Subject: [PW!] "Early Morning" With Conan Abraien Date: Wed, 20 Nov 2002 05:56:31 GMT From: Rob <robfrompw@yahoo.com> Organization: AT&T Worldnet Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon "From PBC Studios in Celadon City, it's 'Early Morning' with Conan Abraien!" The loud, booming voice of an announcer emanates from the television set in a Goldenrod City apartment. Although the voice brings much joy to the middle-aged man sitting in a green bean bag chair across from the television, it annoys the Ditto who's sharing the room with him since she's trying to do late night research for her own amusement using the computer in the room. The middle-aged man, Marvin, grabs a nearby bag of potato chips and proceeds to scarf them down. As the announcer lists which celebrities are going to be featured on the show, Marvin's already chuckling in anticipation of Conan's upcoming monologue. The Ditto, Xerox, who's wearing Scope Lens glasses to see the information on the monitor before her, can't concentrate on her studies while the show's jazzy theme song blares in the background. She narrows her little black eyes and says, "Seriously, master, I do not know why you find that show humorous. Half the time, he is dancing around like an idiot or making lame observations about Notoriously Prominent Celebrities, and the other half he is interviewing the aforementioned NPCs." "First of all, it's called the Patented Mankey Dance." Marvin declares, as the host of the TV show, a tall, lanky, red-headed man wearing a suit appears on the screen and flails his arms while jumping around to get cheers from the audience. Marvin then adds, "Second of all, the show is very humorous. Just watch - the monologue, or 'Chuckle Central' as he likes to call it, is about to start!" Marvin is on the edge of his bean bag chair as the host finishes jumping around insanely. "We've got a great show for you tonight, folks! Most of the time, I'd say about 97.3 percent of the time, I come out here and say how bad the show's gonna be, but this time we've got a winner!" The host exclaims with a wide grin on his face, then the grin immediately fades and he says, "No, I lied. It's going to be crap again tonight. Or not. We'll see. No, seriously, we've got some great guests here tonight. But now, it's time to take a look at the world news. And after all, news is what the three people in Kanto and two in Johto tune in to watch my show for - not comedy. We gave up on comedy about six years ago." Marvin laughed at just about everything Conan Abraien just said, but Xerox simply nods when she overhears the last sentence Conan said and struggles to keep focused on her Pokemon Neurology research while the host continues his monologue. "Did you hear about this? The Whirl Cup Competition's going to be held on Red Rock Isle in the Whirl Islands in just a few days..." After a few people in the audience clap, Conan says, "Okay, three of you know what I'm talking about. So, anyway, the Whirl Cup's coming soon, and get this - Lorelei Prima is going to be attending..." Many people in the crowd applaud, especially the male audience members, then Conan says, "Some of Lorelei's fans voiced concerns about Lorelei taking the S. S. Aqua from Kanto to Johto, but she told them 'don't worry, if anything goes wrong, I have my own flotation devices'." Marvin laughs out loud at the joke, grabs a nearby notepad, and jots something down, "That's gold, Conan - gold!" Conan puts his hand up to his mouth and whispers to the crowd, "It's 'cuz she's got the boobies!" After the audience cheers yet again, Conan straightens his tie and proudly declares, "I like explaining the jokes." Suddenly, he crouches down, disappearing from the screen, then he pops up right in front of the camera, hisses, and disappears from the screen again. Once he moves back into view, Conan explains, "They don't call me Abraien for nothing. I'm like an Abra. You don't know where I'm gonna pop up next!" The crowd applauds his nonsensical behavior, laughing and cheering for him. "I wish I were as young and physically fit as Conan..." Marvin notes to himself, "Then I could do more physical comedy." Overhearing his comment, Xerox shudders and tells Marvin, "Trust me, master, you are better off without it. It is not your proverbial 'thing'. You dancing around foolishly would be similar to... you entering the Whirl Cup Competition that was mentioned on the show, for example." "Actually..." Marvin turns away from the show a moment to tell his Pokemon, "I AM considering entering it. From what I've gathered from the past few monologues, it's a Water Pokemon competition and I've got an Octillery, so I could enter." Xerox turns away from the computer and faces Marvin to say, "You are the only person I know who considers 'Early Morning' a reputable news source. Based on what I've read on PNN's website, the Whirl Cup Competition is a tournament for Pokemon Trainers who have exceptional Water Pokemon. You have one Octillery who does not even obey you. We could go to Red Rock Isle as spectators, but it would not be prudent of you to enter, since you would almost certainly be disqualified in Round One." "Sure, it'd be prudent! So what if I get disqualified from the Competition in Round One?" Marvin asks the rhetorical question before explaining, "Fifteen minutes of fame is better than zero!" Xerox mutters, "If you last fifteen minutes." "What was that?" Marvin asks, then is suddenly distracted by loud laughter coming from the TV set, "Aww, I missed a joke!" Xerox scoffs, "I am certain that you did not miss much." She turns around to continue her Internet research as Marvin goes back to paying attention to Conan Abraien's show. "It was reported that Stevon Schpielbunk is making a new movie about a young boy who befriends a loveable Clefable who comes from the Moon on a spaceship." Conan pauses for applause, but the audience is silent, so he says, "It seems we've got a big book crowd here tonight." He speaks in a nasally voice as he holds up an index finger and pushes the bridge of his nose as if he were pushing up glasses, "Movies are bad! Books are good! Nerds rule!" After some people in the crowd chuckle, Conan says, "Anyway, apparently they had to stop filming since Schpielbunk confused the Clefable for a marshmallow and tried to eat it." Marvin chuckles, but most of the members of Conan's audience remain silent until the host whispers, "It's 'cuz he's fat!" The crowd cheers the joke's explanation, then Conan proceeds to dance around once again. When Conan starts to tell the crowd who's going to be on the show, Marvin tells his Ditto, "I've decided that we're heading to Olivine City this weekend to get on the next Ferry to the Whirl Islands so I can compete in the Whirl Cup." "Very well. I have no plans this weekend... or most, for that matter." Xerox opens her computer's planner and inputs the information, "My sister, on the other hand, probably has a date each night with a different person and/or Pokemon. You should tell her about the trip in advance." Marvin raises an eyebrow, "I thought she was going steady with that Dragonite, what's his name." "It seems my sister is not as open about her relationships with you as she is with me." Xerox says, then analyzes Famifax's dating habits, "When my sister does not see a male for more than a week, she tends to forget all about him. Drake has not visited her lately, so she has started dating the locals again. She is out on a date right now, as a matter of fact." "What? I thought she was sleeping." Marvin struggles to climb out of his green bean bag chair. Once standing, he walks into the apartment's single bedroom, where a hand is peeking from the edge of the large bed's sheets. He throws the sheets off the bed to reveal fake body parts from his magic shows lined up to look like an entire person. "It's almost 1 AM! Where could she be at this hour?!" Xerox calls out from the living room, "Do not worry, master. She usually oozes in by 3 AM and she hardly ever reeks of Pokénip." -Marvin