Subject: [PW!] P-Masta J Date: Fri, 15 Nov 2002 22:33:06 GMT From: Rob <robfrompw@yahoo.com> Organization: AT&T Worldnet Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Robert sits on the ground outside the outpost that connects Azalea Town with the Ilex Forest, staring sadly up towards the afternoon sky. He's bummed out, mainly for three reasons. He misses Rilli, his girlfriend, very much, since he hasn't seen her in person for months and making out with her image on his Pokegear isn't half as fun as making out with her face-to-face. He recently lost a match against Bugsy, the Azalea Town Gym Leader, a rude little kid whose Bug Pokemon freaked him out. He wants to go back to Goldenrod City to catch the Magnet Train back home to Kanto, but he's too frightened of all the Bug Pokemon who live in the dark Ilex Forest and the Bat Pokemon he imagines lives in Union Cave to leave Azalea Town. Robert's released his Pineco to keep him company, and the lazy, immobile Pokemon does what he does best - he sits still. He would like to run away, since Robert has been rambling to him for hours on end, but he's too fat to move. "I still don't how could you live in that scary forest on the other side of this outpost, Pineco! It must've been hard living around all those Paras being a Pure Grass Type Pokemon." Robert pets the hard dark blue bark on the Pokemon who's Type he's confused about, "I mean, if you were half Poison, then Bug Pokemon would avoid you to avoid being exterminated, but you sure don't LOOK Poisonous. You MUST be a pure Grass Type!" Pineco narrows his eyes, one of the few actions he's capable of performing, and declares in his monotone voice, "Co." A white guy wearing a white undershirt, tan baggy pants, and gold-plated white sneakers, overhears Robert on his way to the outpost. He has blond dreadlocks and slick dark blue sunglasses cover his eyes. The young man says, "Yo, bro, that ain't no weed. That be a Buggy P-mon, knowhudimsayin'?" "Actually... no, I DON'T know what you're saying." Robert raises an eyebrow as he looks up to see who's talking to him. The downcast Gym Leader had been sitting in the same spot almost all day contemplating whether to enter the Ilex Forest or not and although some people had given him coins, thinking he was homeless and/or crazy, no one had stopped to talk with him. He squints, the afternoon sunlight in his dark brown eyes, "You look familiar... What's your name?" "I go by P-Masta J. I'm tryin'a be Johto's numba one Pokérap masta." P-Masta J smiles, showing off his teeth, including a gold one that shimmers in the sunlight, "An' what be yo' tag?" "What beyotag?" Robert scratches his head and says, "Sorry, I don't know what beyotag is." P-Masta J smirks, realizing that Robert is not fluent in the dialect he speaks, "I'm askin' fo' yo' name, foo'!" "Ohhhhh! My name's Robert." Robert stands up, recalls Pineco into his Heavy Ball, places the custom Pokeball on his belt, and offers his hand for P-Masta J to shake it. P-Masta J grabs Robert's hand and subjects it to a series of strange motions, involving slaps, cracks, and snaps. Once the overly elaborate handshake is over, Robert gets a better look at the guy who performed it and immediately recognizes the face, "Wait a second - your name's not P-Masta J! You're Jeremy - that mean kid who used to taunt me all the time on my Pokemon Journey through Kanto! I haven't seen you in years! What HAPPENED to you?" P-Masta J leans forward and pats Robert on the back a couple of times before exclaiming, "Word! I KNEW it was you, 'doom!" "Doom?" Robert furrows his brow, wondering if his former rival is on drugs, "I just said my name's ROBERT!" "Yea, but yo' my 'doom now. Short fo' Houndoom, yo." P-Masta J grins and hits his own chest twice while making a fist, then he taps Robert's shoulder with his fist, "It's cuzza you I'm where I'm at now - tha's why yo' my 'doom." Robert narrows one eye, "I don't remember telling you to start talking in a language that's harder to understand than Pokemon languages OR buying you weird new clothing. Unless it happened during those months back in 2000 that I can't remember..." "Don't like my new Johto-fabulous threads?" P-Masta J pulls up his baggy pants to keep them from falling off, "Psssht, you ain't no fashion police. You was wearin' those same threads last time I saw ya and that was like six years ago. I remember the day real good, 'cuz it's when the cops caught me for tryin'a steal yo' Gengar. They put me in the Viridian slammer fo' three years an' my old folks didn't wanna pay the bail to spring me 'cuz they thought I was a menace and they wanneda teach me a lesson. I spent alla those years with a buncha mean Rockets, thinkin' 'bout how much I dissed everyone close to me, even my girl." "So you got put in jail for trying to steal my Pokemon..." Robert strokes his goatee, trying to figure out why P-Masta J would thank him for that, "I don't understand why this suddenly makes me your Houndoom, whatever THAT is." P-Masta J replies, "If you hadn't trusted me 'nuff to trade yo' Ghosty P-mon with me, I would'a neva' got the chance to try an' steal yo' Gengar an' I wouldn't've been put in the big house. I learned a lot in there, an' it was there that I decided to stop bein' an asshole to everyone. Now I jus' take out my aggressions in my rap music, knowhudi'msayin'? Writin' songs 'bout how much I hate my mom an' dad for not springin' me from the slammer or how my ex-girl Bambi cheated on me while I was stuck there keeps me from goin' out an' bustin' caps in their asses." "I... see." Robert slowly backs away from P-Masta J, disturbed by a mental image of the white rapper shoving exploding hats into his parents' pants. Noticing Robert is uncomfortable, P-Masta J changes the subject, "So, what're you doin' here in Johto? Got a crib in Azalea?" "Nope. Actually, Rilli and I haven't gotten married yet, and I believe in being chaste so we haven't had a baby yet." Robert says, answering what he believes P-Masta J's question was, "Two of my Pokemon bred with two of hers, though. My Gengar bred with her Haunter and a baby Gastly was born from an egg. That was pretty weird. Not too long ago, my Raichu bred with her Electabuzz and now Rilli's taking care of the cutest little Pokemon twins - a male Pichu and a female Elekid... but that's beside the point. What were we talking about? Oh yeah - why I'm here. Well, I came here to earn a Badge at the local Gym, but that didn't work out for me. I'd like to go to Goldenrod City now, but I'm scared of the Bug Pokemon in the Ilex Forest." "Yo, I'm headin' to GR too, 'doom! I just dropped by Azalea to get custom P-balls from the K-man." P-Masta J pulls an Ultra Ball out of one of the many pockets on his baggy pants and shows it to Robert, "If you come with, you don't gotsta worry, 'cuz no Buggy P-mon's gonna be buggin' us on this sweet ride." Robert looks down at the Ultra Ball in the palm of the rapper's hand and asks, "You have a Pokemon made out of candy?" "Naw, not that kinda sweet. C'mere, I'll show you what I mean." P-Masta J pulls up his baggy pants once more then walks through the outpost, into the Ilex Forest. Robert reluctantly follows him, not sure if he can truly trust the person who used to make fun of him relentlessly every time they met but curious to see what his ride is. Once they are both standing in a clearing of the dark forest, P-Masta J drops his Ultra Ball, which pops open. A white beam of light shoots out of of the Ultra Ball, spreads out into a large area, then materializes into a Steelix, who looks at P-Masta J and lowers his head. "Wow!" Robert had seen a Steelix before, when he battled Jasmine upon arriving at Johto, but he didn't realize they were so long until now since hers was curled up during the match and P-Masta J's is stretched out. P-Masta J picks up his Ultra Ball, climbs onto his Steelix's head, and asks, "So, you gonna join me or jus' dip, 'doom?" "The last time I trusted Jeremy, I almost had my Gengar stolen..." Robert strokes his goatee while thinking about what to do, "But you're P-Masta J now! I'll give you another chance, uh, Houndoom." Robert is somewhat scared of the Steelix before him since he's intimidated by snakes, especially gigantic ones made of Steel, but he figures riding on the trained Steelix is better than walking amongst the wild Bug Pokemon in the Ilex Forest so he climbs onto the Pokemon's head, joining P-Masta J. The titanic Steel Pokemon slithers through the Ilex Forest at an impressive speed, bobbing and weaving to avoid trees. During the trip to Goldenrod City, P-Masta J asks Robert about what has happened in his life since they last saw each other. Robert goes into detail about how he founded the Diversity Gym in Lavender Town and his current quest to gather all the Johto League Badges as well as catch new Johto Pokemon. By nightfall, the Steelix and the two humans riding on top of his head arrive at the southern edge of Goldenrod City's Main Street. Robert and P-Masta J both hop off the Pokemon. "Thanks, Steelix! Now you can catch some z's in yo' U-ball." P-Masta J points his Ultra Ball at his Steelix. A small beam of red light shoots out of it and hits the Steelix, who converts into red energy and gets pulled back into his resting spot. "I gotsta go to the Radio Tower now. I've been tryin'a get DJ Mary to play some a' my songs, but she keeps tellin' me they're whack for kids listenin' on their P-gears. I wanna see if she's a'ight with me rappin' at night, when the kids are in bed." Robert taps the purple Pokegear on his left wrist and says, "I'll be sure to tune in. Thank you so much for the free ride!" "No prob. Seeya 'round, 'doom!" P-Masta J once again shakes Robert's hand in the ridiculously complex manner he did earlier, then the white rapper heads up Main Street towards the Goldenrod Radio Tower, pulling his baggy pants up as he walks. -Robert