From: Jose L. Solano (jsolano199@aol.comlink)
Subject: [PW!] OH NO! Trent Gets Used!
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
Date: 2003-11-23 12:00:58 PST
Pokewars!- Trent Retwin
"OH NO! Trent Gets Used!"
Jose L. Solano
"Good, you're all here," Trent said to his assembled Pokémon in a small
clearing somewhere in the Johto region. He wasn't quite sure where he was, but
he figured that if he was going to compete in the Silver Conference, he would
have to at least be in Johto. His tired Aerodactyl munched on some fried
chicken under a tree. Kurt the Abra sat next to Aerodactyl with a clipboard. He
had been deemed too weak to compete, so he would be scorekeeper. Ashura the
Sandslash, Warren the Skarmory, Vertigo the Exeggutor, and the poor nameless
bastards Steelix, Graveler, Rhydon and Kabuto faced their coach, ready for
their first challenge. "First, I'd like to congratulate you all for living this
long. You must be doing something right. Let's get into the first exercise...
"EXEGG."
"Uh... no."
"EXEGGGGG..."
"I've had enough of this. You're cut!" Trent put Vertigo back in his
Pokéball. "Don't need that psycho screwing with the team dynamics."
"He had a point," Kurt said to him.
"He did NOT have a point!"
"...You didn't understand him, did you?"
"That's not the point! Steelix, you'll be fighting Ashura. Rhydon, you'll
fight Graveler. Warren... you fight Kabuto." Warren looked down at Kabuto and
shrugged. "FIGHT!" The battles were over very quickly. Ashura was knocked into
a tree, Graveler was still rolling along the ground, and Warren was still
seeing stars. "Pathetic, PATHETIC! Ashura, what the hell was that?"
"...Slaaaash..."
"Graveler, are you gonna take that from him?"
"Grav."
"Pathetic! Warren, what the hell was that?"
"...luck..."
"Huh?!" Trent had completely forgotten that his Skarmory could talk.
"Alright. You're all off the team! Steelix, Rhydon, Kabuto, you're still in."
"Got bad Pokémon?" a man in a dirty brown trenchcoat asked. He stood behind
a tree with his hands keeping his coat closed and his equally dirty hat casting
a shadow over his eyes. "Sell them for CASH."
"You have ten seconds to sell me on the idea," Trent told him, holding a gun
to his head.
"If you are not completely satisfied with your Pokémon, return them for a
full REFUND."
"Refund, you say?" Trent put his gun away. "Here's an Exeggutor. I want a
refund." The salesman took the Pokéball and slipped it into his coat. "Well?"
"Here you go..." The salesman put his hand against Trent's, as if giving him
invisible money. "You get what you paid for!"
"You think you're funny, don't you?"
"Very."
"Yeah... that was pretty funny." Trent laughed. "Wait, wait, let me do
one... hey, what's two plus two?"
"I don't know. Four?"
"NO." Trent punched him in the face and took back Vertigo. "Better get rid
of this body."
"I am not dead..." the salesman said from the ground. He got up quickly,
rubbing his bleeding nose, and kept his distance from Trent. "Okay, no more
funny business, I swear. I will pay up to FIVE HUNDRED for any defective
Pokémon... oh my! Oh my, is that a Rhydon? A fully trained Rhydon?"
"It is." Rhydon stepped forward, roaring in an attempt to further impress
the salesman. "One of my best."
"Sir... a fully trained Rhydon is worth up to ONE THOUSAND!"
"So do you want to make a deal or what?"
"Very much, sir!" The salesman held out a wad of bills and counted it for
Trent to see. "One thousand, CASH."
"Hmm... Rhydon's one of my best. Is it worth a thousand to lose him?"
"Slash," Ashura said.
"You have a point. No deal." The salesman scowled.
"He does not have a point!"
" ...You didn't understand him, did you?"
"That's not the point! Alright, alright... may I interested you in a trade
instead?"
"A trade, you say?" The salesman took a silver Pokéball and released the
creature inside. As large as a Rhydon and with a similar build, this monster
was plated with steel armor, with horns on its helmeted head. "Whoa... what's
that thing?"
"This is a fully trained Aggron, a Steel and Rock-type native to Hoenn. This
particular specimen is at level 51, gifted with the Rock Head ability."
"Hmm. Taking it out for a test drive... Aggron, Submission!" Aggron tackled
Trent's Steelix with enough force to send the steel-snake flying back. He
landed, reared back, and roared at Aggron, who stomped on the ground and
slammed its tail in a show of a aggression. "That thing's tough. Tell you what,
it's a deal." Trent returned Rhydon to his Pokéball and handed it to the
salesman. The salesman returned the Aggron to the silver Pokéball and handed it
to Trent.
"A pleasure doing business with you... are you sure you don't want to sell
any of your others for CASH?"
"Pretty sure. Go away, we've got some training to do."
"As you wish..." the salesman ran away, giggling to himself. Trent looked at
the shiny new ball and released his new Pokémon... only it wasn't what he
expected.
"SON OF A BITCH!" He didn't stand in the presence of an intimidating Aggron,
but a smaller parody of it... an Aron. It would almost be cute if Trent cared
about such things. "HE SWINDLED ME!" Without another word, Trent ran off in the
direction of the salesman. Ashura shrugged and petted the Aron.
Elsewhere in the woods, the salesman climbed into a tree and threw off his
hat. He was just a punk kid, probably no older than fifteen, and dressed like
an average traveling trainer.
"It's a done deal," he said, handing a Pokéball to Carol Ross, now wearing a
tan coat of her own.
"Oh, you got it! You got it, thank you so much!" Carol took the Rhydon and
put it safely in her front coat pocket. "Did you give him the Aron?"
"Yeah, he got it. So... about my payment?"
"Oh... here you go!" Carol handed him a small Pokéball, containing a stolen
Donphan. "Enjoy!"
"Hold on just a minute, I know who I'm dealing with." The trainer released
the Donphan onto the grass below. "Okay, it's good. Pleasure doing business
with you!" The trainer jumped out of the tree and ran off, waving back to her.
Carol took a moment to admire the Pokéball she had cleverly stolen from Trent,
but her silence was interrupted when Trent jumped into the tree.
"Carol, there you are!" he yelled angrily.
"Trent! What a surprise! I..."
"Shut up and listen to me. Have you seen a guy with a dumpy old coat and a
hat run by here?"
"Oh... yeah, he went that way." She pointed in a direction opposite of where
the trainer had gone. "Snickering to himself, too. Why, did he rip you off?"
"Bastard got my Rhydon!" Trent jumped out of the tree, unsheathing his
swords. "YOU'LL TASTE YOUR BLOOD BEFORE YOU DIE!" Carol sighed in relief that
Trent hadn't recognized the Pokéball and jumped out of the tree. With three
Pokémon now hers to command, she had a tournament to sign up for... and
possibly a disguise to reuse.
(Yeah, Carol will be re-using the Karen/Eskimo Lady disguise Rob and Beth came
up with a year ago)
Jose L. Solano
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A devious, degenerate defender of the devil