From: Rob (robfrompw@yahoo.com) Subject: [PW!] Guys and Brawls Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2003-10-24 23:34:30 PST "No, I have NOT gone senile!" An annoyed Captain Briney shouts into the blue Pokegear on his right wrist, "A little black-haired girl stole my ferry from the dock here in Dewford Town! Hold on a moment..." Captain Briney covers the screen on his Pokegear with his hand and faces the middle-aged magician across from him at the table in the Pokemon Center, "Are you SURE you saw a LITTLE GIRL steal my ferry? A LITTLE GIRL?!" Marvin, the magician, nods, "Yeah. She also stole my three shiny Unown." He proceeds to stuff his face with ketchup-soaked french fries. Captain Briney removes his hand from his Pokegear and once again looks down at the face that appears on the device's screen, "Anyway, the reason I called you, Captain Stern, is because I need help getting off this island. I'd like you to send the vessel that I'm the honorary captain of, the S. S. Tidal, over here to Dewford Town to pick me up." "I'm afraid I can't do that, captain." Captain Stern shakes his head and explains, "Just yesterday, on a cruise from Lilycove to Slateport, a good portion of the passengers of the S. S. Tidal fell inexplicably ill. Why, even some of the passengers' Pokemon got sick. They're being treated here in Slateport, but until someone finds out who or what was responsible for this, the S. S. Tidal will remained docked here in Slateport." "Great. Just great." Captain Briney frowns at his predicament, "Call me the minute the ship's ready to sail. I don't know how much longer I can maintain my sanity stuck on this tiny island." Captain Stern salutes his fellow seaman, "Aye aye, captain." Captain Briney's Pokegear switches to Clock Mode and he finds himself staring at Marvin, who's face is covered with ketchup, "Ugh, I can't stand to look at you. You eat like a Grumpig." "I'm not sure how to react to that," Marvin admits, "I don't even know what a Grumpig is, let alone what it eats like." Captain Briney narrows his eyes, "It eats like a pig." "Why, I never!" Marvin wipes his ketchup-covered mouth with the back of his hand, snorting whilst doing so since he's catching a cold, "I'm going to go challenge the local Gym Leader - I was going to see if I could bring you something nice from the Gym as a thank-you gift for bringing me here, but now I'm actually reconsidering it. Good day, sir." Marvin leaves the Pokemon Center in a huff. Once outside, he immediately starts sweating under the heat of the sun. As he adjusts his tuxedo's collar, he remarks, "Talk about being hot under the collar..." It doesn't take long for Marvin to arrive at Dewford Town's Gym. When he enters the building, his eyesight has to immediately adjust due to the stark contrast between the light emitted by the blaring sun outside and the lack of light in the poorly-lit interior of Dewford Town's Gym. The middle-aged man feels his way around the small, dark labyrinth he just entered, until his hands wind up on a rather ample chest. He looks up to see a feminine face surrounded with long blue hair and he apologizes, "Sorry, miss! I didn't mean to touch your Mystery Berries!" "Dude, you just spoke too TSUNAMI!" The person Marvin bumped into speaks with the voice of a male surfer, "I'm a dude, dude. And dude, next time you wanna greet me, I suggest you simply WAVE." Marvin rubs his eyes and suddenly it becomes clear that what he just touched are muscular pecs, not breasts. He shudders while saying, "...I... don't know how to feel... right now..." "Just chill, dude. No need to be toungue-TIDE. Now, who're you and why're you here?" Marvin tries to shake a disturbing image out of his head by literally shaking his head, then says, "I'm Marvin and I'm here to try to earn another Hoenn League Badge. Is the Gym Leader in?" "You're in luck, dude! I'm the Gym Leader! The name's Brawly," Brawly pats Marvin's back, "Let's SEA what you're made of - we'll have a two-on-two battle, no time limit. Go, Makuhita!" Brawly pulls out a Pokeball and drops it on the floor, releasing a pugnacious yellow Pokemon with fists which look like black boxing gloves. The Makuhita throws a few phantom punches, awaiting his opponent. "I'd better not send out my Octillery, after what he did the LAST time I let him out of his Pokeball..." Marvin contemplates which Pokemon to use on his way to his side of the Arena in the Gym, "That only leaves Torchic, who's inexperienced, and Exeggutor, who has a multiple personality disorder. Geeze, I need to catch more Pokemon!" Once at his spot, he pulls a Safari Ball out of his tuxedo coat and drops it. The very second Marvin's Exeggutor materializes, one of the coconut-like heads bursts into tears, another glares at Marvin, and the remaining two look down at their opponent and smile. The sad head and the angry head want to march towards Marvin to Stomp on him, but the two happy heads want to approach their opponent, so the Exeggutor starts hopping back and forth, swaying rather irregularly as the battle for control ensues. Brawly is taken aback by the behavior he's witnessing, "WATER'S the matter with your Pokemon, Marvin?" "Water's the matter?" Marvin considers asking Brawly if he has a speech impediment, but decides against it since he worries it might be rude, "When my Exeggutor was a bunch of Exeggcute, some of them didn't want to evolve while others did and the disagreement resulted in my Exeggutor having a multiple personality disorder. He can still fight, though... at least I hope so. Exeggutor, use Leech Seed!" Brawly commands, "Arm Thrust, Makuhita!" Brawly's Makuhita Thrusts one Arm at Marvin's Exeggutor and his fist makes contact twice before the unfazed Tree Pokemon launches a small seed out of his fronds. The seed almost misses Makuhita due to interference from the Exeggutor's unhappy heads - it lands on Makuhita's extended fist, then vines shoot out of the seed, engulfing Makuhita. The energy the Leech Seed drains from the Fighting Pokemon fully revitalizes Marvin's Exeggutor, undoing the damage Makuhita's Arm Thrust inflicted. Marvin smiles and calls out, "Now Stomp on him, Exeggutor! In my humble opinion, that would be much better than Stomping on me!" Brawly tries to encourage his Pokemon, "Your opponent is big, Makuhita, that's for SHORE, but you can still defeat him! Use Vital Throw!" The Makuhita reaches up, both of his arms breaking through the vines hugging his body, to attempt to Throw his intimidating and insane opponent. However, since the complex move takes time to execute, the Exeggutor Stomps on the Fighting Pokemon's head with the one foot the two happy heads control before the Makuhita can attack. Undaunted, Brawly's Makuhita hops up, hugs the leg attached to the foot that just attacked him, and throws his opponent to the ground with one swift motion. As Marvin's Exeggutor falls, Brawly shouts, "Timber!" The fallen Tree Pokemon struggles to get up, having no arms. While attempting to stand, the Leech Seed on the now heavily-breathing Makuhita drains more energy from him, helping Marvin's Exeggutor hop up to his feet and forcing Makuhita to faint. "No matter." Brawly recalls his Makuhita and grabs another one of his Pokeballs, "I've got just the Pokemon. Combusken, go! Use Ember!" A long-legged Fire Pokemon appears in the Arena, flames spewing from his beak onto Marvin's Exeggutor, scorching the Grass Pokemon's fronds. "You know," Marvin raises an index finger in protest, "For a person who makes so many puns about the sea, you really should be using a Water Pokemon - you know, the kind of Pokemon that are weak to Grass Pokemon like Exeggutor, not the kind that can easily defeat him." Brawly smirks, "Life's a BEACH sometimes. Combusken, Peck!" "Hey, it's my turn..." Marvin tries to argue before yelling, "Hypnosis!" Exeggutor's two obedient heads try to perform Hypnosis on the Comusken standing before them, but the Fire Pokemon leaps up and over Exeggutor and turns to face the Exeggutor's two disobedient heads, which aren't even attempting to use Hypnosis. Combusken Pecks them both and Marvin's Exeggutor falls over again, this time unable to get up. "Exeggutor, return." Marvin pulls his fainted Pokemon into his Safari Ball, shrinks it, and stashes it in his tuxedo, "Hmm, I doubt Torchic would be able to defeat a stronger version of herself, so I guess I have no choice." He withdraws a small Pokeball, enlarges it, and chucks it into the Arena, "Octillery, please don't hurt me and use Bubblebeam!" "'Please don't hurt me?'" Brawly scoffs at Marvin, "Do all of your Pokemon want to hurt you, dude?" When Marvin's Octillery appears, the Octopus Pokemon raises one tentacle towards Marvin, but then notices that he's once again in an Arena, this time facing what he considers a more formidable opponent than the Rock Pokemon he faced in his last battle. Very interested in battling, the Octillery shoots a concentrated Beam of Bubbles at Brawly's Combusken, weakening the Pokemon and slowing him down simultaneously. Marvin finally answers Brawly's question, "Not always, thankfully!" Brawly kicks once with both legs, "Combusken, counter with Double Kick!" "Double Kick?" Marvin raises an eyebrow as he watches Brawly's Pokemon attack his Octillery twice, kicking him once with each of his legs, "You mean your Fire Pokemon is also a Fighting Pokemon?!" "Cha - for sure, dude!" Brawly laughs at Marvin's ignorance, "I'm a Fighting Pokemon trainer! Didn't you know that?" "Well, maybe if you made puns about FIGHTING instead of WATER..." Marvin shrugs and doesn't bother to finish his thought, "Anyway, thanks for clearing that up. Now I know exactly what to do - Octillery, Psybeam!" "A Psychic attack? Noooo!" Brawly kicks twice more as he commands, "Combusken, another Double Kick!" But Brawly's command is issued too late, since the Bubblebeam attack has slowed Brawly's Combusken considerably. The Psybeam that shoots from Octillery's eyes makes direct contact with the Combusken's head, forcing the Fighting Pokemon to grab his hurting head with his arms. The Combusken falls to his knees in pain and finally topples over in defeat. As Marvin raises both of his arms to celebrate, his Octillery raises all of his tentacles high as well. Brawly, on the other hand, slumps over and says, "Bummer." The Gym Leader recalls his Combusken, walks across the Arena, and pulls a Knuckle Badge out of his pocket, "Marvin, you've totally earned this Knuckle Badge. Way to go, dude." He offers the Knuckle Badge to the middle-aged man, who lowers his arms to take it. "All right!" Marvin dances around happily while pumping his arms up in the air, "Two Hoenn Badges in a row! I'm on a roll!" After pinning the Badge on his tuxedo, he shakes Brawly's hand and says, "I can't wait to tell Famifax about this battle - SHELL be so happy for me! Get it? SHELL?" Marvin chuckles to himself as he dances out of the dark Gym. "'SHELL be so happy'?" Brawly grimaces, "Like, that just sounds stupid." -Marvin