Subject: [PW!] Four Legged Freak! Date: Thu, 07 Nov 2002 19:24:11 GMT From: Rob <robfrompw@yahoo.com> Organization: AT&T Worldnet Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon "Hey, I see you have a Slowpoke! You probably appreciate Slow Pokemon!" A black-haired man with a goatee who's wearing a black shirt and blue jeans runs up to a blonde woman walking past the Azalea Town Gym with a Slowpoke in her arms. He rambles, "Hi, I'm Robert, the Diversity Gym Leader. Isn't it a lovely day? I sure think so! Care to join my club, the Slow Pokemon Appreciation Society? All you have to do is fill out a short application form and say a pledge! Normally, I charge a small fee, but if you accompany me into the Azalea Town Gym, I'll waive it. Wait, before you slap me, I'm not trying to hit on you - I have a beautiful girlfriend I love very much back home at Lavender Town. I just don't like Bug Pokemon and I'd really like it if I didn't have to go into the Bug Gym alone!" The young blonde woman looks at Robert, a Slowpoke's dopey expression on her pretty face as she tries to recall where she's seen him before. After a few seconds, both she and her Slowpoke remember who he is. Her blue eyes go wide, "Wow, so the rumors I've heard about people who roam around a small area of land repeating things over and over again are true." Robert, who's already bracing himself for a slap by tightening the muscles on his face, relaxes and simply asks, "Huh?" The woman explains, "Well, I've heard that in Kanto, a bunch of little kids say 'shorts are comfy and easy to wear' to everyone they talk to." "Yeah, that's true. I suspect the source of the problem resides in Pallet Town, where Professor Oak's senility seems to be spreading to the children who visit him." Robert narrows one eye at the woman, "But what does that have to do with me?" The Slowpoke in the blonde's arms looks up at her Trainer and comments, "Slow..." The blonde nods at her Pokemon before telling Robert, "A little over a month ago, you ran up to me as I walked down this road and told me almost exactly the same thing you told me a moment ago. You didn't tell me to not slap you..." "I added that part after the third time I was slapped." "...but everything else was the same. I told you I didn't wanna join your club since I only like Slowpoke and its evolutions, not Slow Pokemon in general, and kept on walking. And that's exactly what I plan to do again." "Wait! You're the seventeenth person who's turned me down this month!" Robert falls to his knees and pleads, "Please be my escort! I'll pay you! How much do you want? Do you take the Indigo Credit Card?" "Hey! Get up!" The blonde woman grabs Robert's arm and tries to pull him up, but he's too heavy for her, "If Officer Jenny hears you asking me that, we could both be hauled off to jail!" "Why?" Robert asks, confused, "I didn't hurt your Slowpoke - isn't that the only thing that's illegal in Azalea Town?" The blonde rolls her eyes, "Nevermind. Buh-bye, now." She marches away from Robert, leaving him alone outside the Gym. "Oh well. I can't delay this any longer!" The young man stands up, takes a deep breath, and sighs. He plucks a Pokeball off his belt with one hand, grabs his Great Ball with the other, and simultaneously releases the Pokemon contained within them. "Fetch'd!" Robert's Farfetch'd stretches out his wings and flaps them, glad to be out of his Pokeball. "Krow." Robert's Murkrow shifts his eyes around, taking in his new environment to see if there's any mischief he can cause. Robert crouches down and gives his two Flying Pokemon a pep talk, "Farfetch'd, Murkrow - I've been telling you for the past few months that someday you were going to get the chance to protect me from Bug Pokemon in a Gym, much like you did in the Ilex Forest. The time has finally come - I believe in both of you. If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't have the courage to do what I'm about to do. Now please follow me." Robert stands up straight and slowly walks through the doors of the Azalea Town Gym. His eyes start darting around the moment he sets foot inside the building, on the lookout for any Bug Pokemon. Murkrow's rubs his jet black wings together - his ridiculously nice, innocent, and pure Trainer usually doesn't encourage him to harm people or Pokemon, but he makes an exception for Bug Pokemon and this exception brings some happiness to the Dark Pokemon who ended up on his team. "Murkrow murk!" He flies after Robert, followed by Farfetch'd, who just walks into the Gym. When Robert walks all the way to the Gym's Arena without encountering a single Bug Pokemon on the way, he says, "Whew." Across from the Arena, a purple-haired boy is calling out, "Ariados! Ariados, where are you?!" The child, who's dressed in a camping outfit, sees Robert and shouts, "Hey, have you seen an Ariados?" Robert shakes his head and replies, "Nope - sorry, kid. I don't even know what an..." "Ariados!" A giant four-legged red Spider Pokemon dangling from a String Shot lowers himself down to Robert's eye level to greet him. An expression of pure terror appears on Robert's face the second he sees the Bug Pokemon, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "RIADOS!" The Ariados, frightened by the man screaming directly into his face, zips back up to the ceiling of the Gym. The purple-haired boy is immediately enraged. His eyebrows slant downwards, he crosses his arms, and yells at Robert, "Hey, what's the big idea, mister? Why'd you scare my poor little Ariados like that? He didn't do anything to you!" Robert asks in utter disbelief, "Scared HIM?! LITTLE?! ARIADOS?!" He pauses a moment, then says, "...okay, so maybe he WAS an Ariados, but he sure wasn't LITTLE and he's the one who scared ME! If there's one thing I hate more than regular-sized Bug Pokemon, Snake Pokemon, Rat Pokemon, Bat Pokemon, Jellyfish Pokemon, and Evolved Rat Pokemon it's GIANT SPIDER POKEMON! I came here to earn a Badge from the Gym Leader, not to have a heart attack!" "I'm Bugsy, the Gym Leader you're looking for, and I accept your challenge! We'll have a one-on-one match." Bugsy calls out to the scared Ariados crawling around the ceiling above his head, "Ariados, come down - we're going to teach this rude Bug Pokemon hater a lesson!" Without taking his eyes off the Ariados reluctantly lowering itself to the ground, Robert says, "Farfetch'd, get ready." "MURK?!" Robert's Murkrow is outraged - finally, a chance to battle a worthy opponent arises and Robert wants to deny him the chance to inflict pain upon the Pokemon. The Murkrow Pecks Farfetch'd's face since Robert's not looking and leaps into the Arena before Farfetch'd can realize what hit him. The Murkrow cackles in glee as Bugsy's Ariados lands right in front of him. Bugsy shouts, "Ariados, String Shot!" "Farfetch'd, Agility!" Robert shouts, so concentrated on staring at Bugsy's Ariados that he's not aware Murkrow is standing in the Arena instead of Farfetch'd. As Bugsy's Ariados spits his String Shot onto Murkrow, covering the Flying Pokemon's wings, Bugsy rolls his eyes and says, "You hate Bug Pokemon AND can't tell Flying Pokemon apart? That's a Murkrow, not a Farfetch'd. Ariados, Poison Sting!" "What?!" Robert glances down at the Pokemon Ariados is firing Poison Sting at and gasps when he sees his Murkrow, "Murkrow, I wanted Farfetch'd to fight, not you! I haven't even checked which attacks you have - I only know you know Peck. Use Peck!" "Urk." Murkrow trips when he tries to fly, his eyelids drooping since he's been poisoned by the Ariados' most recent attack. Not able to fly since his wings are tied down by the earlier String Shot attack, Murkrow only manages to Peck the Ariados' face once before the Spider Pokemon crawls back a few steps, barely hurt by the low level Pokemon's weak attack. Bugsy grins, knowing he's about to win the match, "Okay, Ariados, finish him off with Night Shade!" "Night Shade?!" Robert asks, his dark brown eyes widening as he starts to tremble, "That's a Gh-Gh-Gh-Gh-GHOST ARIADOS?!" "What?" Bugsy shakes his head, wondering how a man who looks to be at least a decade older than him can know so much less about Pokemon, "Night Shade's a Ghost Type attack, but Ghost Pokemon aren't the only ones who can learn it. In fact, even Murkrow learn it! I think you really should visit Earl's Pokemon Academy at Violet City after I defeat you. Ariados, what're you waiting for? Use Night Shade!" The Ariados, scared that the mean little Murkrow is going to Peck him again, looks at his Trainer and squeaks, "Riiiados?" Robert notices that the Ariados is stalling, and he decides to use the information Bugsy just revealed against him, "Murkrow, if Ariados doesn't want to finish YOU off with Night Shade, why don't YOU finish HIM off with Night Shade? Use Night Shade!" "Krow..." Murkrow stumbles towards where Bugsy's Ariados is standing, wanting to attack him... but when the Spider Pokemon sees the small Bird Pokemon approaching him, he gets scared and uses Night Shade! Purple waves shoot out from the Ariados, hitting the poisoned Murkrow hard. Robert's Murkrow tips over and when he tries to stand up again, the poison in his system does away with the last bit of health he had left after the Night Shade attack and he faints. Bugsy walks over to his Ariados and pets him on his head, "Good job, Ariados!" He then looks up at Robert and says, "I hope this has taught you to appreciate the power of Bug Pokemon." "I never doubted their power..." Robert recalls his Murkrow and takes a step back, disgusted by the sight of a person petting a Bug Pokemon, "I just find them horribly disgusting. I'm the Diversity Gym Leader, so if you'd like an Oasis Badge for beating me, I can..." "I don't want anything from you! Get out of my Gym now!" Bugsy, a look of anger on his face, points towards his Gym's exit, "I won't have people disrespecting Bug Pokemon in here! And don't come back until you learn some manners." Robert narrows his eyes and his jaw drops, "You have your Bug Pokemon scare people who walk into this place, then tell ME to learn some manners?! Farfetch'd, we're leaving." Robert turns around and marches towards the Gym's exit. Farfetch'd looks up at Bugsy, pulls his leek out of his beak, apologizes for his Trainer's behavior by saying, "Fetch'd, far far fetch'd far far," then turns around and follows Robert, rubbing his face where Murkrow Pecked it earlier. -Robert