Subject: [PW!] Life is a Sick Joke Date: 23 Sep 2002 06:21:13 GMT From: jsolano199@aol.comlink (Jose L. Solano) Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Trent sat calmly in a tree in the early morning. Ashura wasn't used to trees, so he waited on the ground. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon, and a group of about three Pokémon trainers slept in sleeping bags under the tree, unaware that Trent had followed them. "Shreeww..." "You'll wake them up, Ashura. I already told you this plan will work." "Shrew." "Yeah, you go do that." Trent scratched his head. He hadn't done anything for the last two hours, and now even he was beginning to doubt his plan would work. He looked around to see what he could do to keep himself busy. He saw something move. Quickly, Trent jumped down, intending to hunt. Suddenly, a short, skinny old man jumped out of the bushes, holding a clipboard and wearing a blue cap. "Hello, son. Does the idea of eggdrop soup excite you?" Pokewars!: Trent Retwin "Life is a Sick Joke" Jose L. Solano "Who the HELL are you, and why are you asking that kind of thing?" "I'm doing a survey. Now, what do you like on your eggdrop soup?" "You have until the count of four to leave my sight before I disembowel you. One..." "Is there any specific place where you most enjoy having eggdrop soup?" "Two..." "Do you have eggdrop soup with other people, or alone?" "Three..." "Bye!" The little man disappeared. The sun was rising, and before Trent knew it, the trainers were already on their way. He rushed to catch up with them, but kept his distance. "Hey," one of the trainers said, "Why has that guy been following us since Azalea?" "I dunno. Let's challenge him to a match!" "No." "YES!" "...No." "Okay." The trainers continued on their way. Ashura stopped for a moment to stare down a Weedle. Trent noticed this and waited for him. "What do you think you're doing?" Suddenly, the little old man popped out of the ground. The Weedle was really just a hat. "Excuse me, sir. Does the idea of eggdrop soup excite you?" "I told you to scram." "Just answer my question, sir." Trent answered with a swift knife slash to the little old man's stomach... but nothing happened. "What the-?!" "Sir, does the idea of-" "Shut up! SHUT UP!" Trent slashed the little old man numerous times at different points, but the knife seemed to go right through him. The little old man looked at his clipboard and checked something off. "Now then, sir, what about eggdrop soup do you like best?" "Who are you and why won't you die?!" "What time of day do you prefer eating eggdrop soup?" "Ashura, Earthquake!" The little old man was unaffected. Now Trent was getting scared. He ran away from the little old man, only to run into an even more terrifying image- the same little old man, wearing a comically oversized Trent mask. "AAAAAH! DIE! DIE!! DIE!!" Trent had lost all sense of reason. He stabbed, slashed, hacked and sliced, but nothing happened. Trent collapsed, screaming in frustration. "Gastly, cut that out!" one of the trainers said. "You too, Gengar!" Both little old men became their true Pokémon forms, and returned to their Pokéballs. "Sorry about that, mister." "NOT AS SORRY AS YOU'RE GONNA BE!" Trent rose up to attack, but tripped on a rock. The trainers shrugged, and walked away. It took Trent a few minutes to calm down, stand up, and dust himself off. Preferring not to discuss what had just happened and wisely avoiding any commentary by Ashura, he walked off without saying another word. Ashura shrugged and followed. Don't ask what compelled me to do this. Jose L. Solano ------------------------------- A devious, degenerate defender of the devil ------------------------------- "*click* *click* grraaey *click* *hiss* grryaee ghhass gho grrwyinmzkghghnhl *hiss* krk *click*" -Poggle the Lesser