Subject: [PW!] The Performance of a Lifetime Date: Fri, 23 Aug 2002 15:24:29 GMT From: "Amber Foxwing" <foxfire@c0x.net> Reply-To: "Amber Foxwing" <silverborne22@hotmail.com> Organization: Cox Communications Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon (OOC: Songs available at http://www.vilbrandt.net/ryan/songs.html Songs are listed in chronological order. Lyrics in story. Popcorn not included.) (OOC: A few more disclaimers. I've separated the parts of the story that contain lyrics from those that...uh...don't. In the ones that have lyrics, brackets signify action, parentheses backup singing, and all else is Jason. I hope. Also, the actions are just to try and give you a vague visual picture of what is going on. To really appreciate the story, you need to listen to the songs as they come up. That's why I put all that effort into making them available for you. Um, I think that's it.) "Wow," Jason remarked to himself, peeking out from behind the curtain, "That's a freakin' huge crowd." DJ looked out from under his arm, and then returned to cleaning the stage. "I'll bet you that most of them are previous fans. You've been gone for a long time. Weird Al makes albums more often than you do concerts, you know." Jason let the curtain fall back into place. He pulled down his eyelid and stuck out his tongue at his Chansey. "Well, thanks for the moral support, you regular ray of sunshine you know." He shifted his attention to the empty stage behind him. The wooden platform was shielded on the front and the sides by tall, thick curtains. The back was decorated with a mesh of metal and plastic, giving the stage a cutting edge, half finished look. Beyond the tangle of wires and rebar, the empty parking lot echoed the sounds of the anxious crowd to the front, and the late night traffic far behind them. Jason sighed and watched the concert in his mind's eye. It would be spectacular. Once the instruments got there, that is. "Where is Gigawatt?" Jason wondered irritably. "Once he gets here, we need to set up the instruments. Then, we need to connect the sound system..." He listened to the buzz of the crowd outside. "Sounds like we'll have to put off the sound check or warm ups and leave it all up to the grace of Goddish." DJ looked thoroughly disconcerted after this suggestion was made. Jason tried to reconcile. "I'm not any happier about it than you are. But any second we spend rehearsing instead of performing could mean a lost audience as well." Rivet called Jason over from off stage. He approached the Charmeleon, seated on a folding chair out in the parking lot. Offstage, the curtains still concealed them from the audience. "I wouldn't get your panties in a bunch about all that, kid," he said, strumming idly on an acoustic guitar. "The station's instruments aren't too bad. And I'm getting some interesting sounds out of this puppy that they loaned me." The strings rattled against the soundboard as he strummed them. Rivet cringed slightly. "Course, most of the interesting sounds are either 'twang!' or 'rattle!' But still..." He vamped on the guitar a bit, nodding his head in time. "...I guess you can't have your cake and 'pick' it too." He clicked his claws together. "My gawd, that joke was so lamo, it didn't even make any sense." Rivet grinned over at Ella and waved coyly at her. She made a face and put her hand up to her ear and continued singing softly. "Crazy gal." Rivet shook his head. "You're quiet tonight, bud. Thought you'd be psyched as usual to be doing a concert again." Jason's eyes unglazed and he looked down at his pokémon. "Huh? Yeah, I dunno. It seems a bit weird now. I guess in the back of my mind, I never really expected to do a concert again. I can't believe it, but I think I've got butterflies in my stomach." Jason rubbed his stomach and gave Rivet a half-hearted smile. Even in the pale moonlight, Rivet noticed Jason looked a bit pale. "Remember what you always say to me, kid," he replied, jabbing Jason lightly in the stomach with the head of his guitar, "Those butterflies can stay in your stomach, but don't let 'em into your voice." Jason grinned and locked hand in claw with Rivet. "I say that? I need to remember to be less cheesy." "Heh, less cheezy." A voice slurred from near Jason's leg. He looked down and saw a drunken Miami leaning against him. The Marowak had a drumstick clutched in one hand and a bottle in the other. He trained unfocused eyes on Rivet. "When'd you lhern Double Team, Ribbit?" Jason snickered and Rivet just grinned toothily. "Dude, you are so wasted." He jabbed the head of his guitar towards Miami the same way he did to Jason a moment earlier. The Marowak blinked slowly and urped. His arm automatically deflected the guitar with the drumstick. Rivet tried again with the same result. He laughed. "A smooth drunk. That is so tight." He continued amusing himself by trying to touch Miami with his guitar. Miami deflected each of his shots and, eventually, gave him a smart rap across both his kneecaps. "Shtop it," he slurred, "It'sh making mah head hurt." While this was happening, Jason had walked back to stand with DJ. He stuck his hands in his pockets to try and keep them warm. "I wouldn't describe Miami as a 'smooth drunk'" DJ observed candidly. Jason shrugged. "Nah, but he's the first pokémon I've seen where alcohol improves his reflexes." He blinked a few times, thinking. "Maybe we could find a better way to get him ready to perform." "There was that one time where he tried using LSD..." Jason grinned and shuddered at the same time. "Yeah, that was bizarre. Still, we got an awesome drum solo when he thought the drum set was covered in bugs. Replacing a whole drum set was no fun, though." "So, the only one of the band still unaccounted for is..." DJ looked at Jason expectantly. "Wolfgang?" Jason pointed past Rivet and Miami, who had engaged in a poke fight. "He's right over there." The Machamp had his eyes closed, listening intently to the music coming out of his headphones. His top set of arms mimicked the motions of a conductor, and his lower set played an invisible piano. Jason turned and climbed the stairs back up to the stage. He looked through the curtain again. The metal bleachers were packed to capacity. Quite a few people looked a bit irritated having to wait so long. Some were packing up to leave. DJ peeked under Jason's arm again. "I hope Gigawatt gets here soon." DJ expected his owner to add a comment, but heard nothing. He looked up and saw Jason gazing intently at someone in the crowd. DJ followed his line of sight and saw their friends sitting all together, third row from the front, dead center. They all looked bored, and at least a bit nervous about why the show was starting late. "You know," DJ looked back up to his trainer. There was something in Jason's eyes. A secret knowledge. A certainty. Wisdom and calm came from his smile. DJ involuntarily sucked in his breath, waiting for him to finish the sentence. Jason smiled to himself, his eyes crinkling at the edges. He looked back out to the audience, at someone in particular. "Amber can't really remember," he continued, "The first time I told her I loved her." He let the curtain fall back into place again and stood quietly, staring at the velvety fabric. DJ began to reply, but stopped when he heard a deep, electronic beeping offstage. Gigawatt had finally arrived. ********************************************** Jason's friends waited expectantly in their seats. Most were slouched down, fighting off sleep. Kitsu yawned. "If I'd known it would take this long, I would've brought a pillow," she said, leaning against her brother's broad arm. Mimic, in his default human form, blinked slowly. "Jason not most punctual man Mimic know." Whether this was in his defense or in agreement was left undecided. Vixxen leaned over and poked Amber in the side. She pointed two rows in front of her. "Who are those people in the front row?" Amber sat up in her chair and craned her neck to get a better look. "You mean those scantily clad girls?" She frowned when she realized what she was seeing. Teenage, scantily clad girls. GIGGLING, teenage, scantily clad girls. Solo leaned across Vixxen to speak to Amber. "I heard Jason talk about PR seating. Methinks they be a 'distraction'." "You mean 'attraction'." Vixxen intoned. Amber nodded and the lights that were focused on the curtains went out. ______________________________________________ [As the curtains open, a spotlight focuses on Ella in the front right of the stage, playing a trumpet. One also appears on Miami in the back left of the stage, beating on a bass drum. The beat drops and the stage lights flash on, revealing Rivet plucking a guitar in the front left and Wolfgang playing his synthesizer in the back left. Jason strides onto the stage, holding a mike to his mouth in one hand, and waving the other hand above his head to the beat. He reaches the center of the stage and continues to keep the beat by pumping his fist.] Pack it up, pack it in Let me begin I came to win Battle me that's a sin I won't tear the sack up Punk you'd better back up Try and play the role and the whole crew will act up Get up, stand up, come on! [Here, Jason waves his hands, motioning the crowd to get on their feet.] Come on, throw your hands up If you've got the feeling jump across the ceiling Muggs is a funk fest, someone's talking junk Yo, I'll bust em in the eye And then I'll take the punks home Feel it, funk it Amps it are junking And I got more rhymes than there's cops that are dunking Donuts shop Sure 'nuff I got props from the kids on the Hill Plus my mom and my pops Chorus I came to get down, I came to get down So get out your seats and jump around Jump around, Jump around [Rivet joins Jason in the chorus] Jump around Jump up Jump up and get down. Jump (18x) [Rivet and Jason, still singing together, begin jumping together to the beat.] I'll serve your ass like John MacEnroe If your steps up, I'm smacking the ho Word to your moms I came to drop bombs I got more rhymes than the bible's got psalms And just like the Prodigal Son I've returned Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned Cause I got lyrics and you ain't got none So if you come to battle bring a shotgun But if you do you're a fool, cause I duel to the death Try and step to me you'll take your last breath I gots the skill, come get your fill Cause when I shoot ta give, I shoot to kill Chorus I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top I never eat a pig cause a pig is a cop Or better yet a terminator Like Arnold Schwarzenegger Try'n to play me out like as if my name was Sega But I ain't going out like no punk bitch Get used to one style and you know I might switch It up up and around, then buck buck you down Put out your head then you wake up in the Dawn of the Dead I'm coming to get ya, coming to get ya Spitting out lyrics homie I'll wet ya Chorus Jump (32x) [After the last jump, Jason addresses the crowd.] ______________________________________________ "Hello, Goldenrod!" A cheer is raised from the crowd. "I'm Jason Bard, and this is my pokémon band!" Each band member takes a separate bow. Jason puts a hand in his pocket and looks out at the crowd casually. "I've been away for a while, traveling around this continent, and I have o say the Johto is beautiful, but Goldenrod is the most impressive town I've been to." A few people awwwed, and a quite a lot gagged. ______________________________________________ [Miami plays an interesting beat on his drums and Jason continues as the music starts. "And I've been around to quite a few places just recently," he says. Rivet plays a short riff on his guitar, repeating it every few seconds.] (Spoken:) "You know I was talking to my friend Desdemona the other day, she runs this space station and bake shop down near Boomtown. She told me that human beings are flawed individuals. The cosmic bakers took us out of the oven a little too early. And that's the reason we're as crazy as we are and I believe it." "Take for example when you go to the movies these days, you know. They try to sell you this jumbo drink, 8 extra ounces of watered down cherry coke for an extra 25 cents. I don't want it. I don't want that much organization in my life. I don't want other people thinking for me. I want my Junior Mints. Where did the Junior Mints go in the movies. I don't want a 12 lb. Nestlé's crunch for 25 dollars. I want Junior Mints." "We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers! We need people that care! I'm mad as hell! And I don't want to take it anymore!" [A group of Ella, after she used Double Team, plays their saxes. Two Ellas standby for backup singing.] Fruitcakes in the kitchen [Ella and Rivet:] (Fruitcakes in the kitchen) Fruitcakes on the street (Fruitcakes on the street) Struttin' naked through the crosswalk In the middle of the week Half-baked cookies in the oven (Cookies in the oven) Half-baked people on the bus (People on the bus) There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us [Wolfgang takes over the steel drum on his synthesizer as well as other random sounds required.] Paradise, lost and found Paradise, take a look around I was out in California where I hear they have it all They got riots, fires, mud slides They've got sushi in the mall Water bars, brontosaurs, Chinese modern lust Shake and bake life with the quake [Jason vibrates around the stage] The secret's in the crust Fruitcakes in the kitchen (Fruitcakes in the kitchen) Fruitcakes on the street (Fruitcakes on the street) Struttin' naked through the crosswalk In the middle of the week Half-baked cookies in the oven (Cookies in the oven) Half-baked people on the bus (People on the bus) There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every one of us "Speakin' of fruitcakes, how 'bout the government? Your tax dollars at work." We lost our Martian rocket ship The high paid spokesman said Looks like that silly rocket ship Has lost its cone shaped head [He drew a finger across his throat] We spent 90 jillion dollars trying to get a look at Mars I hear universal laughter ringing out among the stars Fruitcakes in the galaxy (Fruitcakes in the galaxy) Fruitcakes on the earth (Fruitcakes on the earth) Struttin' naked towards eternity We've been that way since birth Half-baked cookies in the oven (Cookies in the oven) Half-baked people on the bus (People on the bus) There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every one of us. [Jason points to three girls in the front row of the audience, briefly taking the hand of the last one. She falls down in a faint.] "Religion! Religion! Oh, there's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning. Here we go now. Alright, alter boys." [All instruments stopped except Miami, who continued with a light snare riff.] Mea Culpa Mea Culpa Mea Maxima Culpa Mea Culpa Mea Culpa Mea Maxima Culpa [Rivet and Ella rest their instruments and 'oooh' a cappella.] Where's the church, who took the steeple Religion is in the hands of some crazy-ass people Television preachers with bad hair and dimples The god's honest truth is it's not that simple It's the Buddhist in you, it's the Pagan in me It's the Muslim in him, she's Catholic ain't she? It's the born again look it's the WASP and the Jew Tell me what's goin on, I ain't gotta clue [All instruments start up again. Jason moves around the stage to each of his pokémon, before moving back to center.] "Now here comes the big one. Relationships! We all got 'em, we all want 'em. What do we do with 'em? [Cheer from the crowd] Here we go, I'll tell ya." She said you gotta do your fair share Now cough up half the rent I treat my body like a temple You treat yours like a tent But the right word at the right time "Hey, give me a little hug." [Jason holds his arms out to a random person in the audience] That's the difference between lightning And a harmless lightning' bug Fruitcakes in the kitchen (Fruitcakes in the kitchen) Fruitcakes on the street (Fruitcakes on the street) Struttin' naked through the crosswalk In the middle of the week Half-baked cookies in the oven (Cookies in the oven) Half-baked people on the bus (People on the bus) There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every one of us "The future. Captain's log, stardate two thousand and something." [He puts a finger to his temple and tries to look serious.] We're two years past the millennium That's a science fiction fact Stanley Kubrick and his buddy HAL Now don't look that abstract So I'll put on my Bob Marley tape And practice what I preach Get jah lost in the reggae mon As I walk along the beach Stay in touch with my insanity really is the only way It's a jungle out there kiddies Have a very fruitful day [He waves to the crowd, smiling winningly.] Hey. Fruitcakes in the kitchen (Fruitcakes in the kitchen) Fruitcakes on the street (Fruitcakes on the street) Struttin' naked through the crosswalk In the middle of the week Half-baked cookies in the oven (Cookies in the oven) Half-baked people on the bus (People on the bus) There's a little bit of fruitcake left in every one of us [Ella and Rivet continue playing and begin 'oooh'ing again until fade out.] "That's right, you too. Yeah those crumbs are spread all around this universe. I've seen fruitcakes. I saw this guy in Santa Monica roller skate naked through the crosswalk. Down in New Orleans in the French market there are fruitcakes like you cannot believe. New York, forget it. Fruitcake city. Down island, we've got fruitcakes. Spread them crumbs around. That's right, we want 'em around. Keep bakin' baby. Keep bakin'." ______________________________________________ [While the crowd cheers, all of Jason's pokémon leave the stage except Rivet. Jason and Rivet pull out folding chairs and sit in them, Jason center stage, Rivet stage right. Rivet slings an acoustic guitar around his neck and starts playing. All lights go out except a single spotlight shining on Jason that gives him a wise, storyteller-like air.] Fat and docile, big and dumb They look so stupid, they aren't much fun Cows aren't fun They eat to grow, grow to die Die to be et at the hamburger fry Cows well done Nobody thunk it, nobody knew No one imagined the great cow guru Cows are one He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal Cow Tse Tongue He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd Cow doldrums He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high Bad cow pun But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate Cows are bummed He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy No one suspected he was packing an Uzi Cows with guns They came with a needle to stick in his thigh He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye Cow well hung Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor Run cows run! He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay We are free roving bovines, we run free today [Two Ellas enter, playing trumpets. A faint spotlight is cast on them.] We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns [The Ellas don't leave, but rest their trumpets and stand motionless.] They crashed the gate in a great stampede Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed Cows have fun Sixty police cars were piled in a heap Covered in cow pies, covered up deep Much cow dung Black smoke rising, darkening the day Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way [The Ellas play again, and this time Rivet joins in singing with Jason. A spotlight shines on him.] We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns [The spotlights on Ella and Rivet disappear. Rivet continues playing.] The President said, "Enough is enough These uppity cattle, its time to get tough" Cow dung flung The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef Cows on buns The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay Cows outgunned [Jason hangs his head and Rivet stops playing. Jason raises his head, looking out at the hushed crowd in a secretive manner. He gazes left and right, as if about to reveal a horrifying tale.] The order was given to turn cows to whoppers Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers [Many people cheered, some sighed. Rivet resumed playing and sang with Jason. The Ellas resumed playing their trumpets.] We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns [Both Rivet and the Ellas play one last line on their instruments.] ______________________________________________ [The lights brighten and soften a bit. Miami and Wolfgang reenter. Rivet plays a few chords, and is joined in by Wolfgang on piano and synthesizer simultaneously. Jason stays seated as he sings.] Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song I just can't remember who to send it to [Miami joins in on the drums.] I've seen fire and I've seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you again Won't you look down upon me Jesus? You got to help me make a stand You just got to see me through another day My body's achin' and my time is at hand And I won't make it any other way Oh I've seen fire and I've seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you again Been walkin' my mind to an easy time My back turned towards the sun Lord knows when the cold wind blows It'll turn your head around Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line To talk about things to come Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you, baby, one more time again now Thought I'd see you one more time again There's just a few things comin' my way this time around now Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you Fire and rain [As the instruments fade out, some people think they can see tears on Jason's face. He hangs his head. And the lights fade and become harsh spotlights again.] ______________________________________________ [A spotlight appears on Rivet. A sound effect gives his voice a mystical sound.] Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality [Wolfgang plays with a calm intensity.] Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see [Rivet and Ella 'oooh' quietly as Jason takes over. He seems to be arguing with the receding echoes of their voices.] I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy [Jason hangs his head again, Rivet and Ella sing.] Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low [Jason joins in, and the sound of wind across the stage chills the listeners.] Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me [Jason only.] To me [Jason stands and looks out at the audience, as if seeing something he dreaded. He takes a few steps forward.] Mama, just killed a man Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead [Jason pantomimes the action. He then holds up his hands in a pleading gesture.] Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away [Jason pulls his hands apart and seems to watch something fall from them. Miami does a roll on the cymbals and drums out the beat. Jason gazes apologetically out at the audience.] Mama, ooh, didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters [Jason puts his head in his hands and stands motionless. The light on him goes dark. Wolfgang plays alone for a while, and then is joined again by Miami. The light goes back on Jason, and he looks up. The lines in his face seemed to have multiplied in the short time.] Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time [He wraps his arms around his body.] Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth [Rivet plays reverently.] Mama, ooh, I don't want to die [Jason drops to his knees, tears trailing down his face.] I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all [Jason puts his head Rivet closes his eyes and plays with a sacred fervor. Then, all music stops and only Wolfgang playing a quick staccato can be heard. Jason raises his head. His short ragged breaths match the beat of the piano. He stands up slowly, on otherworldly look in his eyes. One of fear and awe, together. He sings softly, reverently.] I see a little silhouetto of a man [Rivet and Ella sing powerfully. Jason looks around and above, searching for the source of their voices.] (Scaramouch, Scaramouch Will you do the Fandango?) [Jason starts backing up, still looking around, very frightened.] Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning me [Lights flash and instruments crash. Ella sings and Jason repeats. This seems to calm him and he accepts.] (Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo Galileo, Figaro (Magnifico) [His eyes grow in wonder and horror at the realization of his fate. He looks about, pleading. The piano is playing a light staccato.] I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me [The instruments blast again.] (He's just a poor boy from a poor family) (Spare him his life from this monstrosity) Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? [Hope in his eyes, Jason smiles weakly. He looks to his left.] Bismillah! No, we will not let you go [Rivet responds harshly. Ella pleads for him. Jason looks to her hopefully.] (Let him go!) Bismillah! No, we will not let you go (Let him go!) We will not let you go [Jason begins pleading himself.] Let me go! (Will not let you go) Let me go! (Will not let you go) Let me go! Ah No, no, no, no, no, no, no (Oh, Mama mia, Mama mia) Mama mia, let me go! [Jason is angered and takes aggressive steps toward the audience. He acts aggressively, as if something is holding him back.] Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me [He writhes around the stage, as if on fire. Rivet vamps on his guitar, as if trying to destroy everything with its sound.] So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? So you think you can love me and leave me to die? Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here [Jason's recoils weaken, and he slumps to the ground. Rivet's playing softens, and Wolfgang begins to take over. The lights go out on every other part of the stage, leaving only a soft light on Jason.] Nothing really matters, anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me [Wolfgang plays alone, accompanied rarely by Rivet. Jason can just barely be heard.] Any way the wind blows [The lights go out completely and Jason exits, discreetly. Rivet follows him] ______________________________________________ [Miami taps out the rhythm lightly on his drums. Wolfgang beats an undertone on his piano. Ella multiplies to about 5 Ellas. 4 hold trumpets. The one holding a sax steps forward. Sax Ella starts the tune. She is joined later by the trumpets. Once again, Sax Ella takes another solo. Two trumpet Ellas put down their instruments and pick up clarinets. Sax Ella plays one last time, and the song ends with an accuento to rituendo from all the instruments.] ______________________________________________ Jason walked briskly into the sound booth, trying to tie his cummerbund. "Damn costumes," he mutters then addresses DJ, "How goes the system?" DJ gives him as best a thumbs up as he can, what with having no thumbs and all. "As best as we can expect. A little better in fact, since the Radio station sent techs that actually know what they're doing." Jason nods, and tries to tie his tie. DJ sighs and finishes it for him. Jason smiles and puts on his top hat. "Well? How do I look?" DJ grunts and turns back to his console. "Beautiful, go do your show." Jason gives a thumbs up to DJ's back and walks toward the stage. ______________________________________________ [Wolfgang starts up a boogie-woogie tune on the piano, accompanied by Miami. Jason kicks his way in, dressed in a tux complete with top hat. He carries a cane and swings it around himself in an officious way.] I eat filet mignon seven times a day. My bathtub's filled with Perrier. [Rivet and Jason:] What can I say? This is the life! I buy a dozen cars when I'm in the mood. I hire somebody to chew my food. [Rivet and Jason:] I'm an upwardly mobile dude. This is the life! They say that money corrupts you, [Ella and Rivet: Oooh!] But I can't really tell. [All three singers:] I got the whole world at my feet, And I think it's pretty swell. I got women lined up outside my door. They've been waitin' there since the week before. [Rivet and Jason:] Who could ask for more? This is the life! [Ella pulls out a muted trumpet and plays it while Jason does a little soft shoe. Rivet interrupts, playing his guitar like Val Halen. Jason air guitars with him. They all stop simultaneously and sing a quick scat] Whadap! Whadap! You're dead for a real long time. [Ella and Rivet: Oooh!] You just can't prevent it. So if money can't buy happiness, [All 3:] I guess I'll have to rent it. Yeah, every day I make the front-page news. No time to pay my dues. I got a million pairs of shoes. [All 3:] This is the life! [Ella plays a muted trumpet again, accompanied by a copy of her on clarinet. Jason continues an improvised strut about the stage to the music. Wolfgang takes over, followed by Jason doing a quick tap dance routine. All 3 scat, and DJ scratches throughout.] (Scat) I got a solid gold Cadillac. I make a fortune while I sleep. You can tell I'm a living legend, Not some ordinary creep. No way, I'm the boss. The Big Cheese. Yeah, I got this town on its knobby little knees. I can do just what I please. This is the life! That's right, I'm the king. Number One. I buy monogrammed Kleenex by the ton. I pay the bills, I call the shots, I grease the palms, I buy the yachts. One thing I can guarantee. The best things in life, they sure ain't free. It's such a thrill just to be me. This is the life! This is the life! ______________________________________________ [The lights suddenly took on a red tint. All the band members slump down, as if tired. Rivet and Ella retreat farther back up the stage. Jason moves forward, removing his tuxedo jacket. He takes of his hat and wipes his forehead with his sleeve. He throws his hat offstage and about 4 guys dressed in suspenders, white cotton t-shirts, and tweed pants lazily file in, creating a barrier between Jason and his instrument wielding band members. They snap their fingers to the beat, enjoying the nice beat Jason is cooking up. Jason whistles and some of the guys join him. Rivet plucks out a tune on his bass and Miami taps the cymbals in a syncopated beat.] It's too darn hot It's too darn hot [Jason seems to be addressing the audience in front of him and the group of guys behind him at the same time.] I'd like to sup with my baby tonight And play the pup with my baby tonight I'd like to sup with my baby tonight And play the pup with my baby tonight But I ain't up to my baby tonight Cause it's too darn hot [Some guys join in with him on the second chorus. Ella plays a muted trumpet and Wolfgang plays the piano.] It's too darn hot It's too darn hot I'd like to stop for my baby tonight [All movement stops momentarily] And blow my top for my baby tonight I'd like to stop for my baby tonight And blow my top for my baby tonight But I'd be a flop with my baby tonight Cause it's too darn hot [The beat suddenly picks up and the trumpets and clarinets are much more distinct.] It's too darn hot It's too-too-too darn hot I'd like to fool with my baby tonight Break ev'ry rule with my baby tonight I'd like to fool with my baby tonight Break ev'ry rule with my baby tonight But pillow you'll be my baby tonight Cause it's too darn hot [Two guys flank Jason and he explains to them with his motions and voice.] According to the Kinsey report, every average man you know Much prefers to play his favorite sport when the temperature is low But when the thermometer goes way up and the weather is sizzling hot, Mr. Adam for his madam Is not Cause it's too, too, too darn hot It's too darn hot It's toooooo daaarn hot It's too darn hot (Scat) I'd like to call on my baby tonight And give my all to my baby tonight I'd like to call on my baby tonight And give my all to my baby tonight But I can't play ball with my baby tonight Cause it's too darn hot [The guys are really getting into it. They make hand movements and jump up to accent certain lines.] (It's too darn hot) Ohhh (It's too darn hot) I'd like to coo (coo) to my baby tonight (to-oo my baby tonight) And pitch the woo (woo) with my baby tonight (to-oo my baby tonight) I'd like to coo to my baby tonight And pitch the woo with my baby tonight But brothers you bite my baby tonight Cause it's too darn hot According to the Kinsey report, every average man you know Much prefers to play his favorite sport when the temperature is low But when the thermometer goes way up and the weather is sizzling hot, Mr. Gob for his squab (A marine for his queen) A GI for his cutie-pie Is not Cause it's too, too, too darn hot It's too darn hot It's too, darn hot Man it's hot! [Everyone scatters around the stage, as girls in flannel dresses enter and start flirting with all the guys. An especially buxom blonde seems to have chosen Jason. The girls stand in formation and Charleston, making movements toward the man of their choice. A blast of trumpets coaxes the guys in. Some grab the girls around the waist and they lift them up, dancing with them. Jason is heard saying things like "Oh! I love it!" and "Blow horn, blow!" The drums play a quick mambo beat, and the couples form a circle, and a boy and a girl begin a mambo. They are allowed only a short dance, because all the couples run back in, clapping, and scatter to opposite sides of the stage. The trumpets flutter and each short note elicit a movement from either the guys or the girls towards the middle. They meet, and the guys take the girls in their arms, and the girls go limp. Each guy leans his girl all the way back. Their heavy breathing can be heard. Jason suddenly yells and the couples move around the stage and Charleston with each other again. They end in a pose, with each girl sitting on her respective guy's knee.] ______________________________________________ [The crowd cheers again, and Jason removes his tux shirt and pants to reveal his new outfit, a Hawaiian shirt and black Dockers. Miami taps out a beat on his sticks and plays a roll on his drum. Rivet vamps his guitar. Jason, cheeks flushed and grinning from ear to ear, picks up a bass and plucks out the tune. He speaks to the audience.] We're gonna do a little party tune for you here This is an old, rhythm and blues, boogie-woogie number, Called "Boom Boom (Out Go the Lights)" Alright, hey Okay now there's an opportunity in this song For us all to do a little shouting out here, okay? When I sing "Boom! Boom!" I want you all to answer me back with "Out go the lights!" Right? "Boom! Boom!" and you sing "Out go the lights!" Let me see those hands up above your heads. Way up high! Way up high! Way-up-high-way-up-high-above-your... Headssss! Oh way in the back now, come on, let's see 'em! Let's see 'em! Hey! One! Two! One...yeah One. Two. One two three four! No kidding! I'm ready to fight! I've been looking for my baby all night If I get her in my sights...Boom! Boom! (right here) Crowd: Out go the lights! [Jason grins and dances up and back down the stage. He is practically screaming into the microphone in his hand.] No kidding! I'm ready to go! If I find a boy, doncha know If I get her in my sights...Boom! Boom! (what is it?) Crowd: Out go the lights! Well, I thought of cheating my baby back But I just found out she don't want me here When I get her in my sights...Boom! Boom! (come on) Crowd: Out go the lights! [Rivet steps forward and lets all hell loose onto his guitar.] I've missed her before! Well, I never felt this bad before But I just found out she don't want me no more If I get her in my sights...Boom! Boom! (come on) Crowd: Out go the lights! No kidding! I'm ready to fight! I've been looking for my baby all night If I get her in my sights...Boom! Boom! (one more) Crowd: Out go the lights! [Big finish, with the classic rock "don't wanna finish" style. The crowd is on their feet cheering. Jason waves at the crowd.] ______________________________________________ "Thank you all for coming!" Jason cried out. He wiped some sweat from his forehead as the crowd whistled. "Let's have a big hand for my pokémon and friends! Ella!" The Jynx curtsied and waved to a cute guy pokémon in the audience. "Rivet!" The Charmeleon grinned and gave a thumbs up to the crowd. He jammed a few chords on his guitar and gave another thumbs up. "Miami!" The Marowak jumped up on his drums, taking off his bandana and tossing it into the crowd. A scramble ensued between many female ground-types to acquire it. "And Wolfgang!" The Machamp stepped out from behind his patented double-synthesizer. He forced a polite frown and bowed to the audience. A female Machoke catcalled, and the gentleman blushed lightly. Jason turned back to the crowd, putting on his best smile. He lowered his voice and spoke into the microphone. "I've got one last song for you. One I'd like to dedicate to a special someone." ______________________________________________ [Jason and Rivet have discreetly switched guitars. Jason begins playing his guitar, joined immediately by Miami and minutes later by Rivet on bass. Jason leaned into the microphone. His whole soul seemed to pour out in his voice.] Brainstorm, take me away from the norm I got to tell you something This phenomenon, I had to put it in a song And it goes like Whoa, amber is the color of your energy Whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally You ought to know what brings me here, whoa You glide through my head blind to fear And I know why Whoa, amber is the color of your energy Whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally [Even when not playing, Jason closed his eyes, pouring every fiber of skill he had into this one moment.] Whoa, amber is the color of your energy Whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally You live too far away Your voice rings like a bell anyway Don't give up your independence Unless it feels so right Nothing good comes easily Sometimes you gotta fight Whoa, amber is the color of your energy Whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally Launched a thousand ships in my heart So easy, still it's fine from afar And you know that Whoa, brainstorm take me away from the norm Whoa, I got to tell you something... ______________________________________________ "...I love you, Amber." Jason breathed into the mike. Putting down his guitar, he leapt off the stage, and swept Amber up into his arms, who had come running down the aisle as soon as she heard him say that. "Well, about time." Karl muttered. Vixxen stood up and clapped her paws together slowly. Bob, Karl and Solo joined her. Soon the whole audience was cheering like they've never cheered before. But Jason and Amber, in their embrace, were oblivious. Amber lifted her head to look in Jason's eyes. Tears of happiness filled them as she gazed up at him. He lowered his head and their lips touched for many minutes. They separated and she opened her eyes. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear that." She whispered to him and rested her head on his chest. "Thank you. That was the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me." Jason smiled and gazed over her head at nothing in particular. "Don't mention it. It's what any good boyfriend would do." Amber tightened her. "But either way thank you." Jason shook his head, brushing his chin against her hair. "Forget about it, it wasn't that great." Amber pushed away from him. She raised a claw to her mouth to hide her smile. "You really don't know how to take a compliment, do you?" Jason's face fell, but he quickly put on a dumb grin. "Nope, they go straight to my head." They gazed into each other's eyes. Jason approached her and apologetically put his arms around her. She snuggled into him. "Thank you," she said into his chest. "You're welcome," he replied. TBC... (Woo hoo! All told [including the preparation of compiling the songs], I'd say that took about 9 hours to put together. Woo! I'm going to bed and then to Long Beach. It's time for a vacation! A reminder to you, Caytlin, to put this up when necessary. Make changes where needed concerning character placement and such.) ----- (OOC from Amber: This post is a whole friggin 17 pages long! O.O Oh well it was awesome)