Subject: [PW!] How to Break the Law
Date: Wed, 2 Oct 2002 17:09:41 +0000 (UTC)
From: "Steffan Alun"
Organization: BT Openworld
"Security and safety is very important to our company. All our sales
are checked to ensure the safety of our employees and customers. Our stocks
are always of the highest quality to guarantee durability in the long term.
"All vehicles visiting any of our offices - cars, vans, lorries or even
helicopters - will be heavily protected. We try to make our parking areas
as safe as is humanly possible. We spend a lot of money each year on locks,
security guards and CCTV. This means visitors can be safe in the knowledge
that their vehicles are well-protected."
-- from "ComComCom - A Bright Future For Bright People", published December
Pokewars!: Ralph Harrison
"How to Break the Law"
Mr Harrison, manager of ComComCom's marketing department in Goldenrod,
had intended to use $1500 of the company's budget to buy durable electricity
and phone cables. He hadn't even considered buying $800-worth of cheap
cable and spending the remaining $700 on a semi-automatic pistol.
The fact that he now had cheap cable, a pistol and enough clips of
bullets to take out half the city confused him slightly.
The confusion did not hinder his actions, though. Mr Harrison had a
Mr Harrison had not become the manager of the ComComCom marketing
department by doing nothing. Actually, he'd done so by doing SOMETHING,
which was more than most emplyees ever did. However, Mr Harrison was an
intelligent man. While his brain had virtually no say in what his body did,
it did not render the brain useless. He'd learned an incredible amount of
information about the way the company's systems worked during the past three
Everything the company did revolved around a single satellite. In fact,
everything any company - or any ordinary civilian - in Johto did involving a
phone line depended on that same satellite.
This had caused problems for ComComCom as soon as it had been
established. It was very difficult to be granted permission to use the
satellite, and it also costed a lot of money to use. The company could
never execute new commands for the satellite themselves; programs for the
satellite had to be sent to a larger firm to be double-checked first, and
then the programs would be added to the satellite's controlling mainframe.
The mainframe was well-hidden, of course. If it were to be destroyed,
entire countries would be devastated.
Mr Harrison had no desire to destroy the mainframe. He simply needed to
upload a program to its database. The program in itself would need to be
undetectable to people checking the mainframe, or at least very well
disguised. It would need to operate from somewhere apart from any buildings
with connections to ComComCom. It wouldn't have to be anywhere near the
mainframe itself, but it DID need to be somewhere where few people ever
went; especially people who would recognise a self-supporting communications
hub. The place chosen also had to be able to send many satellite signals
for a long period of time.
There was only one such place in the whole of Johto that filled all
criteria, and it happened to be in Goldenrod.
The Radio Tower.
There was a reason that very few people went to the Radio Tower's
transmission pylon; it was very well-guarded.
To get there would require entering the Radio Tower via the front door
(which would instantly attract an unwanted level of suspicion), entering the
main building (which would require passing the reception area and getting in
through a locked door, which could only be opened by the receptionist),
climbing to the top of the building (which would mean passing every single
DJ, actor, producer and technician in the building), getting into the upper
levels (which would involve passing a colossal ammount of security; humans,
CCTV and Pokémon alike) and finally climing the transmission pylon to a
point high enough to be hidden from anyone making checks and repairs on the
pylon. Of course, after attracting so much attention, anything placed on
the pylon would be discovered within hours.
Needless to say, Mr Harrison needed another way to get to the top of the
His first idea was to climb up the back. It wouldn't have worked, but
that wasn't why he scrapped the idea. It was because he was already on the
phone inviting the president of ComComCom over to go over his latest
The top of the marketing building doubled as a helicopter landing pad.
This was for anyone irresponsible enough to want to leave a helicopter on
top of a building belonging to people whose idea of security was putting up
a sign reading "DO NOT STEAL THIS HELICOPTER".
The president of ComComCom, however, was rather sensible about this; he
bought a Machamp and a Golem to protect his helicopter while he entered the
That afternoon, the president's helicopter arrived at the marketing
office. Shortly, there came a knock on Mr Harrison's door.
"Good afternoon, sir," he said. "Take a seat."
"I noticed you'd taken fifteen-hundred dollars from your account this
morning. I take it you've bought something since then." The president of
ComComCom was not a man who liked to spend too much time on anything. This
was evident from the company's less-than-catchy name.
"I have indeed, sir," said Mr Harrison. "In fact, I want to begin by
showing you exactly what."
Mr Harrison had now confused himself. Why did he want to show the
president tonnes of cheap cable?
He pressed the buzzer on his desk.
"Mike, could you bring in the stuff I gave you earlier?" he said.
Wait, thought Mr Harrison. Mike's not here. He never is at this time
of day. That's the time he goes to pick up his daughter from school. Why
had he buzzed his assistant when he knew he wasn't there?
"He must've left early," said Mr Harrison to the president. "I'll go
get it myself. Would you like me to get you some tea while I'm downstairs?"
"Alright, then," said the president. "No milk, though. I went to a
Miltank farm once, and the process seemed too icky for my liking."
Mr Harrison walked downstairs, contemplating whether he wanted his
future to involve working for a company owned by a man who thought milk was
"Hello ladies," he said as he entered the tea room. He wanted to ask
for tea. He really did. "Has anyone got a Pokémon that knows a Water and
"My Wartortle knows Dream Eater," said one of the tea ladies.
"I've got a Psyduck that knows Confusion," said another.
"My Smeargle knows Hydro Pump and Psychic."
"My Drowzee has a Water Hidden Power."
"My Poliwrath knows Hypnosis."
"I'll take the Poliwrath," said Mr Harrison, who could no longer cope
with the ladies' enthusiasm.
Grabbing the Poké Ball, Mr Harrison ran upstairs, taking the steps four
at a time.
He ran past his office, grabbing a piece of cable on the way, and
continued to the top of the building.
The door at which he arrived was locked. There was no getting past that
lock. The hinges, however, crumbled like dust.
"Use Hypnosis on that Machamp," whispered Mr Harrison. He didn't have
to worry about the CCTV cameras placed around the area; he knew they didn't
The Machamp had its back to the door, facing the helicopter. Poliwrath
obeyed its orders, sending Machamp to sleep.
Golem instantly attacked. He rolled towards Mr Harrison with shocking
Mr Harrison's first thought was to draw his gun. However, even if he
hadn't realised that a bullet would do no damage to the huge boulder, his
body wanted to run to take cover behind the helicopter's wheel. He ran,
dragging the cable behind him.
Golem continued to roll, and slammed into the door. The lock broke and
the door popped out of its frame.
Poliwrath decided not to wait for a further command, and used its Bubble
attack on Golem. While this weakened the monster severely, it was not
enough to knock it out. Poliwrath ran for the helicopter.
By this time, Mr Harrison was already rearranging wires behind the
ignition, having shot the thing with his pistol.
Mr Harrison was mildly surprised to see the Poliwrath climbing into the
passenger seat. Poliwrath was far more surprised when the helicopter's
rotors began to rotate.
Getting the hang of the controls, Mr Harrison got the helicopter into
the air. He tried to turn to face the Radio Tower, but it wasn't to be.
The helicopter continued to rise regardless of the steering's input.
"Probably shouldn't have shot that bit," muttered Mr Harrison to
Poliwrath pulled a few wires out of curiosity. This made matters worse.
The helicopter began to swivel in random patterns.
This was a bad idea from the start, thought Mr Harrison. Wait! It WAS
a bad idea from the start. That was painfully obvious. Then why had he
even attempted it? He knew it wouldn't work. Why hadn't he at least read
up on controlling a helicopter?
He'd be in trouble for this. Only one thing for it.
Mr Harrison grabbed the cable from the back seat and tied it securely to
the door. He opened it slightly, clutching to the other end of the cable.
Breathing in short gasps, he jumped.
On his way down, he shot the wires a few times. It caught fire.
Of course, with cheap cable being cheap cable, Mr Harrison's weight was
far too much to be supported by it. He plummeted quickly to the ground,
followed by a helicopter. He did not expect to live, and wanted to scream.
Wanting to scream was irrelevant. His body wanted to die in silence.
I suspect I may have taken things too quickly. Feedback would be
A large collection of plagarism: