp looks down at
his one free arm and wonders if his attack will be just as effective if
he doesn't use all four of his arms.
"Excellent suggestion, Supergirl." Luthor stares at his opponent, his
eyes starting to glow blue, but the Machamp, who's much faster than the
Slowpoke, slams his hand onto the Psychic Pokemon's head, Cross Chopping
him before he uses Disable. Fortunately for Luthor, being a Slowpoke he
doesn't feel the pain from the attack just yet, and the Machamp glows
blue as his Cross Chop attack is Disabled. "Luthor has managed to
OWWWWWW..." Luthor recoils in pain five seconds after being attacked.
Belle's not sure if Luthor's going to stay standing after the Cross
Chop, but she knows that she needs to tell her Slowpoke what to do in
advance so that he does it when he's supposed to and shouts, "Luthor,
hang in there and use Confusion!"
Timmy is familiar with every single Fighting Pokemon attack, but the
fact that he hasn't been educated about Psychic Pokemon attacks is
evident when he commands, "Machamp, use Cross Chop again!"
Timmy's Machamp tries to move his one free arm to use Cross Chop but
finds himself unable to do so. As the Machamp looks down at his
paralyzed arm in confusion, Luthor the Slowpoke sends out purple waves
of a Confusion attack, which hurt the Machamp and make his confusion
Timmy is outraged, "How could that little Slowpoke still be standing
after my Machamp's Cross Chop attack?! And why can't he move his arm?!
And why is he now stumbling around with a goofy expression on his
Chuck, from the sidelines, answers all of Timmy's questions, "Your
Machamp's Cross Chop was weakened 'cuz he couldn't use all four arms to
perform it. He can't move his arm 'cuz his Cross Chop's been Disabled -
you should know that by now. He's stumbling around 'cuz he's confused.
You don't know all this 'cuz you haven't bothered to study lately,
thinking you're the smartest person in this Gym. It's your arrogance,
Timmy, not Belle's, that's keeping you from winning this match."
Timmy frowns, "Well, if he can't use Cross Chop... Machamp, use Low
"Use Confusion again, Luthor!" Belle instructs her Slowpoke, who's still
in pain from the earlier Cross Chop attack but still able to battle.
Right after Timmy's shiny Machamp kicks himself on his other leg and
falls over, Luthor taunts, "It appears that the Hulk is not quite as
incredible in this universe as he is in others!" The Slowpoke then
releases waves of Confusion again, hitting the Machamp who's already hit
himself as a result of the earlier Confusion attack.
Timmy grinds his teeth in frustration, seeing the mighty Machamp who
once defeated Chuck's Machoke running in circles on the Arena's floor
calling out, "Mama! Mama! Mama!" The Machamp's Trainer narrows his eyes
and says, "Machamp, if you're just gonna kick yourself if I tell you to
use Low Kick, then use Mega Kick."
Belle, noticing that the Machamp seems severely weakened, says, "All
right, Luthor, finish him off with a Headbutt attack!"
Timmy's Machamp picks himself up off the Arena floor, assumes a crane
position, then launches himself into the air to perform a Mega Kick! He
soars towards Luthor the Slowpoke, his intended target... then soars
right over Luthor... and he lands rather painfully on the floor behind
the Slowpoke. Luthor crawls up to where the injured Machamp is sprawled,
climbs onto the Fighting Pokemon's chest, and slams his thick skull onto
the Machamp's head, performing a Headbutt attack. Timmy's Machamp
momentarily flinches right before fainting on the spot.
After a moment of stunned silence from everyone watching, Luthor the
Slowpoke says, "What is this strange feeling within my body? It seems
familiar, although it has been a long while since I have experienced
"Accomplishment?" Belle inquires, smiling since her Slowpoke has proven
that he's not worthless to everyone present.
Timmy, dejected after his most powerful Fighting Pokemon has lost to an
insane Slowpoke, asks, "Shock?"
"Power?" Chuck suggests. He's now even more sure that Belle and her
Slowpoke will represent the Cianwood Gym well.
"I remember now! This is what it feels like to learn a new move." Luthor
the Slowpoke grins, looking down at the Machamp he's still standing on,
"I have waited for years to learn how to perform Water Gun, so that I
can spit at my enemies when I have defeated them! Congratulations,
Hulk, you shall be the first to be spit on by the future ruler of the
entire Multiverse!" Luthor opens his mouth to use his new attack, hoping
a powerful stream of water will be released...
But all that's released is a raspy, dopey-sounding Growling noise.
"What?!" Luthor Growls, angered that Water is not spewing out of his
open maw, "Curses! Luthor has learned how to Growl, not how to use Water
Gun! Why couldn't Luthor have been born in Johto, where Slowpoke learn
Water Gun early in life?"
Belle walks up to Luthor as Timmy pulls his Machamp back into his
Pokeball. She hugs her Slowpoke and says, "Don't worry, if you could
beat a Machamp without knowin' Water Gun, then you'll be able to beat
Water Pokemon at the Whirl Cup without knowin' it!" She calls Luthor
back into his Lure Ball, figuring he deserves to rest.
"Oh yeah, that reminds me. We're gonna be taking a ferry to Blue Point
Isle tomorrow." Chuck tells his students, "It's the first stop on the
way to Red Rock Isle, where the Whirl Cup's starting in a few days. We
should really get there on time."
"Chuck, kids - dinner's ready!" The voice of Chuck's wife from the
Dining Room is heard in the Arena.
As Chuck and the students gathered in the Arena head back to their seats
at the Dining Room table, Belle pulls down one of her eyelids and sticks
her tongue out at Timmy.