Subject: [PW!] [WC] [R1] Squids Can Be So 'Cruel Date: 4 Dec 2002 18:15:33 -0800 From: bandraptor@yahoo.com (Bandraptor) Organization: http://groups.google.com/ Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Blizzard the Persian is sitting in the Scarlet City Coliseum, just beyond the outskirts of the battlefield. She is accompanied by her posse of Sting and Avalanche, and the three of them are watching as Mamoru, a boy who's taking great care to avoid the splashing water from the field, battles with Lorelei, an older trainer who sports a pony tail and glasses. "Persian," Blizzard murmurs in admiration, "<such passion.>" She addresses her companions, "<Clearly these trainers can only be fighting with one thing in mind.>" "<Let me guess,>" Sting sighs, "<a Jigglypuff?>" Blizzard gives him a funny look. "<Don't be ridiculous. They are battling for the Mystic Water pendant that the leather-clad miscreant mentioned before being eliminated in the first round of competition.>" Blizzard continues, "<It is a prize that I intend to win.>" "<What the> cool <for?> Sting demands, "<It's not like you know any Water moves.>" Blizzard replies, "<No, but I believe that it will be an ideal compliment to the sapphire on my forehead.>" She closes her eyes, envisioning what she would look like with a Mystic Water pendant hanging around her neck. "<Plus, it would look good with the Metal Coat that I won a while back...>" "Tentacool." Sting rolls his eyes, "<Fine. Whatever. Have fun fighting.>" "Shan." Blizzard does not know that the Whirl Cup competition is limited exclusively to Water-type Pokemon, but she does know that she has no intention of entering the arena herself. "<I do not care for water,>" she says, grimacing visibly at the thought of getting wet. "<Avalanche, will you handle this battle?>" "Graaan." Avalanche looks out at the pool, and taps his fingers together ashamedly as he explains, "<Water makes me......ummmm.............dead...>" "Purrr," Blizzard says thoughtfully, "<In that case, we are left with little recourse.>" She and Avalanche both turn their heads towards Sting. Sting cocks an eye at the pair, "<Look away *now*, or I> tent <you over like> cooltas." * * * "What a battle!" The Whirl Cup announcer exclaims, as Mamoru and Lorelei exit the arena. He replays a few of the key highlights from the battle over the Jumbotron, as workers prepare the field for the next set of trainers. When everything is ready, he readjusts his microphone and states, "This next battle is going to be between Marina, whom we've seen here in years prior, and a newcomer named Persian!" He watches as the combatants enter the arena, then corrects himself, "Wait, it seems that the opposing trainer actually *is* a Persian!" A soft murmur goes up from the crowd. Marina, a blue haired girl from the Orange Islands, doesn't murmur under her breath when she catches sight of the ivory feline. Instead, she yells. "Wow, a Persian! Oh, you are so cute!" Then she looks at Avalanche, who's walking beside Blizzard, "Oh, and a Tyranitar! You're even cuter!" Finally she notices Sting, who's being dragged, spread eagled into the arena--one tentacle held in Blizzard's mouth, the other in Avalanche's. Marina's eyes become full of stars, and she clasps her hands in front of her face as she gushes, "Wow, a Tentacool! You're the cutest one of all!" She giggles, "I just love Tentacools! I love their cute little eyes, and their cute little arms, and the cute little jewels on their heads! Most of all, I love the way that they squish when you hug them!" She frowns briefly, wishing that her opponent was a fellow Water Pokemon Trainer, and not a Persian, so they could prate about Water Pokemon together. Marina shrugs off her bad feelings, and she pulls a Pokeball from her belt as continues her one-sided conversation, "Well, your Tentacool may be cute, but I've got something that's even better!" Marina strikes a dramatic pose as she throws the ball into the arena, "Go, Tentacruel!" Sting's eyes widen a bit as he catches sight of his intimidating evolved form, "Tent<ing> COOL <am I fighting that> tenta!" He squirms to escape his captors' grasp. Ignoring Sting's protestations, Blizzard and Avalanche swing him back and forth a couple of times to gain momentum, then hurl him into the pool. Sting sinks to the bottom, and resurfaces a few seconds later, sputtering, and flailing about in a rage, "Tent <you mother <tenta>s! When I get outta here you're> ta<king dead! Ya hear me? Dead!>" "<Good luck, Sting!>" Blizzard calls cheerfully. Avalanche nods to concur, and flashes Sting a thumbs up sign, but not without a cynical little smirk. "The combatants have released their Pokemon!" The announcer shouts, giving a play-by-play. "Marina is using her Tentacruel, while Persian is using a Tentacool! Participation in past Whirl Cups has proven Tentacruel to be a powerful contender, but what of Persian's Tentacool? Persian must have some tricks up its proverbial sleeve if it's sending an unevolved Pokemon into battle!" "All right, Tentacruel!" Marina orders, becoming a bit more serious as the battle gets underway. "Let's get things started! Use Icy Wind!" Marina's Tentacruel spreads it tentacles out all across the surface of the pool, then begins to spin around on its axis, churning the water, and simultaneously exhaling breaths of frigid vapor, which transform the churning water into a slurry of ice. As the water continues to freeze, Tentacruel's spinning grows progressively faster, until the centrifugal force causes the slurry to rise into a column around it. BAM! With a noise like a gunshot, the column explodes, sending shards of ice flying into Sting, Blizzard, Avalanche, and the protective fiberglass barriers that surround the battlefield on all sides. "A powerful attack from the start!" The announcer cries, "Tentacool's taken the brunt of this technique, but it looks like Persian's been dazed too! This sudden lack of trainer direction is sure to slow Tentacool down! Could this be it folks? Is the battle over already?" "Cool!" Sting yelps, reeling from the force of the attack. "Don't let up!" Marina shouts, "Tentacruel, hit Tentacool with Sludge Bomb!" Tentacruel rears up on the posterior forty of its eighty tentacles, and fires a big ball of sticky black sludge from its ink sac. Sting finishes shaking off the effects of the Icy Wind attack, and looks over at his opponent just in time for the Sludge Bomb to hit him in the face! The force of the impact sends him sailing down into the hard cement floor of the pool. "Cool! Sting bounces off the floor, and slowly floats up to the surface, his tentacles drifting limply behind him. "Now!" Marina, like the announcer, is sure that if Blizzard is using an unevolved Pokemon to compete in a major tournament, then it must be a very powerful Pokemon indeed--and she's not going to let it stick around long enough to hit her with any of its fancy techniques. She orders her Tentacruel quickly, "As soon as it surfaces, grab it with a Wrap attack!" Tentacruel spreads its tentacles out once again, knowing that its opponent is doomed to become entangled in them the instant he attempts any kind of counterattack. "Persian!" Blizzard calls out towards the water, "<Sting are you all right?>" Sting groans, "Coool." "<Do not give up Sting!>" Blizzard coaxes, "<Defeat that Tentacruel, Sting, and you will be earning a victory for wild Pokemon everywhere! Do it, Sting, for the glory of the Brotherhood!>" "Tent <the Brotherhood!>" Sting yells suddenly. "<I'm not fighting for the> cool<ing Brotherhood!>" Blizzard blinks, "Purr?" Sting scowls, infuriated by Blizzard's insinuation that he is fighting for a cause. "<It's not my style, and anyway, that Brotherhood shtick's just some> tent <we came up with to get money offa brainless> cooltas!" He leers at Blizzard, "<Don't tell me you're starting to believe your own hype...>" "<Well,>" Blizzard says thoughtfully, "<If you will not fight for the glory of the Brotherhood, then you should do this for me! Win this tournament so that I may receive my pendant!>" Sting narrows his eyes, "<Do I look like I'm gonna do you any> cool<ing favors?>" He swims over to Blizzard so he can yell at her some more, "Tentacool <doesn't fight for any> coolta tent <that asks him to.> Tentacool <only works for one> Tentacool, <and that's> Tentacool!" Marina and her Tentacruel both look surprised, since Sting is moving away from the tentacle net, and not into it, as they'd expected. Marina fears that Sting might be charging up for a Hyper Beam, or some other long-range attack, and decides that she'd better do something to stop him--and fast. "Tentacruel, use Supersonic!" Tentacruel emits a high-pitched noise from its beak--but Sting isn't listening, so he doesn't get confused! "Tent <you Blizzard, and> tent <this whole> coolta <trip. I never wanted to leave> cool<ing Goldenrod, but you bought into that> cool <Blastoise's> tenta <like a> cooltent, and dragged us out to this> tenta <rock. If anyone should be gettin' their> tent <raped out here it's you,> tent!" When Sting makes no move to counter after the failed Supersonic attack, Marina's Tentacruel figures that he's just trying to stall the match. Annoyed by Sting's cowardly tactic, the Tentacruel readies another Sludge Bomb attack, swims over to him, and taps him on the head with a tentacle, wanting Sting to turn around so he can see its face as it defeats him. "Cruelll." Sting snarls, furious at the interruption. "Tent <off> cool!" He snaps, slapping the Tentacruel away. WAM! Tentacruel flies out of the arena, and into the stands! There is an enormous crash followed by a stunned silence on the part of everyone assembled, including Sting. The crowd recovers quickly though, and cheers wildly in response to what they think is an incredible upset victory! Sting, encouraged by the audience's approval, snaps out of his shock, and uses his two tentacles to flash an obscene gesture in the fainted Tentacruel's direction. "Unbelievable!" The announcer screams, "Persian's Tentacool has come from behind to defeat Tentacruel with a single hit! Incredible! Let's see that again on the Jumbotron!" Blizzard watches Sting as he swims around the pool, his two tentacles raised high in the air. She turns to Avalanche, and sweatdrops, "<All of that Cursing must have raised Sting's Attack power.>" Avalanche responds, "<Lucky break.>" Sting rounds the pool a couple of times, so everyone in the arena can get a good look at him, then turns over on his back, and swims idly past Marina, "<If I was you right now, I'd be> cool<ing pissed.>" TBC... --Beth