From: Bandraptor (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Subject: [PW!] A Blastoise From the Past
Date: 2003-11-28 12:18:22 PST
It is a Friday afternoon in Goldenrod City, and a slow day at the
Haircut Brothers' Salon in the Underground. Both the elder brother
and the younger brother are in the back room of the salon, giving
their full attention to a Ninetales, and taking their time, since the
waiting room up front is devoid of customers. Twin television
monitors near the entrance are showcasing the latest fashions to their
nonexistent audience, and loud Eurobeat music is blaring over the
intercom. A big Blastoise attendant, who looks more like a bouncer
than anything else, finishes sweeping up behind the cash register, and
closes his eyes in boredom. He rests his chin against the top of the
broom handle, and stifles a large yawn.
"What the--?" The Blastoise's eyes snap open, and he finds himself
face to face with a grinning, green-eyed girl. He stumbles backwards
in shock! "N-nori?!? What the hell are YOU doing here?"
"Heh." Nori chuckles, amused by his reaction.
"Hmmm... Umm... You're looking well..." Rubix isn't sure exactly what
"Are you happy to see me?"
Rubix shakes his head. "I don't know, I haven't decided yet. Why are
"To see you, obviously!" Nori puts her hands on her hips. "You know,
you're a tough guy to find."
"Yeah, well..." Rubix looks over his shoulder to make sure that his
bosses aren't listening, "With all the crap we did back in the day, I
think it's best to keep a low profile."
Nori laughs, "Haha, we had some good times. Why did we ever break
Rubix shoots her a dirty look. "I believe the exact words were,
'leave me alone, or I'll kill you'."
Nori stops laughing. "Yeah, that sounds about right."
There is an awkward pause. After several seconds have passed, the
Blastoise clears his throat, "So, how *did* you find me?"
Nori looks at him as though the answer is obvious. "I just asked
around if anyone had seen a big, talking Blastoise. Also, did you
know that somebody posted your address on the bulletin board by the
Magnet Train? It's attached to some weird manifesto about
"I know, I KNOW." Rubix looks like he's getting a massive headache
just thinking about this.
"...Anyway," Nori continues, "I was pretty surprised when I found out
that you were living in Johto. I always figured that after I released
you, you'd go back to that trainer in Saffron. You know, the guy I
filched you from. I mean, you were always talking about him like he
was God or something..."
Rubix frowns. "Hrrrrrrmmm..."
Nori's eyes light up. "You did go back, didn't you! What happened?
I bet he caught a bunch of new Pokemon while you were away, and he
didn't even remember you, and he wouldn't take you back because you're
such a big blowhard..."
Rubix scowls, "Okay, about three sentences ago? That's where you
It takes Nori a couple of seconds to realize that she's hurt her
ex-teammate's feelings. She fidgets self-consciously, "Heh, sorry.
It's that whole lack-of-empathy thing."
"It's that whole lack-of-a-brain thing..."
"But really, I'm surprised to see you here. I mean, you're a pretty
"...you're well traveled..."
Nori cocks her head, "...so why the heck are you working such a
crappy, dead-end job? Is it because your skills don't have any real
world applications? Or is there some sort of a glass ceiling for
giant, mutant turtles?"
Rubix slaps his forehead, "What was that advice I just gave you?"
"...And why are you working *here*?" Nori stretches her arms out to
indicate the building that they're in, "I always thought that the
salon business appealed to Pokemon who...er, Pokemon who..."
"What?" Rubix dares her to complete this thought.
"Pokemon who can learn Cut!"
"I seek to dispel such stereotypes." Rubix points an accusing finger
at Nori. "So, what about you? I hear you're Giovanni's little
"I heard you were working at the Viridian Gym."
"What do you care?" Nori growls defensively.
"No reason," Rubix responds, "it's just that you told Akuni and me
that you were getting out of Pokemon training for good, and then you
ran off to Viridian with Cerberus, and that lout Arcanine. How were
we supposed to feel?"
"Aw..." Nori gets a faraway look in her eyes. "Gym battling was a
pretty sweet deal. Sometimes I got to eat three times a day! I
wanted to stay behind after Gary Oak took over, but he said...he
Nori spits it out, "He said he didn't want my type hanging around his
"Who can blame him?" Rubix sighs. "You still haven't answered my
question. Why are you here?"
Nori speaks coyly, "Oh. No reason. I just wanted to visit my best
Rubix stops her, "Cut the crap. You think those Dark attributes make
you so mysterious, but I can still read you like a book. I know that
you *want* something, so just come out and ask me, so I can say no."
Nori gives it a shot. "Wanna come to Mt. Silver with me? I'm going
to beat up some trainers in the name of good and righteousness."
Rubix interprets, "You want me to fight in the Silver Conference..."
"I don't *want* you to do anything!" Nori protests, "I'm inviting you
to come with me, because I thought you would have fun!"
"Yeah, well, in the past, your attempts at 'fun' always ended with
*me* fighting off cops!"
Annoyed that the Blastoise is dredging up old issues, Nori argues,
"You know, if you hadn't bullied Magmar into leaving, he could've
fought those battles instead of you!"
"All I did was tell him the truth about Magby--and if you hadn't
*insisted* that Delibird was his daughter, I wouldn't've raised such a
"And if you hadn't knocked him off of a *cliff*, he wouldn't have
found that egg in the first place!"
"If you hadn't dragged me to the Ecruteak Gym, I wouldn't've been so
pissed off that day!"
"If you hadn't spent all of my money on TMs, I wouldn't have had to
battle Morty for cash!"
"If you hadn't set those Arcanine back on our trail, I wouldn't have
needed to know Earthquake!"
Nori defends herself, "Well, if you hadn't led us into Johto, that
never would've happened!"
Rubix fumes, "If you hadn't killed that Mr.Mime, *none* of that stuff
"Whoa." Nori whistles, "Listen to yourself. This job is making you
tense and irritable. You need a vacation. You should come with me to
"Why are you so set on entering the Silver Conference?" Rubix
demands, "You won't be able to enter under your real name, so it's not
like there's notoriety to be gained. The worst case scenario is that
Officer Jenny will recognize you, and arrest you the minute you set
foot off the mountain." He fold his arms over the front of his shell,
in an irritated pose, "What makes you think you even have a chance of
winning? You only made it to the third round of the Indigo
tournament, and that was when everyone was in good shape. I know I'm
giving you too much credit, but challenge me. Tell me that you've
thought this through, and you actually have a legitimate reason for
Nori punches the air self-importantly, "I've sworn to set right the
ills perpetrated in the name of human advancement, to redress the
crimes committed by the trainers of Johto, to champion the rights of
all Pokemon, and to uphold the honor of the Tyranitar clan!"
Rubix groans, "For the love of Raymond Johnson, not another plan that
"What's wrong with Tyranitars?" Nori is very offended. "What do you
have against Dark-types? Rubix, you are so racist."
"I have nothing against Dark-types." Rubix says pointedly, "YOU get
stupid around Dark-types."
"I do not!"
Rubix narrows his eyes. "How's that shoulder feeling, Nori? Healed
up pretty well?"
Nori raises her left arm halfway. "My shoulder? It's okay, yeah--"
Rubix hits her with a Submission attack! Nori falls to the ground,
clutching her injured arm. "Ow, ow, ow! What did you do that for?"
"Because you have a short memory!" Rubix shouts. "That's how it
feels to have your arm Crunched by a Tyranitar. Remember that pain,
because I didn't carry your mangled carcass out of the Silver Caves
just so you could repeat your past mistakes. The Tyranitars of Mt.
Silver don't need your help, and they don't want to help you, so stop
screwing around with them, before you get yourself killed."
Nori grimaces, still nursing her shoulder. "Owwwww. Listen, this has
nothing to do with what happened the last time we were at Mt. Silver."
Rubix snorts. "Tell me another one."
"This is more important than that!" Nori exclaims, "Mt. Silver is one
of the few refuges for wild Pokemon, but once a year its sanctity is
broken, when the Pokemon League invades it for the purpose of their
tournament. Every year, when the Silver Conference rolls around,
trainers descend on Mt. Silver en masse, and try to capture the
Tyranitars who live there. All Dark-types are my brothers, and since
I know that the Tyranitars are being targeted by trainers, I can't sit
idly by. I'll defeat those trainers during the Silver Conference, and
then, while they're still weak, I'll steal their Pokemon back, and
release them. I'll make examples of those trainers, and then
everybody will know that the Tyranitar line is not to be touched!"
Rubix is unmoved, "Now that you've gotten the melodrama out of your
system, would you care to tell me what you're really up to?"
"I'm serious!" Nori declares, "I'm going to win the Silver
Conference, and once I'm League Champion, I'll use my power to ensure
that *no* Pokemon are captured, ever again!"
"Oh. So, you're going to cause a scene at the Silver Conference, and
then you're going to double-cross the Pokemon League," Rubix sums up.
"I don't believe that for a second--that plan is too moronic, even for
you. Look, if you're entering the tournament for the prize money,
just come out and admit it."
Nori locks eyes with the Blastoise. "I meant what I said." She looks
down at the ground, with a sigh of concession, "If you help me out,
I'll give you all of my tournament winnings."
Rubix eyeballs her skeptically. "What?"
"You heard me. If I forfeit my prize money, will that prove to you
that I'm serious?"
Rubix watches her a bit longer, thinking this over, and weighing his
options. Finally, he says, "I do think you're telling the truth, but
that doesn't mean I'm impressed. Cripes, you can be such a pain in
the ass sometimes." He ducks down behind the counter.
Nori gets to her feet. "What are you doing?"
"I'm getting my stuff. Somebody needs to keep tabs on you while you're
at the Silver Conference."
Nori beams, "You're coming with me?"
Rubix walks out from behind the counter, a black messenger bag slung
over his shoulder. "Don't get too excited. I'm just coming along to
make sure that you don't get hurt."
Nori bats her eyes winningly. "Aw, Rubix, you really do care about
Rubix pauses midstep, and says gruffly, "What I meant was, I'm only
doing it for the money."
Nori smirks slightly, "Yeah, I know."
Pokemon o ubatte kanemouke!
Pokemon o tsukatte kanemouke!
Subete no Pokemon wa Roketto Dan no tame ni!