Subject: [PW!] Getting Rid of Unwanted Guests Date: 15 Nov 2002 13:24:55 -0800 From: bandraptor@yahoo.com (Bandraptor) Organization: http://groups.google.com/ Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Blizzard the Persian bounds through the streets of Goldenrod City, a piece of paper in her mouth. She bounds past the Flower Shop, past the Name Rater, past the Underground, and up the steps of an exterior staircase that leads to an apartment building. She bounds through the door, through the living room, and into the kitchen, where a Blastoise is seated at a table, carefully going over his bills for the month. Blizzard throws the piece of paper down on the table. "Persian. <Carapaced Water-type, I request that you read this to me.>" The Blastoise doesn't bother to look at her. "Didn't I tell you to stay the hell out of my apartment?" Blizzard rolls her eyes at the uncooperative Blastoise, but she is patient in her response, "<Since you persist in believing that you have claim to this domicile, Sting and I have decided to let you live here with us. However, you will have to accept your share of the responsibilities that come with this arrangement--you will have to start pulling your weight around here.>" The Blastoise puts down his pen. "If you want me to even *pretend* to listen to this, you should probably wait until I've finished paying the rent." Blizzard noses the paper towards him, shoving the bills out of the way. "<As owner of this apartment, I insist that you read this to me.>" "Read it yourself!" Blizzard purses her lips for a minute, then explains, "<I cannot.>" The Blastoise narrows his eyes, "Did you, or did you not write that rambling manifesto that's posted on the bulletin board by the Magnet Train station?" Blizzard matches his expression, "Persian, <I did not claim to be illiterate. I simply expressed that I cannot read this particular piece of paper as of this moment. I have had a very full day of napping and grooming myself, and I do not wish to overexert my delicate body with this additional exercise.>" "Tough shit." "<If you read it to me,>" Blizzard offers generously, "<I will sit in your lap and purr, while pretending to be affectionate.>" "If I wanted that," the Blastoise says, "I'd hire a hooker from downstairs. It'd be a lot less effort." He looks at Blizzard for a moment, thinking of how much he'd like to be rid of her, and getting an idea, he picks up the piece of paper, and reads it over. "Purr, <what does it say?>" "It's an advertisement. For a new store." The Blastoise says completely evenly, "You wouldn't be interested in it, though, they only sell Jigglypuffs." "Persian?" Blizzard's entire body perks up. She immediately calms herself, "<How quaint.>" "Yeah, and they're running a special promotion, too. Free Jigglypuffs to anyone who brings a Persian into the store." Blizzard nonchalantly begins to clean her whiskers. "<And where is this store located?>" She asks between licks. "See that road over there?" The Blastoise walks over to the kitchen window and points, "The one with the road marker that says, 'Leaving Goldenrod'? That's the road you want to take. It'll lead you right to the store." "<How will I know when I have reached my destination?>" "Haven't you been listening?" The Blastoise snaps, "If the road leads right to the store, then you keep walking until you've reached the store!" "<Very well,>" Blizzard nods, committing these directions to memory, "<I shall take my leave of you.>" She turns around, and walks out the front door. The Blastoise takes another look at the piece of paper, which is merely a printout of the Magnet Train schedule for the day. He shakes his head, kind of amazed that Blizzard bought into his ruse, but not really, "Stupid Persian. Maybe I'll get lucky, and she'll walk straight into the sea." Meanwhile, Blizzard is prancing down the stairs, on her way to tell Sting and Avalanche the good news about the Jigglypuff giveaway. "<What a foolish Blastoise.>" She thinks to herself, "<If he had thought to come to the store with me, he could have gotten a free Jigglypuff too!>" TBC? --Beth