From: Jose L. Solano (jsolano199@aol.comlink)
Subject: [PW!][SC] Captain Ahab says: I HAVE ARRIVED!
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
Date: 2003-12-09 21:09:05 PST
"I HAVE ARRIVED!"
"Wait in line, I've got other customers... you there, you wanted twenty?
Baldy, no cutting! You, fat lady, if you're not willing to pay the price, get
out, I've got other people to serve! Ashura, quit slacking! The guy with the
fez is still waiting on his eighty pounds of Karpmeat!"
"ARRR!"
"Shut up and wait your turn! Here's your order... this is half of what I'm
demanding! Yeah, yeah, supply and demand lady, you demand, I supply, I GET TO
SET THE PRICE, now pay up or shut up!"
"I WAITED LONG ENOUGH AND I AIN'T WAITIN' NO MORE!" A pirate's cutlass
stabbed into the giant white Magikarp. Trent looked up and a giant musclebound
man looked down at him, shirtless and wearing a black bandana with a white
Duskull's face on it. "NOW LISTEN HERE, I'M HERE FOR THE WHITE MAGIKARP'S HEAD,
ARE YOU RETWIN OR AREN'T YOU?!"
"Yeah. Now are you going to pay up or what?" Trent said, puffing out his
chest and standing up to the giant pirate.
"ARRRRR, I'M DOWN HERE, LANDLUBBER!" Trent looked down. A short old man with
a graying beard and a black coat stood next to his giant crew member. He had a
pipe fixed to his mouth and one of his eyes was gray and blind. Below his right
knee was a giant spike, the horn of a Seaking, used as a replacement for the
limb taken by the giant Magikarp. He was surrounded by an assortment of
pirates, variably wearing eyepatches, bandanas, and sheathed sabres.
"...Captain Ahab, I presume... so are you going to pay up or what?"
"ARRRR, I BE SEEIN' THE KARP'S HEAD BEFORE I HAND ME BOOTY OVER TO YOU!"
"Stop yelling."
"I CAN'T! WHEN THAT MAGIKARP TOOK ME SHIP, I HIT ME HEAD AND DAMAGED ME
BRAIN! ME CREW TOOK ME TO SEE A SCURVY NEUROSURGEON AND HE COULD DO NOTHING FER
ME!" Captain Ahab took a step towards the Magikarp's head.
"AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
"...I don't believe this." Captain Ahab, attempting to walk on his Seaking
horn, had fallen over. With the pointed end of the horn facing down, it didn't
support his weight very well. One of his mates had to help him up. He took
another step forward and again fell over, yelling frantically each time he did.
After several minutes and several slips, he made it to the Magikarp's head.
"AYE, THIS BE THE DEMON FISH THAT TOOK ME SHIP AND ME LEG! ARRRR!"
"Good. You want to pay up now?"
"ER... AH... I HAVEN'T GOT THE LOOT WITH ME... ARRRRRR..."
"WHY NOT?!"
"I HAD TO CONFIRM THE WHITE MAGIKARP... ARRRRR... GO BACK AND BRING THIS
HUNTER HIS PRIZE, ME HEARTIES! I'LL STAY HERE AND GUARD THE MAGIKARP...
ARRRRRRRRRR... I'LL HAVE IT STUFFED AND PUT IT IN ME CABIN AS A TROPHY! YOU
KNOW I'VE BEEN CHASIN THAT FISH FROM KANTO TO HOENN!"
"Yeah, that's nice..."
"I HAD A HARPOON WITH ITS NAME ON IT, BUT I WAS AFRAID ME MAGIKARP-HUNTIN
DAYS WERE NUMBERED... I GOT A BUM LEG AND I AIN'T A YOUNG SWABBIE NO MORE...
ARRRRRRR..."
"Why doesn't anyone around here know when to shu-"
"THE BEAST TOOK ME FIRST MATE, AYE, HIS NAME WAS CLETUS. WHENEVER THERE WAS
SOMETHING GOOD ON NBC, CLETUS WOULD TELL ME, 'TURN TO NBC', AND I'D TURN TO
NBC, AND SHIVER ME TIMBERS, THERE WAS SOMETHING GOOD ON! DID YOU KNOW THAT
GEORGE W. BUSH RESMBLES A CHIMPANZEE?! AYE, DEAD RINGERS, BE THEY!"
"SH-"
"AYE, NOR DID I! CLETUS WAS THE ONE WHO SHOWED ME, AND CLETUS WARNED ME THAT
FULL HOUSE WOULD BE ON NICK AT NITE! ARRRR, THE MAGIKARP TOOK ME MATEY, AND NOW
THE WHITE BEAST BE TAKIN' A NAP IN DAVEY JONES'S LOCKER!"
"ARRRGHH!"
"I ONCE SLEPT IN DAVEY JONES'S LOCKER... AYE, I WAS BUT A YOUNG MAN THEN,
AND I TOOK ME WENCH TO SEE THE MONKEES IN CONCERT... AYE, WENCH LEFT ME SOON
AFTER... ANYWAY, I WENT BACKSTAGE AND DAVEY JONES HAD A LOCKER, AND I ASKED HIM
IF ME AND ME WENCH COULD SO IT, AND HE SAID 'YEAH SURE, YOU RAT BASTARD!' AND
HE PUSHED ME IN AND I DIDN'T ESCAPE FOR THREE DAYS! I HAD TO SLEEP IN THERE
WITH HIS SHOES, AND HE ONLY CLEANED THEM EVERY SEVEN MONTHS! HE SAID HE'D TAKE
ME WENCH TO THE HARBOR FOR SOME PLUNDERIN' AND I SAID 'AVAST, YE SCOUNDREL!
THAT MAIDEN BE NOT FER YOU, SHE BE ME WENCH!"
"WILL YOU SHUT-"
"AYE, THE BEAST TOOK ME LEG TOO! I WANTED A SHINY STEEL LEG LIKE BLACKBEARD
HAD, BUT ALAS, SETTLED FOR A SEAKING HORN, I DID! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!" Captain
Ahab screamed as a bullet hit the ground near him.
"SHUT UP!" Trent yelled, too angry to make a decent threat. He took a deep
breath and calmed down. "Hmph. I'm not gonna sit around here waiting for these
ass pirates to get their captain's booty." Trent stopped to think about what he
had just said, but ignored it. "Graveler, Vertigo, Kurt, stay here and make
sure he doesn't try anything." Trent took two cleavers from one of the
concessions managers and handed them to a woman in an apron. "This line is
self-serve now. My Abra's going to remember who didn't pay the price and if any
of you have taken more than you've paid for, I'm adding you to your own menus!"
"ARRRR, THAT IS NOT A MAN'S THREAT!"
"You stay out of this! Come on, Ashura, let's go find something to do while
his poopdeck pals get our money."
"I WANT TO GO TOO!" Captain Ahab stood up, but lacking support from his
Seaking horn, he fell over. "ARRRRRRRRRR!"
(OOC:I needed an excuse to get Trent and Ashura away from the fish market, sue
me)
Jose L. Solano
-------------------------------
A devious, degenerate defender of the devil