Subject: [PW!] Solano Reaches a New Low Date: 28 Jul 2002 05:43:40 GMT From: jsolano199@aol.comlink (Jose L. Solano) Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon VSU-0003, aka Ashura, sat in an office with several grieving humans. Kurt was with him, but not Warren... nobody trusted his short attention span. A lawyer had a document in his hands, a will obviously. "To my faithful Meowth, Kitty-Kat, I leave my entire fortune." "Awesome," Ashura said. The others gave him an evil look. "What's going on?" Kurt asked. "Some senile old man thought I was his cat, so he left me a ton of money." "Really?" "Yeah, really." "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." "Well, my plan actually WORKED, so shut your hole." "My plan would've worked, too! It just takes a little longer!" Elsewhere, on a street corner, Warren was poorly disguised as a human woman. A limo pulled up to him, and he got in. Pokewars!: Trent Retwin "Solano Reaches a New Low" Jose L. Solano In a genetics lab on Cinnibar Island, Ashura anxiously awaited his treatment. With the money he recieved from his dearly departed... old guy, he was finally able to afford new parts. Dr. Jack met with him to discuss his operation. "Alright Mr.... 3?" "Yes." "Mr. 3, you've signed up for... what the-?! You're a Sandslash. A cyborg Sandslash." "Yeah." "Okay, so you've signed up for... full body replacement." "No, partial body replacement." "I see... anyway, the tests given to me by my associates," Dr. Jack looks at some diagrams and X-Rays, having only now opened his folder, "Show you've got an implant in your head that can't be removed or replaced." "What?" "It seems it's rooted into your brain. What we can do is surgically remove what we can and build over it to make you appear normal, but that little bit's still going to be left in your brain." "Wait, wait... so I'll look normal, but I'll still have this fucking CPU thing here?" "Er, if that's what it is, yes." "Fuck." "Fuck indeed, Mr. 3. The rest of your parts can be replaced without any real problems... though, you'll have to be in here for a while, until everything can be settle properly." "Okay... how much will this be?" Dr. Jack grinned violently, startling Ashura, and looked through his folder. "Ah... quite a lot." "Quite a lot?" "Yes. Quite a lot." "I'm not sure I can afford that... what else can you give me doc?" "I can give you an alternative treatment for $500." "Wow, really? What is it?" Quickly, Dr. Jack took a bottle from his coat and broke it over Ashura's head. Ashura rolled off his seat and fell face-down on the floor. Dr. Jack whistled as he left the room and closed the door behind him. ----------------------------- Ashura woke up a few hours later. He was dizzy, and his entire body felt numb. He managed to sit up, but something felt wrong... he couldn't see well, so looking at himself didn't help. After a few minutes, he was able to stand up... he felt a little unbalanced, as he felt a lot lighter. He yawned, and scratched his quill... "Saaaaaaand?!" Ashura no longer had quills. His back was rough, like sandpaper. This startling discovery had blinded him to the fact that he no longer had that strange robo-translation faceplate thing attached. "Sand... sand... shrew?" Now it hit him. Ashura had suffered a fate worse than death. Dr. Jack walked in, with yet another violent grin on his face. "Ah, I see you are all better now, Mr. 3." "Shrew! SHREW!!" "Yes, Mr. 3. Shrew. As you've probably realized, that bottle had a devolution potion inside. It's quite expensive, at $500." "Sandshrew! SANDSHREW!" Ashura began to jump up and down. Dr. Jack picked up part of Ashura's former faceplate- it seemed most of his metal parts were all over the floor- and placed it next to the tiny Sandshrew. "YOU FUCKING QUACK I'LL FUCKING RIP YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING ASS SO FUCKING FAR THAT YOU'LL-" Dr. Jack took the faceplate-translator thingy and set it on the counter. "Settle down, Mr. 3. Look on the bright side." "Shrew?! SANDSHREW?!?!" "You're not a cyborg... thing anymore. Just a bit of work, and you'll be a Sandslash again." Dr. Jack handed Ashura the bill and a pen. "Shrew... sand." Ashura reluctantly clicked the pen and began to sign. The title is in full effect here. This may be the cheapest plot twist ever pulled in PW!, and for this I demand consideration for a Cheapest Plot Twist award in the next PW! Awards. (Yes, violent grin) Jose L. Solano ------------------------------- A devious, degenerate defender of the devil