Subject: [PW] Crashing the Party Date: Fri, 29 Nov 2002 11:59:05 -0800 From: "DitzyRenamon \(Tech Weaver\)" <nichirasu@hotmail.com> Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon "So dis 'ere Elm bloke," Clyde said. "'E's like Professah Oak, raight?" "They do appear to be in the same field of study, yes," confirmed Ian, pushing up his glasses as he studied the file on the computer screen. "So Professor Elm probably has a lot of other people's Pokemon running around in his backyard, right?" Bon inquired. "That is a distinct possibility," Ian replied. "In any case, the Pokemon information he's collected could prove to be a valuable commodity." "So we wanna rob 'im blind, yeah?" Clyde asked. "Indubitably," Ian answered. "So what's the plan?" Bon asked. "Ah say we build us a giant robot," Clyde said with conviction. "Den we stomp our way onto 'is propahtay and make off wit' dah valuables." "Nah, too conspicuous," Ian rejected. "Besides, we did that last week." "We can pretend to be interior decorators," Bon suggested. "We'll barge in, make brash insults about the existing decor, toss him out of the house, steal everything while he's not looking, turn his lab into something simply atrocious, and charge an obscene amount of money!" "Ah'm not gonna go around acting like ah fruitcake," Clyde refused. "We've done that more times than I can count, anyway," Ian said. "We've been house cleaners, claims adjusters, exterminators, baby sitters, even ghosts! We should be using my plans!" "Your plans are way too complex," Bon complained. "Ah kin nevah remembah 'alf dah steps," Clyde added. "An' dey always make me 'ead hurt." "The plans are not too complex," Ian argued. "You're too simple!" "Simple!?" Bon and Clyde exclaimed. "Why I ougtta..." Unseen by the trio, a fourth person watched them from the shadows. He smiled to himself. He would take great pleasure in slaying these three buffoons most mercilessly. "We'll need rockit launchahs!" Clyde interrupted. "We won't need rocket launchers!" Ian screamed. Before they could argue further, a shadowy figure landed right in front of them. Surprised, they backed off a bit and were able to get a full view of the caped intruder. "Who da heck are you?" Clyde demanded. "As the harbringer of perdition," the mysterious newcomer began, not having yet made eye contact with Bon, Ian, or Clyde, "I will carve graves with your inscriptions. The name is Wing, of Team Rocket's Crash Faction!" PokeWars! featuring Smasher [PW] Crashing the Party written by Chet "Tech" Weaver "Well, that was easy," Smasher said as he left Professor Elm's lab accompanied by Shuriken the Starmie and Rush the Arcanine. "Now I'm all set to kick some Johto Gym Leader butt! Plus I have an updated PokeDex and PokeGear!" "Yep," Rush agreed. "Time to start another crazy-assed adventure! You know, today seems pretty uneventful so far. Almost as if it were glossed over so we could get to the good stuff." "Really?" Smasher asked. "Feels like a normal day to me." Officer Jenny rode past them on her motorbike. Upon seeing them, she made a quick u-turn and pulled up next to them. "Excuse me," Jenny said. "Are you Smasher, by any chance?" "Chances are I am," Smasher said. "Whassup?" "I'm afraid you'll have to come with me," Jenny replied. "Say wha...!?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Smasher was slowly lead by Officer Jenny down the steel-barred corridor of the New Bark Town jail. Rush and Shuriken were confiscated earlier and they, along with the rest of his Pokemon and gear, were placed in storage. The inmates hooted and hollered and made lurid comments as Jenny walked by and attempted to grab at her and Smasher through the bars. Jenny's nightstick rapping loudly against their cell doors set them in their place. Smasher watched the prisoners as he passed by. Some sat against the far wall and gave him the evil eye while a couple others leaned against their cell doors and made kissy faces at him. Someone unseen played a harmonica. He meandered a little too close to a cell he wasn't looking at and its occupant grabbed his arm violently. Officer Jenny smacked the prisoner's arm and told him to settle down. Soon they came to a stop outside one of the cells. Jenny silently unlocked the cell doors and opened them. "You have a visitor," Jenny said to the cell occupants. Smasher entered the cell and found that it was occupied by non other than Bon, Ian and Clyde. Gone were their Team Rocket costumes. Instead they wore the standard prison uniform. They were lounging about the cell as Ian played the harmonica. Jenny closed the cell door behind him. "So, it's you," Smasher said. "What's up?" Ian played a quick riff on the harmonica. "Looks laik Team Rocket's checkin' out dah prison scene," Clyde said. "We can still triple the trouble, if you know what we mean," Ian continued. "We'll play the Jail House Rock while..." Bon started. "Wait, stop," Smasher said. "Is this leading into an ocapella version of your normal theme?" "With harmonica back up," Ian replied. "Now, if you don't mind..." "I do," Smasher said. "Just cut to the chase and tell me why I'm here." "Fine, spoil sport," Bon said. "You see, the thing is..." "Uh, huh," Smasher said. "We sorta..." Ian trailed. "Yeah...?" Smasher urged. "Wot we'ah tryin' ta say is..." Clyde began. The three of them were suddenly on their knees with pleading looks on their faces. "We need your help!" they cried in unison. "Say what?" Smasher replied. "They've sent an assassin after us!" Bon explained. "We barely escaped with our lives!" Ian elaborated. "'Dey'll finish dah job if ya don' stop 'em!" Clyde implored. "Who?" Smasher asked. "The Crash Faction!" they answered at once. "The who?" Smasher asked. "Not The Who," Ian answered. "The Crash Faction. They're a subgroup of Team Rocket. They blame the disappearance of our boss and the fall of our criminal organization on incompetant goofballs who model themselves after Jessie and James. The idea is that if they didn't spend so much time working on giant mecha, dance routines and silly costumes, then Team Rocket wouldn't be the sorry mess that it is today." "Can you believe that they think we're incompetant goofballs like Jessie and James?" Bon asked. "We'ah nothin' like dose two!" Clyde added. "You don't say," Smasher noted. "Anyway," Ian continued, "Rather than just leave Team Rocket and start their own organization, they've decided to return honor to Team Rocket by 'purifying' it." "In other words, killing us," Bon added. "I don't understand," Smasher said. "Why not just kick you out of Team Rocket?" "We canna be fired," Clyde replied. "Dah Team wen' down dah tubes yeahs ago, an' we'ah still callin' ahselves Rockets." "People like us have too much pride in our Team to just drop the name," Bon added. "We'd carry on the name even if we were the last Rockets on Earth, even if we're locked in prison, even if the rest of the Team changes the name!" "Our very existance is anathema to them," Ian elaborated. "We'll be Rockets until the day we die, if not in name then in spirit. They see us as promoters of what we do. You see, they can't just kick us out. We have to made into examples." "Harsh," Smasher commented. "But what do you want me to do? Take down the Crash Faction on my own?" "It onlay took one man to topple Team Rocket," Clyde pointed out. "You could rebuild Anti-Team Rocket!" Bon suggested. "Except as the Anti-Crash Faction this time!" "While the destruction of the Crash Faction would be nice, that's not what we were planning for you," Ian said. "Then what?" Smasher asked. "I believe I can answer that," Officer Jenny said. "These three have offered to give us valuable information about Team Rocket if we can ensure their safety. We've set up a safe house in Cherrygrove City, and they've asked that you escort help them." "Me?" Smasher was taken aback. "But we're mortal enemies." "You were a worthy foe," Bon explained. "You've beaten us at every turn." "That's how we know that you're the man for the job," Ian said. "If there's anyone who can protect us from another Rocket, it's you." "An experienced Pokemon trainer like you could prove to be an effective deterrent," Officer Jenny added. "Jus' be warned, 'dese boys faight dirtay," Clyde said. "Real dirtay. If ya try ta beat 'em in a Pokemon match, you'll be dead by dah time it's ovah." He pointed to a large bandage on his arm. "Ah found dat out dah 'ard way. If Ian hadn'tah noticed the knife in time, I'd be six feet undah by now. Thanks again, mate." "Don't mention it," Ian said. "So, will you do it Smasher?" "I don't know," Smasher said. "It sounds kinda dangerous." "If I'm not mistaken, danger is what you live for," Bon said. "Besides, you can't let us bite the dust. Not after what we've been through together." Smasher thought about it for a moment. "I'll do it," he answered. Later they were on a bus heading for the next town. The bus ride had been pretty quiet. Smasher looked out his window as the highway zoomed by in the night. Bon, Ian, and Clyde were sitting in nearby seats. They were joined by a few police officers (for their protection, of course). "So what will you do?" Smasher asked. "Huh?" replied Bon. "After you quit," Smasher clarified. "You guys are quitting Team Rocket, right?" "I haven't really thought about it," Bon answered. "I guess we might. The others might just turn us over to the Crash Faction to avoid a conflict if we tried to get protection from them." "And because you betrayed them," Smasher added. "Perhaps," Bon said. She leaned back in her seat and rested the back of her head with her hands. "But things have been chaotic since the boss left." "What do you mean?" "Let's just say that things may have changed since we last heard from other Rockets." Bon glanced over at Smasher. He had a faraway look in his eyes. "What is it?" Bon asked. "Something doesn't feel right," Smasher answered. "For the past couple years, I've been working on not only Pokemon skills but my skating and channeling abilities as well. I'll admit that I've spread myself a bit thin, but when I put it all together I develop what I call a 'Skater Sense' that allows me to sense impending danger." "Isn't called a 'Sixth Sense'?" Bon inquired. "Well, yeah," Smasher replied. "Except that... Well, okay, it's exactly like a Sixth Sense, but I prefer my name for it." "Just how well can you predict the future?" "I'm right on about half the time." "And the other half?" "I'm wrong." "How is that different from guessing?" "Hey, don't mock me." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------- "That's the bus, alright. A little late, but what do you expect from mass transit?" Wing put down his binoculars and nodded to the Rocket Grunt next to him. "Those fools thought they could turn to the police? Didn't they know that Team Rocket's reach extended even there? They should've realized that a Crash Faction member would report them." The Rocket Grunt hefted a rocket launcher onto his shoulder and fired at the bus. The missile didn't strike it directly, but it was hit with enough force to knock it over. Wing slid down the hill, followed by several Rocket Grunts, and boarded the bus. "Ladies and gentleman," he proclaimed. "I apologize for the inconvenience, but I'm afraid we'll have to search your vehicle for..." Wing took a good look around the bus. Something wasn't right. He marched down the length of the bus and back, looking at each and every face. A few had their faces covered, but when he unmasked them they weren't anyone he recognized. "They're not here!" he yelled. "Search the area! They couldn't have gotten far!" Wing glanced up at the night sky. A Skarmory was flying over head. Skarmory? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------- "It's a good thing you got us off that bus," Ian said. "Yeah, we owe ya one, mate," Clyde added. "No problem," Smasher said. "Though I thought they'd just blow it up or something." "Why do I have to be carried in the claws!?" Bon demanded. "StarScream can only carry so many people on his back," Smasher explained. "Just be glad there's only three of you. StarScream is barely able to maintain altitude.... Wha?" StarScream instinctively dodged left as a brown blur flew past. A larger, silver blur zoomed by on the other side. Focusing ahead of them, Smasher could see a Farfetch'd waiting next to a man standing on the back of another Skarmory. "It's Wing!" Bon exclaimed. "He found us!" Clyde yelled. "You're clever, I'll give you that," Wing said. "You three thought this skater punk could protect you from the Master of All Things Sharp and Pointy?" "All Things Sharp and Pointy?" Smasher noted. "What kind of nickname is that?" "It's the perfect nickname for me, for there is nothing I cannot slice or skewer!" Wing proclaimed. "Besides, 'Master of Blades' was already taken." "That's pathetic!" Smasher laughed. "It sounds like something from a dumb webcomic!" "Still thy tongue, lest I cut it off! We'll see how dumb it sounds when you join your friends in the next life!" "Whatever, dude. Are you sure this guy is *against* incompetant goofballs?" "SHUT UP! It's time I finished what I started! Sneasel, Farfetch'd! Team up!" Wing opened a PokeBall, releasing the Sneasel in mid-air. The Farfetch'd caught the Dark-type on its back. "Sneasel!" Wing called out. "Ice Beam them out of the sky!" "StarScream!" Smasher yelled. "Dodge it!" StarScream banked, barely avoiding the Ice Beam. "Evade if you can," Wing taunted. "But it will hit you eventually!" "Okay, if that's how we're gonna play it," Smasher said. "Pikat-Shoo! Shuriken! Team up!" Shuriken flew up from the forest below, catching the Pikachu as it materialized. "All right!" Smasher cheered. "Pikat-Shoo, Thunderbolt!" "Farfetch'd, Fly attack!" Farfetch'd and Sneasel flew higher into the air, avoiding Pikat-Shoo's electric attack. "Sneasel, Slash!" "Both of you! Double Team!" Sneasel and Farfetch'd dove into Pikat-Shoo and Shuriken, only to dive between a pair of illusions. They brought themselves about for another attack and found themselves facing several Pikat-Shoos and Shurikens. Smasher chuckled. "Double Team squared." "Sneasel, Ice Beam all of them!" Sneasel swung its Ice Beam through the air like a sword, picking off the illusions several at a time. "Shuriken, Psychic!" Pikat-Shoo hung on to Shuriken's back at the Starmie up-turned itself to face its jeweled side at the pair. With a flash from the jewel, a psychic assault slammed into its targets. Sneasel was unaffected, but the Farfetch'd was out cold. "Scyther! Go team up with Sneasel! Farfetch'd, return!" Wing simultaneously recalled his Farfetch'd and released his Scyther, which promptly caught Sneasel on its back and flew up to Wing's level. "You have got to be kidding me," Smasher whined. "I insist that you kid me!" "If this is too much for you, you can always just give up and hand over the heathens," Wing offered. "I don't think so," Smasher declined. "Why do you defend them?" Wing inquired. "Are they not your enemies? Do you not believe in justice?" "I believe in justice, all right," Smasher answered. "But you're executing them for a crime they didn't commit, and the ones they did do don't call for it! This isn't justice! It's genocide, or something to that effect!" "Well said," Ian said flatly. "I didn't know the right word, okay?" Smasher said. "Anyway, Wing, you're not on the path to justice! You're on the road to vengence!" "Let's not argue semantics," Wing said. "Sneasel! Scyther! Slash attack!" "Pikat-Shoo! Thunderbolt!" "Pika-CHUUU!" Pikat-Shoo's lightning bolt knocked out Scyther as it dove towards him. Sneasel, meanwhile, leapt off before the bolt could hit and landed on Shuriken. "Now let's see how well your 'Pikat-Shoo' handles close-quarters combat," Wing said. "Sneasel, Slash attack!" "Pikat-Shoo, return!" Smasher said, recalling the Pikachu into its PokeBall. "Shuriken, Rapid Spin!" Shuriken spun wildly and threw the Sneasel off. The Sneasel just landed gracefully on its trainer's shoulders. "Excellent counter," Wing remarked, pulling a PokeBall from the seventh slot on his belt. "But you'll find that I have many tricks up my sleeve!" "StarScream, Steel Wing!" Smasher commanded. "PokeBall, GO!" Wing shouted. He flung the PokeBall, aiming directly for Smasher. Instead of splitting open on the hinge like a normal PokeBall, this one sprouted whirling blades. Before it could strike the intended target, however, StarScream charged up its wings and used them breifly as a shield, deflecting the false ball. "WHAT!?" Wing exclaimed. "Impossible! No one ever sees that one coming!" "You're not the only one with tricks up his sleeve," Smasher said. "Shuriken, Rapid Spin!" Shuriken rapidly spun his way to his opponent. "Skarmory, Drill Peck!" Wing's Skarmory began to spin as well, flying right into Shuriken. At the last moment, the Skarmory veered off and slammed into StarScream. The impact knocked off all the passengers StarScream was carrying. StarScream recovered and dove into the darkened forest below to rescue them. After an uncertain moment in which Wing could not discern any sort of activity, it flew back up carrying only Smasher. "I have only one thing to say to you," Smasher said, visibly upset as StarScream brought him back up to Wing's altitude. "And what is that?" Wing asked with a smirk. "Hidden Power!" Smasher called out as he and StarScream zoomed right by Wing. Wing turned around to watch them fly off only to find himself facing a glowing Starmie. Before Wing could react, Shuriken's Hidden Power attack exploded all over him, sending him flying into the distance. "Let's go," Smasher sighed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------- In Cherrygrove city, Smasher stood before three graves. Not having brought a suit with him, he made sure that the clothes he wore were at least clean. He held his helmet in his hands as he bowed his head in respect for the dead. Rush and Shuriken stood by him in silence. "Well, guys, looks like it's over," Smasher said as he ran a hand over one of the gravestones. "The Crash Faction won't be trying to kill you any more." "Nope," Bon replied. "Not seein' as we'ah dead 'n' all," Clyde added. "Unless they figure out that we faked our deaths," Ian noted. "What are you gonna do now that you're out of Team Rocket?" Rush asked. "Maybe we'llah start up uh a rock band," Clyde considered. "Or we could start our own criminal organization," Ian mused. "I think we deserve a vacation," Bon said. "I hear the Whirl Islands are nice this time of year." "You could rebuild Anti-Team Rocket," Smasher suggested. "Except as the Anti-Crash Faction this time. Take down the people that tried to kill you." "But what do you want us to do?" Bon asked. "Take down the Crash Faction on our own?" "It only took one man to topple Team Rocket," Rush pointed out. "With the three of you, you stand a pretty good chance." Everyone laughed at the irony for a moment. "We'llah hafta tink abou' 'dat," Clyde said. "What are your plans?" Ian asked. "My mission remains the same," Smasher said. "Collect Gym Badges, become an extreme Pokemon trainer, and have some serious adventures!" "Well, good luck to you," Bon said. "Same to you," Smasher said, returning the sentiment. He then put his helmet back on, hopped on his skate board and said, "Rush, Shuriken! Let's go! It's time to get extreme!" To be continued...? -- Chet "Tech" Weaver's Revised Basic Sig Desperado Coyote! http://desperadocoyote.keenspace.com "No ride is complete without a clown in an electric chair." -- My brother "That depends on what you mean. If by 'ready' you mean 'superior to you in each and every way,' then, yes, I am." -- Vegito, DragonBall Z ("Meet Vegito")