From: Rob (robfrompw@yahoo.com)
Subject: [PW!] [SC] [R1] SHAKK Attack!
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
Date: 2003-12-02 17:20:01 PST
In the green room at the Green Trainer's side of the Silver Stadium, a
fair-skinned blonde shepherdess stands across from her Sunkern holding
a Sun Stone. "Are you SURE you don't wanna evolve yet, Sunkern?" The
floating Seed Pokemon nods her head, not wanting to evolve since she's
concerned her love, Sarah's Cyndaquil, wouldn't appreciate seeing a
female Pokemon evolve before he does. The Sunkern has picked up on
Sarah's family's ideologies during her stay at her Trainer's home. "It
was wise of ma to keep me from evolvin' Sunkern 'til I remembered my
past. As Belle, I probably would've forced you to evolve." Sarah tucks
away the Sun Stone in the leather satchel dangling from her shoulder,
respecting her little Pokemon's wishes.
Meanwhile, the announcer speaks to the large crowd gathered at the
Stadium to watch the first Round of the Silver Conference. "Wasn't
that last battle exciting, folks? Today's third match promises to be
just as exciting. While the field is being cleaned up, let's get ready
for the next match by watch some footage of the strategy employed by
the upcoming Red Trainer, Bo Harakune - or, as he's better known by
his many fans, SHAKK-Master. Turn your attention to the monitor
closest to you to see some footage from a recent contest SHAKK-Master
entered in Goldenrod City to warm up for the Silver Conference."
SHAKKmaster wrote:
> "Bored yet, Steelix?" Bo asks as Steelix's yawn sends the Skitty staggering.
> A Hyper Beam barely strong enough to snap a toothpick takes it out. Finally
> is an Oddish. Steelix is reduced to a laughing hyena but has to be returned
> because it was laughing too much and the ref counted it as a loss.
>
> "Aeroblast, but don't hit it," Bo said, releasing Sureswift2. The large
> Fearow sighed and shot around the tiny, tiny Oddish. Oddish waddled right
> up to Sureswift2 and sent a Solarbeam at its long neck. The sudden impact
> sent the Fearow's head - and Aeroblast - pointing directly at the Oddish,
> knocking it out.
"What an impressive Aeroblast attack by SHAKK-Master's Fearow! And
here I thought Fearow couldn't even learn that move!" The announcer
explains, "SHAKK-Master's strategy is very intricate - he raises his
Pokemon to extremely high levels in order to decimate the low-level
Pokemon he faces. With that solid strategy, it's no wonder he won
second place in a past Silver Conference! The only flaw in his
strategy that could cost him this match is that his Pokemon sometimes
start laughing at their opponents' small statures, rendering them
unable to fight. Will the Pokemon the Green Trainer chooses to battle
SHAKK-Master be laughably weak? We shall soon find out since the field
is once again ready for battle! Trainers, approach the field!"
"Heee-yah!" SHAKK-Master front-flips out of his waiting room and onto
the battlefield, landing on his feet. He's wearing his usual gray
headband, white shirt, black cargo pants, black longcoat, and brown
combat boots. SHAKK-Master unsheathes his SHAKK Saber and holds it
high to roaring applause from his fans in the audience. Seeing that no
one is standing at the other side of the Arena, he raises an eyebrow
and asks, "Hmm? Who DARE battle me? Who dare challenge SHAKK-MASTER?!"
Really nervous to be walking out to such a huge crowd, Sarah slowly
approaches her spot in the Arena, looking down at the ground. She's
wearing a white halter top, a long brown skirt, brown sandals, and a
leather satchel. The applause from the audience encourages her a
little, although most of it is intended for SHAKK-Master.
The announcer declares, "Match 3 will pit SHAKK-Master against a
shepherdess from Route 32 named Sarah. Now let's find out which field
they will battle on and who will go first." The crowd's attention
turns to the giant scoreboard in the Arena, where the field selector
dial lands on the Ice symbol and a red and green wheel informs the
crowd that the Red Trainer will go first.
"You think you're a big girl?!" SHAKK-Master taunts his opponent from
across the Arena as an Ice Field emerges before him, "Well then,
C'MON, BIG GIRL! It's SHAKK TIME!" SHAKK-Master pulls a Pokeball from
within his longcoat and slams it on the ground, releasing a menacing
Houndoom. The vicious Dark Hound snarls at Sarah, ready to do what his
master commands.
Not sure which of her Pokemon she should send out to battle such a
scary Pokemon, Sarah rummages through her satchel for a few seconds,
considering her possibilities. She finally withdraws a Pokeball and
stares at it for a moment, not sure if she should throw it.
The pause in the action annoys SHAKK-Master, who's eager to win this
match. He calls out, "Throw it, fool. Throw it, little Dunsparce,
throw! Throw the little Pokeball thing. Throw it!"
Pressured by the taunting, Sarah throws her Pokeball, releasing her
first Pokemon, a pink Flaaffy called Barbie. Barbie shivers when she
emerges on the Ice Field, wishing she still had the thick fleece she
had when she was a Mareep.
SHAKK-Master puts his sword back into the loops on the side of his
giant backpack and kicks the air a few times with both legs for show
before shouting in his booming voice, "Say hello to Houndoom's Faint
Attack, Flaaffy!"
The large Houndoom on the field leaps up into the air, disappears from
sight before everyone in the crowd for a moment, then he re-appears
the moment he makes contact with Barbie, his Faint Attack sending her
crashing onto the ice below! Satisfied with his attack, Bo's Houndoom
does a back-flip for show, returning to his side of the Arena in the
process.
"Barbie, Thundershock!" Sarah cries out in desperation, not sure
whether her Pokemon has fainted or not.
SHAKK-Master commands, "Houndoom, Flamethrower!"
Barbie manages to stumble up onto her feet, but since she's seriously
weakened by the Houndoom's Faint Attack, the single blue spark of
electricity that arcs out of her fleece harmlessly diffuses into an
icicle in eight feet ahead of Houndoom. SHAKK-Master's Houndoom takes
in some air then casually spits a large ball of fire at the Flaaffy
across the Arena. Barbie isn't able to dodge the flame, which engulfs
her. Both SHAKK-Master and his Pokemon stomp the ground at the same
time as Barbie collapses to the ground, making it look as though their
stomping can create small earthquakes.
SHAKK-Master raises one fist high, then he pumps his arm downwards in
celebration, "YEAH! Good work, Houndoom!"
"Flaaffy is unable to battle," says the referee at the side of the
Arena, holding up a red flag, "Houndoom is the winner!"
After sadly recalling Barbie and stashing away her Pokeball, Sarah
once again fumbles through her leather sack, wondering who to send out
against the powerful Houndoom. Though a Water Pokemon should be a
natural choice, she knows that Luthor, her Slowpoke, is angry with her
and wouldn't do what she told him to.
Once again bothered that Sarah is taking up his valuable time,
SHAKK-Master demands, "Choose your POKEMON!"
"M-Maybe I should fight fire with fire..." Sarah withdraws a Fast Ball
and throws it into the Ice Field. Blazer, a Cyndaquil wearing a coat
made of Charcoal, appears in the Arena. He sweatdrops when he sees the
beast he's been sent out to face.
Although his Houndoom is at full strength, SHAKK-Master decides to
amuse himself and the audience by showing off some of his other
Pokemon. "Houndoom, return." Once the Dark Hound is recalled, he
quickly places the Houndoom's Pokeball back in his longcoat. He then
withdraws another Pokeball which he promptly tosses onto the field,
"Go, Havoc! Use Meteor Mash!"
The sweatdrop on Blazer's face grows to three times its original size
as the Pokemon SHAKK-Master just unleashed upon him materializes in
the field. The monstrosity SHAKK-Master calls Havoc is a 5'5 tall
Steel Pokemon that weighs upwards of 1000 pounds. Havoc's piercing red
eyes glare at Blazer as the metallic gray monster hovers up high into
the sky, propelling himself away from the Earth's magnetic field.
Havoc raises his four iron legs upwards to summon his most powerful
attack.
Almost everyone sitting in the Stadium has no idea what kind of
Pokemon Havoc is until the announcer explains, "It appears that in his
spare time SHAKK-Master has caught one of the rarest Pokemon from the
Hoenn region - Metagross, the Iron Leg Pokemon. Metagross has both
Psychic and Steel characteristics, making it one tough opponent for
Sarah's Cyndaquil."
After the announcer's explanation, meteorites start showering down
from the heavens above, landing directly in the Stadium's Ice Field!
First, only small rocks fall from outer space. However, within
seconds, giant chunks of interplanetary debris start crashing onto the
Stadium's Arena, sending crushed ice flying into the faces of
spectators watching the Meteor Mash from the Stadium's lower-level
seating. Sarah shields her face with one arm to block the ice, but the
muscular SHAKK-Master, who isn't afraid of the crushed ice, simply
stands with his hands on his hips, waiting for the Meteor Mash attack
to finish.
When Havoc is done literally wreaking havoc on the Ice Field, Blazer
the Cyndaquil lies unconscious next to a fallen icicle. Since the
Metagross' Meteor Mash hit its intended target, Havoc's already high
Attack Power is suddenly increased.
"Cyndaquil is unable to battle," declares the referee, "Metagross is
the winner!"
SHAKK-Master kicks the air a few times again, hyped up since he
defeated Sarah's Cyndaquil, "Way to go, Havoc!"
Sarah uncovers her face to see that her Cyndaquil has fainted. After
wiping some crushed ice off her body, Sarah sighs and recalls Blazer
into his Fast Ball, which she puts back inside her satchel. "It's a
long shot, but Luthor's angry with me, Tyrogue doesn't like me much,
and Teddiursa's too young..." Sarah withdraws a pink Love Ball and
pushes the button on it, releasing the small green Sunkern she was
speaking to before this match began, "Go, Sunkern!"
SHAKK-Master places one hand on his chin as he looks down at the
Sunkern, pondering his opponent's latest selection. After a brief
moment of thought, SHAKK-Master laughs, "Ha ha ha ha!" He points at
Sarah and declares, "I fear you not. I fear you not, shepherd girl,
neither you nor your green seed." SHAKK-Master recalls Havoc and sends
out Blazerion the Blaziken, "Blazerion, Hyper Beam!" SHAKK-Master puts
his fingers in his ears, knowing Blazerion's Hyper Beams tend to make
much noise.
Sarah's Sunkern floats back a bit when she sees a ball of light
forming inside the beak of the tall Fire Pokemon before her.
A Hyper Beam screeches out of Blazerion's beak, aimed straight for
Sarah's Sunkern. The Hyper Beam hits the Sunkern directly and when the
bright mushroom cloud that engulfs the Seed Pokemon disappears,
Sarah's Sunkern lies unconscious inside a crater formed by the
powerful attack. Tears welling up in her eyes, Sarah recalls her
defeated Sunkern.
"Sunkern is unable to battle," the referee announces, "Blaziken is the
winner! Bo Harakune, aka SHAKK-Master, wins the match!"
SHAKK-Master grins when he's declared the winner. He points to himself
and boasts, "Iiiiii Wiiiin! WINNER - MEEEEE!"
Sarah the shepherdess runs off the field, crying into the palms of her
hands.
"Victory is mine!" SHAKK-Master once again unsheathes his SHAKK Saber.
He holds his sword up in triumph and wonders out loud, "Is there no
shepherd girl who can defeat ME?!"
Sarah continues sobbing as she works her way to the area in the Silver
Stadium where she agreed to meet Teddy, her little brother, after her
match.
-Sarah (( NS: My inspiration for this post came from a
computer-animated short by Steve Oedekerk called "Oedebattle". If
you're interested in watching it, it's available at his website,
oentertainment.com. ))