Subject: [PW] If The Silver Mountain Won't Come to Mohammed... Date: Fri, 18 Oct 2002 14:56:08 -0700 From: "DitzyRenamon \(Tech Weaver\)" <nichirasu@hotmail.com> Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon "Alright, it's up to you now, Gothzilla!" Smasher cheered on his Pokemon. "Bite attack, now!" The Larvitar sitting in front of Smasher sighed, stood up, walked over to a nearby Bellsprout and bit it. The Bellsprout fainted immediately. "You did it, Gothzilla!" Smasher shouted, clearly more enthusiastic than his Pokemon. He ran up to Gothzilla and gave him a big hug. "I knew you could beat that big, bad Bellsprout." "Hooray," a nearby Arcanine said in a monotone manner. "You saved us all. Yippee-skippee." "What's the matter?" Smasher asked Gothzilla. "You don't look happy." The Arcanine yawned and replied, "Maybe its the fact you had it fight a level five Bellsprout, or how you're obviously trying to cheer him up, all your fake enthusiasm, being named 'Gothzilla'..." Smasher shot a look at the Arcanine and Starmie lounging beneath a nearby tree and said, "Rush, you're not helping." "Like giving him all these easy victories is helping any," Rush said. "The chico's been terminally depressed since day one. Face it, Jeffe. He doesn't need a trainer, he needs a psychiatrist." "Well, I'm not giving up on him," Smasher said with determination. "You know why?" "Because you're too cheap to get professional help or just a new Larvitar?" "Yes! I mean, no! I'm not giving up on him because I know that one day he will become an awesome and mighty Tyranitar! His powerful roar and immunity to Psychic attacks will induce fear the world over! He will be the biggest of the big time! That's right! In fact, that will be his name from now on! You hear that, Gothzilla? From now on, you'll be known as Big Time!" The newly-christened Big Time was less than thrilled. He just yawned and went to join Rush and Shuriken beneath the tree. "Maybe you should get a job as an inspirational speaker, Jeffe," Rush suggested. "Oh, ha ha," Smasher said. Then he thought for a moment. "Maybe it has to do with the fact that Big Time was all alone when we found him. Maybe he got seperated from his family and friends and didn't know how to get home." "Maybe his old trainer gave him up because he was so depressing," Rush commented. Smasher didn't respond. Instead, he pulled out his PokeDex. "Where do Larvitar come from?" Smasher asked. "You see, when a mommy Tyranitar and a daddy Tyranitar love each other very much..." Rush began in a soothing tone. "Not you," Smasher said. "Larvitar make their home in Mt. Silver, located in the Johto region," the PokeDex reported. The PokeDex also displayed a map of the Johto region, with Mt. Silver indicated on by a blinking icon. Smasher scrolled the map to the right a bit and noticed it was near Indigo Plateau. "Indigo Plateau," Smasher noted. "I think I noticed a passageway leading to Mt. Silver somewhere near Victory Road last time I was there." He put his PokeDex away and turned to his Pokemon. "C'mon, guys! We're heading for Mt. Silver!" Tech Weaver presents... A Tech Weaver production of... PokeWars: Smasher Today's episode: "If the Silver Mountain Won't Come to Mohammed..." written by Chet "Tech" Weaver "Skarmoryyyyy, skarmoraaaaa, skarmoryyyyy, skarmorah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Big Time wasn't exactly entertained by Smasher's song. In fact, of the four individuals present, the only ones not annoyed by it was Smasher and the Skarmory they were riding who also happened to singing along. They had been singing it for a good portion of the trip, and Shuriken swore to himself that if it went on a minute longer he was going to crack open his trainer's skull and digest the gooey mass inside. Fortunately, about that time they had arrived at their destination. They dismounted and Smasher recalled his Skarmory. "Here we are, guys," Smasher said. "The entrance to Victory Road. Aren't you exicited to be so close to home, Big Time?" Needless to say, Big Time wasn't. "Well, I'm sure you will be once you're inside and you see all your friends," Smasher said, leading his two Pokemon through the reception gate. He was about to enter the passage to Mt. Silver when a guard stopped him. "Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to see your badges," the guard said. "Oh, yeah, sorry," Smasher flashed the glove he wore with the badges pinned to it as he attempted to pass by the guard. However, the guard grabbed him by the wrist. "Are these all the badges you have, sir?" the guard asked. "Yeah," Smasher replied, breaking out of the guard's grasp. "Why?" "I'm afraid you don't have enough badges to qualify for entry," the guard answered. "Not enough badges!?" Smasher exclaimed. "What are you talking about? I have eight badges!" "Eight badges is the minimum for entrance into the Pokemon League," the guard explained. "However, Mt. Silver is a very dangerous area. You must have at least sixteen badges in order to pass." "Sixteen!? Where am I gonna get eight more badges!?" "Since you have all the Kanto League badges, I suggest you go to New Bark Town to register for the Johto League. From there, you may travel to each of the Johto League gyms and challenge each trainer for their badges." "Okay, fine. So where is this New Bark Town?" "Just exit this gate at Route 27. From there, head South until you reach Route 26 and head West. New Bark will be the first town you get to." "Right, thanks." With that, Smasher left the reception gate and went down Route 27. "I'm sorry we couldn't get you to Mt. Silver, Big Time," Smasher said. Big Time didn't reply. "I hope you're not mad at me or anything," Smasher continued. "It's not like there's anything I could do." Big Time remained silent. "Is there anything you want?" Smasher asked. "Anything at all?" Still no response. "Okay... So, you excited to see Johto? I think I am. Kanto's been getting dull lately. We hardly ever see Team Rocket anymore. Who knows what we'll run into. Maybe even a bigger, badder version of Team Rocket!" Nothing. Smasher stopped and turned to face his Pokemon. "Look, will you just say something already!? You haven't said more than six words since I've caught you! I'm trying to be your friend and help you, but how can I do that if you're not going to tell us what's bothering you!? All you do is sit around moping all day long and I have no idea what's going on inside that thick head of yours! I don't know if you're thinking about lunch, suicide, or taking out a high school! JUST WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM ALREADY!?!?" That got a response. Namely, Big Time's eyes got all wobbly and he ran off. "Aw, no. I didn't mean it like that! I'm sorry, Big Time! Big Time! Come back!" Smasher chased Big Time into the tall grass. For a creature with such stubby legs, the Larvitar was pretty quick. There weren't many places to hide, but Big Time eventually found a Berry Tree to climb up. "Big Time!" Smasher called out. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? Just come on down and we can talk about it." "Tar, larvitar," Big Time refused. "Hey mister," a younger kid who happened to be passing by said. "You need some help?" "Nah," Smasher said. "I can handle it." "Is that your Larvitar in the tree?" the kid asked. "You want me to get it down for you?" "I know how to climb a tree, kid," Smasher answered. "He probably just wants to be alone." "Why? What's wrong?" "I dunno. He's been depressed ever since I caught him. I thought taking him to Mt. Silver might cheer him up, but it turns out I don't have enough badges to get in." "Sounds like a problem." "Well, I've been meaning to go to Johto anyway. Kanto was a getting a bit stale, if you know what I mean." "Yeah." "You've been to Kanto?" "Born and raised. Where're you from?" "Lavender." "They have a new gym there now, don't they?" "The Diversity Gym, yeah. What town are you from?" "Pallet." "Nice place. I hear a great trainer came from there." "You better believe it! Well, see ya." "You heading for the Plateau?" "Nah. Silver Mountain. I figured I should get some training in." "Okay. Bye." "See ya." Somehow, Smasher managed to hold that conversation without so much as glancing at the person he was speaking with. He chanced a look at the fellow trainer as he began to disappear into the distance and noticed a familiar-looking red cap and blue jacket. "Was that...?" Smasher asked himself. Before he could ponder the question further, the sound of his Larvitar calling out grabbed his attention. Turning back to the tree he saw three Rockets, one of which was holding Big Time over her head with a berry-picking tool. "Looks like we've hit the Big Time," the girl said. "And it didn't cost us a dime," the nerd said. "An' now we'll do ah rhyme," the other guy said. The three Rocket took out their instruments and started playing. "Brave men tremble when they hear me shreik! With Bon on volcals, you're up a creek!" "Blazing past fire walls with the greatest of ease, with Ian on synth code-crackin's a breeze!" "Beatin' ya down wit' excessive force, it's Clyde on bass of course!" "TEAM ROCKET!" "Blasting off at the speed light!" "TEAM ROCKET!" "Singing evil tune every day and night!" "TEAM ROCKET!" "Surrendah now o' prepare ta fight!" "THAT'S RIGHT!" "Hey, you guys!" Smasher said cheerfully. "I haven't seen you guys in ages! How've you been? What have you scoundrels been up to?" "Wha? Erm..." Bon said, not having expected such a warm greeting. "We've been fine. We're just hanging around these two routes, trying to steal Pokemon from experienced trainers." "Any success?" Smasher asked. "Not really," Ian admitted. "I mean, we're able to snatch them often enough, but we keep getting our butts handed to us." "Ah, that's the Team Rocket I remember," Smasher said. "Remember the time in Pallet Town when I kicked your butts after you tried to steal the furniture from Ash Ketchum's house?" "Yeah," Clyde admitted in an annoyed tone. "And remember the time when you tried to freeze Seafoam Island, and I kicked your butts?" Smasher asked. "Yeah," Ian answered, getting even more annoyed. "And the time in Celadon, when you..." Smasher started. "Wait a minute," Bon interrupted. "I don't remember seeing you in Celadon City." "Yeah," Clyde agreed. "Ah remembah seein' dat dyke girlfrien' of your's, and some otha gel, but not you. But now dat I tink 'bout it, dat otha gel did look sommat familia..." "You know what?" Smasher said, trying to change the subject. "Let's forget about that." He got out a PokeBall. "Why don't we talk about the time you stole my Larvitar and I kicked your butts?" "That hasn't happened yet," Ian said. "Maybe someone should explain to you the laws of cause and effect..." "... *'Cause* we'ra 'bout ta beatcha," Clyde added. "... Or something to that effect," Bon finished. "Fearow, go!" Bon tossed out a PokeBall and produced said Fearow. "StarScream, it's time to get extreme!" Smasher called out. He threw his PokeBall into the air, sending his Skarmory into battle. "Fearow, Drill Peck!" "StarScream, Steel Wing!" StarScream's wings began to glow as it soared at its enemy. Similarly, the Fearow began to spin at great speed at an attempt to drill into its opponent. The Fearow's attack proved ineffective and StarScream clotheslined it with one of its wings. "Grab Big Time, StarScream!" StarScream swooped in and plucked the berry-grabber out of Bon's hands. "Oh, no ya don't!" Clyde called out. "Tentacruel, use your Wrap attack!" Clyde tossed out a PokeBall and his Tentacruel emerged. It immediately lashed out with a few tentacles and grabbed StarScream. "Pikat-Shoo!" Smasher called out, tossing another PokeBall in the air. "Thunderbolt Tentacruel!" Even while appearing in mid-air, the Pikachu known as Pikat-Shoo saluted and said "Pika pika," before unleashing electric fury upon the Tentacruel. Both Tentacruel and the ensnared StarScream fainted. "Oops, sorry StarScream," Smasher apologized as he recalled his Skarmory. "We'll make you really sorry!" Ian exclaimed, throwing in his own Pokemon. "Go, Porygon! Convert to Ground-type!" "Pory!" the Porygon confirmed. "Pikat-Shoo! Use another Thunderbolt before Porygon can convert!" "Pika!" Pikat-Shoo confirmed. "Piiikaaa... CHUUUUUU!!!" Pikat-Shoo fired off a massive Thunderbolt attack and the Porygon turned a brown color. Unfortunately, this was the effect of Porygon's Conversion2 technique, turning him into a ground type, instead of the Thunderbolt. "Now Porygon is immune to your electric attacks!" Ian taunted. "You guys," Smasher said disappointedly. "You should know by now that using Ground-types isn't going to work against a Surfing Pikachu! He'll beat you both coming and going!" "Not if we double-team him!" Bon declared. "Fearow, Drill Peck!" "Porygon, Headbutt!" The two attack struck Pikat-Shoo at the same time, tossing him to Smasher's feet. The Pikachu attempted to stand, but passed out instead. "Return, Pikat-Shoo," Smasher commanded, recalling Pikat-Shoo into his Pokeball. Reaching for another one, he said, "Alright, you guys are askin' for... Huh?" Smasher was surprised to see Big Time standing in front of him with arms outstretched as if attempting to block Team Rocket's attacks. "Big Time," Smasher said, astonished. "You want to fight them?" "Larvi," Big Time replied. "Larvitar!" "All right!" Smasher exclaimed. "There's hope for you yet!" "We'll see about that!" Ian called out. "Porygon, Headbutt attack!" "Fearow, Drill Peck!" The two attacks struck Big Time in the belly, but seemed to do more damage to themselves than to the Larvitar. "Trap them in a Sandstorm!" Smasher commanded. "Larvit," Bit Time replied. He began to spin about, kicking up dust and creating a huge tornado. The wind and sand caused everyone to try to cover their eyes. "Wot da heck is dis?" Clyde demanded. "It's Larvitar's Sandstorm attack!" Ian answered. "Forget Sandstorm!" Bon replied. "This is more like a maelstrom!" "Now, Bite that Fearow!" Smasher ordered. Big Time leapt at the Fearow and wrapped his jaws around its neck. Coming back down, he slammed the Fearow into the Porygon. "Shuriken!" Smasher called out. "Use the new combo I taught you! Combine Rapid Spin with your Hidden Power make the Rolling Thunder attack!" "Coo!" Shuriken exclaimed. The Starmie spun into Fearow, Tentacruel, and Porygon, knocking them into their trainers. Then it unleashed the Hidden Power attack, creating a huge explosion that sent Team Rocket flying. "Say it!" Smasher called out to them. "No!" Clyde shouted back as they flew through the air. "Say it!" "Never!" Ian refused. "C'mon! For old time's sake?" "Okay, fine!" Bon conceded before they all shouted, "Team Rocket's blasting off agaiiiinnnnnn!" *Ding!* "Wobba, wobba!" "A Wobuffet?" Smasher asked to himself. He turned around just in time to see a Wobuffet run off. Rush suddenly let himself out of his PokeBall and said, "Hey, Big Time! You did okay out there, chico!" "Larvit? Vitar?" Big Time asked. "Yeah, you were all that and a bag of chips, vato," Rush said. Attempting to make a gangside with one his paws, he added. "East side!" "You did real good, Big Time," Smasher said. "You should be proud of yourself." Big Time smiled, stopped, then sat down with droopy eyes. "Aw, don't tell me you're *still* depressed," Smasher groaned. "Maybe he's just tired, yo," Rush suggested. "Maybe," Smasher said, recalling the Larvitar into its PokeBall. "You deserve a good rest, anyway." "Where to next, Jeffe?" Rush asked. "West, young 'mon!" Smasher declared, pointing to the West. "To New Bark Town, and the Johto League!" To be continued...! That's right, sports fans! Smasher's back, and he's all outta bubblegum! Ph34r his extremenessity! -- Chet "Tech" Weaver's Revised Basic Sig Desperado Coyote! http://desperadocoyote.keenspace.com "No ride is complete without a clown in an electric chair." -- My brother "Fellow AFDers, mark this date on your calendar. Those with LiveJournals andthe like, put aside your pseudo-angst ridden blogging for 24 hours and instead quote the following: "Today, October 9th, 2002, the art of debate in AFD [news://alt.fan.digimon] has taken a blow to the crotch. Instead of a resultant battle of wits, disagreements are now settled with bad ASCII art." --haruspex, "re: so let me get this straight."