Subject: [PW!] Marvin: Now In Hoenn Date: Sun, 06 Apr 2003 15:08:22 GMT From: Rob <robfrompw@yahoo.com> Organization: AT&T Worldnet Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Marvin the magician, a middle-aged man wearing a golden tuxedo that looks like it hasn't been cleaned in a week, points out from the ship he's on to the horizon, where the land of Hoenn is now visible, "Land ho!" "Who you callin' a ho?!" Asks a busty pink-haired teenager standing near him who's wearing a pink bikini top, a pink thong, and a Pink Bow. She puts her hands on her bare hips and glares at him, "Like, I haven't been on a date in almost a week! I didn't even date the ticket dude in Vermilion - I just flirted with him a little and he gave me the free Tickets to Hoenn." "I'm not calling you a ho, Famifax!" Marvin sweatdrops, "It's just an expression..." "Do not mind my sister, master." A purple Ditto climbs up Marvin's leg and perches herself on his shoulder to get a better view of the landmass the ship is approaching, "When she does not receive some form of sexual gratification, whether it be intercourse itself or some sort of foreplay, on a daily basis, she becomes... how can I put this?" Marvin suggests, "Antsy in her pants?" The Ditto nods, "Precisely." "Shows what you knows, sis!" Famifax narrows her eyes and indignantly states, "I'm not even wearing pants." "Regardless." The purple Ditto says before changing the subject, "Master, once we arrive in the land of Hoenn, where do you suppose we should commence our search for the shiny Unown that the child thief and her Raccoon Pokemon stole?" "I'm not sure, Xerox." Marvin reaches into one of his dirty tuxedo's pockets, pulls out a brochure, and says, "I was looking at this Hoenn Tourist Brochure I got at Vermilion Port earlier and it said the only tourist spot in Littleroot Town, the town this ship is docking at, is Professor Birch's Lab. The town doesn't even have a Pokemon Center in it! The girl took last week's cruise to Hoenn and I seriously doubt she decided to settle down there - she's probably long gone by now..." He unfolds the brochure and gazes down at it. Xerox reads the entire paragraph about Littleroot Town in the brochure before Marvin is able to re-read the first sentence, "Perhaps she did not, but I suspect she may have visited the Lab before leaving the town." "Blech! Like, why would that girl go see a Professor?" Famifax grimaces, "Pokemon Professors are totally nerdy and disgusting and they care more about science and stupid stuff like that than girls!" Marvin blinks, "Wait a minute - how old was the girl, Famifax?" Famifax shrugs, "I dunno. Ten, eleven? Somethin' like that." "I doubt she'd be visiting the Professor to woo him, then." "...oh yeah!" Famifax slaps herself on her forehead, "I forgot humans take a little longer than Pokemon to realize what's most important in life. And then there's those creepy people like Pokemon Professors who never do." Xerox narrows her small black eyes, "Firstly, sister, the brochure claims that Professor Birch lives in Littleroot Town with his wife and child. Secondly, I believe copulation is not what is most important in life. Even if he had not found a life partner, Professor Birch's work regarding the habitats and distribution of Pokemon would still be valuable to people and Pokemon alike. To answer your question, Famifax, the reason -" Famifax blinks, "I asked a question?" "Yes. You asked why the child thief would visit Professor Birch's Lab." "Oh yeah." "The reason I believe she would pay a visit to Professor Birch is that Pokemon Professors are known to keep rare and valuable Pokemon from a around the world in their Labs. Based on the fact that she stole three shiny Unown from our master, I believe she might have attempted to steal one or more of the Pokemon Professor Birch was studying when she arrived at Hoenn." "Well, there's only one way to find out." Marvin states as the ship docks at the small port near Littleroot Town, "Let's go pay the Professor a visit ourselves and ask him." He walks towards the ship's exit with Xerox still perched on his shoulder. Famifax follows them, checking out some of the male passengers on the ship as she does so, especially those by the ship's pool who are wearing only bathing suits. She's so distracted by the males she doesn't notice the green-haired female wearing a black leather jacket, white shirt, black skirt, and black leather boots by the pool nor the Smoochum arguing with her. "I hope you're happy, Roxie - we've arrived at Littleroot Town. I still think we should've waited an extra week for the ship to Slateport City." The Smoochum waits for some sort of response from the teenage girl she's talking to, but when Roxie remains silent, the Smoochum angrily waves her tiny arms in the air and shouts, "There's no way that stupid little girl is still gonna be in a backwater place like Littleroot Town! She and my Magcargo are probably miles away from there by now!" "I know that, you annoying little monster." The teenage female narrows her eyes at the talking Psychic Pokemon, "I just think it's easier to steal a new motorcycle from a trusting small town police force than the hardened cops of a giant city. Once I've got a new bike, we'll be able to visit all the cities on the Hoenn mainland in just a few days, even Slateport. Now quit your whining, Diva, and follow me off the ship or I'm gonna shove you back into the Ultra Ball I caught you with." "Stupid lucky throw..." Diva mutters under her breath as she follows Roxie towards the ship's exit, "Caught me off guard... I was tied up, for cryin' out loud... Just wait 'til I get my hands on my Magcargo... Oh, she'll burn, she will..." Meanwhile, Marvin has already set foot in Littleroot Town and he's on his way towards Professor Birch's Lab with Xerox on his shoulder and Famifax, still in her busty young human form, walking at his side. Here on the streets of the quiet small town, Famifax is now the one being stared at by the people around her. Marvin notices all the attention Famifax is drawing and suggests, "Famifax, maybe you should change into a more suitable outfit now that you're not on the ship anymore. Something... less revealing, perhaps? I know - you could turn back into a Ditto and ride on my free shoulder!" "How is that LESS revealing, Marvy?" Famifax shakes her head, "When I'm a Ditto, I'm NAKED 'cept for a bow on my head! Look at sis - she's completely naked right now! I'm not into public nudity, so I'm gonna stay like this a little longer. I think my outfit's totally 'suitable', whatever that means. Fersure!" Xerox momentarily becomes self-conscious of her naked body before mentally reassuring herself that it's socially acceptable for her to not wear clothing since she lacks genitals. Marvin glances over to Famifax and asks, "How can you think your outfit's suitable if you don't even know what suitable means?" "I just do, kay?" Famifax huffs, "I don't tell you how to dress, so leave me alone. Here's a thought - instead of tryin' to figure out what I should wear, maybe you should be tryin' to figure out where the nerdy, yucky Professor lives." "You're right - I'm sorry." Marvin sighs, "I know you're becoming an adult, Famifax, but sometimes I still think of you as a child. I just don't want you to draw unwanted attention since I don't want you to get in trouble." Famifax smiles, "I know, Marvy, I know..." "Master, I believe Professor Birch's Lab is the lone building in the clearing up ahead." Xerox points one her pseudopods at the building she's referring to. After a short hike, Marvin, Xerox, and Famifax are in front of the door of the laboratory. Marvin knocks on the door and when a thin young man with wild green hair who's wearing glasses and a lab coat opens it, Famifax wraps her arms around him and squeals, "Ooooo! You're the cutest Pokemon Professor I've ever seen! Like, how would you like to take your Pokemon research to a whole new level?" She giggles and kisses him on the cheek. "Whaaa?" The young man is disturbed by how intimately the complete stranger is treating him, "Miss, I think you're confusing me with someone else! I'm not a Pokemon Professor - I'm Professor Birch's assistant!" "Who cares?" Famifax continues to hug him as she offers, "You can be my assistant too, if you want. Wanna know what I'd like you to assist me with?" "Please do not humor my sister," advises Xerox, "It only encourages her." "Your sister?" The lab assistant peers at the purple Ditto perched on Marvin's shoulder, "So that means she's a..." He grabs Famifax's shoulders and tries to pry her off of him with little success, "You're a Pokemon?!" "Yeah, she's my Ditto - her name is Famifax." Marvin answers the question addressed to Famifax before introducing himself, "My name's Marvin and the Ditto on my shoulder is Xerox. We're looking for Professor Birch - is he here?" The assistant, who Famifax releases when she notices he's not into her, replies, "You're in luck! Professor Birch spends a great deal of time each day doing field research, but he's having lunch in the Lab right now. Please come in." He escorts Marvin and the Ditto Sisters to a room in the Lab where a brown-haired man with a small beard is sitting at a table finishing off a sandwich. The lab assistant says, "Professor, this man is looking for you. His name's Marvin." The man, who's wearing wearing casual clothes, a lab coat, and sport sandals, turns to face Marvin and wipes his mouth before saying, "Hello, I'm Professor Birch. How can I help you and your... daughter?" "Pokemon, actually." Marvin corrects the Professor, "Though she really is more like a daughter to me than a Pokemon." Professor Birch shakes his head, "I meant the lovely young lady standing next to you, not the Ditto on your shoulder." "Lovely?" Famifax smiles, "Heehee - you're not as cute as your assistant, but you're quite the charmer anyway! If you weren't married, I could totally see myself dating you! Fersure!" "She's a Ditto too." Marvin pats Famifax's head, "She just prefers being in human form most of the time - especially the form of girls in their late teens." "Fascinating. Ditto aren't native to Hoenn, but I've always wanted to study them." Professor Birch stands up and walks around Famifax in a circle, observing her impressive Transformation from different angles, "I've wondered how Ditto choose their habitats, being that they're so malleable in so many regards. They could easily live anywhere, except perhaps underwater - but if they Transform into a Water Pokemon, they can explore the depths of the sea for prolonged periods of time as well." Xerox offers her theory, "Well, Professor, I have found that most Ditto prefer spending time wherever they can copulate with the largest amount of Pokemon. There is an entire Ditto colony near a Breeding Center in Johto. I believe this behavior may be triggered by a complex that less intelligent Ditto develop - lacking genitals of their own, they start feeling inferior and an insatiable thirst for sexual gratification is born. I am the only Ditto I know of who lacks an overactive libido." "Huh?" Famifax turns her attention to Xerox, "... did you just say somethin' mean about me in your crazy talk, sis?" Xerox shrugs her pseudopods, "I am merely sharing my scientific observations with a fellow intellectual. Being an amateur scientist, I feel obligated to share the knowledge I have gathered in my years of research with like-minded individuals." "I'm stunned." Professor Birch says, "I've seen talking Pokemon before in my life, but none as intelligent as you." "Thanks, Birch!" Squeals Famifax as Xerox says, "Thank you, Professor." Anticipating a fight between Xerox and Famifax about who the Professor was complimenting, Marvin changes the subject before the sisters can argue, "Anyway, Professor Birch, I came here to ask you a few questions regarding some Pokemon of mine that were stolen. Did a little girl with a Raccoon Pokemon visit your Lab about a week ago?" "A little girl? Hmmm..." Professor Birch strokes his beard for a moment before saying, "Ah, yes! The raven-haired girl with the big green eyes and the cute Zigzagoon!" Marvin nods, "Yeah. She had her Zigzagoon steal three shiny Unown from me - how many Pokemon did she steal from you? One? Two? Fourteen?" "Zero." Professor Birch raises an eyebrow, "She said she was starting her Pokemon Journey with the intention of competing in the Hoenn League so I gave her a Treecko as a gift. I didn't know she was a thief or that she had more than one Pokemon." Marvin asks, "Did she say anything else?" "Oh, let me think..." Professor Birch pauses for a moment before answering, "She told me that her name was Terri, that she was from Kanto, and that her Zigzagoon was a gift from her grandfather, who had caught him for her when he took a trip to Hoenn about a month ago. She didn't say much else - in fact, she took the Treecko and left before I could even offer her a Pokedex. I'm guessing she went to Petalburg City, though, since there's an official Hoenn League Gym there." Marvin holds up an index finger and declares, "Then that's where I'm headed - Petalburg City!" After a few seconds, Marvin lowers his arm and asks, "...uhm, so how do I get there?" "Go north on Route 101 to Oldale Town then west on Route 102." Once Professor Birch gives Marvin the directions to Petalburg City, the middle-aged man thanks him and turns to leave his Lab, but Professor Birch zips over to the front door and intercepts him before he can leave, "Wait a minute, Marvin - I have a proposition for you. Your talking Ditto fascinate me - I would love to work with them here in my Lab and during my field work. If you let them stay with me for a while, I'll give you a Hoenn Pokedex, a Devon Corporation Pokenav, and your choice between three Pokemon normally only given to new Trainers." "I'd love to stay here!" Famifax licks her lips as she glances over at the green-haired lab assistant, who sweatdrops the moment he notices her glance, "Please, Marvy, please?! I promise I'll be good and behave and all that stuff!" "Sister!" Xerox reprimands Famifax, "We are in Hoenn to help our master retrieve his shiny Unown, not to ogle scientists." "As you can see, Professor, the decision's really not up to me." Marvin explains, "Xerox and Famifax are like daughters to me, but they're also becoming adult Ditto. Xerox, if your sister wants to stay here while we're in Hoenn she can." "Weee! Thanks, Marvy!" Famifax hugs Marvin with a big smile on her face, "I'm gonna miss ya lots! Come back to get me as soon as you get back the Unown and those wallets." "Xerox, I was really hoping you would stay as well." Professor Birch bites his lower lip for a moment, then explains, "I've worked with Pokemon Scientists before but I've never worked with a Scientist who IS a Pokemon..." "Believe me, Professor, I would be delighted to assist you if the circumstances were different." Xerox sighs, "But the fact remains that my master's Pokemon have been stolen and as of right now he needs me to help him find them." "Hey, I have an idea!" Professor Birch exclaims, "You could accompany me when I perform field research all over Hoenn! That way, you can be on the lookout for the girl who stole your master's Pokemon and help me with my research at the same time." "Divide and conquer, eh?" Marvin ponders Professor Birch's plan for a few seconds before saying, "Sounds good to me. I think you should spend some time with the Professor, Xerox - I know how much you love science. I might not understand WHY, but I do know you love it, and this is a great opportunity for you to grow as a Pokemon. With the stuff Professor Birch will equip me with, I'll be fine. Remember, I'm tracking down a little girl, not a Tyranitar - I'll be safe even if you're not by my side." Xerox contemplates working with Professor Birch for a moment then asks, "Are you sure, master?" Marvin nods, "Yeah, Xerox, I'll be fine. Trust me." "Very well. Thank you for allowing me to pursue my passion." Xerox climbs off Marvin and heads over to where Professor Birch is standing, "I will assist you, Professor, but please equip my master with whatever devices you have here in your Lab that may be beneficial to him on his journey so that I need not worry too much about his well-being." Professor Birch reaches into one of his lab coat's pockets with one hand and another with the other hand. When he removes his hands from his pockets, he's holding a red Pokedex in one and a tan Pokenav in the other. He hands both of the devices to Marvin and explains, "Use the Pokedex to receive information about unknown Pokemon. The Pokenav contains a global positioning system that shows you where in the world you are, allowing you to zoom in and out - you can also store information about Trainers you've encountered and Pokemon you're raising if you wish." "Wow - thanks!" Marvin stashes away the red Pokedex in one of his golden tuxedo's many pockets and pushes a blue button on the tan Pokenav. The device flips open, revealing additional buttons and a screen featuring a map of Littleroot Town. He pushes the up button on the device until the screen has a map of Oldale Town on it, "It works great, Professor. Now, did you say something about a new Pokemon?" "Yes. You can choose between Treecko, a Grass Pokemon, Torchic, a Fire Pokemon, and Mudkip, a Water Pokemon." Professor Birch gestures over to a nearby table where three Pokeballs rest, "Would you like to see the Pokemon?" "No need..." Marvin walks over to the table and explains, "I've already got a Grass Pokemon and a Water Pokemon with me, so I think I should diversify my team by taking the Fire Pokemon. Which Pokeball contains the Torchic?" Professor Birch answers, "The middle one." Marvin takes the center Pokeball and pushes the button on it. The Pokeball pops open, a beam of white light shoots out, and a cute orange Torchic appears. She flaps her tiny wings and squeaks, "Torchic?" Marvin smiles and greets his new Pokemon, "Hello, little one. My name's Marvin - I'm your new Trainer. Don't worry, though, I've had experience with Bird Pokemon - I had a multi-colored Spearow on my Team for a while." The Torchic happily chirps, "Torchic, torch!" "Torchic seems to like you, Marvin!" Professor Birch observes, "Now, I think you should hurry to Petalburg City. Norman, the Petalburg Gym Leader, is notoriously powerful so Terri might still be in the area raising her Pokemon to fight him." "And probably raising my Pokemon too..." Marvin narrows his eyes in determination, "Thank you for all your help, Professor Birch. Please take good care of Xerox and Famifax!" Professor Birch nods, "I will." Marvin then addresses the Ditto Sisters, who are currently flanking Professor Birch, "Famifax, please don't play any tricks on the good people of Littleroot Town - I want you to be on your best behavior. Xerox, don't isolate yourself during your time here by sitting at computer all day long - please cooperate with Professor Birch and his assistant. You can help them learn a great deal and vice versa. I'm going to miss you both very, very much. Take care of each other, you two. See you later..." Before tears can well up in his eyes, Marvin recalls his newly acquired Torchic and leaves Professor Birch's Lab. -Marvin