From: Jose L. Solano (jsolano199@aol.comlink)
Subject: [PW!] On the Town
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
Date: 2003-11-10 22:32:44 PST
Pokewars!- Trent Retwin
"On the Town"
Jose L. Solano
"So what do you think?"
"...Slash."
"No? Hmm. Well, how about the red one? I thought it was good, it matched my
eyes."
"...Slash." Trent had been trying on new clothes at Carol's suggestion, but
he conveniently waited for Carol to leave and go off to do whatever it was she
did when he wasn't bossing her around before doing anything about it. He felt
black was his best color, but Ashura had agreed with Carol, so they went to a
department store in Sootopolis. Trent was trying on a blue button-up shirt with
Ashura sitting impatiently outside the dressing room, waiting for him to come
out every so often and show him whatever new article he was wearing.
"Well... how about these pants...?" Ashura just stared at him. "Hmm. You
have a point. This is a waste of time, what's wrong with the way I look
anyway?"
"Sandslash."
"Too much black?! You can never have too much black! I mean, look at me, I'm
a god damn bounty hunter-demon-hardass-"
"-Sandslash-slash-slash-"
"Shut up! Look, I look good in black! This shirt is fruity anyway! How am I
going to make people fear me if I'm dressed like I'm coming over for dinner?!"
Ashura and Trent stood in silence for a few moments. "So, you thought the red
was better, right?"
"...Slash."
"But not the yellow? Or the blue?" Trent looked at the shirts, stopped to
think, and tossed them aside. "Okay, fuck this. It's not worth it." Trent went
back to the dressed room and put his normal outfit back on. He threw all the
clothes he had tried on into a small pile in the center, took a match, and set
it on fire. "Okay, let's go." Trent started walking when several Pokéball-like
bombs dropped from his trenchcoat and flooded the area with gas. Trent and
Ashura ran out of the cloud and Trent checked his trenchcoat.
"Aw, DAMMIT! This thing's got holes in it now!" A Pokéball fell out and
Trent's Kabuto appeared, clinging to his face. "ARRRGH! THIS IS WHY I NEVER LET
THIS THING OUT!" Two employees and a shopper ran out of the gas cloud, gasping
for air. One of the employees had inhaled too much and dropped to the floor,
twitching. Trent pried Kabuto off his face and stored the worthless fossil. He
watched as the shopper stood up, dusted herself off, and leisurely walked over
to another section as if nothing had happened.
"Excuse me, sir," one of the tan-shirt employees called to him. "It appears
your coat is full of holes. May I interest you in any of our fine assortment of
winter clo-"
"Actually, yes!" Trent said. "This trenchcoat's gotten really ratty. I
haven't washed it since... er... Ashura, when was the last time I washed it?"
"...Slash."
"Right, never. I'm the market for a replacement... something with lots of
pockets on the inside, for storing... things."
"What sort of things?" tan-shirt asked suspiciously.
"ALL kinds of things."
"Donphans and Spoinks?"
"Er... okay, you're nuts, kid. Show me what you've got." Tan-Shirt led Trent
to the winter gear department, which primarily had down jackets and stocking
caps and such. "Uh... this stuff's a little too bulky. I don't really get that
cold. Got anything more... casual?"
"No."
"So this is it?"
"Yes."
"...I'm a little disappointed." Trent unsheathed one of his swords. "Yeah, I
need to work off some anger right now."
"Swords are not allowed here, sir."
"NEITHER IS DEATH!"
"Actually, sir, death is perfectl-" Tan-Shirt stepped aside as Trent hacked
into a register counter. "-ly legal in all departments."
"Hmm. No fun in doing something legal." Trent struggled to pull the sword
out of the counter. "But seriously, you don't have anything else?"
"We have a few unsold fall coats in the back room, if you'd like to take a
look."
"...That sounds good." Trent pulled the sword out and sheathed it. Tan-Shirt
led Trent to the back room were a few boxes sat in the corner. Trent opened one
and held up a yellow trenchcoat, similar to the one he already wore, only made
of better fabric... and the sleeves hadn't been torn off. There were about as
many pockets inside as his own trenchcoat. "Not bad, not bad at all... wouldn't
happen to have them in any other color, would you?"
"Whatever's in those boxes is all we have, sir." Trent opened another box
and pulled out a red trenchcoat.
"So Ashura, you said red looked good on me, right?"
"Sandslash," Ashura said sarcastically.
"Okay, not yellow or blue... ugh, a pink trenchcoat... white... hmm, white,
that goes with black, doesn't it?"
"Saaaandslash slash slash."
"Yeah, you have a point, white's not my color... hey, a black one!" Trent
pulled out the new black trenchcoat and held it up. Unfortunately, he compared
it to the one he was wearing and found that it was actually just a dark gray,
and it stood out against black. "Argh. White coat was playing tricks on my
eyes. Ashura, help me out, see if you can find a black."
"Slash." Ashura tore open the remaining boxes and looked through them. He
pulled out another gray one, also fooled into thinking it was black.
"Sandslash."
"You're kidding. This is it?"
"That's all we have, sir," Tan-Shirt said.
"Hmm..." Trent tried on the gray trenchcoat. "How do I look?"
"Slaaaash..." Ashura rolled his eyes.
"Who cares what you think? I'll take it!"
"Very good, sir, now just follow me so I can ring that up for you..."
"No, no, no, I said I'll TAKE it."
"Sir, you would be surprised how often I hear that." Trent switched all his
items over to his new gray trenchcoat and tossed the ratty old one on the
floor. Once Tan-Shirt had left, still talking to him, Trent took another match
and set fire to the boxes in the back room. Once they were back in the
department, Tan-Shirt started messing around with the cash register. Ashura
poked Trent in the knee and motioned for something.
"Slash... slash!" Trent took one of his Pokéball-shaped bombs and set it
down in the fault between Ashura's claws. Ashura threw it like a jai alai
player and it exploded in the sporting goods section, sending baseballs and
shattered mannequins everywhere. Trent laughed and took another bomb, pointing
to the kid's department.
"Sandslash! SANDSLASH!"
"Fine, you spoilsport! How about housewares?"
"Slash." Trent hurled the bomb into housewares and took cover behind a rack
of shirts as shattered glass sprayed over them. He took another bomb and handed
it to Ashura.
"Excuse me, sir," Tan-Shirt said, still not looking up from the register,
"Explosive devices are not allowed in the store..." Ashura threw the bomb into
the shoe department and rolled into a ball to shield himself from the debris.
"...I'm going to have to ask you to stop this."
"Okay, okay, my turn!" Trent threw the next bomb into the men's department.
"SLAASH! SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!"
"Huh? SHIT! I FORGOT ABOUT THE GAS!" The explosion threw Trent and Ashura
out the window and onto the street, along with several shoppers, employees and
articles of clothing. Bystanders watched as the flames consumed the department
store. Trent brushed off some debris from his trenchcoat and saw that it was
hardly damaged.
"Wow. Good trenchcoat... er... come on, Ashura, let's go find something else
to do." Trent and Ashura casually walked away from the fire as a squad of
Marshtomp (at least, that's what Trent thought they were called) in fire
helmets ran to the department store. "So what do you want to do now? Heard
about a new tournament going on back in Johto, thought we could go check it
out."
"Sandslash."
"And if we lose, we can just blow that place up, too!" As the Marshtomp
sprayed the department store, Tan-Shirt, with his tan shirt ironically torn and
covered with soot, stared up, but didn't seem to fazed by the whole thing.
"I'm pretty sure that's not allowed..."
Jose L. Solano
-------------------------------
A devious, degenerate defender of the devil