Subject: [PW] [WC] [R2] Perhaps The Joke Has Been Taken Too Far. Misty vs. Yolei! Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2002 17:02:46 -0800 From: "Chet Weaver Roasting On an Open Fire, Jack Frost Nipping At Your Toes..." <nichirasu@hotmail.com> Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon ". And then I take Psyduck back out of storage and it's just like I trained it up a full level!" Yolei explained as she brought Psyduck's PokeBall back out of computer storage. "That's not how it works," Nurse Joy said from her desk. "It's not?" Yolei asked. "But that's what the website." "A Pokemon's actual stats raise progressively as it trains," Nurse Joy explained. "The stats listed in your PokeDex or PokeGear only update when your Pokemon either reaches a new plateau in its training or is put into storage." "Why?" "How should I know? I'm a nurse, not an engineer." "Where exactly do the Pokemon go when you put them into storage like this?" Lynkeru asked. Nurse Joy thought about that for a moment before saying, "I think it depends on the trainer, but by default I think they go to a server farm somewhere." "You grow servants on a farm?" Lynkeru inquired. "Then how come more people don 't have them?" "It's not that kind of server," Yolei replied. "I'll explain it later. Did you find out more about Bob?" "Yeah," Lynkeru said. "I've been watching him all day and had Tetsuo help me do a background check. He's Bob Raiser and he's the son of some Pokemon breeders. He didn't have any water Pokemon on him so he had to rent a Mantine." "He must've caught the second one," Yolei said. "Anything else?" "I wasn't able to find out much more about him," Lynkeru replied. "Except that he's not fully human." "Apparently, he's half Chikorita," Tetsuo added. "But he was born human. A photo in a Goldenrod newspaper shows him at the radio station with other half-Pokemon people, but he's not the only contender who was there." He handed Yolei a printout of the photograph. "Take a look." "Her name's Aerie, isn't it?" Yolei said. "Think they're working together or something?" "I don't know," Tetsuo said. "I wasn't able to find out anything on her. Her profile only contains her name and a photo, and all her Pokemon are rented." "If I were you, I'd worry more about my next opponent." Everyone looked up from the photo to see Misty standing nearby. "You must be Yolei," Misty said. "It's good to meet you." "And you're Misty!" Yolei said. "I remember watching you compete in the Whirl Cup when I was a little girl!" "Are you calling me old!?" Misty exclaimed. "What? No!" Yolei responded. "It wasn't THAT long ago, but I do have to say that you've aged quite gracefully. You don't look a day over forty!" "I'm not over forty years old!" "Did I say forty? My bad. I meant thirty." "HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM!?" "Chill out, lady! I was kidding! Remember your blood pressure!" "You'll be worrying about your own blood pressure when they're washing it off the stadium floor!" "My blood pressure's going to be all over the floor?" Misty just growled in frustration before storming out of the Pokemon Center, muttering something about blood pressure. "That was harsh," Tetsuo said. "Yeah, she was trying to be nice, Yolei," Lynkeru said disapprovingly. "Although it is strategically sound to have your opponent off their game," Yuki said. "But there is no telling what she'll do with that anger." "I know," Yolei admitted. "But not only does she have more experience than me, she specializes in Water-type Pokemon. I need every advantage I can get. I've studied her team and I was able to rent a Chinchou from the Rental Center. If I can beat Misty, I know I'll stand good chance of going all the way." Plus that outfit was making me feel uncomfortable, she added mentally. You'd think she'd be cold in something like that, and who wears shorts with suspenders? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----- "Our next match is Cerulean Gym Leader Misty against the new challenger, Yolei," the announcer said. "Will Misty strike out like her sisters, or will she take down Yolei like she defeated fellow Quagsire trainer Roxie?" "I bow to no Quagsire!" Misty announced. "And I certainly don't lose to pasty-faced nerds!" "What!?" Yolei exclaimed. "Trainers ready?" the referee called out. "Begin!" "Misty chooses Corsola!" Misty shouted, tossing out a PokeBall. It dropped into the water and seconds later, an energetic, pink Corsola emerged. "To beat pink, I'll think Rink!" Yolei yelled. She threw her PokeBall into the air and her Quagsire landed with a splash. "This is the second time Misty's Corsola faced off against a Quagsire in this tournament!" the announcer proclaimed. "While Quagsire does have the type advantage, let's not forget how Corsola won last time." "Corsola, Tackle attack!" Misty ordered. "Rink! Slam attack!" Yolei commanded. Rink and Corsola quickly coasted across the water towards each other. With a sort hop, Corsola Tackled Rink, but the Quagsire struck back with a Slam attack that knocked the coral-like Pokemon onto a nearby platform. "Now Rink!" Yolei shouted. "Get Corsola in a bear hug!" Rink immediately jumped from the water and landed on Corsola's back. He wrapped his fins around Corsola's shoulders and hung on for dear life as it tried to buck him off. "Now use Earthquake!" Yolei triumphantly called out. Wrapping his tail under Corsola for further support, Rink began to use legs and pelvis to repeatedly ram Corsola's backside in an effort to create an Earthquake attack directly on his opponent. The effect was quite stunning. Not only was it a very effective use of Earthquake, it was also shocking enough that more sensitive spectators turned away in disgust and covered the eyes of their young children. A more amorous pair decided now was good time to find a broom closet. Corsola's cries did nothing to alleviate the situation. "What the heck is it doing?" Lynkeru said. "Well, when a Quagsire and a Corsola love each other very much." Indi, Lynkeru's fairy, began. "This is it, folks," the announcer said dryly. "This is the end of Pokemon battling." "Wow, that was SO not what I thought it'd look like," Yolei said with a nervous chuckle. "I mean I knew it would rock its world, but this is ridiculous." Misty groaned in disgust. "I bet they got a bang out of that move, eh?" Yolei said. "You could say this is the climax of the match! If this keeps up, this match'll be a quickie!" "Shut up!" Misty shouted. "Your jokes are terrible!" "I wouldn't think someone dressed like that would be such a prude!" Yolei shouted back. "I just hope you don't feel like you're being screwed in this match after your Corsola got such a spanking!" "Corsola! Spike Cannon!" Misty said, trying to ignore her opponent's comments. "Corsola-a-a-a-a-a-a...." her Corsola commented, apparently having better things to pay attention to. "Corsola! I said Spike Cannon!" Misty reiterated, now more miffed than before. "Corsola!" Corsola responded, snapping to its senses. It immediately began to glow and shot spikes at point-blank range directly into Rink's midsection. He held on for as long as possible, but Rink was eventually thrown from Corsola's back and onto another platform. "Quag..." Rink uttered as he tried to stand back up, but ultimately gave up. "Sire." "Quagsire has been defeated!" the announcer proclaimed. "This round goes to Corsola!" "And you're one to make comments about how I look!" Misty said. "When was the last time you got some sunlight?" "Excuse me!?" Yolei exclaimed. "Your skin is so pale, I thought it was make up!" Misty clarified. "Or is that just from the shock of your Quagsire getting trounced by my Corsola? By the way, your next Pokemon better be a good one. This little cutie's taken me farther than this before!" "I bet," Yolei muttered as she recalled Rink. "Go, Chinch... Oh no!" Retrieving Chinchou's PokeBall, Yolei accidently dropped one of her other ones. In a flash of light, a Psyduck appeared in the water and struggled to remain afloat. "Yolei has chosen Psyduck!" the announcer narrated. "No, wait!" Yolei said. "I didn't mean to choose him! It was an accident!" "Sorry," the referee said. "The rules state that you can't recall your Pokemon without conceding." "Oh, man!" Misty laughed as a half-drowned Psyduck pulled itself onto Corsola's platform. "I can't believe it! Your Psyduck's worse than mine ever was!" "We'll see about that!" Yolei roared. "Psyduck! Scratch!" Yolei's Psyduck poked Corsola really hard, probably hurting himself more than his opponent. Nevertheless, the Corsola immediately fainted. "A light tap decided the outcome!" the announcer shouted. "Yolei's Psyduck is triumphant!" "What!?" Misty exclaimed. She growled as she recalled her Pokemon. "Your Psyduck's just lucky that Corsola took so much damage from that Earthquake! Otherwise, I could've made a clean sweep!" "Bring it on, grandma!" Yolei taunted. "I ain't afraid of some old lady's pet Pokemon!" "I'll show you pet Pokemon!" Misty shouted as she wound up to throw another PokeBall, fully intending to hit Yolei in the face with it. "Go, Su..." No sooner had Misty said "Go" when a flash of light came from her backpack. Soon another Psyduck was floundering in the water. "PSYDUCK!?" Misty exclaimed. "What are you doing out here!?" "Misty has chosen to use a Psyduck as well!" the announcer stated. "Will this be an exciting duel between two similar Pokemon, or will it just be a pathetic and embarrassing spectacle worthy of the Psyduck name?" Now it was Yolei's turn to laugh. "Aw, man! I'd hate to be in your shoes!" She laughed until both Psyducks were standing on the same platform. "Aw, smeg! I am in her shoes!" "Well, we're stuck with them now," Misty said resignedly. "Fortunately, I was prepared for such a mess up! Psyduck, Headbutt!" "Psy." Misty's Psyduck rammed its head into Yolei's Psyduck's head, resulting in a hollow, bonking sound. Both Psyducks reeled from the impact and landed on their butts. "Psyduck, Scratch!" Yolei shouted. "How does knowing Headbutt make your Psyduck prepared for this?" The two Psyducks got back on their feet. With a cry of "Duck," Yolei's raked his claws through his opponent's feathers. "Don't you know that a Psyduck's headache makes its Psychic attacks more powerful?" Misty chided. "And here I thought you computer geeks knew everything! Psyduck, Headbutt!" "Psy." The two Psyduck's heads collided yet again. "That's an old wive's tale!" Yolei commented. "Scratch!" "Duck." Yolei's Psyduck took another swipe at Misty's. "Well it's true," Misty said. "I've seen it happen! If you got out every once in a while instead of staring at a computer screen all day, you would too! Headbutt!" "Psy." *Bonk* "As if," Yolei said. "Your mind was just playing tricks on you, you old crone! Scratch!" "Duck." *Swipe* "At least I still have my looks, you four-eyed geek! Headbutt!" "Psy." *Bonk* "At least I can see my clothes before I put them on! Scratch!" "Duck." *Swipe* "You wanna talk about *my* clothes? What are you supposed to be, a whirling dervish?" "Psy." *Bonk* "The ladies at the Red Light District called! They want their fashion sense back!" "Duck." *Swipe* "A Shuckle just called! It wants its muscles back!" "Psy." *Bonk* "Methuselah called! He wants his old age back!" "Duck." *Swipe* "Do you kiss your boyfriend with that mouth? Oh, that's right! You don't have one! That's because you're such a nerd!" "Psy." *Bonk* "Don't criticize my sexual behavior, you pedophile!" "Duck." *Swipe* "The trainers are exchanging barbs while their Pokemon exchange blows!" the announcer recapped for those watching at home who just tuned in. "That's it!" Misty declared, pointing a dramatic finger at her opponent. "It's time to end this!" "I agree!" Yolei concurred, immiating her opponent dramatically. "Psyduck, Confusion!" they commanded simultaneously in a dramatic fashion. "Psyyyyyy...." Misty's Psyduck muttered as its eyes began to glow blue and a shimmering red aura appeared around it. "Duuuuuuck...." Yolei's Psyduck muttered as his eyes began to glow red and a shimmering blue aura appeared around him. "The Psyducks are focusing their psychic energies," the announcer said as if he were the only one who understood this. "PSYDUUUUUCK!" the Psyducks yelled as they were suddenly flung away from each other and into opposing sides of the court. With the auras still flaring, the two psychic waterfowl flew about the stadium, ramming into various objects. "They're careening around the stadium like a couple of pinballs!" the announcer exclaimed! "I suppose it's only fair to point out," Yolei said as she ducked an incoming Psyduck, "That my Psyduck knew Headbutt, too." "What!?" Misty exclaimed, ducking the other Psyduck as it flew by. "Then why didn't you use it like I did?" "Because you had already started using it," Yolei explained. "While the Headbutt attack hurt both their heads, it hurt my Psyduck's head even more since it was being attack. And thanks to my cleverly distracting you with insults, you didn't even think about hitting my Psyduck anywhere else, like the chest or stomach. My Psyduck's psychic attacking ability actually rose *faster* than your Psyduck's did!" "You think your clever," Misty said. "But it's still anyone's game! It's a question of endurance now, and who can stand watching their Psyduck getting pummeled the most!" "Misty's right," Yuki said. "With the amount of psychic power those two Psyduck's are putting out, they could kill each other long before the Confusion attack's effect ends!" "PSYYYYYYYYY!!" Misty's Psyduck yelled as it flew across the arena. "DUUUUUUUCK!!" Yolei's Psyduck yelled/warned as he flew across the arena. The two Psyducks finally collided with each other in the center of the arena and crash-landed on the central platform. "Or not," Yuki admitted. "Both Psyducks are out cold!" the announcer announced. "But wait! One of them is coming too!" "Psy-yi-yi," the Psyduck commented as it sat up and rubbed its head. "But who's Psyduck is it?" the announcer asked. "The two look so similar, it's hard to tell them apart!" Yolei realized the announcer was right. Having rented her Psyduck, she couldn't tell if the Psyduck was hers or Misty's. How will the figure out who won? "Yeah!" Misty cheered suddenly. "I won!" "Yeah, right!" Yolei denied. "You're just trying to trick me into conceding because you don't think I know which Psyduck is which!" "Oh, yeah?" Misty questioned. "Why don't you recall your Psyduck and prove me wrong!" "Why don't *you* recall *your* Psyduck and prove *me* wrong?" Yolei challenged. "No, you!" "No, you!" "No you!" "No you!" "No you!" "No you!" "No you!" "No you!" "No you!" "No you!" "Silence!" the referee shouted. After getting everyone's attention he continued, "Since neither trainer is willing to recall their Pokemon to prove who won, it falls upon me, the referee, to determine who won." He held up a PokeGear. "Every Pokemon being used in this tournament has been registered in the Whirl Cup's database. Each entry includes a number of identifiers that can be used to identify that Pokemon should just a situation like would happen. Ladies and gentlemen, in a matter of moments we will know who won this match!" "The referee is going to find out for himself just which Psyduck won!" the announcer summarized. With that, the referee released a Blastoise and rode it to the central platform. Once there, he began a lengthy process of examining both Psyducks. After a while he stood tall to make his announcement. "After thoroughly examining each of the Psyducks, it looks like the referee is ready to make an announcement!" the announcer said for the sake of those who left their seats to get snacks. "Ladies and gentlemen," the referee said. "After examining both of these Psyducks, I can now reveal to you the winner of this match. And she is..." "The referee is announcing the winner!" the announcer interrupted. "Do you mind!?" the referee shouted up to the announcer. "You could at least wait until after I said who won!" "Oh, uh, sorry," the announcer apologized. "Anyway, my decision is," the referee said, slowly raising the hand nearest Misty, "After careful and thorough examination both Psyducks to make sure who is who so we can tell who won this match... Misty..." Everyone held their breath in anticipation of the conclusion of the referee's statement. To be continued... RIGHT NOW! "Misty's Psyduck has been defeated!" the referee declared. Whirling around to point his raised hand at Yolei he added, "That makes Yolei the winner!" "Yes!" Yolei cheered, leaping for joy. "She won!" Lynkeru exclaimed. "Took them long enough," Indi commented. "Way to go!" Tetsuo cheered. "Good job, Yolei," Yuki said. "Victory pose time!" Yolei announced. She twirled around in a big circle a couple times before facing the nearest camera and making a victory sign with one hand. "Yeah! I've got victory!" Yolei's Psyduck attempted to immitate his temporary trainer, but just wound up falling over. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------- "You were great out there, Yolei," Tetsuo said in the stadium lobby. "Thanks, Tetsuo," Yolei accepted cheerfully. Noticing Misty and her sisters heading for the exit, she said, "Wait here. I need to talk to someone. Hey, Misty!" Misty and her sisters stopped and turned to see Yolei running up to them. "What do you want?" Misty asked coldly. "I just wanted to say," Yolei paused awkwardly to try and find the right wording. "... I'm sorry." "Huh?" "I apologize for calling you old and stuff. I didn't mean any of it, and I realized how much they must've hurt after you started insulting me. If anything, you're probably the most attractive female trainer I've ever seen." "Well, thank you. I'm really flattered." "Seriously. If I were a guy, I'd totally be all over you. Oh, and speaking of which, I'm really, REALLY sorry about what my Quagsire did to your Corsola." "Hey, no problem. You were just doing what you thought you had to do to win." "Cool. Hey, maybe I can call you later and we can get together sometime." "We could, but I'm not into girls. See ya." Misty and her sisters walked away laughing. Yolei was laughing too before she realized something. "Hey!" she shouted. "Just what is THAT supposed to mean!?" To be continued...? Well, it looks like Yolei has won the second round and learned a little lesson about hurting other people's feelings. Or not. Just what lessons await her in round three? Only time will tell.